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mental & emotional health

Book Review: Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig

By Amazon, Books & Authors, Health, Inspiration, Reviews, ThinkingNo Comments
reasons-to-stay-alive-matt-haig After reading the unique and brilliant novel The Humans by Matt Haig, I decided to Google him to learn more about this extradorinaiy Author.

I discovered that he had suffered with poor mental health in the past and was releasing Reasons To Stay Alive on the topic of mental health. So I immediately ordered Reasons To Stay Alive to see what he had to say on the subject.

In Reasons To Stay Alive, Haig shares his own experience of anxiety and depression, starting with a note to the reader explaining that these are his experiences and that other people might experience anxiety and depression in differing ways.

His book is split into five sections. His first is Falling where he writes about symptoms, suicide (including some of the reasons why men are more at risk of suicide) and the facts about depression and anxiety.

Throughout Reasons To Stay Alive there are little gems of good advice. In Falling for example, Haig writes about The Bank of Bad Days (see below). I have found having a Bank of Bad Days extremely useful.

Bank of Bad Days

WHEN YOU ARE very depressed or anxious – unable to leave the house, or the sofa, or to think of anything but the depression – it can be unbearably hard. Bad days come in degrees. They are not all equally bad. And the really bad ones, though horrible to live through, are useful for later. You store them up. A bank of bad days. The day you had to run out of the supermarket. The day you were so depressed your tongue wouldn’t move. The day you made your parents cry. The day you nearly threw yourself off a cliff. So you are having another bad day you can say, Well, this feels bad, but there have been worse. And even when you can think of no worse day – when you are living in the very worst there has ever been – you at least know the bank exists and that you have made a deposit.

(From: Reasons To Stay Alive, by Matt Haig, p. 52, 2015. Copyright © Matt Haig 2015.)

The second section is Landing where he writes a lot about some of his key experiences, as well as the warning signs of depression and anxiety.

The third section is Rising where Haig covers panic attacks, the importance of love, how to be there for someone with depression or anxiety and famous people that have suffered from depression and anxiety. This entire section aims to tell someone experiencing poor mental health that they are not alone.

Living is the fourth section of the book and focuses on recovery from depression and anxiety. This section covers the importance of slowing down, lists reasons to live, lists things that make Haig’s mental health worse and sometimes better.

Being is the last section of the book and gives forty pieces of advice that Haig feels are helpful.

The presentation of the book is good. It’s a small white hardback book, with small chapters (some only a page long), which because of his writing style as easy-to-read and engaging.

Reasons To Stay Alive is one of the better books written about poor mental health on the market. It is a quick and easy-to-read book that is well worth a read.

Reasons To Stay Alive is available to buy on Amazon or at all good bookshops.

Review soon,

Antony

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Finally…in Recovery and getting Back to Life

By Health, Life, ThinkingNo Comments
me-drinking-coffee

Me Drinking Coffee. Slowly Getting Back to Life 🙂

In January, everything stopped. I stopped being able to function and was ill. The truth is that I had been ill for a long time before this, but that I had continued to solider on – hoping that I would start to feel better.

Here were some of my symptoms:
Tick Box Bullet Point No concentration span. I wasn’t able to watch TV or films, read or write. I didn’t feel safe to drive, so I didn’t.
Tick Box Bullet Point Short term memory loss.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling constantly exhausted despite sleeping for many, many hours.
Tick Box Bullet Point Some insomnia and night terrors.
Tick Box Bullet Point Back pain – despite resting and regularly completing physiotherapy exercises.
Tick Box Bullet Point Head aches.
Tick Box Bullet Point Stomach ache/constipation despite eating a reasonably good diet.
Tick Box Bullet Point Poor personal hygiene and not cleaning my home environment.
Tick Box Bullet Point Overeating or forcing myself to eat despite feeling that I didn’t want to.

Tick Box Bullet Point No motivation – I found it extremely difficult and tiring to do the smallest of tasks.
Tick Box Bullet Point Reckless spending of money – mostly through online shopping.
Tick Box Bullet Point Any extremely variable mood which changed throughout the day and night. From being void of any feelings to a tornado of fast swirling feelings including: guilt, inadequacy and feeling like a failure.
Tick Box Bullet Point Anxiety – resulting in becoming antisocial and finding it difficult to leave home.
Tick Box Bullet Point Worry and panic about what people would think of me.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling hopeless, which is the worst feeling in the world.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling like I was loosing my mind.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling like I was falling down a dark bottomless pit.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling frustrated at not being able to snap out of it and that nothing I did made a difference to how I felt or my ability to function.
Tick Box Bullet Point Overly self-critical thoughts and zero self esteem. A critical inner voice that was loud and repetitive.
Tick Box Bullet Point At two particularly bad points I suffered from compulsions to end my life.
Tick Box Bullet Point In short, feeling like my mind, body and soul were being devoured and destroyed by this illness.

So I went to see my GP who completed the PHQ depression test and diagnosed me with severe clinical depression. At several points throughout my treatment, this test was repeated to check on my progress. At one point, I was scoring 24 out of a possible 27. My GP started me on antidepressants and encouraged me to self-refer for counselling.

The first antidepressant didn’t work, despite gradually increasing the dose to the maximum. Apparently this is really common, happening to at least 50% of people. So my GP gradually withdrew the first antidepressant and then started me on another – which thankfully is working. I self-referred to counselling, had an assessment and to this date am still on the waiting list.

January to May has felt like a write-off in every sense of the word. But I feel extremely lucky to have made it through this dark and difficult time. What’s that phrase? Ah yes…I believe I made it through by the skin on my teeth.

Looking back, I’ve had depressive tendencies for at least the last few years. I’ve been rubbish at spotting the symptoms in myself, but am much more aware of signs, symptoms and triggers now.

I’m still in recovery and it is a gradual process. I’m still on the antidepressants and will be for sometime. I’ve started taking multivitamins to make sure my body and mind is getting what it needs. But now I’m feeling good, better than I have felt in years. I’ve even started laughing again, proper belly laughs, which I haven’t done for what feels like forever.

Now I’m getting back to life. I’ve thanked those close to me for their support, love, care and kindness. I’ve gone back to work and realised that I have the most brilliant, amazing and fantastic work colleagues. They’ve been so supportive and I feel so lucky to work with such wonderful people.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Goals & New Experiences for 2015

By Adventures, Books & Authors, Creativity, Gigs & Shows, Happiness & Joy, History, Life, Nature, Paganism, ThinkingNo Comments
goals-and-adventures-large Goals For Throughout The Year
Unticked Box Read & Review 30 books.
Unticked Box Watch & Review 12 films.
Unticked Box See a show/gig.
Unticked Box Give up smoking for good.
Unticked Box Write, Edit and publish a Novella.
Unticked Box Arrange & Have a Holiday.
Unticked Box Study Something Pagan/Druid with Chrys & Simon.

New Experiences for 2015 by month:

January
Unticked Box To start Writing again.
Unticked Box To write a series of blog posts with a ‘Mental Health Focus,’ publishing one a week throughout the month.

February
Unticked Box Try Yoga. Take a Yoga class.

March
Unticked Box Visit a Museum.

April
Unticked Box See a Sunrise.
Unticked Box Visit a new place. A city or town that I’ve never been to.

May
Unticked Box Celebrate my birthday. A night out to celebrate in style. Possibly in another city or town.
Unticked Box Visit a Castle or a Pagan site.

June
Unticked Box Spend time Walking in Nature.
Unticked Box Take time out to celebrate Litha.
Unticked Box Watch Jurassic World at the cinema.

July
Unticked Box Attend Mum’s events. Birthday, etc.
Unticked Box Watch Minions at the cinema.

August
Unticked Box Visit Chester Zoo’s new Islands exhibit.

September
Unticked Box Learn to Knit.
Unticked Box Donate to charities.

October
Unticked Box Celebrate Samhain.

November
Unticked Box Take some time out to relax.

December
Unticked Box Watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens at the cinema.

Blog soon,

Antony

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My Yearly Review – 2014

By Friends & Family, Happiness & Joy, Life, Nature, PaganismNo Comments

This year I did very little in the Spring, a lot in the Summer, bits in the Autumn and Winter. Here’s what I’ve been up to this year, click on any photo for full size image:

March

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Sye & Me at Barry Humphries Show

Sye and I went to see Barry Humphries: The Eat, Pray and Laugh Farewell Tour. We had a great time. Here are some photos:

dame-edna-march-2014 dame-edna-march-2014 dame-edna-march-2014

May

Penrhos Cottage near Corris Adam and Andy's cottage

Simon popping his head out of The Lovely Cottage

Simon and I went to Mid-Wales to The Lovely Penrhos Cottage for the weekend. While there we took the time to relax. The Saturday it was gloriously sunny and hot, so we went to Aberdovey Beach. On the Sunday we went to King Arthur’s Labyrinth.

I published my short story The Good Teen. The Good Teen is a modern-day telling of The Good Samaritan parable, with a hint of magic. I wrote it after I saw a call for submissions from the BBC Radio 4 ‘Opening Lines’ programme. Unfortunately it wasn’t accepted, but it’s still a good story – even if I do say so myself.

June

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Rivington: A Gorgeous View

I spent several days walking around Rivington. I feel fortunate to have such a beautiful and gorgeous natural place close by.

My at-the-time boyfriend and I went to Blackpool to the Sealife Centre and Madame Tussauds. We saw various fish and waxworks respectively.

Steve and I went watching The Lady Boys of Bangkok in Manchester. We were both slightly disappointed with the Lady Boys to be honest, but it was still good to get out and we even managed a few alcofrolic drinks afterwards.

July

Manchester Museum Gorgosaurus Skeleton

Gorgosaurus Skeleton

I watched After The Dark (The Philosophers), which became my favourite film of 2014.

My at-the-time boyfriend and I went to Lancashire Science Festival 2014 which was both educational and intriguing. Plus it had free parking!

My at-the-time boyfriend, his housemates and I visited Manchester Museum. I loved the dinosaur exhibit.

August

light-michael-grant-book-cover I had my blog Theme Redesigned by TRH Development. I started Being Creative Everyday and sharing some of the results on the blog.

I felt saddened at the unexpected death of Robin Williams and began thinking about the importance of good mental & emotional health.

I read and reviewed Light by Michael Grant, which was the last book in The Gone Series. I thoroughly enjoyed The Gone Series which was about kids being trapped in a Dome without adults and developing powers.

September

Wales animalarium lemur

Animalarium: Lemur

I got some Amazing Illustrations from the Talented Sye Watts for my blog. I am so lucky to have such a talented friend.

A friend and I went to stay for a weekend at Penrhos Cottage and visited the Animalarium, which is Borth’s Zoo on the way home. There where some lovely animals there that looked well cared for.

October

pagan-stone-circle-large Chrys, Simon, others and I celebrated Samhain!

November

harry-potter-studio-tour

Various Magical Creatures.

My at-the-time boyfriend and I broke up.

I made small Charitable Donations to JDRF, The Human Rights Campaign (US), The Brain Tumour Charity (UK) and to make a film about the sell-off of the NHS.

Mum and I went on a Trip to London where we shopped and visited The Making of Harry Potter Studio Tour.

December

wrapped-christmas-presents-2014

Some Presents I’ve Wrapped for Christmas

Christmas has been relaxed, enjoyable and fun. I have celebrated it with family and friends. People have kindly bought presents for me:

christmas-presents-2014

Presents Kindly Bought For Me.

But the best thing was the opportunity to spend time with people that I love.

Next year I’ll be spreading out activities, experiences and goals throughout the year. So keep an eye out for my Goals & New Experiences for 2015 blog post.

Blog soon,

Antony

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