‘Mr Perfect,’ a piece of my journalistic writing is on TheGayUK:
Here is the full article:
Mr Perfect
Can someone ever have no vices? Be so flawless that they seem perfect? And if so, is perfection what we seek? In this article, I’ll share an experience I had a few years ago; along with a realisation I had about aspiring to be perfect.
I met this devilishly hansom guy online. We exchanged a few messages and decided to meet up. I took all the usual precautions when meeting up with someone from the online world: I arranged to meet him in a public place (a well known coffee shop), let a friend know who I was meeting and what time I’d call in safe.
He was one of those people that look even more stunning in real life than in their profile pictures. He had short-cropped hair, deep hazel eyes, a five o’clock shadow and his fitted tee a showed off a taut body. Our first coffee date went well and I established that he wasn’t an axe-wielding murderer.
We shared a few dinner dates, a cinema date and even a countryside walk with a picnic date. I discovered that he didn’t smoke and rarely drank. When he did have an alcoholic beverage, he’d only have one or two. He told me that he liked to go to the gym three to four times a week and easily got his five-a-day in one meal.
When my friends asked how it was going between us, I referred to him as Mr Perfect. I explained that I couldn’t find a single vice or flaw that he had. Comparing Mr Perfect with myself gave me a twinge of inadequacy. I had plenty of vices; I smoked and liked the occasional alcohol-fuelled night out. On top of these I was a chocoholic; lazy at times and could only manage to eat three of my five-a-day.
Mr Perfect had noticed my vices and flaws. He was too polite to point them out, but did suggest that I try to cut down on the amount I smoked and offered to sign me in as a guest at his gym.
Then one day I had a eureka moment; I realised that Mr Perfect’s vice was aspiring to be perfect. That he spent all of his time trying to be flawless. Mr Perfect wanted every aspect of his life to be perfect including his potential boyfriend: me.
I grew up with Disney films that showed me that the ideal man, Prince Charming is hansom and flawless. And I thought that’s what I wanted; until I had Mr Perfect sat opposite me. We had a conversation and decided not to date anymore.
I realised that as much as Mr Perfect aspired to be perfect, whatever his definition of that was, that he’d never achieve it. As every time he gets close, he’ll move the goal posts further away. Perfection is an unachievable goal, like trying to live for eternity.
Through my experience with Mr Perfect I discovered what I want in a man. I want a man that has vices and flaws; as these are part of what makes us unique, diverse and multi-faced individuals. Remember – those who truly love us, accept us for our whole selves, flaws and all.
Here is what I learnt from writing this article:
- I can write something even when I’ve been on nights and with a short deadline.
- I reverted to storytelling, probably due to the deadline. I could have wrote the article in a more journalistic way.
- I can say a lot with 534 words.
- A few typos. I need to finish articles or short stories a day before the deadline, take a 24 hour break and then complete a final re-read before submitting.
TheGayUK have also published another one of my book reviews: BOOK REVIEW: Strange Bedfellows by Rob Byrnes.
Write soon,
Antony
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I couldn’t agree more: I suppose you can find physical perfection (or your own idea of it) but in the words of the old cliche’ beauty is only skin deep
Sometimes I think an imperfection can be endearing – to go back to an earlier thread, Russell Howard constantly puts himself down for his “wonky eye”, but I never see it: what I see is a pleasant bloke, down to earth, with a warm nature, a love of life and optimism, and, without labouring it, shows inspiring stories about people with great physical personal difficulties overcoming them. I never honestly see the “wonky eye”, but if he were physically perfect he would probably not have the same personality – he was bullied at school, he has a younger brother who has epilepsy, and he is the man he is because of his experiences.
I also feel, that, however nicely it is done, if somebody tries to make you into the person THEY want you to be, rather than accept you for who you are, it shows a degree of wanting to “control”, and wanting to control suggests a lack of tolerance. The great thing about being human is that as you say we are all unique and we have this collection of the better and not-so-good qualities.
I’d go for warmth and understanding any day over physical beauty
Hi Mark,
Thanks for your comment :-).
I totally agree that people who want to change you, especially your vices and flaws can’t really love you. As someone that loves you would love the good, the bad & the ugly.
A x