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1 Life Lesson I’ve Learned for Every Year of My Adult Life

By ThinkingNo Comments

Life is about growth through learning and experience. So here’s 1 lesson life has taught me for every year of my adult live:

Age 18 – The importance of good and lifelong friendships. What makes a good friend including care, kindness, a sense of humour and loyalty.

Age 19 – The importance of having joy in my life. Creating opportunities for joy, seeking it out and chasing it are all essential activities for me.

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Me on a thrown

Antony-Simpson-Writer

Me

Age 20 – That I’m never going to please everyone. Not everyone will like me or get me. That doesn’t mean I should stop trying. If I can make somebody laugh with a funny story or a joke, I’m going to do it. The smile or laughter is always worth it for me.

I just accept that not everyone is going to be pleased with what I do or don’t do. As long as I am happy with my intentions, actions and omissions, that’s good enough for me.

Age 21 – A diagnosis of a chronic illness (in my case type 1 diabetes) starts with grief. I mourned the loss of my working pancreas and cursed my faulty immune system.

Age 22 – Independence is extremely important to me. Getting my driving licence and being smothered in a relationship both helped me to realise this.

Age 23 – In the outside world many people are far to happy to psychologically tear strips off you. So inside your home should feel safe, full of compassion and be filled with a feeling of care. How I felt at home when I was younger and buying my own apartment helped me to realise this.

Age 24 – Sometimes I just have to do certain things, otherwise I’d always wonder What if?

Heartbreak sometimes heals with the passage of time. A lot of time. More than days, weeks or months. Years. Sometimes even longer than that.

Sometimes the heart doesn’t heal at all, it just scabs over like a scraped knee. Ready for you to pick at it or for something to come along and reopen the wound.

Age 25 – Not everyone gets to live a full and long life. This feels unfair. Life is precious.

The shock of an unexpected death is a thousand times worse than the grief of the loss. It is spiritually, mentally and emotionally exhausting. The disbelief that comes from the shock can last years and make it impossible to grief.

Age 26 – There’s something magic about new babies and they smell totally awesome.

Age 27 – The past is a nice place to visit, the future is a nice place to imagine, but you shouldn’t live in either of them. Live in the present.

Age 28 – The extreme highs and lows of mood I’ve had since my teenage years are not normal. Most people have a pretty stable mood.

Mood stabiliser and antidepressant medications saved more than just my mind, they saved my life.

Age 29 – Travel broadens my mind, fills my heart with goodness and strengthens my soul. If you have the opportunity to travel do. I learned this through visiting India, which has a special place in my heart.

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Me with the Taj Mahal in the background (2).

Age 30 – Creativity enriches every aspect of myself. Stories (written, films, etc.) ignite my imagination and develop my empathy. Art and sculptures help me appreciate the beauty that the creators saw in the world around them or in their mind. Music helps me to feel and gives me the opportunity to dance.

To create something, whatever it is, is a learning process. Sometimes creative projects go well, other times not. But I always learn things from them. The process of creating something makes me feel alive and all lit up – even if it’s just a blog post like this one.

To share something I’ve created with the world makes me super-anxious. But when somebody tells me that my creative project has had some sort emotional resonance with them it becomes a privilege.

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Soulmates (Short Story)

The Finished Product: My homemade candles look great (1).

The Finished Product: Just 1 of the 22 completed (unlit).

The Good Teen (Short Story)

Age 31 – When you do something you love for a job, it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like a vocation and a passion.

Write soon,

Antony

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15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe

By HealthNo Comments

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Here are 15 lies that depression would have you believe:

15. That it is bigger than you.
It’s not. It just makes you think this so that it can keep in control of you.

14. That it would be better if you never left your bed/room/house again.
It wouldn’t. You have so much to offer the world and you would miss out on so much if you never moved again. On days you feel like this practice self-compassion. Be kind but firm with yourself. Set yourself a small achievable goal. Force yourself into action to achieve this goal. Achieving a goal, no matter how small the goal is, will help you to feel better.

13. That you’re a failure.
Firstly you can’t be a failure. Failure only comes by attempting to do or achieve things. Failure is no bad thing – you learn more through failure than you do success. Don’t believe me? watch this TED video where J.K. Rowling talks about the benefits of failure.

Depression likes to magnify experiences in your mind. It focuses on only the negative aspects of an experience. Most experiences are a mix of positives and negatives. Try to put experiences into perspective. Examine the positives. Try to practice balanced thinking and self-compassion.

12. That you’ll never laugh again.
You will and often. People can and do recover from depression. Feeling okay doesn’t mean that you’re in recovery, starting to feel good again does. If you’re just feeling okay, go back and see your GP.

In recovery you will start to experience a number of long lost emotions such as happiness, joy and elation. When you do, greet them as old friends and experience them fully.

11. That being physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted is a normal state of being.
It isn’t. You might be sleeping for 18 hours and wake up still exhausted or you might be suffering with insomnia. But people usually have a stable amount of energy throughout the day and should sleep for a recommended 8 hours.

Depression is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting, but if you go to your GP and get the right treatment (see my blog post on treatment options for more details) things will improve.

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10. That you’re pathetic. That you have no right to feel the way you do. That you are a disappointment to all that know you.
Shame and guilt are two emotions that depression uses to try and control you. Let go of any shame and guilt you feel. Accept how you feel now and know that it is temporary, almost fleeting compared with you life. Be confident knowing that how you feel now will change with the passage of time.

9. That the physical, mental and emotional pain you feel is all that there is.
There’s more to life pain. There’s care, love, happiness, joy and so much more. Just hold on. You have experienced the more-than-pain emotions before and you will again.

8. That you can’t do anything right or well enough.
My mum has lots of wisdom. She once said that all anyone can ask is that you try your best. Remember these words.

Remember that depression likes to magnify failures and things that didn’t go as well as you hoped. On days when you feel like this, practice self-compassion, use balanced thinking and try to put things into perspective. What where your intentions? Did you kill anybody? No? Well then, it’s not the end of the world.

7. That you are worthless.
You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly the same as you and there never will be. You are priceless and beyond value measures. Don’t listen to this lie, instead remind yourself that you are special and remind yourself what makes you, you.

6. That you’re going mad, mental or loosing your mind.
No you’re not. Your brain is just overwhelmed with cortisol – the stress hormone at the moment. Take a break and stop doing anything that you don’t need to. Practice relaxation techniques and be kind to yourself.

Remember that among the great and the good are people who’ve experienced depression. Even at the height of their success.

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5. That everything is too much effort. That just getting up and out of bed is too exhausting.
Set yourself a small goal each day and try your best to achieve it. The goal might be as tiny as having a bath, calling someone for a quick chat, changing your bedding or going for a short walk.

Despite how you feel, get yourself to your GP and get treatment. If this seems too ginormous of a task, break it up into smaller steps. Ask family members or friends to help you to do this.

4. That your soul or higher self is being destroyed.
Your soul or higher self has survived several lifetimes and the accompanying reincarnation processes. It can and will survive depression. Depression is tiny and insignificant in comparison to the challenges your soul or higher self has already experienced.

3. That everything is hopeless.
You may feel this way, but it is not and will never be hopeless. According to The Royal College of Psychiatrists people can and do fully recover from depression.

2. That life isn’t worth living.
Here’s a plea from the heart: darling you might feel this way now, but how you feel will change. If you are feeling suicidal please visit your nearest A&E Department for crisis support.

1. That you’ll never be happy again.
You will. It will just take the right treatment and time.

A Depression Self-help Guide
Whilst doing research for this blog post, I found this brilliant Depression Moodjuice Self-help Guide by Paul Gilbert online. This doesn’t replace treatment, but will give you some tools to help yourself.

Not sure if you have depression?
Here is a depression self-assessment tool from NHS Choices website:

Click here to display content from media.nhschoices.nhs.uk


content provided by NHS Choices

Blog soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Some Hopefully Inspirational Quotes from Yours Truly

By Happiness & Joy, Inspiration, ThinkingNo Comments

This is the sixth and final in a series of inspirational quotes blog posts. The first was 14 Inspirational Quotes on Gay People, the second was 14 Inspirational Quotes on Love, the third was 10 Inspirational Quotes on Self-love, the forth was 13 Inspirational Quotes on Friendship and fifth was 16 Inspirational Quotes on Life.

Here’s some hopefully inspirational quotes from yours truly:

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Some Hopefully Inspirational Quotes from Yours Truly (Antony Simpson)

And here’s a lovely quote to finish this blog post series on:

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” – William Shakespeare

Blog soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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My India Adventure (Part 8) – The Sun Tattoo, Goodbyes & The Journey Home

By Adventures, Happiness & Joy, Inspiration, Nature, Paganism, TravelNo Comments
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Sun Wall Plaque.

I’d been thinking about getting a tattoo for sometime. I just couldn’t decide what or where. I knew it would be a permanent feature on my body, so didn’t want rush into anything.

Earlier in the week Eddie and I had gone shopping (see My India Adventure (Part 3) – Shopping in Delhi) and I had bought this sun wall plaque (photo left) as a gift for someone. As the week went by, I decided I liked the plaque too much to give it away and decided to keep it.

Then an idea popped into my head: Why don’t I get a tattoo like the sun plaque? So on the afternoon of my last full day in Delhi, I had it done. Here’s some photos of me being tattooed:

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Me being Tattooed.

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The finished Sun Tattoo – it looks superb, I couldn’t be happier with it.

Eddie came with me to get the tattoo done. It’s three inches by three inches squared. It was done by a Tattoo Artist at the Tattoo Work Shop in Connaught Place, Delhi, India. The Tattoo Work Shop was clean (all needles were single use and in date) and they showed me a portfolio of tattoos they’d done before.

The sun for my symbolises many things. I am a sun-worshiper in every sense of the word. Literally, pagans worship the sun. Figuratively, the sun makes me feel alive and energised. My sun tattoo symbolises my adventure in India, as well as my upbeat personality with the happiness and joy I hope to bring into people’s lives.

Eddie suggested the location of the tattoo placement on my back. I left the tattoo parlour pleased with the tattoo and with no regrets about having it done. My only slight disappointment is that where I had sunburned skin the tattoo’s colour has faded a little as it’s healed. Still, I can have it touched up.

That evening Robert, Michael and I had a farewell meal with Neha’s family. I presented Neha’s parents with a gift of a sun-shaped wall mirror to thank them for having me to stay and for treating me so well. We had a lovely meal, said our goodbyes and then headed back to the guesthouse. The flight was an early one.

At the guest house, Eddie called me. He wanted to see me last time, before my departure. I explained that I hadn’t even packed yet and that he wouldn’t get much sleep. But he insisted and I’m so glad he did.

The next day, Eddie waved me off as I got into a car to the airport with Robert and Michael. Neha would be flying over to Robert the following week.

The British Airways flight was relaxed and easy. Once at Heathrow Airport, London, Robert, Michael and I said our goodbyes and headed off in our own directions all destined for our own homes.

The luggage collection and immigration passport controls hadn’t taken had long as I had expected. So it turned out that I would have a long wait for my pre-booked Megabus journey. Plus the Megabus would only get me into Manchester six minutes before the last train home, which was risking it. So at the airport I spent a bit of money and booked myself on an earlier National Express coach.

I set off on the London Underground to Victoria Coach Station. From there I caught the coach and arrived in Manchester over an hour earlier that I had originally expected to. I got an earlier train for the final leg of my journey, meaning that I got home an hour earlier. I was glad to be home, tired after a busy but exciting week and worn out by the journey.

But I’m already excited for my next trip to India.

This is the final part in my series of blog posts about my India Adventure. Here is a list of the other posts in chronological order: My India Adventure (Part 1) – The Journey, First Impressions of Delhi, The Guest House & The Family, My India Adventure (Part 2) – The Wedding, My India Adventure (Part 3) – Shopping in Delhi, My India Adventure (Part 4) – Delicious Food, My India Adventure (Part 5) – Gandhi’s Grave & India Gate & My India Adventure (Part 6) – The Taj Mahal

Blog soon,

Antony

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