On a glorious summer’s day, my brother, my nephew and I decided to go for drinks and dinner. We caught up, exchanged views on all manor of topics and talked about the future.
You can’t beat those wonderful and spontaneous good times. With life being so busy they can be rare, but that just makes you appreciate them more.
I appreciate everyone in my life – my family and my friends and I love spending time with them all.
My mum’s getting married next week to a lovely man named Ian.
Sometime ago Ian asked me to be his best man, to which I agreed. But what could I do his Stag Do considering he doesn’t drink and nor do I? I thought to myself.
Then I came up with the idea of a fishing trip. Ian likes fishing, as does Neil, my big brother. Besides which, I’ve always said that at least once in my life I’d like to catch a fish, so here was an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone*.
So a few weekends ago, we set off to a fishery somewhere near Morecambe and Lancaster. On arrival we were greeted by the Warden who was in his fifties, had dishevled hair, a beer belly and clothes that looked like they hadn’t been washed in quite sometime.
The Warden staggered towards our car, can of Carling in hand and then stood there swaying. Ian showed him our booking form, but he looked at it as if he either was trying to get it in focus or couldn’t read it. He directed us to the Head Office, instead of Reception where we collected our keys to the static caravan. On the way to our caravan, we saw that the Warden lived just three caravans away.
As I enjoyed a coffee and cigarette on a picnic bench in front of the caravan with Ian, the Warden drove past in a Jeep, giving me an intense stir – the sort I imagine serial killers give to their intended victims. The Warden came to a stop on the road opposite our caravan and continued to stir.
Ian went over to speak to him through the Jeep window. He said in the creepiest tone of voice possible: ‘Do you know who I am?’ ‘Yes the Warden.’ Ian replied.
The Warden wound up his window, gave me a long hard stir and then slowly drove off.
During that stir I imagined that he was planning to rape me (after all, I was easily the prettiest on the site and the closest to being a woman), murder me and chop my body into pieces to feed to the fish. This sounds a little dramatic and like I’m trying to make this part of the story funny – but he really did freak me out.
So I called Neil, told him the situation and that he’d better get here before dark. I told him: This is how horror films start! That night we all chatted, played Harry Potter Top Trumps and Superhero Top Trumps, with Neil coming out as the victor.
Later, as the weekend wore on, I became slightly more relaxed about this encounter wih the Warden telling Ian and Neil with a smile: ‘Listen it’s alright for you two. You’re old, either bald or going bald. I’m the jail bait in the static caravan.’
The next day, after a big cooked breakfast was the fishing. I caught the first and by far the biggest with Ian’s kind help. There’s so much innuendo in fishing terminology; I was figuratively rolling on the floor laughing the whole weekend. Phrases like: Keep tight hold of the rod. Bait me up. Owe…what a lovely little tiddler.
Here are some photos from the day’s fishing:
Mother Duck and her Ducklings – But that isn’t what we came for.
Ian & Neil in their fishing gear.
Me in my fishing gear…I hate to say it…but I’m like the Tiger Woods of the Fishing World LOL.
This is exactly how I imagined fishing to be.
The first and biggest fish of the weekend – caught by me with help from Ian.
A close up of the big fish…definitely bigger than a gold fish.
The fish I was most proud of catching. My first fishI caught all by myself. Isn’t it a lovely little ‘tiddler?’
On Sunday, being still in recovery, I was exhausted. So while the boys went out fishing, I took it easy reading The Humans by Matt Haig. It’s an awesome book that I’ll be writing a review on when I’ve finished reading it. In the late afternoon we headed back home.
We all enjoyed the trip so much, that it is to become an annual event. Known in the family as ‘The Annual Fishing Trip.’ I love that the time spent male bonding brings us closer together as a family.
Write soon,
Antony
* No birds, fish, ducks or other animals were harmed by Ian, Neil or myself during the trip. However the odd human stranger did push his luck and came very close to being maimed.
My good friend Jayne had bought us tickets to see Ruby Wax live at The Lowry, Salford Quays for my birthday. But on the day, unfortunately Jayne wasn’t well. My anxiety went into overdrive, but I manage to arrange for Simon to come along instead.
Simon and I just made it on time and took our seats, as Ruby sat on stage about to start. Ruby had split the show into two sections. In the first she delivered a scripted, but still exceptionally funny and informative talk on why we’re screwed.
Ruby explained how she became the Poster Girl for mental illness, shared some of her experiences and schooled us in the functioning of the brain. She covered the chemicals of the brain and their functions including dopamine, serotonin and cortisol. Ruby explained what happens in the brain in the case of dysfunction – such as in the cases of depression and anxiety. Then she briefly explained how mindfulness effects the brain before taking the audience through a short mindful exercise.
After the the interval we returned to our seats for a two way discussion about mental health between Ruby and the audience. I actually reached for the microphone, which I couldn’t imagine doing when I was well let alone in recovery. But I just thought: I’m only get this opportunity once. Plus there was something about Ruby that made me feel at ease. I disclosed about being ill, to Ruby and an audience of about two hundred, no less. I explained that I had been worried about the stigma and only went to get help when I completely lost the ability to function.
I told Ruby that I agreed life getting busier, with too much information to retain and that it often felt unmanageable. I stated that often I feel like I’m not achieving anything, as every time I reach a goal – my mind moves the goal posts further away.
I explained to Ruby and the audience that I am learning to control my negative thought patterns and critical inner voice. I said that I feel that I can control my thoughts, but that I struggle with controlling my feelings. I asked Ruby what she thought the difference was. She said that there was none, that they were both just chemicals in the brain.
Other people asked Ruby questions, shared their experiences or explained projects that they were involved with around mental health. Then Ruby brought the show to a conclusion.
Afterwards, I treated myself to two of Ruby’s books (see below). She thanked me for my question and she was kind enough to sign both of the books for me.
Treated Myself to Ruby Wax’s two books – both of which she kindly signed.
I did become a little star struck, being so close to this inspirational woman. – Sorry about that Ruby.
Overall the experience including the Sane New World show, discussion and book signing left me feeling less alone and that Ruby is without doubt a inspirational, funny and informative woman. Thank you Ruby. It was a superb experience that I would recommend anyone whose experienced poor mental health, been effected by another’s poor mental health, or is just interested in keeping mentally well.
Oh and if you can’t get to see her, you can buy her book Sane New World on Amazon.
Recently was my 29th birthday. For the first time since I can remember I had no plans. That week I had gone back to work on a phased return, so although I was off work on my birthday I was exhausted. So I took it easy and did as little as possible. It felt great to have no pressure to do anything. But next year I’ll be making big plans, especially as it’s the big 3-0.
By 11:30am I was overwhelmed by the number of people who’d left birthday wishes on my Facebook wall. Mum and Ian nipped round after lunch time and that was it for my day. As always I was fortunate to kindly to receive many cards and presents off family and friends.
My New Crystals: Christina, Chris and Quartzy. All on my new Clear Quartz Crystal Bed.
The presents were plentiful and are still coming. These included a clear quartz bed and three quartz crystals (pictured left). I’ve named them Christina, Chris and Quartzy like when Sid off Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs names the T-Rex eggs Egbert, Yoko and Shelly.
Simon got me a Yankee Candle (among other things) and we went out for dinner. Kay bought me Him & Me by Michael & Jack Whitehall (pictured below left).
I’ve started a Minion Family. Steve bought me the small wind up minion Bob (the one with the teddy). I was bought the medium-sized minions that flashes multiple coloured and the small wind up minion Stuart (the one with the guitar) (Pictured below right).
Yankee Candle off Simon and Him & Me book off Kay. 🙂
My Minion Family – New Minions are the medium sized one that glows different colours and the two smaller wind up ones.
Books & DVDs Bought With Birthday Money 🙂
People were incredibly generous and gave me some money. With the money I bought some books, DVDs and a box set off Amazon (pictured left). Here is what I treated myself to:
Jayne kindly bought us tickets to see Ruby Wax in her show Sane New World. There’s so much to say about the show that I’ll write a separate blog post. But words that spring to mind when I think about the show are: inspirational, funny and informative.
A huge thank you for everyone that sent me well wishes, bought me cards and presents. Thank you again. It is very kind of you.
At one point on my birthday, I felt a little sad that I’d done nothing and planned nothing on my birthday. But I’ve realised that as the year roles on I’ve got plenty to look forward to including:
Mum and Ian getting married and my mum’s 50th.
A fishing trip stag do.
Simon’s birthday.
Summer is coming which means warmer weather and more sunshine.
