Just over a year ago, I felt numb and like I was coasting through life. I was existing, rather than living. I hadn’t been well for a while and had recently been diagnosed with vasculitis.
People with vasculitis have a significantly reduced life expectancy when compared to that of the average person. This diagnosis caused me to re-think every aspect of my life. It caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.
So then I started asking myself: What would make you happier? I had to look at everything: my health, my work, my relationships with others, my passions (including writing), my finances, my home life, my mental & emotional health.
It was a daunting task. Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.
Change is always hard. Our brains like patterns of behaviour. They are key to our survival as a species, but not key to a healthier and happier life.
So I got counselling. I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes: prioritising my health, changing jobs, working with others to improve relationships – resetting of expectations and putting in boundaries, getting back on the dating apps, working on a more balanced approach to pursuing my passions, reducing my financial outgoings were possible and trying harder to stick to a budget, getting rid of excess clutter at home and generally taking better care of my mental and emotional health.
None of it was easy. And I’m still not where I want to be. But I’m pleased to say my health has improved in some areas such as my diabetes management & mental health. I am also happier than I can ever remember being.
Write soon,
Antony
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This deeply resonant piece reminds me that embracing change, even when difficult, can lead to profound happiness. Antony’s vulnerability and journey feel incredibly relatable.
(Link removed due to being advertising. – Antony)
Hi Manus,
Thanks for the comment.
BW,
A x