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It Gets Better

Import: 14 Tips to Beat Bullying

By LifeNo Comments

This month it’s been anti-bullying month here at The Gay UK. Bullying takes many forms: Name-calling, making negative comments on your work, making someone feel worthless, physical abuse are just some examples.

So we’ve put some tips together to help anyone out there who might be being bullied. It doesn’t matter if you’re being bullied at school, college, university, work or home.

Remember if you are being bullied remember it’s not your fault.

Write Everything Down
Keep a log of every incident; write down the date, time, location, what happened, what they said and any witnesses that were around.

Tell Someone
Tell someone in authority and ask them what they intend to do about it. Tell them any fears you have about reprisals from the bully.

Someone you trust, like a family member or friend can also be useful. It means that you’re not dealing with the problem on your own; a problem shared is a problem halved.

Get Support
Don’t try to deal with it and your feelings about it all on your own. Get some support. Consider counselling for some additional support around your feelings.

Know Your Rights
All educational settings have anti-bullying policies. Some employers have these as well. Even if your employer doesn’t they will have Equality & Diversity Policies as well as other relevant policies. Read them.

There will also be procedures for investigating and dealing with bullying – so have a look at these as well.

Know your rights. Nobody has a right to bully another. Make authority figures aware that you know you’re rights.

Don’t Let It Get To You
Try to not let the things the bully says or does get to you. Bullies bully for a variety of reasons, but it’s always about their issues, not yours.

Try Not To Show A Reaction or Smile
Don’t let the bully see that they are getting to you. To do this, try to give them no reaction or smile. You know that phrase: Smile – it confuses people.

Walk With Confidence
Use your body language to make you look larger. Stand with your legs apart, your back straight and your chest pushed out slightly. Have your arms slightly away from your body and loose by your sides. Head up as you walk looking straight ahead. This does take a bit of practice, but try practicing in front of a full-length mirror. Believe it or not, this is how most bullies walk.

When we see someone walk like this, especially a bully, we do the opposite with our body language. We make ourselves as small as possible including hunching our back, pulling our arms in close and looking down at the ground. Try to remember to keep this confident body language, even when you see the bully.

The only time to avoid using body language to make you look larger is in the event of a physical assault. In that case, have your side to the perpetrator, as this will give them less of a target. In the event of a physical assault, get yourself out of the situation as soon as you can and to a place of safety.

Remember nobody has the right to be violent towards you; likewise you don’t have the right to be violent towards anyone else. All physical assaults should be reported to the Police.

If It’s CyberBullying
If the bully is sending you messages, texts, images and videos, keep them all. Don’t respond to any messages and make good use of privacy settings. Block/Ignore the bully and report them to the social media provider. If the messages get particularly abusive report them to the Police (this is why you need to keep all the messages as evidence).

Take Sensible Steps To Keep Yourself Safe
Keep yourself safe by carrying a mobile phone, personal attack alarm and being aware of your surroundings. Never walk home on your own and always try to stay with someone when travelling around the setting were you come into contact with the bully.

Involve The Police
Any violence or physical assault should be reported to the Police.

If the bullying is homophobic or racist in nature you can report it to the Police as a hate crime. Hate crime also covers bullying that is related to disability religion, ethnicity or transgender identify. Find out more about hate crimes on the True Vision website.

Come up with Good Coping Strategies
We all have different coping strategies. Some good ones are: taking up sports or martial arts (these are particularly empowering and you learn to defend yourself as well), talking to people, expressing how you feel creatively (e.g. writing, music, drawing, making movies, etc.). All of these activities also raise your confidence and self esteem – something that bullies try to damage or destroy.

Avoid Drugs & Alcohol as a Coping Strategy
There is research that links drugs and alcohol misuse to bullying as a coping strategy. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to cope with the bullying. It might make you forget or feel happier in the very short term (for the night), but the next day the bullying often seems much bigger problem.

Know that It Gets Better
Bullying is a massive issue. Many people get bullied. Remember that the situation you’re in now wont last forever. There will be a time that the bullying will stop.

Avoid Becoming The Bully
There’s some research that shows that some people who have been bullied, later become bullies. Don’t let it happen, you’re better than that! Remember how it felt to be bullied. If you’re in a position to safely stand up to a bully that’s bullying someone else – do.

If you’re affected by bullying please check out our resources page for further help and support.

Published by: The Gay UK on Saturday 30th November 2013.

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Import: Celebrities and Others Record Video Messages to Gay Teens to tell them: It Gets Better

By Gay, Inspiration, JournalismNo Comments

November is anti-bullying month. In 2010 there were a few high profile cases of gay teens committing suicide as a result of homophobic bullying both in school and in their communities in the USA. Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller uploaded a video on YouTube titled ‘It Gets Better.’ The aim of this video, as you may have guessed, was to encourage gay teens to hang in there, as it does get better.


It Gets Better Logo

From this sprang the It Gets Better Project, an international campaign that aims to communicate the ‘it gets better’ message to gay teens to give them hope. The It Gets Better Project also aims to inspire and bring about change, so that there is less homophobia, more tolerance and more acceptance of gay teens.

Celebrities have voiced support for the It Gets Better Project with the likes of Zachary Quinto and Adam Lambert making their own ‘it gets better’ videos.


Zachary Quinto Video Screenshot

Zachary Quinto in his emotional video said: ‘The are countless other teens and young adults that are struggling to find a sense of identify and belonging in a chaotic and often unforgiving world…and to you I say it gets better.’

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Adam Lambert’s Video Screenshot

Adam Lambert in his upbeat video said: ‘You have to be strong…and you have to pay attention to the positive… and in doing so you will push through and you will rise up and you will live your life to the fullest. It gets better but its up to you.’

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President Obama, other American politicians and employees from the likes of Apple, Google, Microsoft and Dell have added their videos. Employees and students from Universities, Sports Clubs and other institutions have added supportive videos.

Thousands of people have used their webcams, video editing software and internet connections to uploaded their own individual videos aiming to give hope to gay teens.

The success of the ‘It Gets Better Project’ has been phenomenal. Seth Levy, Chairman of the Board of Directors for the project says that they’ve had success, but recognises that there’s still much more work to be done:

‘The It Gets Better Project works globally to share message of hope with LGBT youth and to make things better for them. The Project has already had great success through its international efforts in the Americas, Australia, Western Europe and the Carribbean. We are now beginning to work in more regions where, at times, the circumstances for LGBT youth are especially challenging and LGBT-focused resources are scarce. Moldova has historically been such a place. We are very excited to have partnered with our local affiliate, Egali, to help improve things for LGBT youth in Moldova. ‘

To learn more about the It Gets Better Project, visit their website: .

Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 8th November 2013.

I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:

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