Last weekend a friend and I travelled to the edge of South Wales for a long weekend away. One day we went in search of pine trees in The Forest of Dean.
Imagine living with a secret that could get you killed. Imagine the lengths you would have to go to to keep this secret. Imagine growing up being told that people like you are unnatural and immoral. In these circumstances how would you cope? How would you protect your mental and emotional health?
What I’ve just described is the life of some gay men in some places. They aren’t able to choose who they love. They face being disowned by their family and friends, assaults, criminal prosecution and potentially even being sentenced to death. Just because of who they are and who they are attracted to/fall in love with.
In the UK, gay men have equal rights in law and attitudes are becoming more positive towards gay men. But this wasn’t always the case.
Just fifty years ago, being gay was illegal in the UK. Gay men weren’t out, they couldn’t marry their male partners, couldn’t adopt children as a gay couple and couldn’t give blood.
If fifty years ago a gay man had come out and told people of their sexuality they would face legal consequences (such as being locked up in a mental hospital or worse chemical castration). They would face being disowned by their community (if not driven out of it), become the repeated victim of crime, experience unsympathetic and homophobic Police, experience discrimination when buying goods or accessing services, be unable to get employment and many other negative consequences. All because they’d been honest about who they are and who they are romantically attracted to.
Given this history of prejudice and discrimination (both on individual and institutional levels), it’s not surprising that coming out is a big event for gay men. Gay men who do come out show emotional vulnerability, driven by a desire for loved ones to fully know them and a hope that they will accept them for who they are. It explains why some people gay men will never come out and take the secret of who they are to their grave.
It also explains why gay men often have mental health issues (including being at greater risk of suicide), low self-esteem, problems with addiction (self-medicating difficult emotions such as shame or fear) and generally worse health outcomes than heterosexual people. There’s a lot of shame, self-loathing and unhappiness in the gay community. It is currently getting better in the UK, with younger generations of gay men experiencing these issues to a lesser extent.
But around the world there are many places where it is extremely unsafe to be a gay man. Where gay men still have to hide who they are. I think it’s really sad that gay men have only got equal rights in some countries, but not others.
Here are some countries where it is unsafe to be a gay man and what the legal consequences could be for coming out. An out gay man in any of these countries would likely experience the same prejudice and discrimination that an out gay man would have experienced in the UK fifty years ago. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Just some of the main countries I found out about whilst doing research for this blog post.
Country
Legal Consequences
Egypt
Up to 17 years in prison, with or without hard labour.
Morocco
Up to 6 years in prison, with hard labour.
Tunisia
3 years in prison.
Ghana
3 years in prison.
Nigeria
Up to 14 years in prison. They have the death penalty in some parts, but it is apparently not used.
Kenya
Up to 14 years in prison.
Saudi Arabia
Very barbaric. Death penalty, or prison. Fines and floggings.
United Arab Emirates
Prison time. Minimum 6 months, but no upper maximum amount of time (up to the Courts).
Bangladesh
10 years to life prison sentence.
Maldives
Up to 8 years in prison.
Pakistan
2 years to life in prison.
Sri Lanka
Up to 10 years in prison, plus fines.
Malaysia
20 years in prison.
What struck me after I compiled the list above, is that for some people, their holiday destination might be listed. I wonder if the people going on holiday to these places realise how they treat gay men there? Just a thought.
If you enjoyed this blog post, you might enjoy my Influential UK Gay Men article which is available as a free download here.
The world is a scary place right now. I can honestly say that I’ve never lived through a time where humanity faces such huge challenges.
Here are 7 reasons why the world is such a frightening place at this moment:
Increasing Inequality & The Cost of Living Crisis I’ve written before about the ever increasing gap between the richest and the poorest in society (see Inequality: Making Society as a Whole Poorer). Any capitalist society seems to be destined to end up were the rich get everything – all the money, resources, property, all the assets.
To add to increasing inequality, The Cost of Living Crisis has also come along and shows no signs of ever leaving. These are both driven by that human quality: Greed. It seems for some people, enough is never enough.
Increased Control By The Powerful It’s happening everywhere. The powerful, who rather uncoincidentally are also the extremely wealthy, are using technology to gain more control over others. This includes big multinational companies, Governments and other institutions/organisations. It feels like basic freedoms are being eroded and I think that once they’re gone, we’ll never get them back. These controls are also likely to be abused or misused by the powerful.
Depleted Resources The world is running out of resources. Things like food, water, housing and fuel are becoming depleted. There’s absolutely no way that these resources will stretch to provide for the whole ever-growing global population.
This means that in the near future (perhaps a few years from now) there will be less available resources and many more people requiring them. If we look back at human history, in times like these conflicts arise between peoples and a lot of death follows as people fight for scarce resources.
Global Warming Global Warming could add to humanity’s problems, by raising sea levels and putting more land under water. This would impact coastal nations initially, but eventually impact everyone. More land would be under the sea, depleting land mass and the resources we get from the land.
AI AI (Artificial Intelligence) will continue to develop until it potentially becomes sentient, smarter and more efficient than any human. This will fundamentally change life for all. There could be some benefits, but there most certainly will be drawbacks.
In economic terms, why pay a person for their work when AI can do it quicker and better than a human? What will humans do to earn money in a capitalist society when AI-powered robots replace them?
Mass Immigration Mass immigration could occur for a number of different reasons in the near future. Whilst not all immigration is bad, mass immigration – the movement of millions or hundreds of millions of people in a short space of time (say just a few years) would be a massive challenge for wherever they migrated to.
Aggression We have already witnessed Russian aggression towards Ukraine. Aggression could happen in pockets arounds the world, or there could be a global conflict. The causes of such aggression and conflict could be one of the issues above or something else entirely. But aggression leads to war, death and humans exploiting other humans. It is never good.
We also carry the risk of destroying ourselves and parts of the planet through use of nuclear weapons. However, most experts think that this is unlikely to happen, as if you nuke a place it makes it unlivable and contaminates available resources.
Rather worryingly, all of these issues are global and affect everyone. They’re also complex, meaning that there aren’t any easy answers to these challenges. If we want to survive and thrive as a species, humanity must learn to overcome its differences and work together. We will need our brightest minds to work on and solve these problems. As the problems are global, so must the solutions be, with worldwide buy in by everyone.
When I were younger, I would have ended this blog post on a positive note, by writing about hope. But at thirty-nine years old the challenges seem insurmountable. Especially for a species that is divided in so many different ways.
Anxiety is typically described as a feeling of apprehension or dread in situations where there is no actual real threat and is disproportionate to the situation faced. Unlike stress, anxiety persists even after a concern has passed. In some cases, anxiety can escalate into an anxiety disorder and can affect day-to-day life.
Recently I’ve been experiencing episodes of anxiety. Here is a list of physical symptoms of anxiety:
Not Experienced (Yet) Palpitations Panic Attacks Shortness of Breath / Hyperventilating Restlessness Difficulty Performing Everyday Tasks Dry Mouth Teeth Grinding
Anxiety can affect anyone and can be quite debilitating. It usually has a trigger. In my case there has been several concurrent triggers. You can get diagnosed with anxiety and treated for it.
Treatment for anxiety can include medication and/or counselling therapies.
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