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5 Years Ago Today

By Friends & Family, ThinkingNo Comments
coloured-helium-balloons

(Image From: Pinterest.)

 Five years ago today, at just eighteen years old my younger brother had a heart attack and died. Two weeks later he was laid to rest among a sea of bright colours. We wanted his funeral to be a celebration of life, particularly his life, rather than a dark recognition of his death. He loved bright colours – so we asked people to wear them to his funeral and they did.

He once said that he was popular, we didn’t realise just how true this was. People came in their numbers, many more than expected. The church pews filled and many people had to stand up at the back of the church.

We continue this celebration of his life today. Later we will send brightly coloured helium balloons into the night’s sky, complete with written messages to him tacked onto the ribbon of the balloons.

To me, sometimes it feels like an eternity since Alex’s death. Sometimes it feels as though it happened yesterday. Sometimes I forget that it’s happened at all, then something will trigger my memory and my heart is flooded with the pain caused by his death.

At one time I avoided any photos of Alex. I avoided anyone one who reminisced, sharing a memory of Alex. I found photos and shared memories uncomfortable, as they reminded me of the truth of his death.

But as the years have passed, I’ve started to deal with the loss. I’ve realised that death is death. But grief is disbelief, not understanding and pain. Grief is a mystical thing, one that is variable and changes everyday.

Now, today, I can look at a photo of Alex with a smile. I can remember a happy memory and even share it with others. It’s taken five years, and I’m still working on it. But maybe the passage of time has allowed some acceptance within my heart. So here is a photo of him:

My Darling Baby Brother

My Darling Baby Brother

Blog soon,

Antony

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Wednesday 13 January 2016

Prison Architect: Alex’s Name in the Game

By Friends & Family, GamesNo Comments

I’ve been a supporter of Prison Architect since the pre-alpha. Prison Architect is a game in which you build, manage and maintain a prison. The Player manages every aspect of the prison including: the staff, the prisoners, the routine, the rehabilitation programmes etc. Here is a trailer for Prison Architect:

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The more I played Prison Architect, the more I thought of Alex, my deceased younger brother and that he would have loved the game. So I bought a pre-alpha package that allowed me to put his Name in the Game as a Prisoner. Here he is:

pa-name-in-the-game-alex-jc-simpson

Alex’s Name in the Game (Click image for full size)

I got to choose what the character looked like – I opted for brown spiky hair, the character’s date of birth – I put Alex’s in and option to write a short bio for the Prisoner Alex ‘JC’ Simpson. Here’s what I wrote, mainly intending to be funny:

“Alex ‘JC’ Simpson is a notorious criminal in his region of origin. Manipulative, clever and cunning. Never completely take your eyes off him. Has a long history of crime, dating back to when he was born. He says ‘The Feds have got nothing on me.'”

I like to think he would have liked to be Named in the Game. It’s coming up to five years since he passed away and I still think of him everyday.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Saturday 9 January 2016

My Yearly Review

By Friends & Family, Gigs & Shows, Happiness & Joy, Life, Thinking, TV, Online Streaming & FilmsNo Comments

Welcome to my yearly review. 2013 has been a great year; both for me and my creative writing. There’s so much to tell you about my writing that I’ve given My Awesome Year in Words it’s own post on my Writer Website. Here I shall focus on my personal life.

Alex Memorial 1 - Chinese Lanterns In January I did Something Uncomfortable, which was attending Alex’s Chinese lantern memorial. It was something I had always avoided, and became part of my New Experiences for 2013.

In February I went to a friend’s 50th birthday party and one of my nephew’s 18th birthday party. I undertook my February Photo Challenge.

free-speech-06.03.13-E March came along and I was on TV – Live To The Nation! Although an exciting, uncomfortable and anxiety ridden experience, it was also one of great learning. Educating me in the world of the media. And unbeknown to me at the time, it wasn’t going to be my last excursion into the media world this year. Oh and I got an iPhone 5.
My Birthday Presents - Happy Birthday Cake

My Birthday Presents – Happy Birthday Cake

 I did so much in May. I had a great Bank Holiday Weekend. I celebrated my twenty seventh birthday by seeing friends and family; they got me some fab Birthday Presents. I got an extra special birthday present off the wonderful Writer Mel Bossa. I had a Cumbria Adventure. I enjoyed this Get Lucky Cover, as well as the original song by Daft Punk.
Rocky Horror Show 2013 In June, Steve came to live with me. We went watching The Rocky Horror Show. It’s a night out that I’ll remember for a very long time. I remembered Something I Forgot Along The Way.
Outside Rivington Castle - Covered In Greenery

Outside Rivington Castle – Covered In Greenery

 July was filled with good times. I bought A Flashy New Car – Olly, The Citroen DS3. I attended Pagan Con for the first time and discovered Posh Coffee: The Flavour Collection from Douwe Egberts. I had some time off work and had an adventure in Rivington (see Rivington Adventure: Lever Castle and Rivington Adventure: Ruins & The Picni). I even witnessed A Sensational Sunset.
up4ameet3 In August my iMac Hard drive failed and I took it to the Apple Store for repair. Steve and I went watching Up4aMeet? – An Evening of Naked, Gay, Laugh-Out-Loud Comedy. I started reading the Gone Series.
More Minions!

More Minions!

 In September I watched Despicable Me 2 and Percy Jackson – Sea of Monsters at the cinemas. I started Reading for Pleasure.
Me Wicked Outside Manchester In October Steve and I went watching Wicked at Manchester Palace Theatre. I had a bug, got offered a job which I initially accepted and then later declined. My contract at work got made permanent. I got interviewed on BBC Radio 5 Live.

I started regular Reiki treatments at Halsa Healing. Jayne and I went to Castlerigg Stone Circle for Samhain.
Stephen Lynch LIVE My cousin and I saw Stephen Lynch in Manchester in November. I donated to two Homelessness charities.
My Christmas Presents

Presents People Bought Me

 In December I bought an iPad, went to Manchester Christmas Market and spent Christmas with family and friends.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Saturday 28 December 2013

Something Uncomfortable

By Life, ThinkingNo Comments

This year I’ve set myself a challenge a month to try something new (see New Experiences for 2013). January’s was to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I planned to get semi-naked for a full body massage; although this might not sound like a challenge, is for body conscious me. But in the end, I opted for something that I expected to be a challenge on a much deeper level.

Every year since Alex died, those that knew him come together on his anniversary and set off Chinese Lanterns in his memory. I have always avoided this memorial, the thought of going has always filled me with nausea deep in the pit of my stomach. So I decided that this would be my something uncomfortable and went:

Alex Memorial 1 - Chinese Lanterns

Alex Memorial 2 - Chinese Lanterns

Alex Memorial 3 - Chinese Lanterns

I don’t quite know what I dreaded; but whatever it was the experience wasn’t anything like I had expected. Despite the cold and flakes of snow, I felt warmed with the memories of happier times shared. The experience taught me to be aware of my own preconceptions and reminded me that we are all interconnected to one another.

So next time you are faced with an offer to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, try saying yes. It might not be as bad as you fear, in fact it could be the complete opposite.

Take care,

Antony

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Thursday 28 February 2013
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