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5 Great Reasons to Come Out as Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual

By GayNo Comments

Today (Wednesday 11th October 2017) is National Coming Out Day. Coming out is when a gay man or lesbian woman disclose that they are attracted to the same sex to someone. Coming out for a bisexual is when they disclose that they are attracted to both sexes to someone.

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National Coming Out Day – Wednesday 11th October 2017.

Coming out is a process, rather than a singular experience and is a life long one. Gay, lesbian and bisexual people come out in all areas of their lives including: to family, to friends, to work colleagues, to health & social care professionals, etc. Coming out is diverse, some are out to everyone, some are only out to some people in their lives and some aren’t out at all.

All gay, lesbian and bisexual people remember their first coming out experience and sometimes choose to share their intimate stories with one another. These shared experiences, along with associated emotions can create strong empathetic bonds.

Trans people also go through the process of coming out. I’m not Trans, so this article will only focus on coming out for gay, lesbian and bisexual people.

This article gives 5 great reasons to come out as gay, lesbian or bisexual. But only come out if you feel that it is safe to do so. Don’t put yourself at risk of harm in any way. If you live in a country that mistreats, or persecutes, or where homophobia and biphobia is evident it may be safer not to come out.

Here’s 5 great reasons to come out:

5. More Chance of Meeting Mr or Ms Right
Being out will switch on your gaydar. Suddenly you’ll start to notice attractive gay men, or lesbian women or both sexes everywhere. Being out and becoming part of the out world will lead to more opportunities to meet Mr or Ms Right.

4. A New Lease of Life
Coming out will give you a new lease of life. You’ll become part of the gay community, which is rich with its own unique culture and many sub-cultures. There’s something for everyone in the gay community. You’ll make new friends, lovers and partners.

3. Acceptance
Gay, lesbian and bisexual people going through a process of self-acceptance prior to coming out to others. Part of coming out to others is about gaining acceptance from those you hold dear. Acceptance and tolerance for difference is something that has always been a struggle for humans. But slowly, in more and more countries around the world, we are becoming more tolerant, inclusive and accepting.

LGB (Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual) people in some places gave gained more rights and protections. In some places they have been given truer equality, just think about the legal right marry their partners.

In history most LGB were not able to marry their partners because they were of the same sex. Yet straight people have always been able to marry their partners. By allowing all to marry their partners, irrespective of gender, is true equality. You can read more about The History of Marriage (in the UK) here.

2. Happier and Healthier
You’ll be happier not keeping the secret from people. Keeping your sexuality is a secret is a lot of work: watching what you say, watching what you do and watching how you behave.

Add to the above saying, doing and behaving like others would expect a straight person to. Analysing situations in your head for a long time after they’ve happened, wondering if your act was good enough?

You will be mentally healthier as well. Those who are not out are more at risk of depression, anxiety and other mental health illnesses due to feelings of isolation and the burden of keeping the secret.

1. Be Yourself
Coming out gives you the chance to be your whole self, without having to hide one of the most important aspects of yourself.

Are there any other great reasons to come out? Leave a comment below.

Blog soon,

Antony



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Wednesday 11 October 2017

The Gay UK Article – My Come Out Reactions

By Creativity, Friends & Family, Gay, Journalism, LifeNo Comments
gay-world-large Some of you know that I regularly write for The Gay UK. I recently wrote an article under the theme of coming out for their Tridigital magazine (available to buy on iTunes App Store and Google Play Store) about people’s reactions when I came out gay. I enjoyed writing the article and thought you might enjoy reading it. So here it is:

I’m out to everybody. These days I rarely need to come out and say that I’m gay, but it wasn’t always like that. Over the years I’ve come out to family, friends, work colleagues and even my GP. There’s been mixed reactions from people when I’ve told them that I’m gay, but most have been positive. In this article I’ll share some of the most memorable with you.

Family
Coming out to my mum was one of the best things I ever did. I knew she would be supportive, as one of her best friend’s is gay. She acted as a proxy, telling other members of the family and family friends that I was gay so I didn’t have to. Some years later she did tell me that she was worried that I would have a more difficult life as a gay man as ‘people can be so cruel.’

The funniest reaction from a family member was when my mum told my Granddad. He told her that I ‘just haven’t met the right girl yet.’ This wasn’t homophobic, just a lack of understanding and naivety of the gay world. This naivety is wonderful and one of the many reasons I love him immensely. He used to work on the tills at what has been dubbed The Gay Sainsbury’s in Manchester. He never realised (and still hasn’t!) that all the gay couples are actually together.

When I came out to my older Brother, a sporty lads lad, he said: ‘You’re still my brother. And I still love you.’ This acceptance from him meant the world to me and it still does.

Friends
My friends and I don’t really remember me coming out. That means that it wasn’t really a big deal. It was said, accepted and then we moved on. But there’s always that one friend isn’t there? When I came out to him, he said: ‘Me too.’ We’re still friends today and our same sexuality helped to build the bonds of a lifelong friendship.

Work Colleagues
I’ve had many work colleagues over the years, all in different settings and the vast majority coming out has been done by answering the questions: ‘So how was your weekend? What did you get up to?’

However I did have one Born Again Christian work colleague who said: ‘I accept that this is how you feel, but it’s not part of gods plan. It says so in the bible.’ This was a face palm moment and I rarely spoke to him after that.

At one workplace a closeted lesbian work colleague saw the overwhelmingly positive reaction to me as an out gay man and this gave her the courage to talk about her life and her partner openly. Prior to me arriving she had avoided conversations about anything personal, but after seeing how our work colleagues reacted to my talk of gay pride and my relationships she became more open at work and seemed happier for it.

GP
I had gone to see my family GP, an older Asian man, about something and decided to disclose my sexuality to him. I think I was at the stage in coming out where you want to tell the world that you’re gay. He said: ‘it’s unnatural.’ And then resumed talking about what I had gone to see him about. This hurt. Said by a supposed non-judgemental professional. Whenever I hear someone say ‘unnatural’ it takes me right back to that consultation room and makes me feel really uncomfortable.

My coming out reactions have been in the vast majority positive. I have been accepted for who I am. But that’s not always the case. Gay people coming out face the fear of rejection, actual rejection and in some cases abuse or violence. If someone can’t accept you for who you are and recognise that your sexuality is an important part of who you are, you have to ask yourself a serious question: do you really want this person to be a part of your life? I know what my answer would be.

Blog soon,

Antony



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Thursday 2 October 2014

Proud of Tom Daley

By The Web, ThinkingNo Comments

I know it’s old news now; but Tom Daley recently revealed that he is in a relationship with a man. He made this disclosure on this YouTube video:

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My initial reaction was pride. All out gay or bisexual men have had to have these difficult conversations at some point, so I definitely empathised. These conversations are hard enough, but for Tom it must have been even more difficult given his position.

Tom is an Athlete in the Sporting Profession; and how many out gay professional Athlete’s or sports people do you know? Gareth Thomas the retired Rugby Player comes to mind, but he only came out as gay after he retired.

Then there’s Robbie Rogers a US Football Player, who used to play in the UK but no longer does. It is unbelievable that of the estimated 4,500 professional Football Players in the UK, he is the only gay or bisexual one. Statistics apparently show that 1 in 10 men are gay or bisexual, so it is likely that there are many professional footballers as well as other Athlete’s and sports people that haven’t come out.

The reason Athlete’s and sports people don’t come out is the stigma still attached with being gay in the sport industry. Professional sports people worry about losing fans, sponsors and ultimately their jobs. Tom will have been aware of all this and is very brave for risking all.

Tom Daley Christmas

I’ve read many journalistic reactions and opinion pieces on his disclosure. I’ve also read many supportive messages to him, along with some quite blatantly homophobic ones.

I wasn’t just proud that Tom had come out as being in a relationship with a man, but that he had put himself in a position of emotional vulnerability in search for acceptance. Acceptance is an innate human desire and in order to gain acceptance you have to let people know you.

Tom Daley Working I have pondered if Tom deliberately avoided using the words gay or bisexual, or even if these words needed to be said. I’m sure that Tom coming out will be a great role model to any gay teens struggling with their sexuality – what it means for them and their life.

If I were to give a message to Tom it would be this:

Thank you for sharing who you are. I wish you every happiness, you deserve it. Keep the people in your life that accept, love and care for you. The people that don’t this feel this way – don’t worry or waste your time thinking about them. Just keep working, living and loving who you are.

Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 17th January 2014.

Take care,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Saturday 21 December 2013
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