Skip to main content
Category

Life

Two Change Theories – The Cycle of Change by Prochaska and DiClemente & The Three Stages of Change by Lewin

By Thinking, LifeNo Comments
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone and everything changes. As the Greek Philosopher, Heraclitus of Ephesus once said:

Change is the only constant in life.

Understanding how change happens is key to changing any of your thought patterns, emotions or behaviours. It is also key to changing the thought patterns, emotions or behaviours of others.

Here I present two of my favourite change theories:

The Cycle of Change by Prochaska and DiClemente

Click on the image above for full size image.

The Cycle of Change was developed by Prochaska and DiClemente in the 1980s looking at how smokers in America stopped smoking.

Prochaska and DiClemente identified that change happens in distinct stages and that these stages can be considered a cycle. They created a diagram to demonstrate this cycle, which I have recreated on the left.

Here is a more information about each stage:

1. Precontemplation
Precontemplation is the first stage in the Cycle of Change. If you are in this stage of change you don’t have any desire or thoughts around changing any of your thought or behavioural patterns.

2. Contemplation
In the contemplation stage you will be thinking about changing either a single thought or behavioural pattern or any number of them. You will be considering the good and bad aspects of the patterns. You will be thinking about how you could change the patterns and the impact you expect changes would have on you and others.

By the time you reach the end of the contemplation stage, you have made the decision to either change or not.

If you have decided to change, you progress to the next stage.

If you have decided not to change your behaviour then you go back to the precontemplative stage.

Some people can get stuck in the contemplation stage for a long time. Always try to be aware of which stage of change you are in and how long you have been there. This will prevent you from getting stuck in any stage of the change process for a prolonged period of time.

3. Preparation
The preparation stage is all about planning to make the change to your thought or behavioural patterns. You will begin to take some actions for the change you want, such as setting goals, making a plan, etc.

For example, say you wanted to change the amount of physical activity you undertake, by increasing it. In this stage you may:

  • Join a gym.
  • Join a local sports club.
  • Plan a new routine which will give you more time for physical activity.
  • Recruit a friend who will also take part in some or all of your physical activities.

4. Action
The action stage is where you stop the old patterns of thoughts or behaviours and start the new patterns. This stage of change is hard and initially takes a lot of conscious effort, energy and motivation.

However with repetition and the passage of time, the new patterns of thoughts or behaviours become easier, take less conscious effort, energy and motivation to complete.

5. Maintenance
In the maintenance stage, you maintain the new patterns of thoughts or behaviours by regular repetition. The aim is to make the new patterns become your new way of being and functioning.

Prochaska and DiClemente theorised that the maintenance stage takes 3-6 months to complete. After this time, what was once a change is the new normal for you.

Neuroscience suggests that it takes 3-6 months for neurons (brain cells) to reorganise and become fully established to support a new thought or behavioural pattern. This neuroscience idea is called Neuroplasticity. This means that neuroscience supports Prochaska and DiClemente’s theory that it takes 3-6 months for you to change thought or behavioural patterns.

Neuroscientists have discovered evidence to suggest that Neuroplasticity occurs throughout a person’s life. This means that no matter your stage of life or age, you can make changes to your thought or behavioural patterns at any time.

6. Lapse or Relapse
Prochaska and DiClemente described going back to old thoughts or behavioural patterns as an essential part of the process of how change happens.

They described a lapse as an event of going back to old thoughts or behavioural patterns for a short time, recognising that you have done this and still having a desire to change to the new patterns. In a lapse, you go back to the new thought or behavioural quickly.

Lapses are part of the process of change. A lapse can be a great learning opportunity for you. By reflecting on a lapse you can learn what triggered you to revert back to your old patterns and prevent it from happening again in the future. This can lead to your next attempt at change being more or completely successful.

Prochaska and DiClemente described a relapse as going back to the old thought or behavioural pattern in the longer term. The danger with a relapse is that you could lose your desire, energy or motivation for change and go back to the pre-contemplation stage of the cycle.

I give much more information, practical advice and tips for change in my book FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS:

The Three Stages of Change by Lewin

The Three Stages of Change by Lewin was developed in the 1940s. His theory consists of three distinct stages:

Both of these theories can help you change your thinking or behavioural patterns.

Write soon,

Antony

Share on Social Media:
Friday 15 May 2026

Why I Wrote FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS

By Happiness & Joy, Books & Authors, Creativity, Friends & Family, Health, LifeNo Comments
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Dearest Reader,

I recently released my latest book FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS. I wanted to share with you why I wrote it. To do so, I need to tell you part of my story. So, here goes:

Nearly 2 years ago now, after two years of being physically and mentally ill, I was diagnosed with Vasculitis.

Vasculitis is an autoimmune disease, where your immune system wrongly mistakes small blood vessels for foreign cells and attacks them. The vasculitis diagnosis came with a reduced average life expectancy.

The average life expectancy for someone with Vasculitis is 20 years from the point of diagnosis. This meant I had just 20 years of life left. I was 38 years old at the time of diagnosis.

This shortened life expectancy caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.

I have Type 1 Diabetes and was slightly overweight. My blood sugars were always too high. I had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I was on two different antidepressants and an antipsychotic medication. I didn’t have time, energy or motivation to exercise. I didn’t eat well or sleep well.

I was working in the National Health Service (NHS) as an Alcohol Specialist Nurse. I enjoyed my face to face work supporting people with addiction issues. But the ever increasing workload and other stressors made me unhappy at work.

My relationships with family or friends were good. Or at least, at the time, I thought so. I spent a lot of my time with family or friends trying to meet their expectations of me – to be entertaining and funny, to be there to support them in difficult times, to take care of them. This is what I thought a good relative or friend did.

I didn’t have a partner. I didn’t go out on dates. In truth, I’d given up on romantic love. I’d decided that I just wasn’t lucky in that department.

Despite being a Specialist Nurse on a decent salary, money was always tight. When I really thought about it: I was very unhappy. I felt like I was existing, rather than living.

I decided to use my own counselling skills developed in the 18+ years working with people with addiction issues to counsel myself. I decided to look at my entire life, every aspect of it, and ask myself: What would make you happier?Then I would make the necessary changes. It was a daunting task.

Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life. This involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.

Change is always uncomfortable and sometimes even difficult. Our brains like patterns of behaviour, they are key to our survival as a species. But patterns of behaviour are not key to a healthier and happier life.

So I got counselling. In my eyes, the Counsellor had two roles. The first was to ensure I kept being honest with myself. The second was to ensure that I made the changes that needed to be made.

I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes. After nearly two years of hard work, I can finally say that: I am the happiest I have ever been.

Transformation complete? No. True happiness is a constantly evolving and ever changing process. One that requires daily checking in with yourself, navigating through the challenges of life and continuous work to ensure you stay as healthy and happy as possible.

Take a moment to think about a time your past when you were truly happy. Imagine living every day with that same feeling of happiness. This is why I wrote FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS, because everyone deserves to live a happy life.

Take care,

Antony

Share on Social Media:
Saturday 25 April 2026

Year In Review: 2025 Blog Posts, 1 Article and 2 Books

By Life, Adventures, Amazon, Books & Authors, Creativity, Friends & Family, Gay, Happiness & Joy, Health, History, ThinkingNo Comments
Reading Time: 6 minutes

This year, I have written, edited and published 52 blog posts, 1 article and 2 books. Here are some of the best posts, information about the 1 article and 2 books, in case you missed them at the time they were originally published:

In January, I published The Heartbreaking Story of Matthew Shepard. The story of a young student who was tortured and then murdered for being gay in America.

The brutal murder of Matthew Shepard gained international news coverage at the time. I was reminded of his story because of Donald Trump’s targeting the LGBT community with his rhetoric.

In February, I published my Z-VIRUS Powers: Map of Anglesey. This post is about my Z-Virus Powers novel, a story about a zombie apocalypse where some kids develop supernatural powers.

The wonderful array of young characters (some with powers and some without) decide to go on a quest for the cure, after their powers that once aided survival are now becoming destructive.

In February, I also published my Health & Future Plans Update: A Dramatic Reduction in HbA1c thanks to Medtronic Insulin Pump. I shared my dramatic reduction in my HbA1c blood test result due to starting the Medtronic Insulin Pump. It really has been life changing.

I shared my future plans for the year, most of which I am proud to say happened.

This included my plans with family and friends. It also included my plans to release Z-Virus Monsters, the next novel/installment of my Z-Virus Series.

In March, I published my FREE article, Influential UK Gay Men. This was an article all about UK Gay Men I find to be influential in society.

Just some of the men included in this list were: Mark Ashton, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Everett, Paul O’Grady, Alan Turing.

There were many others, with the article dividing the gay men into categories.

I concluded by writing that there probably wouldn’t be a gay man who became Prime Minister of the UK in my lifetime, which I found sad.

In March, I published a post about Refreshing A Money Bowl, which was very popular. I also announced that I had secured a new job.

In April, I published a post titled: How Would You Survive A Zombie Apocalypse? It was a short blog post about the essential requirements for survival in a zombie apocalypse and was used to promote my two books: Z-Virus Powers and Z-Virus Monsters.

I also published a short blog post about the 10 Books I’ve Read That Have Stayed With Me. Each of these books has a special place in my heart. I linked previous reviews of these books in this post. Some of the books on this list include: Mum Can You Lend Me Twenty Quid? By Elizabeth Burton-Phillips, In His Secret Life by Mel Bossa, The Neuroscientist Who Lost Her Mind by Barbara K. Lipska and Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank.

In May, I rebranded My Royal Navy Friend book with a new title (Funny Emails To My Friend) and with a new book cover. I published a post about why I rebranded this book here.

The decision to rebrand the book was driven by feedback, suggesting that people assumed that My Royal Navy Friend was about the Royal Navy. The book was never about the Royal Navy.

My Royal Navy Friend was about maintaining a friendship with a friend who followed their life long dream of joining the Royal Navy through funny, entertaining and occasionally serious emails. So I rebranded, to better reflect what the book is about.

In June, I attended Leigh Book Fest, which was a huge success. I also attended an event a Middleton Library, where I donated some signed copies of my books to the library.

I published blog posts about the importance of Finding Joy and my new old car.

July seemed to be all about animals, in some form or other.

My bengal cat, Dylan, sadly had to be put to sleep.

I had a fantastic time visiting Blackpool Zoo, sharing plenty of photos in a blog post I published.

You can see other recent photos on my regularly updated Photos page here.

In August, I published a post sharing the incredible story of Jonas Salk. In The Story of Jonas Salk and The Polio Vaccine, I shared Salk’s story of the development of the Polio Vaccine.

What is inspirational about this man, is not just that he developed the polio vaccine. But that he chose not to patent it. This meant that anyone could reproduce the polio vaccine without any payment to Salk.

If Salk had patented his polio vaccine, it would have made him several billionaire dollars. But he chose not to and in doing so, helped it become more widely available to the whole of humanity.

In August, I posted a blog post titled: Unsafe Places to be a Gay Man, detailing the places it isn’t safe to be an out gay man in the world.

To balance the above blog post, I later published a blog post titled: Safer Places to Live for Gay Men. In this post, I focused on places that are safer, more accepting and with better legal rights and protections for gay men in the world.

Safer Places to Live for Gay Men is a blog post I am really proud of publishing. I hope gay men looking for places where they are safer and more accepted in the world find this post. I hope they find this well researched blog post useful.

In September, I shared photos and essential information related to two castles in South Wales, in my published blog post: South Wales Castles – Raglan Castle & White Castle.

I also published a blog post explaining that despite on-going treatment for Vasculitis, I am the happiest I have ever been.

In September, I published a post titled: The Power of the Subconscious Mind.

In this blog post, I explain what the subconscious mind is, how it operates, how it communicates with our conscious mind and how to heal a troubled, disturbed or traumatised subconscious.

I give ways to help heal the subconscious mind and explain that it takes both work and time.

But that the hard work is totally worth the benefits of healing the subconscious mind.

In October, I published a blog post about the dangers associated with Emotional Support from an AI (Artificial Intelligence) App.

Dangers included: No Empathy, False Connection, Emotional Dependence, Bad Advice, Can Reinforce Negative Thoughts/Feelings/Behaviours, No Safeguarding, Lack of Emotional Growth & Data Privacy Breeches.

Given the dangers, as a minimum this apps should be regulated, if not banned.

In October, I also published this blog post: Zack Polanski, The New Leader of The Green Party Is Someone I Would Like Add To My Influential Gay Men Article.

Zack has seemingly appeared from nowhere to become the leader of the Green Party. In this blog post, I state that I wish I’d have known about him when doing research for my Influential UK Gay Men article, so that he could have been included in it.

In the post, I discuss Zack’s appeal, share his story (as available online) and state that I may have been wrong about there not being an out gay man as Prime Minister of the UK in my lifetime. In fact, I hope that I am wrong.

So there you have it. My Year In Review: 2025. I wonder what 2026 will bring?

Write soon,

Antony

Share on Social Media:
Thursday 1 January 2026

The Happiest I Have Ever Been

By Creativity, Friends & Family, Gay, Health, Life, Love & Relationships, Money / Finances, Thinking2 Comments
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Just over a year ago, I felt numb and like I was coasting through life. I was existing, rather than living. I hadn’t been well for a while and had recently been diagnosed with vasculitis.

People with vasculitis have a significantly reduced life expectancy when compared to that of the average person. This diagnosis caused me to re-think every aspect of my life. It caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.

So then I started asking myself: What would make you happier? I had to look at everything: my health, my work, my relationships with others, my passions (including writing), my finances, my home life, my mental & emotional health.

It was a daunting task. Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.

Change is always hard. Our brains like patterns of behaviour. They are key to our survival as a species, but not key to a healthier and happier life.

So I got counselling. I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes: prioritising my health, changing jobs, working with others to improve relationships – resetting of expectations and putting in boundaries, getting back on the dating apps, working on a more balanced approach to pursuing my passions, reducing my financial outgoings were possible and trying harder to stick to a budget, getting rid of excess clutter at home and generally taking better care of my mental and emotional health.

None of it was easy. And I’m still not where I want to be. But I’m pleased to say my health has improved in some areas such as my diabetes management & mental health. I am also happier than I can ever remember being.

Write soon,

Antony

mental-health-wisdom-banner
Share on Social Media:
Sunday 14 September 2025
×