Love & Relationships

Keeping you updated…

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I have been extremely busy recently (see Mad Busy) and coming up to the Christmas/New Year break its got even worse, if that’s possible? I hope to write up a number of blog posts sitting in my WordPress Drafts Box during the Christmas/New Year break. But in the mean time here’s a brief update:

University
Regular readers will know that back in September I started back doing two modules at Uni. (see Back to University) Well I’m still really behind on the work I MUST get my head down and do some of the work before the deadline in the first week of January. I have:

  • 1 Assignment to tweak
  • 1 Assignment to complete (I have started it but its more difficult than I thought!)
  • About 8 workshops to complete
  • What’s worse is I just can’t seem to get motivated.

    Christmas / Yule Preparations
    I have bought everybody’s presents, even exchanged some. A few suprises for people that I picked up at the weekend need wrapping. I also need to organise to visit some people to exchange gifts. I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my family and friends.

    Lots of self-bought Yule presents
    I decided a few months back as I’m single and it is my first christmas in my new apartment (see The Move.) I was going to buy myself a few gifts to open Christmas day morning. So I bought myself a few bits ‘n’ bats and then on a whim when I got paid this month treated myself to some purchases on Amazon:

  • Eddie Izzard – 7 [DVD] (also see 7 by Eddie Izzard)
  • Mum Can You Lend Me Twenty Quid?
  • How NOT to Write a Novel
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Pagan Visions for a Sustainable Future
  • Ha ha, I think I’ve spent more on myself than on everyone else put together. Feeling so self-centred but quite satisfied at the same time.

    Love Life
    JB and I have continued to see each other as friends (see Honest Conversations, Cards on the table & Tastilious Food with a BUT…) and decided to go on a date between Christmas and New Years.

    He had been planning a supprise for me on Christmas Eve but didn’t tell me and I have organised to catch up with some family and some friends to exchange gifts and catch up. He was gutted, I felt guilty and stupid (for making the assumption he knows what I do christmas eve, every year!). But it’s sorted with good communication and we are going to do it on the date. Have kind of a full day and evening together. He has been very patient with me considering how mad busy I’ve been in the last few weeks and I hope is patience will remain in the next two weeks which are still likely to be manic due to the looming Uni deadline.

    Other Stuff
    There’s loads of other stuff thats been going on that I haven’t had chance to blog about yet. But will do when life is less manic!

    Keeping you updated and informed as always,

    Antony

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    Tom Dick and Sally – Online Dating

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    It’s coming up to Christmas and I’ve been noticing a lot of couples around. I recently joined Tom Dick and Sally a gay dating website. It was accidental as I clicked on a link on Facebook. Here’s what their website said:

    Our vision was to create a same sex dating website which you could show to your friends and family without feeling embarrassed. There is a time and a place for naked pics covered in baby oil; maybe it’s not when you’re trying to get a second opinion on the suitability of a potential date!

    It also said that their aim was to help gay men find long term relationships. I liked the ethos of this site, unlike Gaydar and Fitlads that seem sex-based one time meet up. On Tom Dick and Sally they give you a personality test and provide matches based on your personality test. Here were my results:

    What do you think? Accurate description of me?

    Unfortunately all my matches they recommend live too far, miles and miles away. 🙂 But was interesting to discover more about my personality.

    Take care,

    Antony

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    An Unsent Letter

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    I’ve mentioned before that I find writing this blog theraputic (see My Writing Process – for some of my better blog posts). Sometimes it seems we can’t say what we feel to people but we feel that we need to express this emotion. So I decided a month ago to write an unsent letter.

    The idea is basically that you write a letter to the person expressing how you feel, but you don’t actually send it. So a month ago today, I wrote this letter:

    Dear name,

    Before we met I had noticed you and it seems that you had noticed me too. I was attracted to your deep dark eyes that showed your caring, playful nature and your beautiful body. We met and chatted, you were full of dreams and aspirations. Things started to develop, at times you confused me, did my head in but my heart always loved you. We had an intimate night in which I felt my heart explode with emotions of joy. The truth is that I often relive that night in my mind, the rollercoaster of emotions I felt and then remember that life got in the way.

    I care for you deeply and have a desire for you to find happiness. It is obvious that in my ideal world it would be with me. But this is not an ideal world and you are not with me.

    You have become part of the gay culture in Manchester. You seem to have taken on their values, that gay men are to be used for sex. This was confirmed when you sent that facebook message saying I should fuck you, even though you have a boyfriend. Where has the caring, playful and full of aspiration name gone? It seems you have no aspirations other to be in this relationship you are in. Where has the idea of going to Uni gone? Where’s the contact with your family that you highly valued at one time?

    I guess change in people is inevitable. Just try and stay true to that lovely guy you were when I first met you.

    With all my love always,

    Antony

    I deliberately removed the name, but he will know who he is. This is partly because he will recognise our unique relationship and partly because I accidently-on-purpose sent the letter over Facebook.

    Did I miss the point of this exercise? Well no. You see this person and I don’t talk often any more, so what did I have to loose?

    He replied about a day later via text:
    Idk [I don’t know] what to say. X
    I replied:
    I’d sussed that. I needed to express how I feel. I wasn’t gonna send it then I thought what hav I got to loose? We dnt tlk anymore. A x x x

    A day or so later we bumped in to each other and talked. It came out that he likes me but that he felt hurt from what happened last time. I can understand that. And in honesty, it was my fault. I messed up. There was a lot going round in my head at the time and a lot going on in my life.

    I don’t know what I expected him to say? I know what I’d of liked him to say – that was in the letter. I am pleased he read it and I’m pleased that he let me know how he felt and feels. I guess that’s all I could of asked for.

    Take care,

    Antony

    The song I was listening to when I wrote the letter:

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    Need to talk to you

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    Text sent:
    What are your plans for Saturday? 🙂

    Text recieved:
    Not sure but will discuss it when I call, need to talk to you

    So I called the date who shall remain nameless. He said that he wanted to develop a friendship rather than a relationship. This is fine. We’d only seen each other a few times, so nothing was really invested. No risk, no gain, apparently. I like to stay friends with all those people I’ve dated (not that there’s been that many!), so that’s good.

    He did invite me to the cinemas on Saturday, which we’d orignally intended to be our second date. So I declined. I explained that we needed to keep clear boundaries and maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but another time?

    I thanked him for our date as I genunially enjoyed it. In reflection it also increased my confidence, just to know that someone was interested in me and it proved I was still able to attract the interest.

    Write soon,

    Antony

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