My Royal Navy Friend: Week 12 – How to Fight a Shark “This chapter is Hilarious!”
By AntonyAmazon, Books & Authors, Creativity, Happiness & JoyNo CommentsFrom my recent book: My Royal Navy Friend, another friend insisted this was hilarious and that I share it with you. So here goes:
Hey Roy,
Picture the scene, you’re on a ship but forced to jump into the cold ocean waters as it’s sinking. It isn’t long before you attract some unwanted attention. Sharks. They begin circling you and you know it won’t be long before you have to fight for your life.
Here’s my survival guide to this scenario:
- Identify the type of sharks circling you. I’m sad to say that most sharks are carnivorous and would seek to gobble you up. However bonnethead sharks are vegetarian for 62% of the time, eating seagrass.
- Don’t play dead. Sharks are smart and will know you are faking it. They’re also not opposed to eating dead humans.
- Remain calm, keep eyes on them at all times and make sudden sporadic movements in an attempt to scare the sharks.
- Look around for any weapons or things that could be used as weapons. Use whatever you find in your battle with the sharks.
- If it’s hand to fin battle, focus your attention on the vulnerable parts of the sharks: their eyes, noses and gills. Avoid the mouth at all costs due to the sharp teeth.
- I once heard a story of a man who was attacked by a shark and successfully fended it off by punching it in the nose. I don’t know how true this story is. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so definitely worth a try.
- If you see a dolphin or a pod of dolphins call on them for help. They generally like humans and sharks are apparently afraid of them.
- Don’t under any circumstances try to swim away. Sharks will see this as a sign of weakness and besides which, they can swim quicker than you. So trying to swim away would be a pointless waste of energy.
- If all else fails, try to reason with the sharks. Explain to them the reasons they shouldn’t eat you. You could even tell them jokes or sing them a song in exchange for sparing your life.
That’s it for this week.
Big Hugs,
Antony
Royal Navy Fact:
The Royal Navy is responsible for the Continuous At Sea Deterrent (CASD). The CASD is also known as the nuclear deterrent. This is a series of submarines equipped with nuclear Trident II missiles.
Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong – OUT NOW!
By AntonyAmazon, Books & Authors, Creativity, Happiness & JoyNo CommentsDue to a slight error on Amazon, Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong is out now! I am proud to announce the release of this. my fifth book:
Blog soon,
Antony
Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong – Release Date
By AntonyAmazon, Books & Authors, Creativity, Education, Happiness & Joy, HealthNo CommentsI am pleased to announce my latest book Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong is due for release on 01/04/2024. Here is the book blurb:
Are you a Doctor, Nurse, Healthcare Assistant or Other Healthcare Professional? Or a Student?
Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong covers every system of the body, what can go wrong when the body malfunctions or fails, symptoms (including
why these happen) and cures/treatments available.
It includes knowledge around essential skills for Clinical Excellence: * Assessment * All Age Observational Norms * Models of Care * Communication/Handover Tips * The role of Specialities * Medication Tips * Dealing with Errors * Documentation Advice * A list of Useful Resources
It is written in plain English, but highlights important medical terminology. It has been written at a level where someone from a non-medical background can pick it up and learn, but that it is still valuable to those with significant Clinical Experience.
It is ideal for any Healthcare Professional of any level of experience; from Student to Chief Medical Officer/Chief Nurse.
About Antony Simpson:
Antony Simpson a Registered Nurse with experience working in a range of settings including Accident & Emergency and who has been a Registered Nurse for over 15 years. The author is passionate about teaching how the body works, what can go wrong and how best to cure/treat these malfunctions/failures.
Available Formats: Hardcover / Paperback / Kindle eBook
Platform: Amazon Internationally & Available to order at all good bookshops.
Price: £15.99 (Hardcover) / £10.25 (Paperback) / £1.99 (Kindle eBook)
Write soon,
Antony
About
The personal blog of a gay and pagan man living in the UK. Author of five books:
Ways The Human Can Go Wrong
Are you a Doctor, Nurse, Healthcare Assistant or Other Healthcare Professional? Or a Student?
Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong covers every system of the body, what can go wrong when the body malfunctions or fails, symptoms (including why these happen) and cures/treatments available.
It includes knowledge around essential skills for Clinical Excellence such as Assessment, All Age Observational Norms, Models of Care, Communication/Handover Tips, the role of Specialities, Medication Tips, Dealing with Errors, Documentation Advice and a list of Useful Resources.
It is written in plain English, but highlights important medical terminology. It has been written at a level where someone from a non-medical background can pick it up and learn, but that it is still valuable to those with significant Clinical Experience.
My Royal Navy Friend
My dear friend Roy decided to follow in his family’s footsteps and enlist in the Royal Navy.
I wanted to maintain our friendship, to continue to support Roy, to make him laugh and to entertain him. So I came up with the idea of sending him a weekly email on random topics.
These emails were on a variety of topics, always being entertaining, sometimes being interesting, sometimes funny and occasionally being serious.
Topics included: Jokes, Puzzles, Inspirational Quotes, Future Technology to Be Excited About, How to Fight A Shark, How to Woo A Turtle, Some of the Most Amazing Jobs in the World, Facts About Castles, Do Aliens Exist?, The Kindest Humans, A List of Cakes, 13 Weird Body Facts, 20 Super Space Facts, Ancient Egyptian Curses, 10 Weird Olympic Games, The Great Emu War of 1932, Quiz: Flags of the World, Legendary Characters from the UK and others.
My Royal Navy Friend is a copy of these emails. In total, there are 52 emails. Dispersed throughout the book are also Royal Navy facts and stories.
The Alcohol Therapy Workbook
This workbook has been designed for anyone that is struggling with alcohol or has struggled with alcohol in the past.
It is written in a Motivational Interviewing style, one of the key therapies used to support people with alcohol issues. It has been designed using a trauma-informed approach and is strength–based.
What you will find in this book is more than just worksheets about alcohol. You’ll find all the tools someone needs to get into recovery from alcohol and stay there. It’s a therapy-based book, not an alcohol-based book.
SpellCast
SpellCast is a comprehensive compendium of spells, oils, charms and talismans. It is purely a book about magic, folk magic for the 21st century. The spells are ones that are tried and tested, with some that will stand the test of time.
In SpellCast you will read about the power of Instant Magic, of Banishment & Bindings, Blessings, Cleansing, Communication, Death, Employment, Finance & Money, Fertility, Friendship, Happiness & Joy, Health, Love & Relationships, Luck Magic, Protection, Transformative Magic and WishCraft.
This book will change your life. Your life will be abundant in all meanings of the word.
Mental Health Wisdom
This book contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom
Mental Health Wisdom contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
If you find my blog educational or entertaining, please consider making a purchase or donation on Ko-Fi.
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A great introductory article on candle magic :)
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