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happiness and joy

The Happiest I Have Ever Been

By Creativity, Friends & Family, Gay, Health, Life, Love & Relationships, Money / Finances, Thinking2 Comments

Just over a year ago, I felt numb and like I was coasting through life. I was existing, rather than living. I hadn’t been well for a while and had recently been diagnosed with vasculitis.

People with vasculitis have a significantly reduced life expectancy when compared to that of the average person. This diagnosis caused me to re-think every aspect of my life. It caused me to ask myself: Are you happy? The answer was no.

So then I started asking myself: What would make you happier? I had to look at everything: my health, my work, my relationships with others, my passions (including writing), my finances, my home life, my mental & emotional health.

It was a daunting task. Sometimes, it is easier to be stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling rut, rather than be brave and face the truth. Especially when facing and accepting where I was in my life involved acknowledging the unhappiness and beginning to make changes.

Change is always hard. Our brains like patterns of behaviour. They are key to our survival as a species, but not key to a healthier and happier life.

So I got counselling. I explored every aspect of my life. I started making changes: prioritising my health, changing jobs, working with others to improve relationships – resetting of expectations and putting in boundaries, getting back on the dating apps, working on a more balanced approach to pursuing my passions, reducing my financial outgoings were possible and trying harder to stick to a budget, getting rid of excess clutter at home and generally taking better care of my mental and emotional health.

None of it was easy. And I’m still not where I want to be. But I’m pleased to say my health has improved in some areas such as my diabetes management & mental health. I am also happier than I can ever remember being.

Write soon,

Antony

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My India Adventure (Part 8) – The Sun Tattoo, Goodbyes & The Journey Home

By Adventures, Happiness & Joy, Inspiration, Nature, Paganism, TravelNo Comments
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Sun Wall Plaque.

I’d been thinking about getting a tattoo for sometime. I just couldn’t decide what or where. I knew it would be a permanent feature on my body, so didn’t want rush into anything.

Earlier in the week Eddie and I had gone shopping (see My India Adventure (Part 3) – Shopping in Delhi) and I had bought this sun wall plaque (photo left) as a gift for someone. As the week went by, I decided I liked the plaque too much to give it away and decided to keep it.

Then an idea popped into my head: Why don’t I get a tattoo like the sun plaque? So on the afternoon of my last full day in Delhi, I had it done. Here’s some photos of me being tattooed:

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Me being Tattooed.

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The finished Sun Tattoo – it looks superb, I couldn’t be happier with it.

Eddie came with me to get the tattoo done. It’s three inches by three inches squared. It was done by a Tattoo Artist at the Tattoo Work Shop in Connaught Place, Delhi, India. The Tattoo Work Shop was clean (all needles were single use and in date) and they showed me a portfolio of tattoos they’d done before.

The sun for my symbolises many things. I am a sun-worshiper in every sense of the word. Literally, pagans worship the sun. Figuratively, the sun makes me feel alive and energised. My sun tattoo symbolises my adventure in India, as well as my upbeat personality with the happiness and joy I hope to bring into people’s lives.

Eddie suggested the location of the tattoo placement on my back. I left the tattoo parlour pleased with the tattoo and with no regrets about having it done. My only slight disappointment is that where I had sunburned skin the tattoo’s colour has faded a little as it’s healed. Still, I can have it touched up.

That evening Robert, Michael and I had a farewell meal with Neha’s family. I presented Neha’s parents with a gift of a sun-shaped wall mirror to thank them for having me to stay and for treating me so well. We had a lovely meal, said our goodbyes and then headed back to the guesthouse. The flight was an early one.

At the guest house, Eddie called me. He wanted to see me last time, before my departure. I explained that I hadn’t even packed yet and that he wouldn’t get much sleep. But he insisted and I’m so glad he did.

The next day, Eddie waved me off as I got into a car to the airport with Robert and Michael. Neha would be flying over to Robert the following week.

The British Airways flight was relaxed and easy. Once at Heathrow Airport, London, Robert, Michael and I said our goodbyes and headed off in our own directions all destined for our own homes.

The luggage collection and immigration passport controls hadn’t taken had long as I had expected. So it turned out that I would have a long wait for my pre-booked Megabus journey. Plus the Megabus would only get me into Manchester six minutes before the last train home, which was risking it. So at the airport I spent a bit of money and booked myself on an earlier National Express coach.

I set off on the London Underground to Victoria Coach Station. From there I caught the coach and arrived in Manchester over an hour earlier that I had originally expected to. I got an earlier train for the final leg of my journey, meaning that I got home an hour earlier. I was glad to be home, tired after a busy but exciting week and worn out by the journey.

But I’m already excited for my next trip to India.

This is the final part in my series of blog posts about my India Adventure. Here is a list of the other posts in chronological order: My India Adventure (Part 1) – The Journey, First Impressions of Delhi, The Guest House & The Family, My India Adventure (Part 2) – The Wedding, My India Adventure (Part 3) – Shopping in Delhi, My India Adventure (Part 4) – Delicious Food, My India Adventure (Part 5) – Gandhi’s Grave & India Gate & My India Adventure (Part 6) – The Taj Mahal

Blog soon,

Antony

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A List of Qualities in People that INSPIRE Me

By Inspiration, Life, ThinkingNo Comments

According to Google inspiration is defined as:

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Google’s Definition of Inspiration

Back in 2008, I wrote a blog post about People that inspire me. I could add so many people to that blog post.

But instead I decided to look at the qualities in people that inspire me. Here’s my list of qualities that those people display:

  • Accepting.
  • Authentic.
  • Balanced in their thinking.
  • Battle their inner demons.
  • Believe in fairness and equality.
  • Brings joy to others.
  • Can have a presence on entering a room or blend into the background in social situations.
  • Captivating Story Teller.
  • Careful in their actions.
  • Cares about others.
  • Comfortable with themselves.
  • Confident yet humble.
  • Connects emotionally with others.
  • Creative.
  • Describes their own thoughts & feelings through words well.
  • Determined.
  • Diplomatic.
  • Dislikes injustice.
  • Empathetic.
  • Enthusiastic.
  • Flawed.
  • Funny.
  • Generous.
  • Good communicator.
  • Has others following them.
  • Honesty.
  • Humorous.
  • Independent.
  • Influences others.
  • Intelligent.
  • Is a Collaborator.
  • Is a Doer.
  • Is a Dreamer.
  • Is Grateful.
  • Kindness.
  • Knows when, who and why to ask for help.
  • Makes others feel comfortable.
  • Makes others laugh.
  • Motivational.
  • Non-judgemental.
  • Occasional vulnerable.
  • One-step ahead of others.
  • Open minded.
  • Optimistic.
  • Passionate.
  • Patient.
  • Positive.
  • Relaxed in new situations.
  • Self-aware.
  • Sensitive.
  • Shares their Knowledge and wisdom.
  • Sincere.
  • Stands up for the rights of others.
  • Supports & helps others.
  • Unconventional.
  • Values community.
  • Vibrant.
  • Wants a better society for all.
  • Wants others to reach their potential.
  • Willing to fight for a cause.
  • Wise.
  • Works hard.

I’m sure there’s many other qualities that could be added to the list. I also know that as well as people, many other things inspire me. Things such as music, books, films, paintings, nature, animals and expressions of love to name but a few.

What qualities do you admire in the people that inspire you? Feel free to share by leaving a comment below.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Choices and Decisions

By Love & RelationshipsNo Comments
gay-love-large Some of you may question the choices I make and the decisions I take. I understand, so do I. But my choices and decisions are always made by following my heart and listening to my gut instinct.

I regret no choice or decision I’ve ever made. How can I? When all my heart wants is a life filled with joy, happiness and love. And my gut gives me instincts in the hope of keeping me safe.

After a lot of reflection, I recently posted the above as my status update on Facebook. Boyfriend-A and I have decided to end our relationship. I won’t go into the personal details here. But I wish Boyfriend-A well with whatever his future holds. I hope he finds happiness and love.

Take care and write soon,

Antony

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