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15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Here are 15 lies that depression would have you believe:

15. That it is bigger than you.

It’s not. It just makes you think this so that it can keep in control of you.

14. That it would be better if you never left your bed/room/house again.

It wouldn’t. You have so much to offer the world and you would miss out on so much if you never moved again. On days you feel like this practice self-compassion. Be kind but firm with yourself. Set yourself a small achievable goal. Force yourself into action to achieve this goal. Achieving a goal, no matter how small the goal is, will help you to feel better.

13. That you’re a failure.

Firstly you can’t be a failure. Failure only comes by attempting to do or achieve things. Failure is no bad thing – you learn more through failure than you do success. Don’t believe me? watch this TED video where J.K. Rowling talks about the benefits of failure.

Depression likes to magnify experiences in your mind. It focuses on only the negative aspects of an experience. Most experiences are a mix of positives and negatives. Try to put experiences into perspective. Examine the positives. Try to practice balanced thinking and self-compassion.

12. That you’ll never laugh again.

You will and often. People can and do recover from depression. Feeling okay doesn’t mean that you’re in recovery, starting to feel good again does. If you’re just feeling okay, go back and see your GP.

In recovery you will start to experience a number of long lost emotions such as happiness, joy and elation. When you do, greet them as old friends and experience them fully.

11. That being physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted is a normal state of being.

It isn’t. You might be sleeping for 18 hours and wake up still exhausted or you might be suffering with insomnia. But people usually have a stable amount of energy throughout the day and should sleep for a recommended 8 hours.

Depression is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting, but if you go to your GP and get the right treatment (see my blog post on treatment options for more details) things will improve.

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10. That you’re pathetic. That you have no right to feel the way you do. That you are a disappointment to all that know you.

Shame and guilt are two emotions that depression uses to try and control you. Let go of any shame and guilt you feel. Accept how you feel now and know that it is temporary, almost fleeting compared with you life. Be confident knowing that how you feel now will change with the passage of time.

9. That the physical, mental and emotional pain you feel is all that there is.

There’s more to life pain. There’s care, love, happiness, joy and so much more. Just hold on. You have experienced the more-than-pain emotions before and you will again.

8. That you can’t do anything right or well enough.

My mum has lots of wisdom. She once said that all anyone can ask is that you try your best. Remember these words.

Remember that depression likes to magnify failures and things that didn’t go as well as you hoped. On days when you feel like this, practice self-compassion, use balanced thinking and try to put things into perspective. What where your intentions? Did you kill anybody? No? Well then, it’s not the end of the world.

7. That you are worthless.

You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly the same as you and there never will be. You are priceless and beyond value measures. Don’t listen to this lie, instead remind yourself that you are special and remind yourself what makes you, you.

6. That you’re going mad, mental or loosing your mind.

No you’re not. Your brain is just overwhelmed with cortisol – the stress hormone at the moment. Take a break and stop doing anything that you don’t need to. Practice relaxation techniques and be kind to yourself.

Remember that among the great and the good are people who’ve experienced depression. Even at the height of their success.

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5. That everything is too much effort. That just getting up and out of bed is too exhausting.

Set yourself a small goal each day and try your best to achieve it. The goal might be as tiny as having a bath, calling someone for a quick chat, changing your bedding or going for a short walk.

Despite how you feel, get yourself to your GP and get treatment. If this seems too ginormous of a task, break it up into smaller steps. Ask family members or friends to help you to do this.

4. That your soul or higher self is being destroyed.

Your soul or higher self has survived several lifetimes and the accompanying reincarnation processes. It can and will survive depression. Depression is tiny and insignificant in comparison to the challenges your soul or higher self has already experienced.

3. That everything is hopeless.

You may feel this way, but it is not and will never be hopeless. According to The Royal College of Psychiatrists people can and do fully recover from depression.

2. That life isn’t worth living.

Here’s a plea from the heart: darling you might feel this way now, but how you feel will change. If you are feeling suicidal please visit your nearest A&E Department for crisis support.

Support

I recognise that people visiting this page/post might want to know where they can get support.
If you require support around your mental health, addiction or physical health, see this Support page here.

1. That you’ll never be happy again.

You will. It will just take the right treatment and time.

A Depression Self-help Guide

Whilst doing research for this blog post, I found this brilliant Depression Moodjuice Self-help Guide by Paul Gilbert online. This doesn’t replace treatment, but will give you some tools to help yourself.

Other Content

If you liked this post, you might like my All Mental Health Content page.

Blog soon,

Antony

Support

I recognise that people visiting this page/post might want to know where they can get support.
If you require support around your mental health, addiction or physical health, see this Support page here.

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My Thirtieth Birthday

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Yesterday I Became:

Thirty years old. It was a busy day with many highlights. My close family and I went out for a meal in my favourite restaurant Gallimore’s. I was so pleased that almost everyone could and did come. Here are photos of my cake and balloons:

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My 30th Birthday Cake: Minion Bob.
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My 30th Birthday Balloons.

Gallimore’s Fine Restaurant served sublime and tasty food and the service was excellent. My thanks to Gallimore’s for making my birthday even more special.

I was completely overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity from my family and friends on my birthday. I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the Facebook messages, the cards, the balloons, the gifts and the money from family and friends.

At the end of the month, some good friends and I are going to Chester Zoo to see the new Islands Exhibit.

Big birthdays always cause me to reflect on my life so far. I think about what I’ve done and not done. What I’ve experienced and haven’t experienced. I play what if scenarios out in my head for both the past and the future.

We are all a work in progress. We are constantly growing as we experience life and learn. I am proud of what I’ve achieved in life so far. I could list my achievements like overcoming adversity, becoming and being a good Nurse, being creative and my ongoing recovery from a mental health illness.

But the thing I’m most proud of is to have a wonderful loving family and a bunch great friends whom I would trust with my life.

Write soon,

Antony

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A Tale Of Overcoming Adversity

Reading Time: 3 minutes
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My new sun catcher.

I’ve wanted to write this post for a long time. I’ve started it countless times, looking at adversity from many different angles. In the end, I decided that the best way to express what I want to say about adversity and overcoming adversity is through a little tale.

Growing up I had difficulties with reading and writing because of Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. At sixteen years old, I had a reading and comprehension age of fourteen. I remember when I was younger, having to read paragraphs two or three times to get the meaning of the words. The thought of reading a book at this age, was like the thought of climbing a mountain.

I couldn’t write my name until I was ten years old. I understood what we were taught in classes, but just couldn’t write it down on paper in an organised and structured way. I got very good at talking and verbal presentation to compensate.

Fast forward to now. I have overcome adversity in relation to reading and writing. I’m always reading at least ten books at any one time. I read nineteen books last year (see Book List 2015) and I read twenty-eight books the year before that (see Book List 2014). I regularly get sent books by publisher’s publicists to read and review. Thankfully I no longer need to re-read paragraphs two or three times to understand them. I write creatively on a regular basis. I’ve recently published a short story entitled Soulmates and write for The Gay UK.

In addition to the above: I have done well academically. I have been to university twice and about to go back to university to complete a further module. I have gained a HE Diploma in Children’s Nursing and a Honours Degree in Nursing, graded at a 2:1.

The reading, the writing and the university wouldn’t have been possible without overcoming adversity. But what’s really interesting is that I’ve learned some fundamental things that were required in order for me to overcome adversity. These included:

  • Grit or determination. Not giving up. Continuing to read and write, even when I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall.
  • The support of others. My mum fought the education authorities to get the professional help I needed to learn to read and write. Teachers, Teaching Assistants and Volunteers all spent countless hours teaching me to read and understand what I was reading. My mum fought the health authorities to get the practical support from a brilliant and professional Occupational Therapist. And of course my mum helped and supported me in so many other ways: spending time reading with me, taking me to my Occupational Therapist appointments, just listening when I needed to vent my frustration, etc.
  • Practice. Repetition is the key to learning and the way of getting good at anything. Think of when you learned to ride a bike as a child.
  • Being driven by my love of literature. Even with my difficulties in reading and writing, I used to be captivated by the stories my mum would read to me at bedtime. By how words could ignite my imagination and make me feel very real emotions.
  • People having belief and faith that I could overcome my reading and writing difficulties. This includes both family and friends.
  • Believing in myself, or at least hoping that I could overcome these reading and writing difficulties.

I would imagine that these fundamental things are essential for anyone trying to overcome adversity. I wanted to share these thoughts, for anyone currently struggling with adversity. If you have overcome adversity, how did you do it? What did you need in order to overcome adversity? Leave a comment below.

Blog soon,

Antony

More Content From Antony

Here are the books that Antony has published:

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