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adolescence

World Mental Health Day – Young People & Mental Health

By Health, ThinkingNo Comments

Today is World Mental Health Day. This year the World Health Organization has decided that the theme is young people and mental health in a changing world. So here’s my post all about young people and mental health:

World-Mental-Health-Day-2018

What is a young person?
A young person is any person aged between thirteen and twenty one years old. They are in the adolescence stage of life:

Adolescence
The stage of adolescence or the teenage years starts around 12-13 years old and lasts until around 18-20 years old. The end of childhood and beginning of adolescence is marked by the start of puberty.

In adolescence your body and brain are going through massive changes. These changes mean that you need more sleep and may well be found sleeping in till midday or later.

In the body, high levels of hormones rage creating physical changes, increasing emotional intensity and a fierce need for independence. The emotional intensity explains why you are more likely to be rebellious in your thinking and actions as an adolescent.

If you’re a male physical changes include: body hair grows (public, underarm, facial & legs), voice breaks – becoming deeper, Adam’s apple becomes prominent, acne, penis growth, lowering of testis lower, growing taller and broader.

If you’re female physical changes include: growth of breasts, menstrual cycle, body hair grows (public, underarm & legs), acne, weight gain, change of body shape and growing taller.

In the brain, hormones make you more likely to act on impulse and take risks. This explains why you are more likely to try alcohol and/or drugs in adolescence.

Both the body and brain make you aware of those you feel sexually attracted to. You notice them. You want to get to know them and ultimately you want to have sex with them. You may start to have sexual and/or romantic relationships.

Your thinking is egocentric – you are only or mostly concerned about you. This egocentric thinking explains a lot of your thinking and behaviour including why you are so concerned about how you look.

Puberty takes around 4 years from the early signs to completion. As well as all the puberty changes, you have the pressures of high school including peer groups and exams.

From my blog post: The Cycle of Life, Last accessed 06/10/18.


Why focus on young people?
These statistics explain why:

  • 20% of adolescents may experience a mental health problem in any given year.
  • 50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24.
  • 10% of children and young people (aged 5-16 years) have a clinically diagnosable mental problem, yet 70% of children and adolescents who experience mental health problems have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age.

From: The Mental Health Foundation – Mental health statistics: children and young people, Last accessed: 06/10/18.


What can we do to support young people with mental health problems?
First teach them about resilience and how to increase resilience:

Resilience or emotional resilience is our ability to deal with adverse events in life that cause pressure or stress. I like to think of resilience as being like water in a well:

The-Well-of-Resilience-by-Antony-Simpson

We only have so much resilience within us, like there is only so much water in a well. Adverse events cause us to use our resilience water by the bucket loads. But there is good news.

We can make it rain to add more resilience water to the well or just top it up a little at any time. We can do this by: Taking a Break, Relaxation, undertaking Hobbies & Interests, Spending Time in Nature, Practicing Meditation or Mindfulness, Spending Time with Family / Friends / Animals and Listening to Music.

From my blog post: Mental Health Focus: The Well Of Resilience, Last accessed: 06/10/18.

Second support young people in a variety of ways including:

First educate yourself around mental illness.

Second: You must look after yourself. You can’t support anyone else if you are not well physically, mentally or emotionally.

On to the practical advice to support someone with mental illness:

  • Stay in contact with them. Ask them how they would like you to keep in contact. Some may may prefer phoning or seeing; whereas others may prefer messaging or texting.
  • Unconditional love and care. Let them know that you love them unconditionally and care for them deeply. Don’t have any expectation that they will reciprocate.
  • Listen to what they say and don’t assume anything.
  • Ensure that there are no distractions when you are with them or on the phone to them. Put your phone on silent and make sure any loud children are pets are out of the way (if you have them).
  • Offer practical support. Go shopping for them or with them, help them to clean, cook them a meal. Whatever it is that they need. They maybe resistant to the idea of practical help, so reassure them that you are happy to help and that you know they’d do it for you.
  • Remind them to take their medication or when appointments are due. People with mental illness tend to have poor short term memories.
  • Ask them about their appetite and diet. If they have an appetite but are struggling to make anything (due to lack of energy and/or motivation), find out what there favourite meal is and cook it for them.
  • Offer distracting activities. Distracting activities that you can both do together can give someone a break from their own critical inner of voice. The activities can be something as simple as a walk around the park. Make sure you are always led by the person with mental illness though. If they say that they are too unwell or tired to do the activity, don’t take it personally. And certainly don’t judge them or take offence.
  • Help them access support. This could include going with them to GP, counselling sessions or mental health service appointments. Offer to sit in appointments with them, but let them know that it’s okay if they want to be seen alone.
  • Be understanding. Someone with mental illness may cancel plans at the last minute. You may arrive at their house to find it messy and them unclean. Don’t take it personally, let them know that you understand and ask if there is anyway that you can help.
  • Be patient. Like any illness, mental illness takes the right treatment, the right support and time for them to start to feel better.
  • Limit questions and time spent with them, if you feel they are exhausted and need to rest. You’ll be able to spot if they need to rest by: pulling on their hair, forgetting what you’ve said to them, being very slow to respond, unable to think of words, dropping of their head, shuffling of feet and other body language people use when they look like they are about to drop off to sleep.
  • Be aware of your own body language and theirs. Try and display open body language and avoid mirroring.
  • Try not to give advice, as often it is unrealistic and unhelpful. For example never advise someone with depression to exercise more or have an healthier diet. This person has probably used all of their energy and motivation to get out of the bed. This single action has left them more exhausted than they have ever felt in their life. So advising them to exercise, eat an healthier diet or make big changes to their life will seem unachievable and may come across as if you are blaming them for their depression.
  • Sign-post them to useful resources.

From my blog post: Mental Health Focus: How to support someone with Mental Illness, Last accessed: 06/10/18.

I hope you found this blog post useful. Feel free to give feedback by leaving a comment below.

Write soon,

Antony

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The Cycle of Life

By Life, ThinkingNo Comments

Life is a cycle. It has stages or distinct periods, associated with age and these ages are also associated with key events. Everyone who lives a full life cycle will goes through each of these stages. They are:

cycle-of-life-diagram-by-Antony-Simpson

The Cycle of Life Diagram by myself.

Prebirth
There is some debate between Scientists, Doctors, Religious Leaders and Philosophers about when human life actually begins. Some say it begins at conception or fertilisation (generally most Religious Leaders), whereas Scientists and Doctors in the UK state that human life begins once a fertilised egg has implanted its self into the uterus wall, based on medical research and legal judgements.

Whichever you believe to be correct, this stage of life goes from 0-40 weeks. In this time you grow from a single cell into an embryo (from day four of fertilisation to week eight of pregnancy) and then into a foetus (from week eight of pregnancy till birth). Your mother will go through the three trimesters of pregnancy. You will be called a baby from birth.

Birth
You come into this world as a baby that is fully dependent on your mother, father and/or other carers to meet your needs for: milk, hygiene, warmth, sleep, safety, stimulation and love (emotional attachment and bonding). This is a period of rapid physical growth.

By 3-6 months old you will need to be weaned on to solid foods to satisfy your hunger and to give you enough nutrients to continue this rapid period of growth. Between 6-9 months old you will begin exploring your environment by crawling.

By 1 year old you begin to walk and enter into the infancy stage of your life cycle.

Infancy
In this stage you learn through exploration and play. This stage is usually between the ages of 1 to 5.You develop in all sorts of ways including:

  • Physically – you continue to grow, develop gross and fine motor skills.
  • Cognitively – you develop your ability to solve basic problems and begin to develop your imagination.
  • Language – You learn to communicate verbally through speech. You will go from knowing a handful of words to hundreds.
  • Socially – You learn to parallel play, share and social rules.
  • Emotionally – You learn to identify what you feel and eventually to emotionally regulate yourself.
  • Moral – You begin to notice what is perceive as right and wrong.

In infancy, a significant phase for most parents or carers is the terrible twos. To call it the terrible twos is a bit deceptive though, as it starts from around 18 months and can carry on until the infant is 2 and a half years old.

You say ‘No’ often and temper tantrum if you don’t get your way. In the terrible twos you are learning what the boundaries are, what you can get away with and how to regulate your feelings of frustration and anger when you don’t get what you want.

Childhood
Personality begins to develop in childhood, including likes and dislikes. Childhood starts at around 5 years old and ends around 12 years old (its ending being marked by the beginning of puberty – see Adolescence below).

As well as your personality developing, you become much less dependent on your parents or carers for your basic needs. You start structured learning at school, which leads to a more structured way of thinking. But conversely you are able to think abstractly.

You increase the number social relationships you have by making friends. You continue to grow – both physically and intellectually and continue to develop new skills. You may master some of these new skills. You have thing that pique your curiosity and things that don’t. You have passions and interests.

Adolescence
The stage of adolescence or the teenage years starts around 12-13 years old and lasts until around 18-20 years old. The end of childhood and beginning of adolescence is marked by the start of puberty.

In adolescence your body and brain are going through massive changes. These changes mean that you need more sleep and may well be found sleeping in till midday or later.

In the body, high levels of hormones rage creating physical changes, increasing emotional intensity and a fierce need for independence. The emotional intensity explains why you are more likely to be rebellious in your thinking and actions as an adolescent.

If you’re a male physical changes include: body hair grows (public, underarm, facial & legs), voice breaks – becoming deeper, Adam’s apple becomes prominent, acne, penis growth, lowering of testis lower, growing taller and broader.

If you’re female physical changes include: growth of breasts, menstrual cycle, body hair grows (public, underarm & legs), acne, weight gain, change of body shape and growing taller.

In the brain, hormones make you more likely to act on impulse and take risks. This explains why you are more likely to try alcohol and/or drugs in adolescence.

Both the body and brain make you aware of those you feel sexually attracted to. You notice them. You want to get to know them and ultimately you want to have sex with them. You may start to have sexual and/or romantic relationships.

Your thinking is egocentric – you are only or mostly concerned about you. This egocentric thinking explains a lot of your thinking and behaviour including why you are so concerned about how you look.

Puberty takes around 4 years from the early signs to completion. As well as all the puberty changes, you have the pressures of high school including peer groups and exams.

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Early Adulthood
18-40 years old is the Early Adulthood stage of the cycle of life. Adults are physically fully grown and must use the life skills that they acquired in earlier stages to fend for themselves. In these few short years a lot happens in life.

You may move out of home, you may go to college and/or university, you may learn to drive a car, you go out into the world of work and start your career, you may make a commitment to a partner through marriage, you may end a relationship through divorce, you may buy your own home, you may have children of your own, you may travel, you may become more involved in community activities.

You feel enthusiastic about making your mark on the world. You continue to develop your passions and interests. Days, months and years pass quickly by at this stage of your life. You have little time to contemplate your life and the past choices you have made that have lead you to where you are.

Middle Age
Contemplation is the keyword in middle age, which starts around 45 years old till around 65 years old. Physical signs of ageing are present and women will have gone through menopause by the end of this stage. People talk about having a midlife crisis in this stage.

You think about your life and if you are happy with it or not. You may feel that your life is stale and stagnant. This contemplation can cause you to make major changes in your life. However you may be perfectly content with your life and choose to continue on without making any major changes.

In this stage of your life you may need to care for your now elderly parents. You will have attended christenings, birthdays, weddings and funerals. You will have met and know people at all stages of the cycle of life.

Late Adulthood
Retirement from work will have occurred by the time a person reaches late adulthood. Late adulthood is a stage for people aged 65-75 years old. By this point they have got a wealth of wisdom as a result of life experiences.

You physically and mentally begin to slow down. You have great wisdom from a lifetime of experience and regularly replay memories from your past.

End of Life
At the end of life the reflection continues. Most people will be 76+ years old. If people are happy with their life, they will feel satisfaction. However some people may have regrets.

People regret things like: not spending enough time with family and friends, not being the best parent/grandparent that they could have been, not having taken enough risks and playing it safe.

You will think about your life. You will ask yourself if you spent enough time with loved ones, if you did good enough, if you’re happy with your life up to now.

Death
According to The Office of National Statistics the average life expectancy for a man is 79 years old and for a woman 83 years old, so death comes between 79-83 years old for most.

Your family and friends will grief for the loss of you in their lives. Hopefully they will celebrate your life as well.

Rebirth
Rebirth hasn’t been scientifically proven at this point. But several religions and spiritual paths believe in reincarnation or rebirth. This is where you would be reborn either as another human or as an animal after death.

Even more fascinating is that some religions and spiritual paths even believe that it is your choice to be reincarnated or remain on an astral/spiritual/energy-based plane of existence.

The Future
A healthier lifestyle including: a good diet, regular exercise, not smoking, not drinking alcohol, not misusing substances, working/living in better environments with conditions that promote good health; along with ever-improving healthcare and technology will extend the life cycles of current and future people.

This extended life cycle will mean that some of the ages people enter the stated stages in this article will be incorrect in the future.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Book Review: The Marble Collector by Cecelia Ahern

By Amazon, Books & Authors, ReviewsNo Comments
the-marble-collector-ahern-book-cover Ahern’s books are either a hit or a miss with me. The Marble Collector was most definitely a miss. If I had to choose one word to describe this novel it would be: dull. Or pointless. Or boring.

The Marble Collector is essentially two stories rolled into one.

The first story is that of Fergus Boggs who is an avid and secretive Marble Collector. It is the story of his life that starts in his childhood and proceeds over the decades through his adolescence and adulthood, right into his present old age.

The second story is is an extraordinary day in the life of Boggs’ daughter Sabrina. It stars with her throwing a cup at a wall in work, which leads to her being sent home by her boss.

Then there’s a delivery of a marble collection that she didn’t know her father even had collected, never mind kept. Sabrina discovers her father’s life long obsession with marbles.

As Sabrina looks through the marble collection, she notices that the two sets of marbles that are worth the most money are gone. So she sets off on a mission to find the missing marbles and along the way learns more about her emotionally distant father and more about herself.

Both of the main characters were uninteresting and lacked depth. The idea behind the novel was reasonable at best, but the plot was completely flat. The pacing was slow throughout. Description of scenes and characters were sparse, but mostly adequate. Pages and pages of words were wasted, with these pages adding little to the two dimensional characters or plot.

I wanted to like The Marble Collector by Cecelia Ahern. But I have found it difficult to find anything positive to write. The best part of the The Marble Collector was reaching the end of it.

You can buy The Marble Collector by Cecelia Ahern on Amazon and at all good book shops, but I wouldn’t bother. In fact The Marble Collector was bad enough to put me off from pre-ordering any of Ahern’s books in future.

Review soon,

Antony

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Book Review: Faitheist by Chris Stedman

By Books & Authors, Gay, Reviews, ThinkingNo Comments
faitheist-chris-stedman-book-cover Chris Stedman is an atheist with a humanistic ethical code. Stedman, through his interfaith work, encourages the religious and nonreligious to come together and share their stories to humanise and understand one another for the greater good. He is the Assistant Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University and writes on his blog NonProphet Status, for the Huffington Post as well as on various other media platforms.

In Faitheist, Chirs Stedman shares the story of his life (so far). The full title of the book is longwinded (Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious) and the introduction is off-putting. The introduction is full of terminology that is unfamiliar, unless you’re an Atheist Activist or an Interfaith Worker/Volunteer. This terminology and the elongated words are both unnecessary.

But get past the introduction and Stedman’s story is fascinating. Told in his warm and engaging writers voice his story is educational, enlightening, completely honest and emotionally resonant.

Stedman starts with his childhood; describing it as ‘not particularly religious.’ He discusses his search for a place to belong and a community to be a part of. Towards the end of his childhood he joins a church and becomes a Christian.

Stedman moves into his adolescence and tells us of his developing homosexuality. He describes a difficult time in his life, one where his sexuality and his extreme Christian beliefs are at odds. He discusses his self-hate, guilt and his loss of faith in God. He reveals how his mum discovered that he was gay and how she supported him. Lost, Stedman sets out on journey to find himself.

Stedman tells of his early adulthood; describing his journey to find himself and what he wants to do with his life. He tells that through Voluntary & Community Work he served others (a recurring theme throughout his entire life), he realised that the religious and nonreligious need to work together (interfaith working). He explains that he realised this has to start with understanding one another’s perspective.

Stedman writes about his set and strong convictions towards the end of this book, clearly promoting humanism. However he has a history of changing some of his views, based on his life experiences. So this left the question as to whether some of his views may change over time. Not his core values, those have always remained a constant, but some of his views on complex ‘grey’ areas in life.

As Stedman shares his story he describes his patchwork of tattoos and their meaning to him and his life. Stedman demonstrates his wonderful ability to reflect on his own experiences and learn from them. He reveals his unique passion, vibrant personality and how so alive he is. A gorgeous man with a beautiful, caring soul.

Stedman concludes his book, not surprisingly, advocating the bringing together of the religious and the nonreligious (atheists). He suggests that they should share their life stories with one another. This he states will lead to a better understanding of one another, so that they can work better together. He encourages the reader to open a dialogue with people from all walks of life, to listen to their stories and share yours.

Stedman could have included some glossy photo pages to match his autobiographical style of story sharing, which would have been great for visual learners.

Faitheist by Chris Stedman is a thought-provoking read and will appeal to anyone who is interested in the study of religious or atheism, the effect of religion on homosexuality, humanism, philosophy, ideology, interfaith work and/or bringing communities together.

Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious by Chris Stedman is available to buy on Amazon.

Review soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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