Last week was my 40th birthday. Just before my birthday, I’d had some good news about my vasculitis. My birthday celebrations were low-key this year, mum, papa and I went out for a meal, followed by unicorn cake.
I’m going to be honest, I never thought I’d make it to the BIG 4-0. But I am pleased that I have. I am as healthy as I can be (given my type 1 diabetes and vasculitis) and the happiest I have ever been.
My hope is that FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS leads readers to transform their lives, giving readers the knowledge and skills to lead a life filled with happiness and joy. The 167 page, full-colour book will take an average reader 5.5-7.5 hours to read.
Write soon,
Antony
More Content From Antony
Here are the books that Antony has published, click any cover to learn more:
I recently released my latest book FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS. I wanted to share with you why I wrote it. To do so, I need to tell you part of my story. So, here goes:
Nearly 2 years ago now, after two years of being physically and mentally ill, I was diagnosed with Vasculitis.
Vasculitis is an autoimmune disease, where your immune system wrongly mistakes small blood vessels for foreign cells and attacks them. The vasculitis diagnosis came with a reduced average life expectancy.
The average life expectancy for someone with Vasculitis is 20 years from the point of diagnosis. This meant I had just 20 years of life left. I was 38 years old at the time of diagnosis.
This shortened life expectancy caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.
I have Type 1 Diabetes and was slightly overweight. My blood sugars were always too high. I had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I was on two different antidepressants and an antipsychotic medication. I didn’t have time, energy or motivation to exercise. I didn’t eat well or sleep well.
I was working in the National Health Service (NHS) as an Alcohol Specialist Nurse. I enjoyed my face to face work supporting people with addiction issues. But the ever increasing workload and other stressors made me unhappy at work.
My relationships with family or friends were good. Or at least, at the time, I thought so. I spent a lot of my time with family or friends trying to meet their expectations of me – to be entertaining and funny, to be there to support them in difficult times, to take care of them. This is what I thought a good relative or friend did.
I didn’t have a partner. I didn’t go out on dates. In truth, I’d given up on romantic love. I’d decided that I just wasn’t lucky in that department.
Despite being a Specialist Nurse on a decent salary, money was always tight. When I really thought about it: I was very unhappy. I felt like I was existing, rather than living.
I decided to use my own counselling skills developed in the 18+ years working with people with addiction issues to counsel myself. I decided to look at my entire life, every aspect of it, and ask myself: What would make you happier?Then I would make the necessary changes. It was a daunting task.
Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life. This involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.
Change is always uncomfortable and sometimes even difficult. Our brains like patterns of behaviour, they are key to our survival as a species. But patterns of behaviour are not key to a healthier and happier life.
So I got counselling. In my eyes, the Counsellor had two roles. The first was to ensure I kept being honest with myself. The second was to ensure that I made the changes that needed to be made.
I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes. After nearly two years of hard work, I can finally say that: I am the happiest I have ever been.
Transformation complete? No. True happiness is a constantly evolving and ever changing process. One that requires daily checking in with yourself, navigating through the challenges of life and continuous work to ensure you stay as healthy and happy as possible.
Take a moment to think about a time your past when you were truly happy. Imagine living every day with that same feeling of happiness. This is why I wrote FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS, because everyone deserves to live a happy life.
This year, I have written, edited and published 52 blog posts, 1 article and 2 books. Here are some of the best posts, information about the 1 article and 2 books, in case you missed them at the time they were originally published:
The brutal murder of Matthew Shepard gained international news coverage at the time. I was reminded of his story because of Donald Trump’s targeting the LGBT community with his rhetoric.
In February, I published my Z-VIRUS Powers: Map of Anglesey. This post is about my Z-Virus Powers novel, a story about a zombie apocalypse where some kids develop supernatural powers.
The wonderful array of young characters (some with powers and some without) decide to go on a quest for the cure, after their powers that once aided survival are now becoming destructive.
The decision to rebrand the book was driven by feedback, suggesting that people assumed that My Royal Navy Friend was about the Royal Navy. The book was never about the Royal Navy.
My Royal Navy Friend was about maintaining a friendship with a friend who followed their life long dream of joining the Royal Navy through funny, entertaining and occasionally serious emails. So I rebranded, to better reflect what the book is about.
I had a fantastic time visiting Blackpool Zoo, sharing plenty of photos in a blog post I published.
You can see other recent photos on my regularly updated Photos page here.
In August, I published a post sharing the incredible story of Jonas Salk. In The Story of Jonas Salk and The Polio Vaccine, I shared Salk’s story of the development of the Polio Vaccine.
What is inspirational about this man, is not just that he developed the polio vaccine. But that he chose not to patent it. This meant that anyone could reproduce the polio vaccine without any payment to Salk.
If Salk had patented his polio vaccine, it would have made him several billionaire dollars. But he chose not to and in doing so, helped it become more widely available to the whole of humanity.
In August, I posted a blog post titled: Unsafe Places to be a Gay Man, detailing the places it isn’t safe to be an out gay man in the world.
To balance the above blog post, I later published a blog post titled: Safer Places to Live for Gay Men. In this post, I focused on places that are safer, more accepting and with better legal rights and protections for gay men in the world.
Safer Places to Live for Gay Men is a blog post I am really proud of publishing. I hope gay men looking for places where they are safer and more accepted in the world find this post. I hope they find this well researched blog post useful.
In this blog post, I explain what the subconscious mind is, how it operates, how it communicates with our conscious mind and how to heal a troubled, disturbed or traumatised subconscious.
I give ways to help heal the subconscious mind and explain that it takes both work and time.
But that the hard work is totally worth the benefits of healing the subconscious mind.
Dangers included: No Empathy, False Connection, Emotional Dependence, Bad Advice, Can Reinforce Negative Thoughts/Feelings/Behaviours, No Safeguarding, Lack of Emotional Growth & Data Privacy Breeches.
Given the dangers, as a minimum this apps should be regulated, if not banned.
Zack has seemingly appeared from nowhere to become the leader of the Green Party. In this blog post, I state that I wish I’d have known about him when doing research for my Influential UK Gay Men article, so that he could have been included in it.
In the post, I discuss Zack’s appeal, share his story (as available online) and state that I may have been wrong about there not being an out gay man as Prime Minister of the UK in my lifetime. In fact, I hope that I am wrong.
So there you have it. My Year In Review: 2025. I wonder what 2026 will bring?
Just over a year ago, I felt numb and like I was coasting through life. I was existing, rather than living. I hadn’t been well for a while and had recently been diagnosed with vasculitis.
People with vasculitis have a significantly reduced life expectancy when compared to that of the average person. This diagnosis caused me to re-think every aspect of my life. It caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.
So then I started asking myself: What would make you happier? I had to look at everything: my health, my work, my relationships with others, my passions (including writing), my finances, my home life, my mental & emotional health.
It was a daunting task. Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.
Change is always hard. Our brains like patterns of behaviour. They are key to our survival as a species, but not key to a healthier and happier life.
So I got counselling. I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes: prioritising my health, changing jobs, working with others to improve relationships – resetting of expectations and putting in boundaries, getting back on the dating apps, working on a more balanced approach to pursuing my passions, reducing my financial outgoings were possible and trying harder to stick to a budget, getting rid of excess clutter at home and generally taking better care of my mental and emotional health.
None of it was easy. And I’m still not where I want to be. But I’m pleased to say my health has improved in some areas such as my diabetes management & mental health. I am also happier than I can ever remember being.
