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My 2018 Review – The Busy Year filled with the Unexpected

By Friends & Family, Gigs & Shows, Happiness & Joy, Health, LifeNo Comments

In January my mum, brother, brother’s fiancee, nephew and I watched Peter Pan’s Musical Adventure in Blackpool. I went to Leeds to spend time with Robert and Neha. Robert & Neha are two of my most dear friends and favourite humans. Here are some photos:

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Blackpool Tower

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Mum feeding the 2p machines and feeding her habit at the same time.

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Left to Right: Me, Robert & Neha.

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Monopoly!

February started with a spring clean. I thought and wrote about The Cycle of Life. I shared some lessons I’ve learned from life.

In March I wrote about homelessness. I aided Steve, my housemate in his hunt for a cockatiel. Here is a photo of Steve’s cockatiel:

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Another photo of the extremely cute and chirpy Chakuro.

April began with my attempt to answer some of the most difficult questions in life. Steve and I visited Beeston Castle in Cheshire. I got creative and made a number of Pumpkin Spice Scented Candles:

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Me.

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The entrance to the main ruin (2). From the bridge was a sheer drop of at least thirty feet.

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My batch of handmade Pumpkin Spiced Scented Candles.

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One of my Pumpkin Spiced Scented candles. They just need some witchy charms tying to each jar.

For my birthday in May, my good friend Simon and I visited Warkworth Castle & Tynemouth Priory and Castle. See photos below. I published a blog post about how to support someone with mental illness.

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The most well preserved.

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Remains of Walkworth Castle (1).

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Tynemouth Priory and Castle remains (2).

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Simon (right) and me (left) in the stone coffins. I couldn’t believe that we both fitted perfectly.

Mum and I visited Harry Potter Studio Tour and London. Mum shared a story about St. James park:

When my mum was a little girl, she lived in London with her mum and dad (my grandma and granddad). Every Sunday, while her mum was making the Sunday dinner, her dad would take her to watch the changing of the Guard and then into St. James Park to feed the ducks.

From My Blog Post: Harry Potter Studio Tour and London with Mum.

In June I was fortunate to unexpectedly see A-Ha with my good friend Jayne. Endless things broke including my boiler, car, new laptop and washer dryer.

July saw Jayne and I visit Chester Zoo. Here are some photos:

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Butterfly (2).

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A close up of the baby elephant.

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My new lover! He’s the strong, wooden, silent type.

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This gorgeous beauty came to say hello and flirted with me (by winking with her big eye and long eyelashes) when I said ‘Hello Gorgeous.’ to her as she passed by.

I found myself disappointed. It was unexpected, but I managed to find the positive side to disappointment.

In July I continued working hard to improve my health. This included starting on FreeStyle Libre Flash Glucose Monitoring System.

September was particularly busy. A good friend, her son, two of his friends and I got close to wild animals at Blackpool Zoo. Here are some photos:

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This photo of a penguin is most probably the best photo I’ve ever taken. The penguin was swimming at great speed, although you wouldn’t have guested. I looked at this photo when I got home and it looks like it was taken by a professional. A total fluke.

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Another of the beautiful tiger. Blackpool Zoo have two tigers from what we saw. The tiger is more than slightly moist because of the rain.

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This is how close we got to a Lion. Able to look in its eye and see the intelligence, along with the hunter instinct. He appeared to be eyeing us up as a snack. Blackpool Zoo had two male Lions living in the enclosure together from what I saw. They seemed pretty well bonded and one went and groomed the other while we watched.

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Quickly becoming my favourite animal, the giraffes. What I love about giraffes is that every time I’ve politely called over to one (in different Zoos I might add), they come over. They look at me with their big black eyes and some times, if I’m really lucky, they let me take a photo before they walk off.

Still in September I was unexpectedly (and lucky enough to be offered) a spare ticket to see the spectacular Shania Twain.

In October I self-published a poem Sometimes High, Sometimes Low:

sometimes-high-sometimes-low-by-Antony-Simpson

Click for Full Size Image.

My mum, Kelly, my mum’s friend, her daughter and myself saw Matilda.

In November I went to a wonderful wedding and I watched Fantastic Beats: The Crimes of Grindelwald.

In December I had a great Christmas, shared with loved ones.

Overall 2018 was a busy year filled with the unexpected. Hopefully 2019 will be less busy, but with many good times, shared with friends and family. I’d also like lots more creative output from myself.

Write soon,

Antony

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11 Creative Projects That I Never Intended To Do… This Year

By Creativity, Gay, Health, Inspiration, Life, ThinkingNo Comments

At the start of 2016, I had all my creative projects for the year planned out. So far I’ve done zero of those planned projects. But instead I’ve done 11 Creative Projects that I never intended to do this year. Here they are in date order (older to most recent):

11. My short story Soulmates
I published my short story Soulmates. In Soulmates Robert and Lucas keep missing each other. In fact, they’ve never met. That is until a disembodied spirit assigns himself Robert’s case. Can this spirit create the perfect opportunity for these two potential Soulmates to finally meet? And if they do meet, how will it go?

Here is an except from Soulmates:

Soulmates-by-Antony-Simpson-Short-Story-Excerpt

10. My Tale of Overcoming Adversity
I told my tale of overcoming adversity. This was a post I’d wanted to write for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean at least over the last few years.

9. Five Wise Quotes from Albus Dumbledore
I put together 5 Wise Quotes from Albus Dumbledore:

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8. A Series of Blog Posts about Creative Writing
I wrote and published a Series of Blog Posts on Creative Writing, see: Beginning, Middle & End.

7. This Mother’s Appreciation Day Poem:

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A Poem I wrote for and about my Mum for Mother’s Day.

6. A Series of Blog Posts on Inspirational Quotes
I collated and presented in image format Inspirational Quotes on Gay People, Love, Self-Love, Friendship, Life and some quotes from yours truly.

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Inspirational Quotes on Gay People.

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Inspirational Quotes on Love.

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Inspirational Quotes on Self-love.

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Inspirational Quotes on Friendship.

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Inspirational Quotes on Life.

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Some Hopefully Inspirational Quotes from Yours Truly (Antony Simpson)

5. A Mind Map: What Makes A Good Nurse?
I wrote a blog post entitled Mind Map: What Makes A Good Nurse? with this mind map:

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Mind Map: What Makes A Good Nurse? (Click for Full Size Image)

4. The History of the National Health Service (NHS)
I wrote this article on The History of the National History Service:

Click here to display content from docs.google.com

Download (PDF, 233KB)

3. Fifteen Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe
I thought about when my depression was really bad. I decided to write this blog post: 15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe. Here’s the blog post:

Here are 15 lies that depression would have you believe:
15. That it is bigger than you.
It’s not. It just makes you think this so that it can keep in control of you.

14. That it would be better if you never left your bed/room/house again.
It wouldn’t. You have so much to offer the world and you would miss out on so much if you never moved again. On days you feel like this practice self-compassion. Be kind but firm with yourself. Set yourself a small achievable goal. Force yourself into action to achieve this goal. Achieving a goal, no matter how small the goal is, will help you to feel better.

13. That you’re a failure.
Firstly you can’t be a failure. Failure only comes by attempting to do or achieve things. Failure is no bad thing – you learn more through failure than you do success. Don’t believe me? watch this TED video where J.K. Rowling talks about the benefits of failure.

Depression likes to magnify experiences in your mind. It focuses on only the negative aspects of an experience. Most experiences are a mix of positives and negatives. Try to put experiences into perspective. Examine the positives. Try to practice balanced thinking and self-compassion.

12. That you’ll never laugh again.
You will and often. People can and do recover from depression. Feeling okay doesn’t mean that you’re in recovery, starting to feel good again does. If you’re just feeling okay, go back and see your GP.

In recovery you will start to experience a number of long lost emotions such as happiness, joy and elation. When you do, greet them as old friends and experience them fully.

11. That being physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted is a normal state of being.
It isn’t. You might be sleeping for 18 hours and wake up still exhausted or you might be suffering with insomnia. But people usually have a stable amount of energy throughout the day and should sleep for a recommended 8 hours.

Depression is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting, but if you go to your GP and get the right treatment (see my blog post on treatment options for more details) things will improve.

10. That you’re pathetic. That you have no right to feel the way you do. That you are a disappointment to all that know you.
Shame and guilt are two emotions that depression uses to try and control you. Let go of any shame and guilt you feel. Accept how you feel now and know that it is temporary, almost fleeting compared with you life. Be confident knowing that how you feel now will change with the passage of time.

9. That the physical, mental and emotional pain you feel is all that there is.
There’s more to life pain. There’s care, love, happiness, joy and so much more. Just hold on. You have experienced the more-than-pain emotions before and you will again.

8. That you can’t do anything right or well enough.
My mum has lots of wisdom. She once said that all anyone can ask is that you try your best. Remember these words.

Remember that depression likes to magnify failures and things that didn’t go as well as you hoped. On days when you feel like this, practice self-compassion, use balanced thinking and try to put things into perspective. What where your intentions? Did you kill anybody? No? Well then, it’s not the end of the world.

7. That you are worthless.
You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly the same as you and there never will be. You are priceless and beyond value measures. Don’t listen to this lie, instead remind yourself that you are special and remind yourself what makes you, you.

6. That you’re going mad, mental or loosing your mind.
No you’re not. Your brain is just overwhelmed with cortisol – the stress hormone at the moment. Take a break and stop doing anything that you don’t need to. Practice relaxation techniques and be kind to yourself.

Remember that among the great and the good are people who’ve experienced depression. Even at the height of their success.

5. That everything is too much effort. That just getting up and out of bed is too exhausting.
Set yourself a small goal each day and try your best to achieve it. The goal might be as tiny as having a bath, calling someone for a quick chat, changing your bedding or going for a short walk.

Despite how you feel, get yourself to your GP and get treatment. If this seems too ginormous of a task, break it up into smaller steps. Ask family members or friends to help you to do this.

4. That your soul or higher self is being destroyed.
Your soul or higher self has survived several lifetimes and the accompanying reincarnation processes. It can and will survive depression. Depression is tiny and insignificant in comparison to the challenges your soul or higher self has already experienced.

3. That everything is hopeless.
You may feel this way, but it is not and will never be hopeless. According to The Royal College of Psychiatrists people can and do fully recover from depression.

2. That life isn’t worth living.
Here’s a plea from the heart: darling you might feel this way now, but how you feel will change. If you are feeling suicidal please visit your nearest A&E Department for crisis support.

1. That you’ll never be happy again.
You will. It will just take the right treatment and time.

(From: 15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe.)

2. A List of Famous People with Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and/or Dyscalculia
Following on from my tale of overcoming adversity, I came up with the idea of doing A List of Famous People with Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and/or Dyscalculia, which I did.

1. The difference between a House and a Home
Home has always been really important to me. But I noticed that people tend to use the word house and home interchangeably. So I wrote a blog post about The difference between a House and a Home.

My creative output has dramatically increased. Which is brilliant, especially considering how exceptionally busy 2016 has turned out to be so far. I’m already working on the next creative project, which I hope to share with you soon.

Take care,

Antony

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Control

By Love & RelationshipsNo Comments

I heard this song on the radio:

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It got me thinking about David as it was our song. I remembered I still have stuff at his I need to get (I also have stuff of his that I want to return). But it made me think of our relationship. I wrote this poem about our relationship:

Control

At first I thought it was my issue,
Maybe I wasn’t giving you enough time?
You’d end up crying and I’d hand you a tissue,
But to express what I have learned I write you this rhyme.

It wasn’t about time you see,
It was about us together as a pair,
Controling you could be,
I was blamed for everything – is this really fair?

You’d make comments about my style,
Or about things I’d said and done,
And I began to think I was vile,
Good at nothing and that I was no fun.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?”
I’d only had two double vodka’s with friends,
It was at this point I began to think,
But drinking for the night comes to ends.

You see I listen and take on board what you say,
But it got too much on that night,
You wanted everything all of your own way,
And then it started the fight.

You yelled and screamed until you were loud,
You intimidated me being right in my face,
I said things in response that didn’t make me feel proud,
And I also spoke loudly to make my case.

But again all of it was my fault,
The blame not shared between us both in the wrong,
I asked you to leave to bring the argument to a halt,
You said you’d forgive me if said sorry but I couldn’t let it roll of my tongue.

Why you ask?
Because I don’t want to be controlled by my man,
I don’t want to feel emotionally blackmailed by someone wearing a mask,
Their mask to hide their insecurities of which I am not a fan.

What I do want is to be loved and cared about,
I want a balanced relationship that is equal,
Anything less I can do without,
So with this particular man there will be no relationship sequel.

I do however thank him for the times of good,
And wish him well for the future.

Written by: Antony Simpson (2009).
Not to be reproduced with out permission.

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