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The Healthy Relationship Checklist

By Love & Relationships, Thinking2 Comments

How do you know if you’re in a healthy relationship or not? Find out more below.

relationship-gender-symbols

Relationship Gender Symbols. Copyright © Antony Simpson, 2018.

If you are in a healthy relationship you should tick most of the boxes on the checklist below:
Unticked Box You can do things independently, without getting a hard time from your partner. You can explore interests, have hobbies, etc.
Unticked Box You can communicate openly and honestly with your partner without negative judgement or fear.
Unticked Box You never have to hide anything from your partner.
Unticked Box You get support from your partner when you are vulnerable.
Unticked Box Your partner encourages and supports you in everything that you do.
Unticked Box You have shared your dreams and hopes with your partner.
Unticked Box You and your partner have shared ambitions for your life together.
Unticked Box You feel safe: physically, mentally and emotionally.
Unticked Box You have regular contact with friends and family members.
Unticked Box Your partner never makes you feel bad for spending time with others.
Unticked Box Your partner always shows you respect.
Unticked Box You and your partner laugh together.
Unticked Box You and your partner listen to one another.
Unticked Box You and your partner both approach the relationship as a learning experience.
Unticked Box Your relationship adds something to both you and your partner’s life.
Unticked Box Your partner speaks to you with kindness.
Unticked Box Your friends and family honestly think your relationship is a healthy one.
Unticked Box Your relationship started with vulnerability, connection and intimacy.
Unticked Box You would use these words to describe your relationship: trust, warmth and attachment.
Unticked Box Your partner never belittles you.
Unticked Box Neither your partner or yourself displays contempt for the other. No eye rolling. No squinting at them as if to say what are you talking about?
Unticked Box You don’t feel controlled or manipulated.
Unticked Box Your partner is never aggressive or violent towards anyone or anything. This includes: you, any children and any pets or animals.
Unticked Box Your partner knows where the line is and doesn’t cross it. Either accidentally or purposefully.
Unticked Box You feel equal to your partner in the relationship.
Unticked Box You like the way you grown and changed while you’ve been in the relationship.
Unticked Box You and your partner express appreciation and admiration for one another.
Unticked Box You have fun together.
Unticked Box Your partner offers comfort, love and support when you’re upset, stressed or fearful.
Unticked Box You make decisions jointly.
Unticked Box You are intimate. By intimate I mean hugs, cuddles, kisses, holding hands, being close to one another and sex.
Unticked Box You and your partner don’t argue constantly.
Unticked Box Your partner loves and likes you when you look and feel at your worst.
Unticked Box Your family and friends like your partner.

If you think or feel that you maybe in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, the following websites have useful information on:

Blog soon,

Antony

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Saturday 26 May 2018

1 Life Lesson I’ve Learned for Every Year of My Adult Life

By ThinkingNo Comments

Life is about growth through learning and experience. So here’s 1 lesson life has taught me for every year of my adult live:

Age 18 – The importance of good and lifelong friendships. What makes a good friend including care, kindness, a sense of humour and loyalty.

Age 19 – The importance of having joy in my life. Creating opportunities for joy, seeking it out and chasing it are all essential activities for me.

Madame Tussaunds Blackpool on a thrown

Me on a thrown
Antony-Simpson-Writer

Me

Age 20 – That I’m never going to please everyone. Not everyone will like me or get me. That doesn’t mean I should stop trying. If I can make somebody laugh with a funny story or a joke, I’m going to do it. The smile or laughter is always worth it for me.

I just accept that not everyone is going to be pleased with what I do or don’t do. As long as I am happy with my intentions, actions and omissions, that’s good enough for me.

Age 21 – A diagnosis of a chronic illness (in my case type 1 diabetes) starts with grief. I mourned the loss of my working pancreas and cursed my faulty immune system.

Age 22 – Independence is extremely important to me. Getting my driving licence and being smothered in a relationship both helped me to realise this.

Age 23 – In the outside world many people are far to happy to psychologically tear strips off you. So inside your home should feel safe, full of compassion and be filled with a feeling of care. How I felt at home when I was younger and buying my own apartment helped me to realise this.

Age 24 – Sometimes I just have to do certain things, otherwise I’d always wonder What if?

Heartbreak sometimes heals with the passage of time. A lot of time. More than days, weeks or months. Years. Sometimes even longer than that.

Sometimes the heart doesn’t heal at all, it just scabs over like a scraped knee. Ready for you to pick at it or for something to come along and reopen the wound.

Age 25 – Not everyone gets to live a full and long life. This feels unfair. Life is precious.

The shock of an unexpected death is a thousand times worse than the grief of the loss. It is spiritually, mentally and emotionally exhausting. The disbelief that comes from the shock can last years and make it impossible to grief.

Age 26 – There’s something magic about new babies and they smell totally awesome.

Age 27 – The past is a nice place to visit, the future is a nice place to imagine, but you shouldn’t live in either of them. Live in the present.

Age 28 – The extreme highs and lows of mood I’ve had since my teenage years are not normal. Most people have a pretty stable mood.

Mood stabiliser and antidepressant medications saved more than just my mind, they saved my life.

Age 29 – Travel broadens my mind, fills my heart with goodness and strengthens my soul. If you have the opportunity to travel do. I learned this through visiting India, which has a special place in my heart.

IndiaJuly2015-TajMahal-8

Me with the Taj Mahal in the background (2).

Age 30 – Creativity enriches every aspect of myself. Stories (written, films, etc.) ignite my imagination and develop my empathy. Art and sculptures help me appreciate the beauty that the creators saw in the world around them or in their mind. Music helps me to feel and gives me the opportunity to dance.

To create something, whatever it is, is a learning process. Sometimes creative projects go well, other times not. But I always learn things from them. The process of creating something makes me feel alive and all lit up – even if it’s just a blog post like this one.

To share something I’ve created with the world makes me super-anxious. But when somebody tells me that my creative project has had some sort emotional resonance with them it becomes a privilege.

soulmates-cover-page

Soulmates (Short Story)
The Finished Product: My homemade candles look great (1).

The Finished Product: Just 1 of the 22 completed (unlit).

The Good Teen (Short Story)

Age 31 – When you do something you love for a job, it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like a vocation and a passion.

Write soon,

Antony

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Thursday 22 February 2018

Book Review: Fuse by Julianna Baggott

By Books & Authors, Reviews2 Comments
fuse-book-cover Fuse by Julianna Baggott is the second book in the Pure Trilogy. Pure was the first book and my review describes Pure as a brilliant read and full to bursting with original ideas.

Fuse was already on My Book Schedule when Headline Publishing approached me asking if I wanted a preview edition to read and review on my blog. When I knew it was on it’s way my #Fusebook Excitement made me buzz.

When Fuse arrived I put down whatever else I had been reading and immediately started it. After reading Pure, I had high expectations for Fuse and I am pleased to say that it completely exceeded them.

Before I tell you about the book, I need make clear that I’m going to avoid giving away any spoilers. This is mainly to avoid any death threats from massive fans (like myself) of the Pure Trilogy.

Fuse begins by re-introducing the main characters and what’s happened since the end of Pure. Pressia & Bradwell are now being hidden by the new OSR headed by El Captain. The OSR has changed since El Captain took over. Gone are the death sprees and ruling by fear; now the OSR are offering recruits to their army food & shelter small acts of kindness in exchange for their help to take down the Dome.

Pressia spends her time making prosthetic limbs for some of the children of the families who’ve joined the OSR army. Pressia keeps Bradwell at arm’s length fearing losing another person she loves. Bradwell uses the time to explore the six black boxes they found in Pure continuing his search for the truth. Bradwell discovers that the first five boxes are like libraries containing thousands of books; but the sixth box that he names Finnigan is different. Finnigan has liking for taking samples of DNA and seemingly has a personality.

Meanwhile Partridge & Lydia are being hidden by the Mothers, being kept separate so that Partridge can’t take advantage of her. Lydia has become independent since Pure, being taught to hunt and fight by the Mothers. Partridge spends his time drawing maps of the Dome while keeping safe his mothers vials and away from Ellery Willux (his father).

Pressia, Bradwell, El Captain, Partridge & Lydia’s plan is to wait for Ellery’s DNA to degenerate and then for Partridge to go back to the Dome and take over. Ellery forces them to rethink their plan when he ups the ante taking a young wretch girl and making her Pure. The Dome programmes her mind so that she can only speak one message: we want our son returned. At the same time Ellery releases spiders that attach themselves to wretches, count down and explode. Then other wretches disappear and return from the Dome Pure. However the first young wretch girl starts to show signs that her DNA is rapidly degenerating.

Pressia & Bradwell discover that Finnigan is the key to finding a formula which is needed along with her mothers vials to cure the young wretch girl’s degenerating DNA. Pressia, Bradwell, El Captain, Partridge & Lydia meet together to decide how to respond to the potential to find the formula and how to respond to Ellery’s threat. Pressia, Bradwell and El Captain decide they will try to unravel the mystery that will lead to them learning the location of the formula. Partridge decides he must go back to the Dome.

Pressia, Bradwell & El Captain will need to travel great distances across land and sea going through a National Park to get the formula, but will they all survive the perilous journey?

Partridge is going back to the Dome, but what does his father really want with him? Partridge knows his father has dark secrets but why has Ellery kept Iralene suspended for him? And what about Lydia – why has she chosen to say goodbye rather than go back with him?

Fuse builds up to a truly epic ending. Pressia is faced with a choice, do nothing and lose someone that she loves or take action against that person’s wishes. Partridge is also faced with a choice of taking an action that will lead to him becoming what he hates the most.

Fuse has captivating characters; builds on and adds to the many fantastic orignal ideas presented in Pure. It did have a few editing errors, for example at one point Pressia stabs a beast with a knife and then in the next sentence pulls a spear out of the beasts carcass (p. 140), but these minor editorial errors didn’t affect the flow or my enjoyment of the story.

When I read Pure I didn’t think Baggott would be able to better it, but with Fuse she has took the characters and the storyline to a whole new level. It’s an incredible piece of literature that demonstrates Baggott’s wonderful imagination and creativity. Fuse is easily the best book I’ve read all year.

Like most trilogies you could read Fuse as an individual book, but I think it would leave you feeling you had missed the beginning of the overarching storyline. For this reason Fuse is better enjoyed if you’ve read Pure. So read Pure first and let it wet your appetite for Fuse.

Fuse has left me desiring Burn the final book in the trilogy due out in 2014. Fuse is available to pre-order/order on Amazon.

Write soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Friday 28 December 2012
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