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A List of Qualities in People that INSPIRE Me

By Inspiration, Life, ThinkingNo Comments
Reading Time: 2 minutes

According to Google inspiration is defined as:

inspiration-definition

Google’s Definition of Inspiration

Back in 2008, I wrote a blog post about People that inspire me. I could add so many people to that blog post.

But instead I decided to look at the qualities in people that inspire me. Here’s my list of qualities that those people display:

  • Accepting.
  • Authentic.
  • Balanced in their thinking.
  • Battle their inner demons.
  • Believe in fairness and equality.
  • Brings joy to others.
  • Can have a presence on entering a room or blend into the background in social situations.
  • Captivating Story Teller.
  • Careful in their actions.
  • Cares about others.
  • Comfortable with themselves.
  • Confident yet humble.
  • Connects emotionally with others.
  • Creative.
  • Describes their own thoughts & feelings through words well.
  • Determined.
  • Diplomatic.
  • Dislikes injustice.
  • Empathetic.
  • Enthusiastic.
  • Flawed.
  • Funny.
  • Generous.
  • Good communicator.
  • Has others following them.
  • Honesty.
  • Humorous.
  • Independent.
  • Influences others.
  • Intelligent.
  • Is a Collaborator.
  • Is a Doer.
  • Is a Dreamer.
  • Is Grateful.
  • Kindness.
  • Knows when, who and why to ask for help.
  • Makes others feel comfortable.
  • Makes others laugh.
  • Motivational.
  • Non-judgemental.
  • Occasional vulnerable.
  • One-step ahead of others.
  • Open minded.
  • Optimistic.
  • Passionate.
  • Patient.
  • Positive.
  • Relaxed in new situations.
  • Self-aware.
  • Sensitive.
  • Shares their Knowledge and wisdom.
  • Sincere.
  • Stands up for the rights of others.
  • Supports & helps others.
  • Unconventional.
  • Values community.
  • Vibrant.
  • Wants a better society for all.
  • Wants others to reach their potential.
  • Willing to fight for a cause.
  • Wise.
  • Works hard.

I’m sure there’s many other qualities that could be added to the list. I also know that as well as people, many other things inspire me. Things such as music, books, films, paintings, nature, animals and expressions of love to name but a few.

What qualities do you admire in the people that inspire you? Feel free to share by leaving a comment below.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Book Review: Family Pride by Michael Shelton

By Amazon, Books & Authors, Gigs & Shows, ReviewsNo Comments
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Family Pride Michael Shelton Book Cover Family Pride by Michael Shelton is written like a research article and has an extensive list reference list. Shelton highlights early on that there is a lack of representation of ethic minorities and economically disadvantaged LGBT families in the research. The book is clearly structured and styled as an educational textbook. No definition of an LGBT family is made or attempted; probably because LGBT families are so diverse in their make up and scope. Just like ‘straight’ families.

Shelton interviewed some LGBT parents and even some of their children from across America for this book. I would have enjoyed reading more of these interviews; particularly around their coping strategies for dealing with homophobia, perceived hertrosexism and subtle prejudices. I would have enjoyed reading about these LGBT families hopes for the future.

Family Pride starts with an introduction, explaining the history of gay rights movement and the extreme rightwing (anti-gay) response to this agenda. How the progress of gay rights movement has had an unintended backlash on LGBT families and put many of them in the spotlight in their communities.

I should point out, at this point, that this book is completely Americanised and lacks any international perspective. However many of the issues faced by LGBT families in America will apply to LGBT families in the UK.

Then Family Pride gives a comprehensive review of the issues LGBT families face including:

  • Internalised homophobia.
  • Stages of coming out as an LGBT to children, families and the community.
  • The facade of the perfect family.
  • Issues in schools such as the other same-sex parent not being recognised and bullying of the children by other children (and potentially some of the school staff).
  • Access and engagement with physical and mental health services.
  • The ability to access and enjoy leisure activities (including the all American Summer Camps).
  • Religious Institutions.
  • and the Police & Legal System.

In the conclusion there’s a small section dedicated to how to improve attitudes and acceptance of LGBT families, which will enable better community integration and to give LGBT families a sense of belonging.

Overall Family Pride has good, evidenced-based content. The writing style could have been more engaging and I felt that Shelton over-explained his point at times. This book is ideal for Students or Practitioners in the disciplines of Social Work, Nursing, Mental Health, Youth Work, Housing, the Police, Prison Officers and other public service institutions. It will give Students and Practitioners an awareness of the issues LGBT families face with accessing and engaging with institutions in a way that is dignified, respected and valued.

Family Pride by Michael Shelton is available to buy on Amazon.

I recently interviewed two LGBT parents for The Gay UK; so you might like to read FEATURE: Coming Out to The Kids – Paul’s Story and FEATURE: Coming Out to The Kids – Linda’s Story.

Review soon,

Antony

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Import: The History of Marriage in the UK

By Creativity, Gay, JournalismNo Comments
Reading Time: 7 minutes

In this article we look at the history of marriage in the UK. Our history starts at 410AD, as before this time there were no written records of the history of marriage. Before written records, history was past down orally from the older generation to the younger one, unfortunately over time this oral history has been lost.

410AD – The Anglo-Saxons and Other Tribal Groups
For many people marriage is strongly associated with religion, but this wasn’t always the case. Straight marriages at this time were about peace and prosperity rather than religion. Marriages encouraged good diplomatic relations and the development of trade between two (or more) tribal groups.

It was the fathers who decided who their daughters married and the wishes of the couple were seen as irrelevant.

gm-consent

(Image Credit: Andrew Brooks @ Flickr)

12th Century – Consent
In 1140 Decretum Grantiani wrote a canon textbook were he introduced the concept of verbal consent to straight marriage and the requirement for a couple to consummate their union to validate their marriage.

In the 12th century the Roman Catholic Church made verbal consent and consummation necessary for the church to view the straight marriage as legitimate. Some Roman Catholic writers at the time also describe marriage as a spiritual experience tied to God’s presence. While this is not surprising, prior to this very little mention of marriage as a spiritual experience.

gm-the-vows

(Image Credit: Stuart Wrightson @ Flickr)

1549 – The Vows
The tradition of vows came from Thomas Cranmer’s Book of Common Prayer. Although the book was updated later on, many of Thomas Cranmer’s words are still used in religious ceremonies today.

These vows laid the foundation for how the Roman Catholic & Protestant churches viewed straight marriage at the time as: a partnership.

Thomas Cranmer must have reflected the views of the mainstream population about marriage at the time; otherwise it would have been unlikely that the church institutions would have accepted and taken on these views.

Roman Catholic Priests at this time were still delivering marriage ceremonies (as all other religious services) in Latin.

However, the Protestant’s began delivering their services in the English language. This is significant as English was the common language and this change made marriage ceremonies (as well as all other religious services) accessible to all.

Today, Protestantism is one the most popular religions practiced in the UK. Many historians believe that changing the ceremonies to English played a huge part in making Protestantism a dominant religion.

1563 – Sacramental Marriage
The Roman Catholic Church officially declared that straight marriage was one of the seven sacraments in this year; meaning that it was something undertaken in the presence of god. The other sacraments are: Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Communion, Confession, Ordination and Last Rites.

The Protestant Church didn’t see straight marriage as a sacrament at this time.

1753 – State Involvement
The Clandestine Marriage Act (1753) set out what the state expected in order for a straight marriage to be seen as legal. It required the couple to get married in a church by a minister and issue a formal marriage announcement or to obtain a marriage license.

1836 – Civil Marriages
In 1836 it became legal for straight couples to get civil marriages, which were generally held in Register Offices. This was to accommodate both the religious and nonreligious.

For the religious it meant that they could get married in a neutral place, if for some reason they couldn’t get married in their church. For the nonreligious it gave them a place void of religion. Prior to this, nonreligious straight couples had to go through a ceremony in a church and undertake practices & traditions that they didn’t believe in.

In 1837 the civil registration of straight marriages started.

1837 – It’s All About Straight Love
Between 1837-1901 it was the Victorian Era. It is said by contemporary historians that the Victorian Era is when marriage became about love, but still only the love between a man and a women. Gay people weren’t treated well in the Victorian Era in the UK, with laws against sexual acts.

gm-oscar-wild-grave

(Image Credit: Nik Mortimer @ Flickr)

Oscar Wilde – widely regarded as one of the most talented writers of all time; was accused of sodomy by the father of his male lover. He lost the trial and was sent to prison. It was rumored that he could have escaped to France, but he didn’t. Once he’d served his sentence, he moved to France.

Left: Oscar Wilde’s grave in France, covered in Graffiti by gay people from across the world.

gm-divorce

(Image Credit: melbelleinsc @ Flickr)

1858 – Divorce
Between the 17th – 19th Centuries there were 300 cases of people wanting to end their marriages. The only way to do this was for an Act of Parliament for each marriage, as there was no accommodation for divorce in marriage law. So in 1858 the government of the time finally made divorce a legal process.

The legal process that meant those who wanted or needed a divorce could have one. But it also signified a shift in the focus of marriage from being a lifetime commitment – for better or worse, to a commitment that could be changed if life’s circumstances changed.

19th Century – Birth Control
By the 19th Century, both the Roman Catholic and Protestant Church’s had promoted procreation as the main reason for straight marriage. But as more children survived childhood, families got bigger and there was a need to use some form of contraception.

In the 1930s the Protestant Church accepted contraception, viewing it as necessary and not a sin or something God would be unhappy with. But the Roman Catholic Church has remained against any form of contraception, as they continue to see the procreation of children as a fundamental aspect of straight marriage.

gm-rings

(Image Credit: Viviana Hurtado @ Flickr)

2005 – Civil Partnerships
In 2005 the first gay civil partnerships took place, a year after The Civil Partnership Act came into law.

It allowed gay people to have legally recognised relationships, which granted them the same rights, protections and benefits of a married straight couple. This included legal rights, such as being one another’s Next of Kin; rights related to their partner’s children and the benefits including those of taxation reductions.

In terms of the actual act, the gay couple could have a civil partnership ceremony that could consist of anything they wanted (within the law). This could be vows, the exchange of rings, their choice in music, etc.

The Civil Partnership Act included a legal process for those gay people who may want to end their civil partnership. It is called ‘dissolution’ and works on similar legal principles to divorce.

This was the first time that the state in the UK legally recognised gay relationships. In the first five there were 42,778 gay civil partnerships.

Peter Tatchell (Gay Rights Activist) as well as others criticised The Civil Partnership Act, saying that it wasn’t complete equality as it excluded straight people from being able to be civil partners.

gay-marriage

(Image Credit: Gary Dunne @ Flickr)

2013 – Gay Marriage
This year The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act has been passed in England and Wales. The first gay marriages are expected in March 2014.

Stonewall said of The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act:

‘This is an historic moment for lesbian, gay and bisexual people, their families and their friends. This Act will mean that, for the first time, children growing up to be gay in England and Wales will have full equality in law. We can now proudly claim to be a beacon to the world for gay equality.’

In ancient history marriage had nothing to do with religion, but helped tribes to live and thrive together. Then Christian institutions (both Roman Catholic & Protestant Churches) influenced the definition and meaning of marriage. In the last century the state has got involved for marriage, allowing marriage to be more flexible and much more inclusive.

Marriage as a concept has evolved to meet the needs and desires of society. Currently there is some debate as to what role the churches and state play within marriage. It is likely that over the next century the Churches will continue to reside over the spiritual aspect of marriage, whereas the state will continue to be involved with the legal and administrative side of marriage.

Antony Simpson, Writer of this article would like to acknowledge the following sources that supported putting together this article based on fact:

BBC – Ten key moments in the history of marriage
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17351133

Office for National Statistics – Civil Partnerships Five Years On
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/…rd/…/ard-pt145-civil-partnerships.pdf‎

Office for National Statistics – Video Summary: What does the Census tell us about religion in 2011?
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/census/2011-census/detailed-characteristics-for-local-authorities-in-england-and-wales/video-summary-religion.html

Peter Tatchell – A setback for equality
http://www.petertatchell.net/lgbt_rights/partnerships/Straight-civil-partnerships-defeated.htm

Stonewall – Equal Marriage to become law – Thank You!
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/what_we_do/parliamentary/5714.asp

Stonewall – Get Hitched! A Guide to Civil Partnership
http://www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/get_hitched_a_guide_to_civil_partnership_english_3.pdf

Published by: The Gay UK Feb/March 2014 Magazine (priced £1.49)

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Thinking of You Often…

By Friends & Family, Gay, Life, Music & Radio, ThinkingNo Comments
Reading Time: < 1 minute

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Thinking of You Often…Alex. This beautiful song makes me think about Alex (see My Darling Baby Brother & Grief); but it is also about equality. The video below tells the story of a gay couple and what happened when one of them died in the US:

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Both are close to my heart.

Write soon,

Antony

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