Whether it be: porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, cigs, food, exercise, violence, etc. the mechanism in the brain – the neurological reward pathway operates in the same way.
Just thought it might be of interest. They reckon about 10% of people experience addiction at some point in their lives. I myself have an addiction to nicotine – something I need to work on. Have a watch, go on, I’ll wait.
What’s interesting to me, is the transformation people undertake. They have to identify their addiction and make the choice to deal with it. This transformation process is a difficult one; with the individual having to work on deep rooted issues. And most people don’t get it right the first time; but when they finally do it’s an incredible sight to behold. It gives me real hope in the strength of the human spirit.
I recognise that people visiting this page/post might want to know where they can get support. If you require support around your mental health, addiction or physical health, see this Support page here.
My initial reaction was pride. All out gay or bisexual men have had to have these difficult conversations at some point, so I definitely empathised. These conversations are hard enough, but for Tom it must have been even more difficult given his position.
Tom is an Athlete in the Sporting Profession; and how many out gay professional Athlete’s or sports people do you know? Gareth Thomas the retired Rugby Player comes to mind, but he only came out as gay after he retired.
Then there’s Robbie Rogers a US Football Player, who used to play in the UK but no longer does. It is unbelievable that of the estimated 4,500 professional Football Players in the UK, he is the only gay or bisexual one. Statistics apparently show that 1 in 10 men are gay or bisexual, so it is likely that there are many professional footballers as well as other Athlete’s and sports people that haven’t come out.
The reason Athlete’s and sports people don’t come out is the stigma still attached with being gay in the sport industry. Professional sports people worry about losing fans, sponsors and ultimately their jobs. Tom will have been aware of all this and is very brave for risking all.
I’ve read many journalistic reactions and opinion pieces on his disclosure. I’ve also read many supportive messages to him, along with some quite blatantly homophobic ones.
I wasn’t just proud that Tom had come out as being in a relationship with a man, but that he had put himself in a position of emotional vulnerability in search for acceptance. Acceptance is an innate human desire and in order to gain acceptance you have to let people know you.
I have pondered if Tom deliberately avoided using the words gay or bisexual, or even if these words needed to be said. I’m sure that Tom coming out will be a great role model to any gay teens struggling with their sexuality – what it means for them and their life.
If I were to give a message to Tom it would be this:
Thank you for sharing who you are. I wish you every happiness, you deserve it. Keep the people in your life that accept, love and care for you. The people that don’t this feel this way – don’t worry or waste your time thinking about them. Just keep working, living and loving who you are.
Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 17th January 2014.
November is anti-bullying month. In 2010 there were a few high profile cases of gay teens committing suicide as a result of homophobic bullying both in school and in their communities in the USA. Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller uploaded a video on YouTube titled ‘It Gets Better.’ The aim of this video, as you may have guessed, was to encourage gay teens to hang in there, as it does get better.
It Gets Better Logo
From this sprang the It Gets Better Project, an international campaign that aims to communicate the ‘it gets better’ message to gay teens to give them hope. The It Gets Better Project also aims to inspire and bring about change, so that there is less homophobia, more tolerance and more acceptance of gay teens.
Celebrities have voiced support for the It Gets Better Project with the likes of Zachary Quinto and Adam Lambert making their own ‘it gets better’ videos.
Zachary Quinto
Zachary Quinto Video Screenshot
Zachary Quinto in his emotional video said: ‘The are countless other teens and young adults that are struggling to find a sense of identify and belonging in a chaotic and often unforgiving world…and to you I say it gets better.’
Adam Lambert in his upbeat video said: ‘You have to be strong…and you have to pay attention to the positive… and in doing so you will push through and you will rise up and you will live your life to the fullest. It gets better but its up to you.’
President Obama, other American politicians and employees from the likes of Apple, Google, Microsoft and Dell have added their videos. Employees and students from Universities, Sports Clubs and other institutions have added supportive videos.
Thousands of people have used their webcams, video editing software and internet connections to uploaded their own individual videos aiming to give hope to gay teens.
The success of the ‘It Gets Better Project’ has been phenomenal. Seth Levy, Chairman of the Board of Directors for the project says that they’ve had success, but recognises that there’s still much more work to be done:
‘The It Gets Better Project works globally to share message of hope with LGBT youth and to make things better for them. The Project has already had great success through its international efforts in the Americas, Australia, Western Europe and the Caribbean. We are now beginning to work in more regions where, at times, the circumstances for LGBT youth are especially challenging and LGBT-focused resources are scarce. Moldova has historically been such a place. We are very excited to have partnered with our local affiliate, Egali, to help improve things for LGBT youth in Moldova. ‘
Steve & I were off to see the Witches, the Wonderful Witches of Oz!
On Monday night we went to watch Wicked on Tour; but beforehand we ate delicious food (as always) at Velvet Central. We both had tomato soup to start and then gammon steak as the main.
Having booked tickets in January, I was ready to explode with excitement and it didn’t disappoint. We headed to Manchester’s Palace Theatre:
The Manchester Palace Wicked: Theatre Sign (from a distance)
The Manchester Palace Wicked: Outside Video Display
The Manchester Palace Wicked: Me
The Manchester Palace Wicked: Steve
The Manchester Palace Wicked: Signage
The Manchester Palace Wicked: The Queue
We were sat one row from the front, an incredible view of the stage. I hadn’t realised when I’d booked the tickets, I though ‘BB’ row would be further back. I didn’t take photos during the show for fear of being kicked out.
The costumes and makeup were fabulous. The props were good and the set was truly transformative.
(Left: The Oz Map Stage Screen.)
The quick costume changes were impressive as were the choreography, the story, the good doses of humour throughout and of course the music. The only criticism was that occasionally the words of the songs weren’t clear. This was with both individuals of the leading cast and with the group singing.
(Right: Clock Dragon.)
Here’s a YouTube playlist, with all the songs from the show in full:
Wicked was thrilling, entertaining, dramatic and an absolute must-see. If you’re thinking of going to the theatre, you’ve got to see Wicked. Here’s the official trailer:
