Boyfriend-W and I first met when with his deep brown eyes met mine as he flashed me a cheeky smile. He serves me behind his bar. He makes some flirty comment to which I say something along the lines of:
“A good looking guy like you wouldn’t be single?”
He replies “You’d be wrong.”
I lean forward as If I’m going to say something for his ears only and say “Then you’d be a player?”
He looks deep in to my eyes and repeats “Then you’d be wrong.”
He glances around the bar sensing that other customers needed serving and leaves me to it.

Later that evening I’m sat in Peppermint bar when he comes in and sits opposite me. The bar is very dark with mirrored walls, a square shaped bar with bar stools around it. The main source of lighting are red lights that illuminate the ash trays dotted around the bar. An older Irish bloke is talking to me, old enough to be my granddad and Boyfriend-W is chatting to some of his friends.
“Right well I’m out of fags and I’ve finished my drink, I’m off home.” I announce to the customers in the bar, rather tipsy.
“Oh do you want a fag.” he says leaning over the bar handing me one. But I quickly get drawn back in to conversation with the Irish guy as does Boyfriend-W does with his friends.

Roll on to the second night and I’m back Peppermint bar enjoying my drink. The guy sat next to me leaves, leaving the only empty bar stool in the bar. I had learned not to look at the door when it opens as you can’t see who’s coming in because of the outside street lighting is so bright compared with the darkness of the bar. Someone sits next to me on the empty bar stool, I look and then look again realising it’s Boyfriend-W. We say hello and start chatting. One of the wonderful things about Boyfriend-W is the fact he’s honest. He stated that I was wrong to prejudge him and I and apologised. Since I’ve thought about it and he’s totally right. But more importantly I know why I did it: my emotional barriers that I have to protect me. When somebody helps me realise something about myself, I can’t help but feel interested in a person. Already finding him physically attractive I became even more attractive as I discovered he’s funny, caring and very intelligent. So that’s how we met and got talking.

The following night he invited me to stay at his and I did. Followed by spending several days at his, enjoying his company, his friend J who lives with him and the dog and cat. He cooked while I stated over – the most amazing food. He’s such a good cook. I’ve been honest and told him I don’t cook – but I did my share of the cleaning up afterwards. We got in a little routine of me doing my own thing in the afternoons (usually sun-bathing), meeting up at his bar in the evenings and then going out for drinks after he finished work. And then one day, just sat having a brew his couch in the afternoon watching TV he asked me out. I accepted, knowing that he was coming over to where I live to visit family next week, so it wouldn’t be too long until we saw one another again.

On my last full day in Benidorm pulled a face and said:
“You know I’ll have to stay at my hotel on my last night. As I’ve gotta be checked out by twelve and I’ve gotta pack my case and everything.”
“Check out early and stay here. I’ll drive you back to your hotel, you pack your case, I’ll meet you later in the bar and then we’ll go and pick up your case. Then tomorrow I’ll drive you back in time for your coach.”
“Okay.”

In part 3 I’ll do a gay guide to the gay pubs and clubs in the Old Town of Benidorm and mention the purpose built new town.

Write soon,

Antony

After deciding I needed Time Out, off I jetted on a plane with plenty of books to read (Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella – review coming soon, promise; The Self-Preservation Society by Kate Harrison; Look Back in Hunger: The Autobiography by Jo Brand; Pagan Visions for a Sustainable Future by Ly De Angeles, et al; I am What I am by John Barrowman; The Rapture by Liz Jensen; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson and The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures: The Ultimate A-Z of Fantastic Beings from Myth and Magic by John & Caitlin Matthews).

The locals were wearing their coats, hats, scarfs and glovers and looked at me like I was a crazy person or some sort of tourist sun-bathing topless on the beach.

Plenty of good food, drink and good times were had. I went there as a singledom and came back with a boyfriend. The story of Boyfriend-W (as he shall be named for now) will be revealed in Part 2.

Blog soon,

Antony

Following on from the Weekend (see A Weekend Away, Up North – Adventure 1) E and I have been in touch quite a bit. When I asked him about this weekend, he said he was unavailable.

E said that he couldn’t commit to any sort of relationship right now because of stuff (I have more details than just “Stuff” but that’s his private info that I’d never publish). A few more messages where exchanged as I was really confused at one point. I managed to establish that he likes me and he wants to keep in contact. I think perhaps as well as the stuff going on there’s fear?

Fear of being hurt, the safer option to avoid/run away from anything that could hurt you. I geninually think that he likes me as much as I like him. So I’ve left it open, I’ve basically said: I still like you. I want to continue to get to know you. I am happy to message/speak on the telephone but I’d also like at some point to see you in person again.

Any advice? It’s always welcome and listened too.

A little-gutted Antony

Last weekend I went to meet someone I had been chatting too for a long time. I had met him on Tom Dick and Sally. At first I thought E was physically attractive and as I got to know him, he became even more so. I found him to be quick witted, playful, serious and caring. I also discovered that he was pagan and a diabetic like me too.

The drive “Up North” was beautiful. The sun shone and either sides of my car were bare trees and green fields, often filled with sheep. As I got further North hills revealed themselves, topped with sprinkles of snow. I arrived. E met me at the BnB. He had said when we were making the arrangements that I didn’t need to stay in a BnB, but I insisted. I needed my safety net, somewhere I could escape to if it went horribly wrong. As it happened, it didn’t go horribly wrong, quite the opposite in fact.

We went for lunch at a 1960’s style diner. We chatting and then headed out in the cold to his place. On arrival at his self contained flat I snooped around, trying to take in every detail. A shower room, a Kitchen and then a living / bedroom. The living-bedroom had a TV on a unit with a small two seater couch opposite it. A shelf was stacked with videos, next to a window. On the window ledge a collection of crystals and a small wooden box.

In the back corner a single bed with a bookshelf next to it, it had the most eclectic collection of books on it. I looked over the books tempted to pick up many that interested me. Next a wardrobe showing his diverse taste in clothes. Then I saw a cage with the cutest rat in it. I debated the rats cuteness as I saw E’s altar. I smiled to myself knowing that every item had been carefully placed there for a reason. Finally I saw his DVD collection and stated that I was impressed, he likes some of the things that I like.

We commented on how similar we were and I stated that we probably had some differences as well which would make it an interesting and fun weekend. Later on in the evening we went to the bar where he works. He was a bit apprehensive about taking me as his ex was playing in the band. E stated that his ex had been texting him, asking him to come and see him perform.

We bought drinks and I met his friend Eilidh who I was told was a fantastic singer. I listened to a track on E’s Ipod and had to hear more. So I bought a copy of her CD – which is saying something, because I never buy CD’s. I’ve listened to it, my faviourate tracks are Jane Austen House and particular relating to E – Thinking of You. You can learn more about Eilidh Freeden on her facebook fan page: Eilidh Freedens Songs @ Facebook.

E wasn’t drinking and was driving us home. But he said that I could have a drink so I did. A few vodka’s. As the alcohol started to kick in and I was starting to become tipsy his ex came in. He came over to E and said Hi. He made it obvious that he was checking him out he even looked at me before he did it. I watched the conversation unfold and after he went off to set up I smiled to myself. E was aware that his ex had checked him out (how could anyone not with how obvious he was?). The reason for my smile, E didn’t check him out back or give any sign of interest. In fact E looked like he was being polite and only making the mandatory small talk with the ex.

We listened to his ex sing with the band. He was ok, although I felt that he lacked any expression of emotion in his voice or performance. That in my opinion is the difference between a good singer and an excellent singer – the ability to express emotion and make the crowd feel it too. I was explaining this to one of E’s other friends who was in the bar with her parents. E actually agreed with me.

E kindly drove me home to his. I had a brew and sensing that he was tired walked home in the arctic like conditions to my BandB. I got in and will you believe the heating wasn’t on? I shivered in bed and when I finally fell asleep I woke every time I rolled over to the freezing sheets that hadn’t been warmed by my body heat. Needless to say I won’t be staying there again, but then again I wont be staying in any BnB, I will be staying with E.

Before I knew it, it was Sunday. We did some shopping and grabbed some lunch. At some point prior to this, we’d decided we were dating one another and that I’d be coming up again. After our good byes, I reluctantly headed on my drive home. As I came in to my home town I saw a light dusting of snow covered the ground. I thought about the weekend – what an adventure. I can’t wait to travel “Up North” again, as I know who’ll be waiting for me when I get there.

Write soon,

A happy Antony

A lovely evening of romance was had with JB. Earlier in the afternoon we had gone watching Avatar, bless him I think he only went watching it because I really wanted to see it. It was ace, but I’ll hopefully blog a review another time (if I get chance!).

As JB pottered around the kitchen while I got to enjoy the wine he’d brought. He’d brought wine, all the food and Christmas presents for me all in a big brown box that he had to keep me away from. It was like a game of cat and mouse at one point as I tried to discover what was actually in the box. Then he turned to me and said: “I need you to go in the bathroom.”
“But I don’t need to go.” I responded.
“Just trust me and go and wait in there for 2 minutes.” He said eyes widening as if to say – just go with it.

After a few minutes I am realised from the bathroom to find a lighted candle, two places set on the breakfast bar and some crackers. He encouraged me to pull one, so I did. Inside the usual golden hat, bad joke and then rather unusally a slip of paper. JB reveals that my presents are hidden throughout the apartment and that each cracker contains a clue to where they are.

An evening of eating good food, present hunting, drinking wine and good company followed. We talked about all sorts. Although the evening got to a point were I was ready for bed (let’s just say I hadn’t realised how strong the wine was) and he went to bed in the guest room. Now that is impressive for a gay man to be happy to go to all that effort and not try it on.

I know what your thinking Spoilt and your right. But in my defence, I did do the cleaning afterwards.

Write soon,

Antony