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February 2009

Your questions answered

By The WebNo Comments

A few months back I installed a script on this Word Press blog to collect stats.

One of the most interesting things that it collects is the key words people use to find my site. So here we go:

You searched for: antony simpson
Who am I? I am a gay, pagan who likes to have adventures.

You searched for: there
Sorry I don’t know what you were searching for. Try emailing me and maybe I can help.

You searched for: votes
You may have found The results are in! You can vote on my mini poll on the side bar.

You searched for: energy
You may have been looking for the energy of the universe, relating to my paganism beliefs.

You searched for: bankcock
I don’t think you were looking for my site! The only link I’ve got is Lady Boys of Bangkok Amazing, updates!

You searched for: pagan camp may 9th 2009
Don’t know anything about it sorry! Try WitchVox.

You searched for: russell howard gay
As far as I am aware Russell Howard isn’t gay. (I know I was disapointed too.) The reason for me saying this is because he mentions him and his brother having girl friends in his latest tour.

You searched for: david
Not sure which David you wanted. David is my lovely boyfriend see Tags – David.

You searched for: slumdog
Yes the films fantastic and all of it’s recent awards demonstrate this. And to think they struggled at a time to get it shown in the cinemas. (They talked of just the dreaded “immediate dvd release.”) See my post: Slumdog Millionaire.

So there you go, some of your questions answered. If you have any (that are decent enough to publish) post a comment and I’ll post a comment back answering them!

Write soon,


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Adobe Flash Error’s

By Rants, Technology, The WebNo Comments

Adobe who has an excellent reputation for making quality software has messed up. Everytime I try to load a page with any sort of flash on (this includes embedded You Tube Video’s) my Windows Internet Explorer crashes.

To be fair to Adobe I don’t know if it’s their issue or Mircosoft’s but they better get it fixed soon! As there are plenty of angry! people like me who can’t surf the web proper until they get it sorted.

Oh an incase Adobe or Mircosoft staff are reading the error is related to the file: Flash10a.ocx . Get it sorted!

Rant over,


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What makes a relationship work?

By Life, Love & Relationships, Thinking2 Comments

Hi All,

Missed me? I’ve been away at David’s for the first whole week ever. He doesn’t have the internet, hense no opportunity to blog. The week reminded me what I have learn’t about What makes a relationship work from past relationships as well as the present one with David. So here’s what I’ve learn’t:

In order to make a relationship work you must know what you want out of it. Your expectations. Many relationship experts recommend if your single you make a list, so you know what your looking for. What these relationship experts often for get to tell you is that you also need to find out what your partner expects out of the relationship too. There’s two people in a relationship you know!

First you need to recognise your internal issues and then you need to start to deal with them. Whether it’s letting go of the past or dealing with your insecurities you need to deal with the psychological baggage we pick up as we go through life. One of the issues that many people have is confidence.

You must have confidence in yourself and who you are as a person. Someone once said to me: How can you expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself? Confidence is a difficult thing to quantify but you know if you have it or not in a relationship. It is also equally difficult to build confidence, but it is doable.

Your partner will also have some of the psychological baggage or ‘issues’ that we all pick up in life. You can help by discussing both of your issues together and dealing with them together.

Communication that clear and honest is vital in any relationship. David and I have had a few arguements (see Job Interview & David and A mad week!) and they are always to do with unclear communication.

A recent example of unclear communication between David and I was the Monday (the 2nd night staying at his apartment). He was tired and had to wait for me to get in. I had forgot to mention to him that I was going to a friend’s and when I did I didn’t let him know when I would be home.

Result: an arguement. My issue getting my level of independance right (one of my ‘issues’) and his the lack of clear communication.

A Mental and Physical Connection
A mental connection also called companionship or friendship. Many people say “my partner is my best friend.” Now whereas I probably wouldn’t say they should be your best friend (as it would make you too reliant on them), they should come close. Mutal interests aid this mental connection. As does sharing the same personality characteristics (such as both playful, serious, artistic, etc.).

A physical connection, passion is also vital. You must fancy them, as much as they fancy you. Couples are strange. Some spend the whole ‘honeymood period’ in bed whereas other couples physical connection enhances as time goes by and they get comfortable with one another.

All couples will have their own way this area of their relationship develops. Your fine as long as it continually developing and not becoming routine or worse none exisistant. If this happens there are plenty of books that will give you advice on how to spice up the bedroom department.

I have seen many relationships break down due to a lack of trust between and in one another. Trust is a odd thing, it is a feeling of utter secure-ness. Like a duvet rapped tightly around yourself making you feel all warm, snug and secure. One of the wonderful things about being in a relationship with David is that I trust him 100%. In addition to this, the duvet feeling he immitates when he hugs me tightly in bed.

A Sense of Humour
For me one of the most wonderful thing is laughter. Laughter to me is the verbalised form of happiness. So a relationship with humour is a relationship with happiness. We all have essentially a sense of humour but sometimes we keep it locked inside. So every now and again, release it and let it out to play!

Individuality & Independance
Getting the right balance of individuality and independance is important. And definitately (from my own experience) not easy. Individuality is about remaining who you are. You are bound to pick up character traits, sayings and little ways off your partner but it is essential that you are you. Your partner fell for you, not for a clone of themselves.

Independance is about doing your own thing. This is benefical in as it gives you space and allows you not to become dependant on your significant other. Both you and your partner need your space in order to continue to grow and develop as individuals and neither of you wants to be completely dependant up on the other.

I’m not talking pagan here (see Pagan Festivals). Rituals are little routines that you and your partner do together. Whether it’s Wednesday night take away night or staying in bed till late Sunday these routines allow you spend quality time together and bring your closer together.

We all need support at times, whether we like to admit it or not. There will be hard times when you need support in a variety of senses: beit emotional stress, financial stress, ill health, etc. You need to realise when your partner needs support and he does you (this is made much easier with open, honest, clear communication).

Support can be offered in many ways. Being a sounding board for him, practical support (shopping for him during a stressful move), but even just being there with a calm stress-free energy can help.

So this is what I’ve learn’t. I hope it is useful for your relationship. And if your single – I hope it helps you when you meet someone.

Blog soon,


I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:

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The blood debate continues

By Gay, Health, Thinking3 Comments

I recently read this Pink News article entitled “Government defends ban on gay men giving blood”.

Ms Primarolo, the Minister of State for Public Health, said:

“Current policy excludes men who have ever had sex with men, whatever their sexual orientation, from blood donation.

“The United Kingdom adopts a highly precautionary approach to blood safety.

“The guiding principle is that if the best available evidence shows that there are reasonable grounds to believe that a course of action will improve the safety of the blood, this action should be taken.

“The Department is committed to regularly reviewing this evidence, and has asked its expert advisory committee on the Safety of Blood, Tissues and Organs to do this in 2009.”
(from: Pink News Last accessed: 12th February 09)

So let’s look at the debate For & Against


  • The National Blood Service (NBS) test the blood for HIV and other infections anyway.
  • There have been massive HIV education and safe sex initiatives nationally aimed at the gay community generally as well as specific ones aimed at men who have sex with men. (This is easily visable if you walk in to any gay bar – all will have condoms.)
  • The evidence base that the National Blood Service (NBS) use to justify the ban is out of date. (If you email them – they will send you the related evidence.) In addition to this you can use evidence base to prove almost anything by selecting the evidence that demonstrates what you wish it too.
  • Recently HIV rates have increased and continue to do so in hetrosexuals (see Hetrosexual HIV Cases Show An Increase). Despite this they have not banned Hetrosexuals. This point justifies my next:
  • Hetrosexuals can be as sexually risky as men whom have sex with men.
  • Why a life time ban? What if you are a man that’s had sex with a man but had a HIV (and other STI’s tests) that have all come back negative. These men are still unable to give blood, even though they have been screened as negative (and may not have had sex since).
  • Equality. The Goods and Services Legislation (2007) state that people should not be excluded from services because of their sexual orintation. The NBS is a service and is excluding men that have sex with men (of which a large proporation identify as gay or bisexual) because of the very fact of their sexual orintation.
  • The final reason relates to the fact that there is a storage of blood donors and blood. The NBS is excluding a whole community of people when there is a shortage of both donors and blood. This doesn’t make sense to me. I mean they test the blood (and/or it’s components) anyway.
  • Against

  • The safety of the blood. Men who have sex with men are at a higher risk of HIV infection.
  • Men who have sex with men are a minority group. A much smaller community than the mainstream community. Therefore the HIV transmittion is likely to spread through a smaller community quicker as men are more likely to come in to contact with a HIV positive person.
  • Thinking about it I think the NBS are hiding behind the “safety of the blood” statement. They refuse to recognise that as men who have sex with men are a smaller group and as such their rates of HIV transmittion are always going to be higher than that of a much larger community.

    Interesting linka:
    Facts missing in HIV-blood debate
    NBS – Position Statement
    PETER TATCHELL says the ban on gay blood donors is based on homophobic myths that stereotype and demonise gay men.
    NUS – LGBT Donation not discrimination
    My Telegraph – Mike Rouse

    The last link My Telegraph – Mike Rouse, relates to a online petition to the Prime Ministers No. 10 site that I signed (see No. 10 Petitions). A total of 5,234 signatures signed the petition at the time. But I think we didn’t have a massive response as many people in the hetrosexual world are totally unaware of this ban.

    This post demonstrates that there aren’t many reasons against why men who have sex with men giving blood, yet there are many reasons for men who have sex with men to give blood.

    Just food for thought,


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