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A General Life Update – June 2020

By Health, Life2 Comments

Hello Dear Readers,

How endless does this lockdown feel? It feels like it has gone on forever. It feels like the rules of lockdown have permeated every aspect of our lives. In some cases the rules feel like they have taken our old lives hostage. No longer can we take anything for granted. Not even the simplest of things like exchanging a hug with a loved one.

With experts are expecting a 2nd wave, it looks like the relaxation of lockdown maybe reversed. Possibly made even stricter.

With all this going on, it’s not surprising that for some, this has had a tole on their mental health. So I would like to remind you that you can purchase my book Mental Health Wisdom from Amazon for just £7.49 paperback (or £1.99 Kindle) here. It’s full of strategies to help people to deal with adversity and improve their mental health.

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Now let’s talk about me. It been a bit of a difficult time. First there was an international shortage of Depakote, one of the medications I take. So I had to switch to Epilim, basically the same thing but a different brand. However nobody at the Pharmacy or GP knew there was a shortage of Depakote, so it took nearly two weeks without any Depakote to get the Epilim prescribed and started. This led to manic and mixed moods.

But before this and underlying I had been struggling with depressive symptoms, that even the maximum dose of Venlafaxine wasn’t helping with. So my Consultant Psychiatrist has taken me off Quetiapine and started me on Mirtazapine.

I’ve never had this mix of medications before, so it is uncharted territory. We just have to keep trying until we get the right balance in my brain. Even though I know this, it is sometimes frustrating.

In other news my iMac (photo below) has died and gone to Apple heaven.

February Photo Challenge 10th
My iMac finally died.

It had been really slow for a while and since getting a laptop I haven’t used it that much; but it is still disappointing.

This week I’m off on annual leave. I’ve taken a few days to rest and recharge. Next I’ve got a few days seeing family and friends – social distancing. Then at the end of the week Steve and I are going to South Lakes Safari Zoo.

I’ll be sure to do a blog post about my visit to the Zoo. Blog soon,

Antony

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Wednesday 1 July 2020

My World Suicide Prevention Day 2019 – A Fifteen Day Stay in a Mental Health Ward

By HealthNo Comments
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I got admitted to a Mental Health Ward for a fifteen day stay on World Suicide Prevention Day 2019.

 On Tuesday 10th September 2019 it was World Suicide Prevention Day. It is organised by the International Association for Suicide Prevention and is supported by the World Health Organization. Suicide is a complex issue, but in many cases it can be prevented. Warning signs that someone is contemplating or planning suicide can include:

  • Talking about wanting to die, saying that they feel everything is pointless.
  • Talking about being in unbearable pain.
  • Lacking any apparent care for themselves. Having no plans and avoiding making plans for the future.
  • Having a diagnosed mental illness such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc.
  • Being anxious, irritable, angry or socially withdrawn.
  • Reporting difficulties with sleeping or sleeping for a large number of hours and still feeling exhausted.
  • Increase in alcohol or drug use.
  • Previous suicide attempts.
  • Giving away a lot of possessions.
  • Saying Goodbye to people, as if they will never see them again.

Back to me. I’d been struggling with my mental health for some time. My mood was (and still is at times) so low. I was/still am at times in a very dark place. Showing some of the warning signs above.

So I went to my GP. I was very honest about how I was feeling. My GP referred me to the Crisis Team for immediate assessment. After being assessed by them, I waited to be seen by the Home Treatment Team. I waited for what seemed like forever and just wanted to go home to bed. However I was warned that if I left the Police would be called to bring me back. I saw someone from the Home Treatment Team and in under 5 minutes she decided that I needed an admission to a Mental Health Ward.

15-day-stay-2019-1

A green observation light directly above my head in bed. Unable to be turned off and required for staff observations, it did not help me get to sleep or stay asleep.

I spent fifteen days mostly waiting on the ward. Waiting for the next meal, the next medication, the next time I would be reviewed by a doctor. There were activities, but I just wasn’t well enough to participate in them, especially at the start of my stay. My limited concentration span and extreme tiredness being restrictive.

The care that I received during my admission, as well as the care I observed other patients receive was quite frankly unsafe and caused physical, mental and emotional harm. There were some good aspects to the care – like that most of the staff were kind and compassionate. But these good aspects did not make up for the poorer aspects of care. I’m still not well, after a fifteen day admission they still haven’t managed to sort out my medication to fully balance my mood.

I plan to write an exposé report with the issues I experienced or observed other patients experience in relation to the care on the ward, along with suggestions on how they could improve the care given. This is a brave thing to do, especially as I will do it knowing I may end up requiring care on this ward again in the future. But as a Nurse I feel it is my duty to do so and that it would be unethical to say or do nothing.

So the update:

  • I’m now on 3 mood stablisers: Aripiprazole (External Link to HeadMeds) – new for me, Depakote (started on this earlier this year) and Quetiapine (put back on this).
  • My mood is good in the morning, but then crashes and is very low in the evening and at night.
  • I’m now struggling to remain asleep and often wake up wide awake several times in the early hours of the morning.
  • I’m seeing someone from the Recovery Team later this week and have already requested a medication review.
  • Steve, my mum and my sister-in-law to be have all been amazing.
  • Worryingly I still see the same warning signs that I was displaying before being admitted to hospital.

That was my World Suicide Prevention Day 2019 and what’s happened since. Take Care & Blog Soon,

Antony

P.S – Whilst researching more about World Suicide Prevention Day for this blog post, I came across this really good Infographic, that you might find useful to know about, by the Mental Health Foundation:

MHF-Infographic-WAIT-2019

Click for Full Size Image. Copyright © Mental Health Foundation, 2019.

P.P.S – A plug for my book:

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Friday 4 October 2019

Medication Changes: A really TOUGH time

By HealthNo Comments
Depakote-Box

From Quetiapine to Depakote.

 To lose control of your thoughts, moods and behaviours is a terrible thing. But that’s what its been like.

The Psychiatrist I’m seeing made the decision was made to switch my mood stabliser, from Quetiapine to Depakote. This was necessary as Quetiapine was no longer effective in managing my moods.

It has been a really TOUGH time. Much tougher than I ever thought it would be.

But I’m getting there. Slowly.

Hopefully normal service shall resume shortly.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Thursday 4 April 2019

Book Review: Depressive Illness – The Curse of the Strong by Dr Tim Cantopher

By Amazon, Books & Authors, Health, LifeNo Comments
depressive-illness-tim-cantopher-book-cover
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 Depressive Illness – The Curse of the Strong is a best selling book all about depression by Psychiatrist Dr Tim Cantopher. This book is outstanding.

Every aspect of the book has been created with a reader who is struggling with depression in mind.

This book is written as if the author is having a conversation with the reader.

The book is short, a total of 114 pages, as are the chapters, which is intentional as a symptom of depression is having a limited concentration span.

The short chapters mean that the book is easy to dip in and out of. Depressive Illness covers a lot and doesn’t waste a single word.

The book covers:

  • What depression really is and the historic diagnosis and treatment of depression.
  • What causes depression.
  • What the clinical research around depression says.
  • Managing and treatment options for depression.
  • Recovery and staying well in the future.
  • The politics of depression – why we as a society need to be more open, honest and have dialogue about it.

Cantopher’s believes that if you have done too much, been too strong and tried too hard for too long it will lead to clinical depression. This isn’t a failing in the person, in fact quite the opposite.

It’s a wonder that anyone can be so strong for so long. This approach is very empowering for the individual with depression and very true to real life. It is often those that just keep going, those that are there for everyone else who eventually burn out and find themselves in the unpleasant land of clinical depression.

I read this book during a severe episode of clinical depression and was able to do so, by using the chapters to do little and often.

Depressive Illness – The Curse of the Strong is an essential book around clinical depression and should be read by all those interested in mental health and mental illness. For health professionals – particularly in the mental health and illness field this book should be required reading.

Depressive Illness – The Curse of the Strong is available to buy on Amazon and able to be ordered at all good book shops.

Take care & blog soon,

Antony

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Sunday 27 January 2019