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Feeling Devastated. Plenty of Questions & Worries, But Not Many Answers

By Health, LifeNo Comments

I’ve had time to reflect on my recent health consultations (see The ENT Specialists) and I can honestly say that I’m feeling devastated.

I knew the hole in my septum had gotten bigger, but seeing the state of the inside of my nose on a monitor attached to a camera on a flexible cable really traumatised me. I have plenty of health-related worries right now including:

  • Do I have vasculitis and if so, what does this mean for me in the long term? Vasculitis is a very rare condition.
  • If its not vasculitis, then what is the cause of this extensive nasal destruction?
  • What will the biopsies show? Could it be Cancer?
  • They want to operate urgently in the next two weeks. What is going through the mind of my ENT Consultant?
  • What has caused a small hole in my septum to lead to complete septum destruction in around 4 months?
  • Will the pain ever be resolved? Or is this it now? Chronic long term pain.
  • Could other symptoms such as fatigue, a psoriasis-like rash on my elbows, difficulty standing for short periods, right hip/knee pain and difficulty sleeping through the night (insomnia) be related to my nasal passage problems?
  • How will they decide to fix the problem? Is it even fixable?
  • How will all this impact on the management of my type 1 diabetes?
  • What other autoimmune diseases does this increase my risk of getting?
  • Is this related to that time I got pneumonia?
  • How will any or all of the above affect my life expectancy?
  • What does all this mean for returning to work and life?
  • Will I ever feel normal again, or is this the new normal?
  • Why did nobody ever tell me to go and get my constant blocked nose checked out? Would it have made any difference?
  • Why didn’t I get any ENT experience as a Student Nurse or in A&E. This would have at least given me some clinical experience in the area?
  • Why did I decide that my constant blocked nose was because of developing an allergy to my two gorgeous cats?
  • Will I ever be able to smell normally again? At the moment, I can’t usually smell anything, unless I try and it is particularly strong. Sometimes, I smell what smells like rotting flesh.
  • Why is the waiting list so long to seen ENT? Ear, nose and throat systems are vital to health and wellbeing.
  • And more questions continue to fill my head on an hourly basis.

I have plenty of questions right now, but not a lot of answers. It’s the not knowing that causes the most anxiety.

Best Wishes,

Antony

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Childhood Pictures

By Friends & Family, Happiness & Joy, LifeNo Comments

Today, Mum & I have been going through pictures from my childhood and she has been telling me about my great grandparents on her side. It was my privilege and honour to do this. I’m going back tomorrow to finish off the job (there was a lot of photos), so consider this potentially part one of two. I had a wonderful, magical and joyful childhood. Thank you mum.

Here is the gallery:

Blog soon,

Antony

Edited: 1st April 2024 – Added further childhood photos to the gallery.

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More Barks, Herbs & Roots

By Life, Nature, Paganism, ThinkingNo Comments

Following on from my post Incorporating Flowers, Herbs, Resins, Roots & Barks into My Witchcraft Thanks to The Lancashire Witch, I’ve added more barks, herbs and roots to my collection. Here they are with their magical/spiritual uses:

  • Cinnamon (Sticks) – Money/Wealth, Love/Lust & Strength.
  • Palo Santo (Grated Bark) – Cleansing, Good Luck & Removes Obstacles.
  • Palo Santo (Sticks) – Cleansing, Good Luck & Removes Obstacles.
  • Rice – Abundance, Wealth & Fertility.

Images of Palo Santo:

Palo Santo Sticks
Palo Santo (Grated)

Here is the complete list (so far) of Barks, Herbs, Resins and Roots, along with their magical uses:

  • Aniseed – Protection, Astral Travel, Psychic Abilities, Road Opener.
  • Bay Leaves – Money, Abundance, Success, Love & Healing. Wish Magic & Money.
  • Burdock Root – Strength, Cleansing & Protection.
  • Calendula – Happiness & Joy, Healing, Divination.
  • Carnation Flowers – Healing, Courage & Bravery. Love.
  • Chamomile – Road Opener, Promotes Good Sleep & Reduces Anxiety.
  • Chili – Magical Booster, Passion & Lust.
  • Cinnamon (Sticks) – Money/Wealth, Love/Lust & Strength.
  • Coconut – Healing, Protection & Fertility.
  • Eucalyptus – Clarity, Healing & Cleansing.
  • Fennel Seeds – Fertility, Healing & Love.
  • Ginger (Ground) – Magical Boost, Passion & Protection. Speeds Up Magic.
  • Jasmine – Reduces Anxiety, Aids Relaxation & Money Magic.
  • Mistletoe – Good Luck, Wealth & Fertility.
  • Oak Bark – Success, Stability & Strength.
  • Orange Slices (Dried) – Happiness, Friendship & Prosperity. Clarity & Focus.
  • Palo Santo (Grated Bark) – Cleansing, Good Luck & Removes Obstacles.
  • Palo Santo (Sticks) – Cleansing, Good Luck & Removes Obstacles.
  • Rice – Abundance, Wealth & Fertility.
  • Rose – Love (Romantic or Self-Love), Healing & Beauty.
  • Rosemary – Wisdom, Love & Aids Sleep.
  • Sage – Home Blessing, Longevity & Wisdom.
  • Sandalwood -Dispels Negative Energy, Wishes & Peace.
  • Star Anise – Protection, Good Luck & Psychic Abilities.
  • Thyme – Healing, Good Sleep & Bravery.
  • Valerian – Improving Relationships, Protection & Peace. Return to Sender Magic.
  • Yarrow – Cleansing, Love & Healing.

Blog soon,

Antony

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An NHS Consultation Appointment & Sick Pay

By Health, Life, Money / Finances, PaganismNo Comments

70 Weeks. That what the current waiting time is for the Ear, Nose & Throat Department is in the NHS near me. I’m managed to secure a much earlier appointment than this, which is in April 2024. But unfortunately this does mean that I’ll be off work for at least another couple of months and will go down to sick pay.

Everyone lives to their means. With no savings to fall back on (and even if I did, they would be unlikely to cover the amount of lost income), I’ve had to contact my creditors and explain the situation. I’ve also had to get creative about bringing in income.

So I’ve decided, mostly out of desperation, to sell my Witchy Services online on Etsy. Now, if you want to learn how to cast Spells for yourself and see some superb examples of Spells checkout SpellCast: Folk Magic for the 21st Century that Luna Hare and I co-authored. But if you’d like a Gay Tarot reading, General Tarot reading or a Spell cast by my good self (an Eclectic Witch with over two decades of experience) see the items below currently available to buy on my Etsy shop:

LGB/Gay Tarot Reading
4 Cards, £3.60

12 Month Tarot Reading
12 Cards, £12.00

Custom Spell Cast
Spell Cast, £16.80

Road Opener Spell Cast
Spell Cast, £30.00

Any and all enquires relating to my Witchy Services are welcome. You can contact me here.

Best Wishes,

Antony

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