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passion

All Writing And No Play

By Books & Authors, Journalism, Life2 Comments
christmas-mind-map-journal

Christmas Mind Map

It all started with an idea I had for a Christmas themed short story. One I intended to share with you, dear readers. I hoped to start the tradition, releasing a short story every Christmas. A present to you all. But then I saw a call for submissions and decided to use the story I’d started writing. I had to finish writing it, edit it, cut it down and finally un-Christmas it, but got it submitted.

Then I was invited to submit a short story for an anthropology, that I didn’t want to say no to. I also found two other anthropology competitions that I want to enter. This means a lot of my free time is being spent writing at the moment. I have deadlines till June. I hope to have a new short story to share with you later on in the year. When you make submissions, you can’t share the story anywhere, well not until Editors have decided that they don’t want it.

On top of these short stories, I’ve started the Advanced Creative Writing Course at Runshaw College and continue to write for The Gay UK, both adding additional pressure to my free time. You can read my published articles on professional portfolio.

Recently my blog has consisted of mostly book reviews. Don’t think that I’m slowly turning it into a reviewing site. My blog has always been a place to express myself and share events of my life through words and photos. This shall continue, I just have been expressing myself in short story form and haven’t done anything, apart from write, to share.

Despite my lack of personal posts my blog continues to grow. I’ve had 20,000 unique visitors in less than 17 months:


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I’m not sure that the WordPress plugin Jetpack is capturing all of the visitors though; as I also use another stats software that reports the numbers of visitors being higher.

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Sye & Me at Barry Humphries Show

There has been some fun. Sye and I went to see Barry Humphries: The Eat, Pray and Laugh Farewell Tour.

I’m continuing one of my favourite pastimes, reading. I’m currently reading: Plague by Michael Grant, The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett, The Awakening by Yvonne Heidt, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks and am about to start Best Gay Romance 2014 Edited By Lambert & Cochrane.

My birthday is coming up and I intend on doing something to celebrate, I’m just not sure as to what yet.

Blog soon,

Antony



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What makes a relationship work?

By Life, Love & Relationships, Thinking2 Comments

Hi All,

Missed me? I’ve been away at David’s for the first whole week ever. He doesn’t have the internet, hense no opportunity to blog. The week reminded me what I have learn’t about What makes a relationship work from past relationships as well as the present one with David. So here’s what I’ve learn’t:

Expectations
In order to make a relationship work you must know what you want out of it. Your expectations. Many relationship experts recommend if your single you make a list, so you know what your looking for. What these relationship experts often for get to tell you is that you also need to find out what your partner expects out of the relationship too. There’s two people in a relationship you know!

Issues
First you need to recognise your internal issues and then you need to start to deal with them. Whether it’s letting go of the past or dealing with your insecurities you need to deal with the psychological baggage we pick up as we go through life. One of the issues that many people have is confidence.

You must have confidence in yourself and who you are as a person. Someone once said to me: How can you expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself? Confidence is a difficult thing to quantify but you know if you have it or not in a relationship. It is also equally difficult to build confidence, but it is doable.

Your partner will also have some of the psychological baggage or ‘issues’ that we all pick up in life. You can help by discussing both of your issues together and dealing with them together.

Communication
Communication that clear and honest is vital in any relationship. David and I have had a few arguements (see Job Interview & David and A mad week!) and they are always to do with unclear communication.

A recent example of unclear communication between David and I was the Monday (the 2nd night staying at his apartment). He was tired and had to wait for me to get in. I had forgot to mention to him that I was going to a friend’s and when I did I didn’t let him know when I would be home.

Result: an arguement. My issue getting my level of independance right (one of my ‘issues’) and his the lack of clear communication.

A Mental and Physical Connection
A mental connection also called companionship or friendship. Many people say “my partner is my best friend.” Now whereas I probably wouldn’t say they should be your best friend (as it would make you too reliant on them), they should come close. Mutal interests aid this mental connection. As does sharing the same personality characteristics (such as both playful, serious, artistic, etc.).

A physical connection, passion is also vital. You must fancy them, as much as they fancy you. Couples are strange. Some spend the whole ‘honeymood period’ in bed whereas other couples physical connection enhances as time goes by and they get comfortable with one another.

All couples will have their own way this area of their relationship develops. Your fine as long as it continually developing and not becoming routine or worse none exisistant. If this happens there are plenty of books that will give you advice on how to spice up the bedroom department.

Trust
I have seen many relationships break down due to a lack of trust between and in one another. Trust is a odd thing, it is a feeling of utter secure-ness. Like a duvet rapped tightly around yourself making you feel all warm, snug and secure. One of the wonderful things about being in a relationship with David is that I trust him 100%. In addition to this, the duvet feeling he immitates when he hugs me tightly in bed.

A Sense of Humour
For me one of the most wonderful thing is laughter. Laughter to me is the verbalised form of happiness. So a relationship with humour is a relationship with happiness. We all have essentially a sense of humour but sometimes we keep it locked inside. So every now and again, release it and let it out to play!

Individuality & Independance
Getting the right balance of individuality and independance is important. And definitately (from my own experience) not easy. Individuality is about remaining who you are. You are bound to pick up character traits, sayings and little ways off your partner but it is essential that you are you. Your partner fell for you, not for a clone of themselves.

Independance is about doing your own thing. This is benefical in as it gives you space and allows you not to become dependant on your significant other. Both you and your partner need your space in order to continue to grow and develop as individuals and neither of you wants to be completely dependant up on the other.

Rituals
I’m not talking pagan here (see Pagan Festivals). Rituals are little routines that you and your partner do together. Whether it’s Wednesday night take away night or staying in bed till late Sunday these routines allow you spend quality time together and bring your closer together.

Support
We all need support at times, whether we like to admit it or not. There will be hard times when you need support in a variety of senses: beit emotional stress, financial stress, ill health, etc. You need to realise when your partner needs support and he does you (this is made much easier with open, honest, clear communication).

Support can be offered in many ways. Being a sounding board for him, practical support (shopping for him during a stressful move), but even just being there with a calm stress-free energy can help.

So…
So this is what I’ve learn’t. I hope it is useful for your relationship. And if your single – I hope it helps you when you meet someone.

Blog soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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