How do you know if you’re in a healthy relationship or not? Find out more below.
Relationship Gender Symbols. Copyright © Antony Simpson, 2018.
If you are in a healthy relationship you should tick most of the boxes on the checklist below:
You can do things independently, without getting a hard time from your partner. You can explore interests, have hobbies, etc.
You can communicate openly and honestly with your partner without negative judgement or fear.
You never have to hide anything from your partner.
You get support from your partner when you are vulnerable.
Your partner encourages and supports you in everything that you do.
You have shared your dreams and hopes with your partner.
You and your partner have shared ambitions for your life together.
You feel safe: physically, mentally and emotionally.
You have regular contact with friends and family members.
Your partner never makes you feel bad for spending time with others.
Your partner always shows you respect.
You and your partner laugh together.
You and your partner listen to one another.
You and your partner both approach the relationship as a learning experience.
Your relationship adds something to both you and your partner’s life.
Your partner speaks to you with kindness.
Your friends and family honestly think your relationship is a healthy one.
Your relationship started with vulnerability, connection and intimacy.
You would use these words to describe your relationship: trust, warmth and attachment.
Your partner never belittles you.
Neither your partner or yourself displays contempt for the other. No eye rolling. No squinting at them as if to say what are you talking about?
You don’t feel controlled or manipulated.
Your partner is never aggressive or violent towards anyone or anything. This includes: you, any children and any pets or animals.
Your partner knows where the line is and doesn’t cross it. Either accidentally or purposefully.
You feel equal to your partner in the relationship.
You like the way you grown and changed while you’ve been in the relationship.
You and your partner express appreciation and admiration for one another.
You have fun together.
Your partner offers comfort, love and support when you’re upset, stressed or fearful.
You make decisions jointly.
You are intimate. By intimate I mean hugs, cuddles, kisses, holding hands, being close to one another and sex.
You and your partner don’t argue constantly.
Your partner loves and likes you when you look and feel at your worst.
Your family and friends like your partner.
If you think or feel that you maybe in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, the following websites have useful information on:
- NHS Choices – Domestic Violence and Abuse
- Relate – Abusive relationships
- Woman’s Aid – Am I in an abusive relationship?
- National Domestic Violence Helpline
Blog soon,
Antony
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Well Antony I agree with about 50% but sorry disagree with some.
Been extremely happily married for 35 years this September and I told Roy 35 years ago if he raised a finger to me he would be out of here ( and he hasn’t) but during our time there have been lies ( I have had this dress for ages!) We occasionally shout and swear hopefully not too bad .
I do think over the years life is also about adapting and also deciding what is worth a battle or not Hopefully Got something right will see in the future.Yes
Hi Lynn,
Thanks for your comment. Every relationship is unique and two people find their own balance.
The term ‘healthy relationship’ and the points on this checklist come from research rather than my own personal experience (as you know I have been single for sometime lol).
Research included looking at teaching resources for young people, such as Resources for discussing healthy relationships and challenging abusive behaviour (Independent Domestic Abuse Services) and TES – Healthy Relationships, as well as reading a range of articles online.
I totally agree with your points about adapting in life and choosing your battles.
A x