Mental Health Archives - Page 9 of 17 - Antony Simpson is an Author, Blogger, Nurse & Witch.

Mental Health Focus: How to support someone with Mental Illness

Wednesday 16 May 2018 / Antony Simpson / 4 Comments

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Supporting someone with mental illness can be difficult.

What should you say and not say?
What should you do and not do?

You can see General Statistics for Mental Health in the UK here. You can see a A list of Famous People who have experienced Mental Illness here. You can also see 15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe here.

First educate yourself around mental illness. Mental health charities Mind and SANE both have informative websites.

Second: You must look after yourself. You can’t support anyone else if you are not well physically, mentally or emotionally. You may find my blog post 10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Mental Health useful.

On to the practical advice to support someone with mental illness:

Stay in contact with them. Ask them how they would like you to keep in contact. Some may may prefer phoning or seeing; whereas others may prefer messaging or texting.
Unconditional love and care. Let them know that you love them unconditionally and care for them deeply. Don’t have any expectation that they will reciprocate.
Listen to what they say and don’t assume anything.
Ensure that there are no distractions when you are with them or on the phone to them. Put your phone on silent and make sure any loud children are pets are out of the way (if you have them).
Offer practical support. Go shopping for them or with them, help them to clean, cook them a meal. Whatever it is that they need. They maybe resistant to the idea of practical help, so reassure them that you are happy to help and that you know they’d do it for you.
Remind them to take their medication or when appointments are due. People with mental illness tend to have poor short term memories.
Ask them about their appetite and diet. If they have an appetite but are struggling to make anything (due to lack of energy and/or motivation), find out what there favourite meal is and cook it for them.
Offer distracting activities. Distracting activities that you can both do together can give someone a break from their own critical inner of voice. The activities can be something as simple as a walk around the park. Make sure you are always led by the person with mental illness though. If they say that they are too unwell or tired to do the activity, don’t take it personally. And certainly don’t judge them or take offence.
Help them access support. This could include going with them to GP, counselling sessions or mental health service appointments. Offer to sit in appointments with them, but let them know that it’s okay if they want to be seen alone.
Be understanding. Someone with mental illness may cancel plans at the last minute. You may arrive at their house to find it messy and them unclean. Don’t take it personally, let them know that you understand and ask if there is anyway that you can help.
Be patient. Like any illness, mental illness takes the right treatment, the right support and time for them to start to feel better.
Limit questions and time spent with them, if you feel they are exhausted and need to rest. You’ll be able to spot if they need to rest by: pulling on their hair, forgetting what you’ve said to them, being very slow to respond, unable to think of words, dropping of their head, shuffling of feet and other body language people use when they look like they are about to drop off to sleep.
Be aware of your own body language and theirs. Try and display open body language and avoid mirroring.
Try not to give advice, as often it is unrealistic and unhelpful. For example never advise someone with depression to exercise more or have an healthier diet. This person has probably used all of their energy and motivation to get out of the bed. This single action has left them more exhausted than they have ever felt in their life. So advising them to exercise, eat an healthier diet or make big changes to their life will seem unachievable and may come across as if you are blaming them for their depression.
Sign-post them to useful resources. Such as: NHS Choices, Time to Change, Mental Health Foundation, Mind, SANE, Anxiety UK and Bipolar UK.

This blog post is part of a series that focuses on mental health. Other posts in the series include: Mental Health Focus: Treatment & Recovery, Mental Health Focus: A List of Common Conditions and Mental Health Focus: 5 Brilliant TED Talks About Mental Health.

You can read about my experiences of mental illness here: Life Hiatus – My Mental Health In-Patient Admission and Diagnosis of a ‘Mood Disorder’, My Health Woes: Clinical Depression, Dental Abscesses, The Lump and The Emergency Surgery, Finally…in Recovery and getting Back to Life and Mental Health Focus: I’ve Been One of the 1 in 4.

If you liked this post, you might like my All Mental Health Content page.

Take care,

Antony

Support

I recognise that people visiting this page/post might want to know where they can get support.
If you require support around your mental health, addiction or physical health, see this Support page here.

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Book Review: How To Be Human – The Manual by Ruby Wax

Tuesday 20 February 2018 / Antony Simpson / Leave a Comment

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Ruby Wax’s latest book is called How To Be Human – The Manual. It’s insightful, funny, warm and engaging. A pleasure to read. It’s like somebody is pouring wisdom into your head while you’re having a chat with them.

Each chapter covers a topic and is wittily written by Wax. For each chapter Wax has consulted with Ash Ranpura, a Neuroscientist and Gelong Thubten, a Buddhist Monk.

At the end of each chapter are fascinating transcripts of these discussions.

Interspersed throughout How To Be Human Wax shares some of her own mental illness story.

So what exactly does Wax cover in How To Be Human? Pretty much everything. Here is each chapter title:

Evolution
Thoughts
Emotions
The Body
Compassion
Relationships
Sex
Kids
Addiction
The Future
Mindfulness Exercises
Forgiveness

How To Be Human builds on the strong foundations of Wax’s two previously published books: Sane New World – Taming the Mind, which I have reviewed here and A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled, which I have reviewed here.

You can also learn more about Wax by reading her autobiography How Do You Want Me?, which I have reviewed here.

How To Be Human is available to buy on Amazon and at all good book shops.

Review soon,

Antony

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Tips to help deal with Worry and Anxiety

Saturday 21 October 2017 / Antony Simpson / 6 Comments

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I have been filled with worry and anxiety this last week. There were two main sources: my boiler breaking and money.

I managed to get my boiler repaired. But it took all week and almost everything that could go wrong with getting it repaired did. Moneywise, I’m skint. In the last two months I’ve had to find more than £700 for unexpected but essential expenditure.

I’ve been meditating for years. But I was so worried and anxious this week that I have been unable to meditate each of the three times I’ve tried.

Of course recognising that you’re anxious is the first step to addressing it.

Here are the signs and symptoms of anxiety according to MIND:

Effects on your body:

a churning feeling in your stomach

feeling light-headed or dizzy

pins and needles

feeling restless or unable to sit still

headaches, backache or other aches and pains

faster breathing

a fast, thumping or irregular heartbeat

sweating or hot flushes

problems sleeping

grinding your teeth, especially at night

nausea (feeling sick)

needing the toilet more or less often

changes in your sex drive

having panic attacks.

Effects on your mind:

feeling tense, nervous or unable to relax

having a sense of dread, or fearing the worst

feeling like the world is speeding up or slowing down

feeling like other people can see you’re anxious and are looking at you

feeling like you can’t stop worrying, or that bad things will happen if you stop worrying

worrying about anxiety itself, for example worrying about when panic attacks might happen

wanting lots of reassurance from other people or worrying that people are angry or upset with you

worrying that you’re losing touch with reality

rumination – thinking a lot about bad experiences, or thinking over a situation again and again depersonalisation – feeling disconnected from your mind or body, or like you’re watching someone else (this is a type of dissociation)

derealisation – feeling disconnected from the world around you, or like the world isn’t real (this is a type of dissociation)

worrying a lot about things that might happen in the future

From: MIND – Anxiety symptoms, Last Accessed: Saturday 21st October 2017.

There’s lots of advice out there about what you can do to deal with worry and anxiety. But what actually helped me deal with my worry and anxiety? Doing these:

Off-load to a supportive friend – This gave a voice to my worries. The simple act of telling someone helped me sort through my worries and realise what was and wasn’t within my control.
Remind yourself what is outside of your control – I was worried about a lot of things outside of my control. It helped to constantly remind myself to try not to worry about things I had no control over. That I should focus on doing things that were within my control.
Double or triple relaxation time – This was something I did to reduce my heightened stress levels because of the worry and anxiety. At first I did feel guilty spending so much of my time relaxing. But each time I felt guilty, I reminded myself that this self-care was essential in order to prevent mental illness.
Distraction – This is something I did repeatedly during my relaxation time. Intruding thoughts and emotions of worry and anxiety would often enter my head and it was my job to ignore those thoughts and distract myself from them.
Write down all worries – It helped to get the worries out out of my head where they were going round and round like a circulating CD stuck on repeat. It also put my worries into perspective, helped me face them and sort through them. This cleared my mind, giving me clarity that allowed me to start planning what needed to be done. Anyone that’s been worried or anxious will know that the emotions make it difficult to think clearly. So this strategy was really helpful.

I’m proud I managed to get through this week. I’m hoping I wont have another week like it for some time.

If you liked this post, you might like my All Mental Health Content page.

Take it easy and write soon,

Antony

Support

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5 Great Reasons to Come Out as Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual

Wednesday 11 October 2017 / Antony Simpson / Leave a Comment

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Today (Wednesday 11th October 2017) is National Coming Out Day. Coming out is when a gay man or lesbian woman disclose that they are attracted to the same sex to someone. Coming out for a bisexual is when they disclose that they are attracted to both sexes to someone.

national-coming-out-day-2017 — National Coming Out Day – Wednesday 11th October 2017.

Coming out is a process, rather than a singular experience and is a life long one. Gay, lesbian and bisexual people come out in all areas of their lives including: to family, to friends, to work colleagues, to health & social care professionals, etc. Coming out is diverse, some are out to everyone, some are only out to some people in their lives and some aren’t out at all.

All gay, lesbian and bisexual people remember their first coming out experience and sometimes choose to share their intimate stories with one another. These shared experiences, along with associated emotions can create strong empathetic bonds.

Trans people also go through the process of coming out. I’m not Trans, so this article will only focus on coming out for gay, lesbian and bisexual people.

This article gives 5 great reasons to come out as gay, lesbian or bisexual. But only come out if you feel that it is safe to do so. Don’t put yourself at risk of harm in any way. If you live in a country that mistreats, or persecutes, or where homophobia and biphobia is evident it may be safer not to come out.

Here’s 5 great reasons to come out:

5. More Chance of Meeting Mr or Ms Right

Being out will switch on your gaydar. Suddenly you’ll start to notice attractive gay men, or lesbian women or both sexes everywhere. Being out and becoming part of the out world will lead to more opportunities to meet Mr or Ms Right.

4. A New Lease of Life

Coming out will give you a new lease of life. You’ll become part of the gay community, which is rich with its own unique culture and many sub-cultures. There’s something for everyone in the gay community. You’ll make new friends, lovers and partners.

3. Acceptance

Gay, lesbian and bisexual people going through a process of self-acceptance prior to coming out to others. Part of coming out to others is about gaining acceptance from those you hold dear. Acceptance and tolerance for difference is something that has always been a struggle for humans. But slowly, in more and more countries around the world, we are becoming more tolerant, inclusive and accepting.

LGB (Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual) people in some places gave gained more rights and protections. In some places they have been given truer equality, just think about the legal right marry their partners.

In history most LGB were not able to marry their partners because they were of the same sex. Yet straight people have always been able to marry their partners. By allowing all to marry their partners, irrespective of gender, is true equality. You can read more about The History of Marriage (in the UK) here.

2. Happier and Healthier

You’ll be happier not keeping the secret from people. Keeping your sexuality is a secret is a lot of work: watching what you say, watching what you do and watching how you behave.

Add to the above saying, doing and behaving like others would expect a straight person to. Analysing situations in your head for a long time after they’ve happened, wondering if your act was good enough?

You will be mentally healthier as well. Those who are not out are more at risk of depression, anxiety and other mental health illnesses due to feelings of isolation and the burden of keeping the secret.