I know it’s old news now; but Tom Daley recently revealed that he is in a relationship with a man. He made this disclosure on this YouTube video:
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My initial reaction was pride. All out gay or bisexual men have had to have these difficult conversations at some point, so I definitely empathised. These conversations are hard enough, but for Tom it must have been even more difficult given his position.
Tom is an Athlete in the Sporting Profession; and how many out gay professional Athlete’s or sports people do you know? Gareth Thomas the retired Rugby Player comes to mind, but he only came out as gay after he retired.
Then there’s Robbie Rogers a US Football Player, who used to play in the UK but no longer does. It is unbelievable that of the estimated 4,500 professional Football Players in the UK, he is the only gay or bisexual one. Statistics apparently show that 1 in 10 men are gay or bisexual, so it is likely that there are many professional footballers as well as other Athlete’s and sports people that haven’t come out.
The reason Athlete’s and sports people don’t come out is the stigma still attached with being gay in the sport industry. Professional sports people worry about losing fans, sponsors and ultimately their jobs. Tom will have been aware of all this and is very brave for risking all.
I’ve read many journalistic reactions and opinion pieces on his disclosure. I’ve also read many supportive messages to him, along with some quite blatantly homophobic ones.
I wasn’t just proud that Tom had come out as being in a relationship with a man, but that he had put himself in a position of emotional vulnerability in search for acceptance. Acceptance is an innate human desire and in order to gain acceptance you have to let people know you.
I have pondered if Tom deliberately avoided using the words gay or bisexual, or even if these words needed to be said. I’m sure that Tom coming out will be a great role model to any gay teens struggling with their sexuality – what it means for them and their life.
If I were to give a message to Tom it would be this:
Thank you for sharing who you are. I wish you every happiness, you deserve it. Keep the people in your life that accept, love and care for you. The people that don’t this feel this way – don’t worry or waste your time thinking about them. Just keep working, living and loving who you are.
Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 17th January 2014.
The Independent on Sunday do a yearly ‘Pink List’. For those of you who don’t know, a Pink List is the most influential gay people of the year. I won’t mention the fact that there’s still a quarter of the year to go, I wont. You can read their Pink List here: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/the-iiosi-pink-list-2010-2040472.html.
As I go down the list giving my thoughts please expect some people to be completely omitted because
I have no idea who they are. Sorry but your just not famous enough to have attracted me attention, yet. No hard feelings, eh?
The Independent on Sunday ‘Pink List’ 2010
1. Gareth Thomas the rugby player absolutely deserves at number one this year. The rugby world along with other sporting worlds remain homophobic and the way gay people have changed attitudes in this country is by coming out to their friends and family. We just need someone from the football world to come out now, my bets on Cristiano Ronaldo.
3. Stephen Fry the broadcaster and writer speaks up for gay rights more than most of the public realise. Recently the media have picked up about his recent relationship breakdown and his new partner aged 26. Come on, like at fifty some-thing if you could get a 26 year old you wouldn’t? Leave the man alone. He will always have my respects, unless of course he did something really bad – like – murder or something equally morally wrong.
6. Alan Carr the comedian known for his show Chatty Man on channel 4 is very funny. I didn’t realise that you could influence people with humor. It seems so, well done Alan. Perhaps I should give that saying about laughing people in to bed a try?
7. Peter Tatchell the human rights activist has been banging on about Marriage as apposed to Civil Partnerships and still campaigns for true equality for gay people. It seems like the job title of “Human Rights Activist” was becoming redundant with the strides forward we made with the Labour Government, but now the Conservatives are back in, you’ve got your work cut out for you Peter. Thanks for standing up for our rights.
10. Sue Perkins the comedian and writer, is she the one whose thin, tall, short hair and glasses? If so, I like her. She seems nice.
12. Scott Mills the Radio 1 DJ, I hadn’t realised was gay! Honestly, I think my gaydar needs some tweaking. Love his radio 1 show, I always listen on my way home from work in the car, it makes me smile and often laugh. Keep doing what you do Scott.
34. Matt Lucas, I haven’t seen him around much since Little Brittan. Oh wait I have heard his voice in Alice and Wonderland though, I think.
36. Simon Amstell, not seen much of him. He’s boring me now on Never Mind the Buzzcocks but that’s only because repeats are constantly on Dave.
47. Derren Brown bless his cotton socks. There’s something I like about this man. I dunno what it is but there’s also plenty I don’t like: his smug attitude. Luckily this year hasn’t been like the last were I was Unable to escape from Derren Brown.
52. Lord Mandelson a Labour party peer, just creeps me out every time I look at him.
55. Matthew Todd the Editor of Attitude magazine. Now I must confess Matthew I didn’t know who you were until recently. I picked up a copy of this months Attitude entitled “The ‘Issues’ Issue” because of the feature “We’ve found the secret to being gay and happy” and I’m really enjoying reading it. Blog post coming soon, when I’ve finished the reading. Attitude has always made refreshing reading when compared to the Gay Times, but well done on a well written and well put together issue this month. Big pat on the back for Matthew!
56. Gok Wan this year has made appearances on the TV Book Club, which isn’t as book-worm-ish as it sounds. I actually like how they tell you what a book is like and then you can sus out if it’s worth buying for yourself.
64. Russell T Davies the former writer Dr. Who seems to have gone back to life behind the lime light rather than in it as I haven’t heard much from him this year. No supprise really, those writter types prefer it there.
70. Julian Clary the entertainer seems to be making a come back to our TV screens recently following on from his former boyfriend going to Austrailia (I found that out in Attitude Magazine as well, a really informative issue). He has been writing books for a while, but I think he’s a gifted entertainer as well, so welcome back Julian, you’ve been missed, well by me anyway.
76. Will Young the former winner of Pop Idol (remember that show? God, that was a life time ago or so it seems) I haven’t seen doing anything. Get in the studio and write and sing a new album out, it’s been a while now.
100. Joe McElderry last years winner of X Factor seemed to have made it at the bottom of the list as a last minute addition. For what? I hear you ask. For coming out as gay. What made me laugh is that he sold his story to The Sun of all news papers. I remember being in ASDA the day the paper was released picking up some bits and bats and as I started to read the unorignal headline: “Joe: I’m gay” a chav said: “Like we didn’t know.” Made me smile.
Overall a lot of the people on the list I didn’t know seemed London based, which is to be expected isn’t it? Don’t you know? London is the centre of the world. Apparently.
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My dear friend Roy decided to follow in his family’s footsteps and enlist in the Royal Navy.
I wanted to maintain our friendship, to continue to support Roy, to make him laugh and to entertain him. So I came up with the idea of sending him a weekly email on random topics.
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Mental Health Wisdom contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
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