I’ve had time to reflect on my recent health consultations (see The ENT Specialists) and I can honestly say that I’m feeling devastated.
I knew the hole in my septum had gotten bigger, but seeing the state of the inside of my nose on a monitor attached to a camera on a flexible cable really traumatised me. I have plenty of health-related worries right now including:
Do I have vasculitis and if so, what does this mean for me in the long term? Vasculitis is a very rare condition.
If its not vasculitis, then what is the cause of this extensive nasal destruction?
What will the biopsies show? Could it be Cancer?
They want to operate urgently in the next two weeks. What is going through the mind of my ENT Consultant?
What has caused a small hole in my septum to lead to complete septum destruction in around 4 months?
Will the pain ever be resolved? Or is this it now? Chronic long term pain.
Could other symptoms such as fatigue, a psoriasis-like rash on my elbows, difficulty standing for short periods, right hip/knee pain and difficulty sleeping through the night (insomnia) be related to my nasal passage problems?
How will they decide to fix the problem? Is it even fixable?
How will all this impact on the management of my type 1 diabetes?
What other autoimmune diseases does this increase my risk of getting?
How will any or all of the above affect my life expectancy?
What does all this mean for returning to work and life?
Will I ever feel normal again, or is this the new normal?
Why did nobody ever tell me to go and get my constant blocked nose checked out? Would it have made any difference?
Why didn’t I get any ENT experience as a Student Nurse or in A&E. This would have at least given me some clinical experience in the area?
Why did I decide that my constant blocked nose was because of developing an allergy to my two gorgeous cats?
Will I ever be able to smell normally again? At the moment, I can’t usually smell anything, unless I try and it is particularly strong. Sometimes, I smell what smells like rotting flesh.
Why is the waiting list so long to seen ENT? Ear, nose and throat systems are vital to health and wellbeing.
And more questions continue to fill my head on an hourly basis.
I have plenty of questions right now, but not a lot of answers. It’s the not knowing that causes the most anxiety.
