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The Happiest I Have Ever Been

By Creativity, Friends & Family, Gay, Health, Life, Love & Relationships, Money / Finances, Thinking2 Comments

Just over a year ago, I felt numb and like I was coasting through life. I was existing, rather than living. I hadn’t been well for a while and had recently been diagnosed with vasculitis.

People with vasculitis have a significantly reduced life expectancy when compared to that of the average person. This diagnosis caused me to re-think every aspect of my life. It caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.

So then I started asking myself: What would make you happier? I had to look at everything: my health, my work, my relationships with others, my passions (including writing), my finances, my home life, my mental & emotional health.

It was a daunting task. Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.

Change is always hard. Our brains like patterns of behaviour. They are key to our survival as a species, but not key to a healthier and happier life.

So I got counselling. I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes: prioritising my health, changing jobs, working with others to improve relationships – resetting of expectations and putting in boundaries, getting back on the dating apps, working on a more balanced approach to pursuing my passions, reducing my financial outgoings were possible and trying harder to stick to a budget, getting rid of excess clutter at home and generally taking better care of my mental and emotional health.

None of it was easy. And I’m still not where I want to be. But I’m pleased to say my health has improved in some areas such as my diabetes management & mental health. I am also happier than I can ever remember being.

Write soon,

Antony

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My India Adventure (Part 1) – The Journey, First Impressions of Delhi, The Guest House & The Family

By Adventures, Friends & Family, Happiness & Joy, Inspiration, Transportation, TravelNo Comments
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At the train station with my suitcase that I borrowed off my mum.

The Journey
I travelled by train, on Megabus and on the London Underground with plenty of walking in-between to get to Heathrow Airport.

At Heathrow I was met by Robert and Michael (Robert’s father). After big hugs had been exchanged, we boarded a British Airways (BA) flight to Delhi, India. Robert and I sat together, with Michael close by.

The BA flight was superb. Excellent service staff, that served us with a smile and timed everything on the flight perfectly. We had free food, drinks and of course alcohol. The onboard entertainment service had the latest blockbuster films and even some games that Robert and I played together. The nine hour flight felt like it flew by.

Here are some photos from plane:

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Our British Airways Plane

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Robert and I on the plane.

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A little bubbly on the flight to celebrate.

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Me tipsy on the bubbly.

We arrived at Delhi Airport which I would soon discover was so cool because of the glorious air conditioning. Robert, Michael and I had a moment of panic after a family had accidentally picked up Michael’s hand luggage and walked off the plane with it. But after a quick paced jog, the family were found and the hand luggage was safely returned. No harm done.

Then we stopped a foggy smoking room (it had no windows) so that I could feed my nicotine-addicted brain receptors and then glided through immigration, security and baggage collection without incident.

While waiting at the baggage collection, Robert took the opportunity to transform himself from Weary Traveller to Handsome Groom-to-be. It was an impressive feat and one that I understood as he hadn’t seen his fiancée Neha in quite sometime.

Stepping outside at Arrivals at Delhi Airport was like stepping into an oven on its highest setting. There were a sea of people and with lots of noise, presumably waiting to greet other travellers. Then we saw Neha – she was everything I expected and more. Gorgeous, intelligent and simply wonderful. Neha and her family helped Robert, Michael and I with our suitcases and bags into the car and then we set off away from the airport and into the city beyond.

First Impressions
My first impressions of Delhi were made in the first day or two. Delhi is a progressive city that’s under constant development. Everywhere you look infrastructure is being improved and new buildings (homes, businesses and hotels) are being built.

Driving in Delhi at first appears to be a free for all, complete with frequent sudden breaking and incessant use of horns. But the more time you send on the road, the more you realise that there’s lots of unwritten rules. That said, every car in Delhi has a body that’s covered in scratches and dents.

During the day, cows were often seen grazing at the side of the road. They were apparently owned.

At night, many dogs were seen on the streets of Delhi. These street dogs aren’t owned by anyone and have to scavenge for survival. Throughout my time in Delhi I only saw one dog on a lead that was being kept as a pet.

Delhi appeared to be a Patriarchal society. However, I was reliably informed that this is changing. More women are working, getting protection so that if they get pregnant employers can’t sack them and some are even getting maternity pay. This was good to hear and gave me the impression that Delhi is a progressively liberal city; one that’s getting more liberal as time goes by. Delhi appeared to be working towards gender equality, with other types of equality are likely to follow on from this.

The Guest House
The guest house was clean an gave Robert, Michael and I ampul space. Each of our room’s were ensuite and had air conditioning. The Wifi left a lot to be desired – but this didn’t bother me, as it turned out there would be very little time to check Facebook anyway.

Indians that call the Bathroom the Washroom. Delhi has low water pressure, so to shower you fill a big bucket (see Washroom photos below) with water and then use a smaller jug to pour water over your body as required. In my bathroom there were plugs and wiring above the toilet. I felt slightly uncomfortable with this, I growing up I had been taught that electricity and water don’t mix. But apparently there’s no health and safety in India – so I just rolled with it.

I had cold showers for three days before I realised that there was a water heater outside, wired to a plug above the toilet and that there was a separate switch in the bathroom to turn the plug socket on. The Guest House staff only spoke Hindi so I had to discover these things for myself. Here are some photos from the Guest House:

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Guest House: Room (1)

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Guest House: Room (2)

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Guest House: Washroom (1).

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Guest House: Washroom (2).

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Guest House: Washroom (3).

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Guest House: View from the balcony.

The Family
The family included Neha’s parents, Neha’s two sisters, Neha’s two brother-in-law’s and their children. They were all such lovely people. They were kind and generous and looked after Robert, Michael and I really well. We were all treated like part of the family. It was especially kind of them to treat me in this way as I was an extra who was just Robert’s friend – owe there’s my inferiority complex kicking in there. Each of the family members have left a special place in my heart. Thank you doesn’t seem like a good enough phrase to express my gratitude.

I have deliberately excluded photos of the family here, as I don’t post photos of people without permission. It was such a busy week that I did get the opportunity to ask them for their permission.

I particularly loved the family meals at the home of Neha’s parents. They were easily the best indian food I’d ever tasted – but more on that in another blog post.

On the night before Robert and Neha’s wedding, to celebrate a birthday of one of the brother-in-law’s the men in the family went to this fantastic five star hotel bar for drinks. I had a Cosmopolitan, which was buy one get one free. Just look at how fantastic the bar in this five star hotel was:

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A 5* Hotel Bar (1)

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A 5* Hotel Bar (2)

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Cosmopolitan? Why not. Buy 1 get 1 free to :).

In the next blog post in the series titled My India Adventure (Part 2) – The Wedding, I will be writing all about Robert and Neha’s Wedding. It will be coming soon, so come back for that update.

Write soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Book Review: The Year I Met You by Cecelia Ahern

By Amazon, Books & Authors, ReviewsNo Comments
the-year-i-met-you-cecelia-ahern For the first time Cecelia Ahern has published two books in a year. The first was the brilliant How to Fall in Love, which I have reviewed here.

Cecelia Ahern‘s second book is the favourable The Year I Met You, which I shall review here.

The Year I Met You tells the story of two neighbours. Jasmine Butler has made her career her life, but after being sacked she is forced to take gardening leave for a year. Matt Marshall is a radio presenter on a controversial radio show, that is until an incident on the New Years Evening show leads to him being forced to take some time off-air.

Neither Jasmine or Matt cope well with their change in circumstances. Jasmine starts actually gardening. Matt drinks copious amounts of alcohol. It is at this point that Jasmine starts to notice her neighbour from across the road – Matt. The book is written from Jasmine’s perspective, with her writing to Matt referencing him as You.

All of the characters in The Year I Met You were believable and likeable. Jasmine is an meticulous people watcher who keeps the people in her life at a distance. Matt loves his family but has become entrenched in the daily grind of life. Both characters feel lost, something we have all felt.

Stylistically Jasmine’s perspective was enjoyable to begin with. However her use of You when referencing Matt did become frustrating. Luckily as the reader reaches the midway point in the book, she begins to use you a lot less. This was not only practicable, but symbolises a change in the relationship between Jasmine and Matt.

The storyline was good, but the book was slow paced. That said, there’s not a lot could have been done about it with the premise behind the story. The ending was excellent, reflective and interesting.

Overall a reasonable story. One that is an enjoyable read, but that you probably won’t read more than once. The story is essentially about the characters rediscovering who they are, their friendship that develops along the way and the transformation of themselves so that they are able to move forward.

The Year I Met You is available to buy on Amazon.

Review soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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The Biology of Addiction

By Education, The Web, ThinkingNo Comments

Although this video is about porn addiction; it explains the aetiology of all addictions:

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Whether it be: porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, cigs, food, exercise, violence, etc. the mechanism in the brain – the neurological reward pathway operates in the same way.

Just thought it might be of interest. They reckon about 10% of people experience addiction at some point in their lives. I myself have an addiction to nicotine – something I need to work on. Have a watch, go on, I’ll wait.

What’s interesting to me, is the transformation people undertake. They have to identify their addiction and make the choice to deal with it. This transformation process is a difficult one; with the individual having to work on deep rooted issues. And most people don’t get it right the first time; but when they finally do it’s an incredible sight to behold. It gives me real hope in the strength of the human spirit.

Blog soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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