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I’m so vain

By Health, LifeNo Comments

This all started when talking to a friend of a friend. “So go on then…how old do you think I am? I asked.
“Twenty eight?” My face visabley dropped. And I decided it was time to get vain.

So here’s what I don’t like about myself and what I intend to do about it:

1. Teeth – They have been discoloured since I was a teenager. Yet they are healthy, not a single filling in my life and good strong roots on them. The discolouration has always bothered me. So I have decided next month to have them lazer whitened at Style Smile. (If they are any good and effective, I’ll let you know!).

2. Hair – It’s getting a bit long and frizzy again, I have to admit. For a gay man sometimes I let my hair get a bit messy. So it’s a new hair style with regular visits to the hair dresser to main tain it. I just don’t know what style to have, ideas anyone?

3. Clothes – I’ve got some nice clothes, but as a gay man, can you ever have enough? Plus my style maybe needs to have a slight make over? I always go for the safe options. I need to take a few risks with my style. Maybe they’ll pay off?

4. Under Eyes – Sometimes I have massive scary looking bags under my eyes. I was considering extreme actions to get rid or reduce them but someone suggested buying some consealer. So I shall buy some consealer and let you know how I get on.

Blog vainly soon,

Antony

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The blood debate continues

By Gay, Health, Thinking3 Comments

I recently read this Pink News article entitled “Government defends ban on gay men giving blood”.

Ms Primarolo, the Minister of State for Public Health, said:

“Current policy excludes men who have ever had sex with men, whatever their sexual orientation, from blood donation.

“The United Kingdom adopts a highly precautionary approach to blood safety.

“The guiding principle is that if the best available evidence shows that there are reasonable grounds to believe that a course of action will improve the safety of the blood, this action should be taken.

“The Department is committed to regularly reviewing this evidence, and has asked its expert advisory committee on the Safety of Blood, Tissues and Organs to do this in 2009.”
(from: Pink News Last accessed: 12th February 09)

So let’s look at the debate For & Against

For

  • The National Blood Service (NBS) test the blood for HIV and other infections anyway.
  • There have been massive HIV education and safe sex initiatives nationally aimed at the gay community generally as well as specific ones aimed at men who have sex with men. (This is easily visable if you walk in to any gay bar – all will have condoms.)
  • The evidence base that the National Blood Service (NBS) use to justify the ban is out of date. (If you email them – they will send you the related evidence.) In addition to this you can use evidence base to prove almost anything by selecting the evidence that demonstrates what you wish it too.
  • Recently HIV rates have increased and continue to do so in hetrosexuals (see Hetrosexual HIV Cases Show An Increase). Despite this they have not banned Hetrosexuals. This point justifies my next:
  • Hetrosexuals can be as sexually risky as men whom have sex with men.
  • Why a life time ban? What if you are a man that’s had sex with a man but had a HIV (and other STI’s tests) that have all come back negative. These men are still unable to give blood, even though they have been screened as negative (and may not have had sex since).
  • Equality. The Goods and Services Legislation (2007) state that people should not be excluded from services because of their sexual orintation. The NBS is a service and is excluding men that have sex with men (of which a large proporation identify as gay or bisexual) because of the very fact of their sexual orintation.
  • The final reason relates to the fact that there is a storage of blood donors and blood. The NBS is excluding a whole community of people when there is a shortage of both donors and blood. This doesn’t make sense to me. I mean they test the blood (and/or it’s components) anyway.
  • Against

  • The safety of the blood. Men who have sex with men are at a higher risk of HIV infection.
  • Men who have sex with men are a minority group. A much smaller community than the mainstream community. Therefore the HIV transmittion is likely to spread through a smaller community quicker as men are more likely to come in to contact with a HIV positive person.
  • Thinking about it I think the NBS are hiding behind the “safety of the blood” statement. They refuse to recognise that as men who have sex with men are a smaller group and as such their rates of HIV transmittion are always going to be higher than that of a much larger community.

    Interesting linka:
    Facts missing in HIV-blood debate
    NBS – Position Statement
    PETER TATCHELL says the ban on gay blood donors is based on homophobic myths that stereotype and demonise gay men.
    NUS – LGBT Donation not discrimination
    My Telegraph – Mike Rouse

    The last link My Telegraph – Mike Rouse, relates to a online petition to the Prime Ministers No. 10 site that I signed (see No. 10 Petitions). A total of 5,234 signatures signed the petition at the time. But I think we didn’t have a massive response as many people in the hetrosexual world are totally unaware of this ban.

    This post demonstrates that there aren’t many reasons against why men who have sex with men giving blood, yet there are many reasons for men who have sex with men to give blood.

    Just food for thought,

    Antony

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    Ups and Downs

    By Friends & Family, Health, Life, Love & Relationships, Paganism, Shopping, Technology, Thinking2 Comments

    The weekend started really on Saturday. David and I had arranged to have a chat following the weekend prior (see Job Interview & David).

    I had picked up my new BlackBerry Storm (see The phone we forgot) prior to setting out to drive to his, an Up. The Down about this was that as I had choose to keep my existing mobile number I had to wait for the PAC to transfer over, so the handset was unusable for 72 hours.

    David jumped in the car to help me find parking. Once we had found it, we had to stay with the car until we were allowed to legally park there. David was initially closed. I had come open minded, but still with the one thought: that I am fed up arguing.

    But what I didn’t count on was how I’d react and connect to David’s addictive energy once again. We ended up going out shopping (bought this fantastic t-shirt, I will have to post a pic!) and for a meal in the evening. The day and evening was amazing (Up), but somehow we didn’t manage to discuss the argument (a definite Down).

    Sunday I head back home. I had promised my friend a reiki session (see Reiki one – Qualified) and had to prepare. I had a bath were I cleansed, protected and grounded my energies. I put some reiki healing energy in to some candles and collected my oils, the burner, the reiki-ed candles, crystals, etc. together.

    The great thing about a reiki session is that you as the practitioner also get a reiki treatment too, so add that to the reiki I had done in the bath (cleansing, protecting & grounding) and I had a total of 2 reiki treatments. A definite Up.

    Reiki is a stress-relief energy treatment. For more about how to destress please see my Relaxation post.

    I would like to thank my friend for allowing me to give him some reiki treatment and for the nice food he bought me afterwards. Food is always a Up.

    So that was my weekend, definitely more Ups than Downs!

    Publish more soon,

    Antony

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    Maintaining Motivation

    By Happiness & Joy, Health, Life, Thinking2 Comments

    If you are like me you have set your Goals for 2009 (although you may have called them New Years Resolutions. I struggle with my motivation to keep them. One day I will have a high level of motivation and do really well and another day I will have a low level of motivation and not achieve any of them.

    So here is some advice on how to maintain that motivation and keep on track with your goals or resolutions in 2009. (Simliar to the Relaxation post I did some time ago).

    Family & Friends
    Our family and friends have a massive influence on our life (just see People that inspire me). So when your motivation is low go to them for some support. They’ll give you plenty of positive encouragement that can give your motivation levels a real boost. Better yet if you can get them involved even better.

    So for example if you are going to the gym as a new years resolution, why not encourage them to tag along? This will give you moral support everytime you go! Plus it will get you both healthier. Win, win situation.

    Pro’s and Con’s
    Pro’s are the benefits of you doing / not doing something. So for example the benefits for not smoking could include:

  • More money
  • Improved breathing & Overall feeling of well-being
  • Better sense of taste
  • Smell better
  • etc.
  • When motivation levels are low it can be good to list the Pro’s of doing or not doing something. Listing the Con’s also help. So using smoking as the example again, these could include:

  • Poor health – increased illnesses
  • Less money
  • Ruled by your addition
  • Smell & others reactions to it.
  • Smoking in the rain.
  • etc.
  • Hopefully you’ll have more Con’s than Pro’s but it is important that you focus on the Pro’s when your motivation levels are low. Keep the list of Pro’s and keep revisiting it to increase your motivation levels.

    Just for today…
    We tend to want the things in life we are trying to deny ourselfs. So a good motivation method I do is simply not to deny myself anything. I say: Just for today, I will eat healthier and take my break at work. It is a psychological trick I play on myself verbalised as a positive affirmation. I works really well for me.

    Recognise how far you have come.
    Many people only realise when they slip up or don’t achieve the end result. It is important if your motivation levels are low to recognise how far you have come and congratulate yourself! Well done on getting this far! Just a little further to go – you can do it

    Treat yourself
    If your having a particularly hard or difficult week in terms of your motivation levels, treat yourself. Buy yourself a gift to reward the hard work that you have done. This could be something inexpensive like a cake or something more expensive like a DVD. Go and buy it in the shops as then you have it there and then – an appreciation from yourself of the hard work. Buying online – you have to wait for delivery, and the gift to yourself doesn’t quite feel the same because of the delay. You need your reward there and then for the achievement you have succeded in completing. Repeat as necessary.

    Religious
    In this case, you have to be the judgement on how your own religion will enhance your motivation levels. For some prayers will increase their motivation. Whereas for me I would probably cast a spell for motivation.

    If you don’t do that well…
    Start again tomorrow. Noboday achieved all of their goals or new years resolutions on the first attempt. It’s important you just start again tomorrow! Don’t leave it and make excuses to yourself and delay starting again!

    Hope that’s useful my friends,

    Antony

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