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Mental Health Focus: How to support someone with Mental Illness

By Health, Thinking4 Comments
mental-health-focus Supporting someone with mental illness can be difficult. What should you say and not say? What should you do and not do?

First educate yourself around mental illness. Mental health charities Mind and SANE both have informative websites.

You can see General Statistics for Mental Health in the UK here. You can see a A list of Famous People who have experienced Mental Illness here. You can also see 15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe here.

Second: You must look after yourself. You can’t support anyone else if you are not well physically, mentally or emotionally. You may find my blog post 10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Mental Health useful.

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On to the practical advice to support someone with mental illness:

  • Stay in contact with them. Ask them how they would like you to keep in contact. Some may may prefer phoning or seeing; whereas others may prefer messaging or texting.
  • Unconditional love and care. Let them know that you love them unconditionally and care for them deeply. Don’t have any expectation that they will reciprocate.
  • Listen to what they say and don’t assume anything.
  • Ensure that there are no distractions when you are with them or on the phone to them. Put your phone on silent and make sure any loud children are pets are out of the way (if you have them).
  • Offer practical support. Go shopping for them or with them, help them to clean, cook them a meal. Whatever it is that they need. They maybe resistant to the idea of practical help, so reassure them that you are happy to help and that you know they’d do it for you.
  • Remind them to take their medication or when appointments are due. People with mental illness tend to have poor short term memories.
  • Ask them about their appetite and diet. If they have an appetite but are struggling to make anything (due to lack of energy and/or motivation), find out what there favourite meal is and cook it for them.
  • Offer distracting activities. Distracting activities that you can both do together can give someone a break from their own critical inner of voice. The activities can be something as simple as a walk around the park. Make sure you are always led by the person with mental illness though. If they say that they are too unwell or tired to do the activity, don’t take it personally. And certainly don’t judge them or take offence.
  • Help them access support. This could include going with them to GP, counselling sessions or mental health service appointments. Offer to sit in appointments with them, but let them know that it’s okay if they want to be seen alone.
  • Be understanding. Someone with mental illness may cancel plans at the last minute. You may arrive at their house to find it messy and them unclean. Don’t take it personally, let them know that you understand and ask if there is anyway that you can help.
  • Be patient. Like any illness, mental illness takes the right treatment, the right support and time for them to start to feel better.
  • Limit questions and time spent with them, if you feel they are exhausted and need to rest. You’ll be able to spot if they need to rest by: pulling on their hair, forgetting what you’ve said to them, being very slow to respond, unable to think of words, dropping of their head, shuffling of feet and other body language people use when they look like they are about to drop off to sleep.
  • Be aware of your own body language and theirs. Try and display open body language and avoid mirroring.
  • Try not to give advice, as often it is unrealistic and unhelpful. For example never advise someone with depression to exercise more or have an healthier diet. This person has probably used all of their energy and motivation to get out of the bed. This single action has left them more exhausted than they have ever felt in their life. So advising them to exercise, eat an healthier diet or make big changes to their life will seem unachievable and may come across as if you are blaming them for their depression.
  • Sign-post them to useful resources. Such as: NHS Choices, Time to Change, Mental Health Foundation, Mind, SANE, Anxiety UK and Bipolar UK.

This blog post is part of a series that focuses on mental health. Other posts in the series include: Mental Health Focus: Treatment & Recovery, Mental Health Focus: A List of Common Conditions and Mental Health Focus: 5 Brilliant TED Talks About Mental Health.

You can read about my experiences of mental illness here: Life Hiatus – My Mental Health In-Patient Admission and Diagnosis of a ‘Mood Disorder’, My Health Woes: Clinical Depression, Dental Abscesses, The Lump and The Emergency Surgery, Finally…in Recovery and getting Back to Life and Mental Health Focus: I’ve Been One of the 1 in 4.

Take care,

Antony

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Wednesday 16 May 2018

15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe

By HealthNo Comments

black-cloud-black-and-white
Here are 15 lies that depression would have you believe:

15. That it is bigger than you.
It’s not. It just makes you think this so that it can keep in control of you.

14. That it would be better if you never left your bed/room/house again.
It wouldn’t. You have so much to offer the world and you would miss out on so much if you never moved again. On days you feel like this practice self-compassion. Be kind but firm with yourself. Set yourself a small achievable goal. Force yourself into action to achieve this goal. Achieving a goal, no matter how small the goal is, will help you to feel better.

13. That you’re a failure.
Firstly you can’t be a failure. Failure only comes by attempting to do or achieve things. Failure is no bad thing – you learn more through failure than you do success. Don’t believe me? watch this TED video where J.K. Rowling talks about the benefits of failure.

Depression likes to magnify experiences in your mind. It focuses on only the negative aspects of an experience. Most experiences are a mix of positives and negatives. Try to put experiences into perspective. Examine the positives. Try to practice balanced thinking and self-compassion.

12. That you’ll never laugh again.
You will and often. People can and do recover from depression. Feeling okay doesn’t mean that you’re in recovery, starting to feel good again does. If you’re just feeling okay, go back and see your GP.

In recovery you will start to experience a number of long lost emotions such as happiness, joy and elation. When you do, greet them as old friends and experience them fully.

11. That being physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted is a normal state of being.
It isn’t. You might be sleeping for 18 hours and wake up still exhausted or you might be suffering with insomnia. But people usually have a stable amount of energy throughout the day and should sleep for a recommended 8 hours.

Depression is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting, but if you go to your GP and get the right treatment (see my blog post on treatment options for more details) things will improve.

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10. That you’re pathetic. That you have no right to feel the way you do. That you are a disappointment to all that know you.
Shame and guilt are two emotions that depression uses to try and control you. Let go of any shame and guilt you feel. Accept how you feel now and know that it is temporary, almost fleeting compared with you life. Be confident knowing that how you feel now will change with the passage of time.

9. That the physical, mental and emotional pain you feel is all that there is.
There’s more to life pain. There’s care, love, happiness, joy and so much more. Just hold on. You have experienced the more-than-pain emotions before and you will again.

8. That you can’t do anything right or well enough.
My mum has lots of wisdom. She once said that all anyone can ask is that you try your best. Remember these words.

Remember that depression likes to magnify failures and things that didn’t go as well as you hoped. On days when you feel like this, practice self-compassion, use balanced thinking and try to put things into perspective. What where your intentions? Did you kill anybody? No? Well then, it’s not the end of the world.

7. That you are worthless.
You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly the same as you and there never will be. You are priceless and beyond value measures. Don’t listen to this lie, instead remind yourself that you are special and remind yourself what makes you, you.

6. That you’re going mad, mental or loosing your mind.
No you’re not. Your brain is just overwhelmed with cortisol – the stress hormone at the moment. Take a break and stop doing anything that you don’t need to. Practice relaxation techniques and be kind to yourself.

Remember that among the great and the good are people who’ve experienced depression. Even at the height of their success.

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5. That everything is too much effort. That just getting up and out of bed is too exhausting.
Set yourself a small goal each day and try your best to achieve it. The goal might be as tiny as having a bath, calling someone for a quick chat, changing your bedding or going for a short walk.

Despite how you feel, get yourself to your GP and get treatment. If this seems too ginormous of a task, break it up into smaller steps. Ask family members or friends to help you to do this.

4. That your soul or higher self is being destroyed.
Your soul or higher self has survived several lifetimes and the accompanying reincarnation processes. It can and will survive depression. Depression is tiny and insignificant in comparison to the challenges your soul or higher self has already experienced.

3. That everything is hopeless.
You may feel this way, but it is not and will never be hopeless. According to The Royal College of Psychiatrists people can and do fully recover from depression.

2. That life isn’t worth living.
Here’s a plea from the heart: darling you might feel this way now, but how you feel will change. If you are feeling suicidal please visit your nearest A&E Department for crisis support.

1. That you’ll never be happy again.
You will. It will just take the right treatment and time.

A Depression Self-help Guide
Whilst doing research for this blog post, I found this brilliant Depression Moodjuice Self-help Guide by Paul Gilbert online. This doesn’t replace treatment, but will give you some tools to help yourself.

Not sure if you have depression?
Here is a depression self-assessment tool from NHS Choices website:

Click here to display content from media.nhschoices.nhs.uk

Open "self assessments" directly

content provided by NHS Choices

Blog soon,

Antony

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Friday 15 July 2016

Mind Map: What Makes A Good Nurse?

By Health, Life, ThinkingNo Comments

In my day job, I’m a Nurse. I had an experience recently that made me ask the question: What makes a Good Nurse?

I started with a mind map of my ideas (click on the Image for Full Size Image):

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Mind Map: What Makes A Good Nurse? (Click for Full Size Image)

Despite the size of the mind map, there were loads of other qualities, talents and skills that I simply couldn’t fit on the mind map. These include:

  • A Sense of Humour
  • Patience
  • A Holistic Approach to care.
  • An understanding of and interest in Biology (Anatomy & Physiology), Sociology & Psychology.
  • Basic Life Support – Skills in Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR).
  • An understanding of public health and health promotion.
  • An understanding of key issues: addiction, smoking cessation, mental health and obesity.
  • Knowledge of both hospital and community services including: what services offer, how they operate and how patient’s can access them.
  • Works Well in a Team.
  • Has Leadership Skills.
  • Aware of legislation relevant to patient care, safeguarding and other legislation related to their field of practice.
  • Has three goals: to prevent patients from getting sick/unwell, to make sick patients well again, and to keep patients as well & healthy as possible.

A Good Nurse needs to have so many qualities, talents and skills. No one person will have everyone of the qualities, talents and skills listed here. But I’ve worked with some fabulous Nurses that have come pretty close.

Nurses work in teams, which is where skill mix comes into play. Having a team of Nurses with a good mix of qualities, talents and skills means excellent patient care. This is because most, if not all of these qualities, talents and skills are met by the Nursing team as a whole.

Is there a quality, talent or skill you think a Good Nurse needs to have that isn’t on the mind map or list above? If so, please leave a comment below.

Write soon,

Antony

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Thursday 28 April 2016

Life Hiatus – My Mental Health In-Patient Admission and Diagnosis of a ‘Mood Disorder’

By Friends & Family, Happiness & Joy, Health, Life, Money / Finances, Shopping, Thinking2 Comments
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My Nameband.

 Recently, I had to take an unexpected what-I-call Life Hiatus. My mental health had gradually deteriorated to the point were I was having severe and erratic mood swings. Everyone’s mood fluctuates throughout the day, but not to the extremes I was experiencing.

People talk about good and bad days with depression. I was having good, bad, okay or mixed mood states lasting between 45 minutes to 4-6 hours. These mood swings were unpredictable with no pattern. They didn’t have triggers and were not related to a critical inner voice.

These mood swings were torturous. See My Mood Swing Table below for details of what these mood swings were like.

I felt desperate for the mood swings to end. To the point of having suicidal ideation and a clear plan of action.

I had thought that I was objective about my mental health. But because the mood swings had gradually got worse I hadn’t realised how unwell I was. I sought help because three people close to me said that I wasn’t well. Luckily I had these people around me and knew that could trust them, even if I couldn’t trust myself.

So I went to my local A&E. I was assessed by a Mental Health Nurse and together we decided that I needed admission. I stayed on the A&E Ward overnight, whilst I waited for an available bed on a mental health ward.

The next evening, I was transferred to a mental health ward. On arrival at the ward, my possessions were searched and Nursing Staff took my shoe laces, belt, hoodie (due to cord in hood), phone charger, lighters and medication. The ward layout was a square shaped main corridor with dormitories, individual rooms and many other rooms that where behind locked doors.

The first night was frightening. Everything about the place was frightening. The environment. The locked doors. The routine. The rules I hadn’t been told. The other patients. The staff. I even found my own mood swings frightening. At one point, I was physically shaking uncontrollably due to the fear and anxiety.

I was assessed by a Psychiatrist and commenced on 10 minute observations. It would be a few days before I was reviewed. At the time, I couldn’t understand why they appeared to be doing very little to help me and my state of mind. But afterwards, I realised that they had wanted to observe me and see my mood swings for themselves.

The Consultant Psychiatrist diagnosed me with a ‘Mood Disorder.’ Here is a definition of a ‘mood disorder:’

mood disorder –
noun
a psychological disorder characterized by the elevation or lowering of a person’s mood, such as depression or bipolar disorder.

(From: Google, Last Accessed: Friday 27th November 2015.)

The Consultant Psychiatrist informed me that they were reluctant to give a more specific diagnosis on the first admission to a mental health ward. I told the Consultant Psychiatrist that I didn’t care what they called it, as long as they gave me some medication that worked. I explained that with some stability in mood, I could make further psychological and behavioural changes to help myself to get well and stay well.

I was started on Quetiapine, an antipsychotic and mood stabiliser medication. It was to help to take the edge off my mood swings and give me some stability of mood. I was also started on Mirtazapine, an antidepressant. This was to help to manage the depression/low moods.

Overall, I was an in-patient on the mental health ward for about 12 days. During this time, my Mum and good friend Steve were superb. They took over all my responsibilities and made sure that everything in the outside world was sorted, meaning that I didn’t have to worry about anything – apart from getting better.

I will never be able to thank Mum and Steve enough for what they have done for me, but I have repeatedly thanked them anyway. I will never be able to explain how much I appreciate them for everything that they have done for me, but I have tried to explain anyway.

I feel that I got to this crisis point because I waited so long to get referred to and assessed by Community Mental Health Services. It feels like Community Mental Health Services are designed to keep people out, rather than let people in to get the help and support that they need and in most cases are asking for. This is probably because of a lack of resources in mental health services. But this really doesn’t help and support people with mental health problems to get and stay well.

I have been discharged from the hospital and am and engaged with Community Mental Health Services. Recovery will be a slow and progressive one. I am taking the medication as prescribed, attending appointments with community services and setting myself daily goals that I am currently achieving.

Write soon,

Antony

My Mood Swing Table
Highs
Okays
Lows
Mixed Mood States
Physical Symptoms
  • High energy levels.
  • Very productive.
  • Difficulty in getting/staying asleep.
  • Head aches.
  • Speaking Quickly.
  • Hypersexualised.
  • Relatively symptom free. Considering the extreme High and Low physical symptoms.
  • Exhaustion – despite sleeping for many, many hours.
  • Back pain and stomach pain that doesn’t resolve with appropriate treatments.
  • Head aches.
  • Constipation.
  • Physical anxiety symptoms: raised pulse and blood pressure.
  • A mix of high, low and okay physical symptoms to varying degrees of severity.
Mental / Cognitive Symptoms
  • Racing thoughts – lots of ideas, but struggling to focus on one for long enough.
  • Difficulty in concentrating.
  • A rush of ideas for creative projects.
  • Saying whatever I think without considering the implications of what I’m saying.
  • Grandiose thinking – Thinking I can do anything to a level beyond the level of an expert.
  • Thinking that I understand things on a much deeper level than everyone else.
  • Short-term memory loss.
  • Insomnia and night terrors.
  • Slower mental and cognitive functioning, compared to when I was well.
  • Limited/no concentration span.
  • Short-term memory loss.
  • Critical inner voice.
  • Thoughts about what other people negatively think about me.
  • Insomnia and night terrors.
  • Concern about loosing my mind.
  • A mix of high, low and okay mental / cognitive symptoms to varying degrees of severity.
  • Concern about loosing my mind.
  • Concern about what mood would come next and its severity.
Emotional Symptoms
  • Excessively joyful with no reason for this state of mood.
  • Super confident. Loads of self-esteem.
  • Excessively excited again without reason.
  • Feeling like I can do anything.
  • Feeling frustrated or irritable without a reason.
  • Varying levels of anxiety, from worried to outright panic.
  • Void of any emotion.
  • Zombified. Feeling like what I imagine a zombie feels like.
  • Going through the motions.
  • Despair and hopelessness.
  • No confidence and rockbottom self-esteem.
  • Feeling frustrated or irritable without a reason.
  • Feeling like I am falling down a dark bottomless pit.
  • Feeling guilt, inadequacy and feeling like a failure.
  • Varying levels of anxiety, from worried to outright panic.
  • Desperation – wanting the mental and emotional anguish to end.
  • Feeling like my mind, body and soul are being devoured and destroyed.
  • A mix of high, low and okay emotional symptoms to varying degrees of severity.
Behavioural Examples
  • Being super productive.
  • Being overtly social.
  • Take on too many commitments, thinking that I can do everything.
  • Impulsive behaviours – including excessive shopping, even when I don’t have the money.
  • Unfinished tasks – sometimes being unable to focus for long enough on tasks to complete them.
  • Able to function, but only just.
  • Loss of interest in leisure activities.
  • Unable to watch TV, read or do other leisure activities.
  • Overeating or forcing myself to eat despite having no appetite.
  • Poor personal hygiene.
  • No motivation.
  • Reckless spending of money – mostly through online shopping.
  • Social anxiety – isolating myself and avoiding social situations.
  • A mix of high, low and okay behaviours to varying degrees of severity.

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Sunday 29 November 2015
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