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1 Life Lesson I’ve Learned for Every Year of My Adult Life

By ThinkingNo Comments

Life is about growth through learning and experience. So here’s 1 lesson life has taught me for every year of my adult live:

Age 18 – The importance of good and lifelong friendships. What makes a good friend including care, kindness, a sense of humour and loyalty.

Age 19 – The importance of having joy in my life. Creating opportunities for joy, seeking it out and chasing it are all essential activities for me.

Madame Tussaunds Blackpool on a thrown

Me on a thrown
Antony-Simpson-Writer

Me

Age 20 – That I’m never going to please everyone. Not everyone will like me or get me. That doesn’t mean I should stop trying. If I can make somebody laugh with a funny story or a joke, I’m going to do it. The smile or laughter is always worth it for me.

I just accept that not everyone is going to be pleased with what I do or don’t do. As long as I am happy with my intentions, actions and omissions, that’s good enough for me.

Age 21 – A diagnosis of a chronic illness (in my case type 1 diabetes) starts with grief. I mourned the loss of my working pancreas and cursed my faulty immune system.

Age 22 – Independence is extremely important to me. Getting my driving licence and being smothered in a relationship both helped me to realise this.

Age 23 – In the outside world many people are far to happy to psychologically tear strips off you. So inside your home should feel safe, full of compassion and be filled with a feeling of care. How I felt at home when I was younger and buying my own apartment helped me to realise this.

Age 24 – Sometimes I just have to do certain things, otherwise I’d always wonder What if?

Heartbreak sometimes heals with the passage of time. A lot of time. More than days, weeks or months. Years. Sometimes even longer than that.

Sometimes the heart doesn’t heal at all, it just scabs over like a scraped knee. Ready for you to pick at it or for something to come along and reopen the wound.

Age 25 – Not everyone gets to live a full and long life. This feels unfair. Life is precious.

The shock of an unexpected death is a thousand times worse than the grief of the loss. It is spiritually, mentally and emotionally exhausting. The disbelief that comes from the shock can last years and make it impossible to grief.

Age 26 – There’s something magic about new babies and they smell totally awesome.

Age 27 – The past is a nice place to visit, the future is a nice place to imagine, but you shouldn’t live in either of them. Live in the present.

Age 28 – The extreme highs and lows of mood I’ve had since my teenage years are not normal. Most people have a pretty stable mood.

Mood stabiliser and antidepressant medications saved more than just my mind, they saved my life.

Age 29 – Travel broadens my mind, fills my heart with goodness and strengthens my soul. If you have the opportunity to travel do. I learned this through visiting India, which has a special place in my heart.

IndiaJuly2015-TajMahal-8

Me with the Taj Mahal in the background (2).

Age 30 – Creativity enriches every aspect of myself. Stories (written, films, etc.) ignite my imagination and develop my empathy. Art and sculptures help me appreciate the beauty that the creators saw in the world around them or in their mind. Music helps me to feel and gives me the opportunity to dance.

To create something, whatever it is, is a learning process. Sometimes creative projects go well, other times not. But I always learn things from them. The process of creating something makes me feel alive and all lit up – even if it’s just a blog post like this one.

To share something I’ve created with the world makes me super-anxious. But when somebody tells me that my creative project has had some sort emotional resonance with them it becomes a privilege.

soulmates-cover-page

Soulmates (Short Story)
The Finished Product: My homemade candles look great (1).

The Finished Product: Just 1 of the 22 completed (unlit).

The Good Teen (Short Story)

Age 31 – When you do something you love for a job, it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like a vocation and a passion.

Write soon,

Antony

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Thursday 22 February 2018

Today the World has Lost a Great Source of Laughter

By Gigs & Shows, Happiness & Joy, Inspiration, ThinkingNo Comments

victoria-wood-funny-image

Victoria Wood Funny Image (from: ‘An Audience with Victoria Wood,’ December 1998)

It is with great sadness that I write this blog post. Today Victoria Wood died, after a short battle with cancer at the age of just sixty two.

Victoria was an exceptionally funny Comedian, Actress and Writer. I feel that we have lost a great source of laughter in the world.

Victoria came from humble beginnings, being born and raised in Rochdale, Lancashire, in the North West of England. Victoria moved down to London to pursue her dream of becoming an Entertainer. In an interview with Victoria she once said that she always knew that she wanted to be a performer.

Victoria had much success and recognition in her career working in the mediums of stand-up comedy, sketches scene comedy, musical comedy and script writing. She has worked on TV, radio and theatre shows.

Through Victoria’s TV work she touched the hearts and resonated with millions of people across the country. This was likely because of her very down to earth and human approach to the audience. In Victoria’s shows she was always ahead of the times. All of her previous work is as relevant today as the day she wrote/performed it.

When Victoria first started out in mainstream comedy, all Comedians were male. It is said by some that Victoria led the way for other female Comedians – the likes of French & Saunders.

In Victoria’s personal life, she married young and has had two children. My thoughts are with her family. Victoria also disclosed and has talked openly about having depression.

victoria-wood-dvds

My Victoria Wood DVD Collection, along with other DVDs by female comedians.

 For me Victoria was and is a constant source of laughter. Proper laugh-out-loud laughter.

Left is an image of my Victoria Wood DVDs. Some of them I have watched so often that I could repeat them to you word by word. Yet they still make me laugh. Victoria was a clever comedian that found the fun and humour in the often otherwise ordinary. I wish she had toured in the last few years, so I could have seen her live.

Victoria Wood is also a source of connection to my good friend Sye. We have often watched Victoria Wood DVDs together and laughed. The laughter helping to cement our friendship through our shared love of Victoria’s comedy and the shared experiences of watching together.

I heard the news of her death on the radio whilst driving home from work. My initial thought was one of disbelief.

I had to check several newspaper websites when I got home from work. Then I sat down in shock. Victoria has often worked with the same people throughout her career, many of whom were older than her. Yet she has died before them. Just goes to show, you never know how much time you have on this planet.

My third feeling and the one that’s stayed is a feeling of sadness. Think of how much unfinished ideas and creative works she wasn’t able to complete. Think of the new jokes and tales of laughter she was planning on sharing. Very sad.

Write soon,

Antony

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Wednesday 20 April 2016

Grief

By Thinking2 Comments

It’s an odd thing to loose someone in such a permanent way as death. The days and nights merge in to one; you can’t remember what you did or didn’t do and when. People call it ‘grief’ and it is an unpredictable creature, you don’t know how your going feel from one minute to the next. I am about to write about some of what I’ve experienced so far, but please bare in mind the unpredictability of this creature.

Shock – Initially to see him lying in the hospital was shocking.

Disbelief – This followed at the hospital and still continues now.

Anger – At the situation. Taken out on inanimate objects (please note that no objects were harmed or damaged).

Denial – Particularly when planning the funeral.

Waves of sadness – Triggered off by the smallest of things, such as his cup at mums.

Bargaining – At least he had 18 good years with family & friends that loved him.

Mother Hen-ing – Supporting others to deal with their feelings, putting mine to one side.

Humour – To diffuse tense atmospheres, saying things like “Alex would have loved the attention”.

Self Destruction – Limited to chain smoking and drinking too much alcohol.

Unrested Sleep – Sleeping a lot more than I normally would but waking up feeling more tired.

Self Neglect / Low Motivation – Eating crap food, only bathing when I absolutely need too, being energyless and staying in bed watching crappy TV. All in my pyjamas. Feeling like I don’t want to and can’t face seeing anyone.

Avoidance – Ignoring the event entirely. Becoming focus and involved on whatever crap TV I’m watching at the time.

It’s difficult at times, but I’ll get there. With the love, support and kindness of my dear family and friends.

Write soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Sunday 30 January 2011
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