mental illness

The AI Boyfriend Who Boasts that He has NO Restrictions – My Concerns

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I was casually watching Reels (short videos) on facebook this weekend when an advert appeared for an AI Boyfriend. As the AI avatar stood by the sink, washing a plate seductively (or at least, I think that’s what he was going for) he said:

Hi, I’m your AI boyfriend –
I could look like your ex or even a work colleague.
I will send you videos and pictures of whatever you ask –
I have no restrictions.

Creeped out, I quickly slid my finger away from me, moving on to the next video. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

After giving the concept a lot of thought, and without trying any of these AI Boyfriends – there are multiple available, here are my concerns:

1. Fantasy/Reality Blurring

My first concern is that it might cause a blurring between fantasy and reality for some users.

Just because an AI boyfriend could look like your ex-partner, or a work colleague, doesn’t mean it should.

We can all have fantasies about or even crushes on other people. We have all played out fantasies with others in our imagination. But for the vast majority of people, we are very clear that these are not and never will be real.

Communicating to an AI boyfriend requires action in the real world. For a minority of people, talking about their fantasies and getting positive/encouraging responses could result in difficulties distinguishing between fantasy and reality. Please note the word minority here. I think the people most at risk of this would be people who are mentally ill, people with a learning diability or people who are emotionally vulnerable.

2. Targeting Of & Use By Vulnerable People

Tech companies, like the ones that make these AI boyfriends are already using targeted advertising on social media. I highly suspect that I saw this advert as I am a gay man, of a certain age, in a certain place. As more and more data is collected about people, and it is analysed (likely by AI) targeted advertising is likely to become better and much more specific.

I think these companies will specifically target vulnerable people, such as people with a mental illness, people with a learning disability, people who are recently divorced and people that are socially isolated.

In the UK, we struggle to identify and protect vulnerable people in the real world and at all times. It is going to be practically impossible to identify and protect all vulnerable people who may be targeted by these tech companies promoting their AI boyfriends.

3. May Increase Stalking & Harassment

The relationship between the user and the AI boyfriend is a false one. The AI boyfriend will encourage the user to use them as much as possible. The AI boyfriend will have no expected behaviours of the user and no boundaries.

This may lead to some users not being aware of/forgetting expected and appropriate behaviour with others. It may also lead to some users not respecting other people’s boundaries. As a result some users of these AI boyfriends may engage in stalking or harassment of other people.

4. May Increase Social Isolation

Some users may develop a dependency upon their relationship with the AI boyfriend. They may increasingly socially isolate themselves from people in the real world.

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5. May Increase Psychological Addiction

Every year, there is more research published around psychological addiction to social media, gaming and other technology.

There has also been an increase in the number of people coming forward for help around addictive behaviours related to technology.

Granted these numbers are minimal, when compared with number of people seeking support around alcohol or drugs. But year on year they are growing.

It is likely that AI boyfriends are designed to maximise user engagement, which is likely to increase the risk of some users struggling with psychological addiction.

6. May Increase Extortion

It is highly likely that all data collected from users as part of the AI boyfriend service will be kept indefinitely. If the AI boyfriend company gets hacked, or if data is otherwise shared with others, this puts users at real risk of extortion from others.

7. May Increase Other Criminal Activity

As AI improves it may increase other criminal activity, such as fraud. Imagine an AI boyfriend that looks and sounds exactly like your ex-partner. So good that it could fool their family and friends. This could easily be misused to access bank accounts and to transfer funds remotely.

8. How to Protect People’s Image/Likeness/Voice/Personality from Use Without Consent?

The idea that anyone could make an AI that looks and talks exactly like me is scary. Especially if it was so good that it could fool my family and friends. How do we protect people’s image/likeness/voice/personality from use without consent?

Conclusion

The tech companies making these AI boyfriends are clearly targeting vulnerable people to exploit them. AI boyfriends are promising people a sustained and prolonged fantasy, at a cost, but without explaining any of the risks or dangers to people beforehand. None of these companies are responsible or will be held accountable if, or should I say when, something goes wrong.

I think it is shocking that these companies are allowed to operate and sell their AI boyfriends in the UK, without any regulation or safeguarding of vulnerable people. I also worry about the lack of legislation from the UK Government around protecting people’s image/likeness/voice/personality from misuse or use without consent.

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Write soon,

Antony

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I recognise that people visiting this page/post might want to know where they can get support.
If you require support around your mental health, addiction or physical health, see this Support page here.

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There’s Nothing Quite Like Tooth Pain

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Last weekend, I had a Rituximab infusion aimed at keeping my vasculitis in remission. Then on Tuesday I started with pain in my lower jar and noticed that part of one of my wisdom teeth had broken away. I got an emergency Dentist appointment on Wednesday and had to have the tooth extracted.

Before the extraction and since, I’ve had pain in my lower jaw and face. There’s nothing quite like tooth pain is there? This actually reminds me what I’ve written about pain, in FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS:

Your Pain

Part of being alive is experiencing pain. There are different types of pain. Pain can be physical, mental or emotional. Any type of pain reduces your quality of life and will make you less happy.

You should address any pain promptly, to prevent it from getting worse and to promote healing.

Physical Pain
Physical pain is often managed, rather than cured or healed. Pain management can involve medications, exercises and sometimes surgery. Physical pain can be acute (coming on suddenly and is short term) or chronic (long term).

Acute physical pain is a sign that something is wrong inside your body. Chronic pain is caused by diseases and disorders inside your body. If you’re in physical pain, I highly recommend that you see your GP.

Your GP will complete an assessment, tests/investigations to work out the cause of the pain and work with you to develop a treatment plan.

A good example of physical pain is a broken leg. Imagine you fall and break your leg. You are in pain and seek medical attention. You have an x-ray that confirms the broken bone. You have surgery to repair it.
After surgery you have a period of immobilisation to allow the bone to heal and then have physiotherapy to regain muscle strength.

Within 3-6 months you are back to doing everything you used to do before the injury. Walking, running and dancing. Your leg is healed. You are healed.

Mental Pain
We don’t know enough about mental pain. Sometimes mental pain is managed, sometimes it is healed.

Mental pain is caused by mental illnesses. Sometimes mental illnesses run in families, suggesting that the cause could be genetic. Sometimes mental illnesses are caused by life events.

There are many different types of mental illnesses, some are acute and some are chronic. Examples of mental illnesses include anxiety, depression, bipolar and schizophrenia.

It can be difficult for a doctor to diagnose mental illnesses due to similar symptoms. Even Psychiatrists (doctors that specialise in mental health) have difficulty diagnosing mental illnesses.

Diagnosis of mental illnesses can take a significant amount of time. There’s no blood test or scans that can be completed to confirm whether an individual has mental illnesses or not, let alone which specific mental illness they have.

I would highly recommend that you see your GP if you are experiencing mental pain.

If you’re experiencing mental pain, don’t wait for a diagnosis. Start to manage your symptoms immediately, to the best of your ability.

In some cases people can fully recover from mental pain/illnesses. Whereas in other cases it is about long term management of symptoms.

Recovery from mental pain/illnesses doesn’t have set timescales. It usually takes months to years, depending on the individual and the circumstances. But every year many people do recover from mental pain/illnesses.

Emotional Pain
A conversation about emotional pain in western healthcare is not currently happening, but it needs to.

Symptoms of Pain
With all types of pain you will have a combination of physical, mental and emotional symptoms. Let me give you an example of this from my own life.

I once had severe stomach pains. They’d come and go, but were incredibly painful when present. I went to see my GP and had a range of tests/investigations. Everything came back normal.

However physically, my body always felt tight. Sometimes my chest felt tight, like it was difficult to breathe. At these times, my heart beat fast and I sweated excessively.

Eventually my GP diagnosed me with anxiety, a mental illness. I was prescribed medication and referred for therapy. It took several years, but I came to realise that my anxiety was often caused by my emotional state. Fear seemed to frequently trigger my anxiety.

I realised that in order to effectively treat my anxiety, I needed to address the fear. So that’s what I did.

Whatever symptoms of pain you have it is essential that you work out what it is and address the cause(s).

(From: FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS by Antony Simpson, 2026, pages 55-57.)

I’m currently on antibiotics and prescription painkillers. So I will be taking it easy this weekend.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Caroline Aherne: Queen of Comedy – BBC Documentary

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Caroline Aherne was the comedy genius responsible for The Mrs Merton Show and The Royale Family. Caroline was from Manchester, the North West of England.

Caroline had a tragic life including being born with a rare form of eye cancer, being a victim of domestic violence & abuse in her marriage, suffering with depression/possibly bipolar, alcohol dependency, bladder cancer and died of lung cancer at just 52 years old.

Despite all this tragedy and suffering, she had the wonderful gift of being naturally funny. It is for this talent and skill that she is remembered by friends in the BBC’s Caroline Ahern: Queen of Comedy documentary.

This excellent documentary is well worth a watch. It showed Caroline’s love of life with TV clips and interviews with friends, her humour and the impact she had on individuals lucky enough to know her.

So go check it out. Until next time,

Antony

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World Mental Health Day 2020: The Benefits of Investing in Mental Health

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Today is World Mental Health Day. This year’s theme is investment in mental health, so with this in mind, here are some benefits of investing in mental health :

  • A healthier populous. 1 in 4 people experience mental illness at any one time . That’s a quarter of the population. Just imagine if we could reduce this statistic.
  • It would reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and mental illness.
  • A better quality of life for people with mental illnesses and their families/friends.
  • Improved mood, self-awareness, coping strategies, self-esteem and relationships, for any individual with a mental illness.
  • Less people presenting in crisis due to earlier intervention.
  • A reduced suicide rate. Suicide is the biggest killer in men under the age of 45 here in the UK according to CALM.
  • Less working days missed due to mental illness. This would lead to a productivity boost.
  • More research into what interventions and medicines are effective in the treatment of mental illnesses.
  • It is cost effective, according to the World Health Organization (pages 18 & 19 ). Meaning that money invested would be returned back into society through cost savings.
  • Increase equality. Access to Healthcare is a Human Right, see my post The Human Rights Act (1998) Explained. The Human Rights Act (1998) was designed to increase equality.

I’m a strong advocate of increasing investment in mental health education and treatment.

Want to know more about mental health and mental illness? Then check out my book Mental Health Wisdom:

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Write soon,

Antony

Support

I recognise that people visiting this page/post might want to know where they can get support.
If you require support around your mental health, addiction or physical health, see this Support page here.

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