I was speaking with a good friend recently about that wonderful emotion Joy. I thought we all knew what joy was, how it feels and what would bring us more joy in our lives, but I was wrong. So let’s go over it.
For me what distinguishes joy from happiness, is its spontaneity. You never know when it is going to come along, but when it does, you instantly recognise it for what it is.
Joy can come in the most mundane experiences, or it can appear in new and exciting experiences.
Joy only appears when you are enjoying yourself and the feeling is impossible to force. It either comes or it doesn’t. You either feel it or you don’t. You can create the perfect circumstances for joy to occur and it doesn’t show up. You can recreate experiences that have previously experienced joy in and nothing.
But when it does show up – oh boy – it is so much more than happiness. It is elation. It is smiling from ear to ear. It is a high of endorphins, better than any rush you’d get from drugs. It fills your heart, your head, your entire body with excitement, pleasure and a desire to keep doing what you’re doing. It feels incredible.
I love joy. How could anyone not? And while we can’t guarantee that joy will show up, we can do things to make it more likely to happen. These include:
Connect with people that make us smile, laugh and offer us unconditional love and acceptance.
Pursue activities that bring us pleasure, particularly exercise, sports and creative endevours.
Spend time in places of natural beauty.
Step out of our comfort zones to experience new things, including new activities and new places.
Breaking routines, so that our brains experience novelty and learning, which are both key to new brain cell growth.
Starting any activity with a kind, positive and enjoyment mindset.
What struck me, talking with my friend, was that we can get too bogged down with the day-to-day life challenges, that we completely forget that joy exists. We forget it exists and therefore forget to go off in search of joy.
So here’s a gentle reminder, to anyone out there who needs it: Look out for joy each day. And try to create opportunities for joy to show up for you.
If you know anything about me, you’ll know that I’m an Author of four books:
There’s lots of metaphors about writing a book. They are in the main negative, describing it in ways such as it’s like pulling teeth. But that isn’t my experience. I love the whole process of writing a book, from the initial concept, to developing and fleshing out the idea, to the process of writing and editing it. Then finally sharing it with the world when I publish it internationally on Amazon, in as many formats as possible.
I am proud of each and every book that I’ve published, four in total so far. Each time I feel that it is the best work I have done to date and have no idea how I’m going to top it in the next book. But I always do.
Each of my books is unique and takes me on a wonderful journey of learning and growth. I liken it to being like what I imagine bringing a new born baby into the world is like. This sometimes makes them harder to sell, as they are all so different.
But sales is never the aim of producing these creative works. Maybe it should be? Maybe it shouldn’t? Whose to say? Right now, as long as I’m happy with the finished product, that’s good enough for me.
It will come as no surprise to you that I’m already working on my next book. Hopefully due out later this year (2024). Here’s a very early draft (subject to change in the editing process) of a small section I’ve just finished writing today:
It’s the first time I’ve ever shared some of my work this early in the creative process.
So what can I tell you about this mysterious 5th book I’m working on?
Well it has a title and a finalised book cover.
As you’ve probably guessed from the sample section above, it’s a book about the human body.
It’s going to be aimed at Healthcare Professionals and anyone who wants to know more about the body.
In this book I’m experimenting with using humour to bring the topic to life. Humorous writing is much more difficult than it sounds.
I’ve also bought some Illustrations and a Commercial Licence for these from a rather brilliant Illustrator.
I don’t want to share any more than that right now. But I hope that’s peaked your interest in learning more about book number 5. More updates and information to follow soon.
At the start of 2016, I had all my creative projects for the year planned out. So far I’ve done zero of those planned projects. But instead I’ve done 11 Creative Projects that I never intended to do this year. Here they are in date order (older to most recent):
11. My short story Soulmates
I published my short story Soulmates. In Soulmates Robert and Lucas keep missing each other. In fact, they’ve never met. That is until a disembodied spirit assigns himself Robert’s case. Can this spirit create the perfect opportunity for these two potential Soulmates to finally meet? And if they do meet, how will it go?
10. My Tale of Overcoming Adversity
I told my tale of overcoming adversity. This was a post I’d wanted to write for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean at least over the last few years.
3. Fifteen Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe
I thought about when my depression was really bad. I decided to write this blog post: 15 Lies That Depression Would Have You Believe. Here’s the blog post:
Here are 15 lies that depression would have you believe:
15. That it is bigger than you.
It’s not. It just makes you think this so that it can keep in control of you.
14. That it would be better if you never left your bed/room/house again.
It wouldn’t. You have so much to offer the world and you would miss out on so much if you never moved again. On days you feel like this practice self-compassion. Be kind but firm with yourself. Set yourself a small achievable goal. Force yourself into action to achieve this goal. Achieving a goal, no matter how small the goal is, will help you to feel better.
13. That you’re a failure.
Firstly you can’t be a failure. Failure only comes by attempting to do or achieve things. Failure is no bad thing – you learn more through failure than you do success. Don’t believe me? watch this TED video where J.K. Rowling talks about the benefits of failure.
Depression likes to magnify experiences in your mind. It focuses on only the negative aspects of an experience. Most experiences are a mix of positives and negatives. Try to put experiences into perspective. Examine the positives. Try to practice balanced thinking and self-compassion.
12. That you’ll never laugh again.
You will and often. People can and do recover from depression. Feeling okay doesn’t mean that you’re in recovery, starting to feel good again does. If you’re just feeling okay, go back and see your GP.
In recovery you will start to experience a number of long lost emotions such as happiness, joy and elation. When you do, greet them as old friends and experience them fully.
11. That being physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted is a normal state of being.
It isn’t. You might be sleeping for 18 hours and wake up still exhausted or you might be suffering with insomnia. But people usually have a stable amount of energy throughout the day and should sleep for a recommended 8 hours.
Depression is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting, but if you go to your GP and get the right treatment (see my blog post on treatment options for more details) things will improve.
10. That you’re pathetic. That you have no right to feel the way you do. That you are a disappointment to all that know you.
Shame and guilt are two emotions that depression uses to try and control you. Let go of any shame and guilt you feel. Accept how you feel now and know that it is temporary, almost fleeting compared with you life. Be confident knowing that how you feel now will change with the passage of time.
9. That the physical, mental and emotional pain you feel is all that there is.
There’s more to life pain. There’s care, love, happiness, joy and so much more. Just hold on. You have experienced the more-than-pain emotions before and you will again.
8. That you can’t do anything right or well enough.
My mum has lots of wisdom. She once said that all anyone can ask is that you try your best. Remember these words.
Remember that depression likes to magnify failures and things that didn’t go as well as you hoped. On days when you feel like this, practice self-compassion, use balanced thinking and try to put things into perspective. What where your intentions? Did you kill anybody? No? Well then, it’s not the end of the world.
7. That you are worthless.
You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly the same as you and there never will be. You are priceless and beyond value measures. Don’t listen to this lie, instead remind yourself that you are special and remind yourself what makes you, you.
6. That you’re going mad, mental or loosing your mind.
No you’re not. Your brain is just overwhelmed with cortisol – the stress hormone at the moment. Take a break and stop doing anything that you don’t need to. Practice relaxation techniques and be kind to yourself.
Remember that among the great and the good are people who’ve experienced depression. Even at the height of their success.
5. That everything is too much effort. That just getting up and out of bed is too exhausting.
Set yourself a small goal each day and try your best to achieve it. The goal might be as tiny as having a bath, calling someone for a quick chat, changing your bedding or going for a short walk.
Despite how you feel, get yourself to your GP and get treatment. If this seems too ginormous of a task, break it up into smaller steps. Ask family members or friends to help you to do this.
4. That your soul or higher self is being destroyed.
Your soul or higher self has survived several lifetimes and the accompanying reincarnation processes. It can and will survive depression. Depression is tiny and insignificant in comparison to the challenges your soul or higher self has already experienced.
3. That everything is hopeless.
You may feel this way, but it is not and will never be hopeless. According to The Royal College of Psychiatrists people can and do fully recover from depression.
2. That life isn’t worth living.
Here’s a plea from the heart: darling you might feel this way now, but how you feel will change. If you are feeling suicidal please visit your nearest A&E Department for crisis support.
1. That you’ll never be happy again.
You will. It will just take the right treatment and time.
1. The difference between a House and a Home
Home has always been really important to me. But I noticed that people tend to use the word house and home interchangeably. So I wrote a blog post about The difference between a House and a Home.
My creative output has dramatically increased. Which is brilliant, especially considering how exceptionally busy 2016 has turned out to be so far. I’m already working on the next creative project, which I hope to share with you soon.
Here’s some hopefully inspirational quotes from yours truly:
Some Hopefully Inspirational Quotes from Yours Truly (Antony Simpson)
And here’s a lovely quote to finish this blog post series on:
“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” – William Shakespeare
Blog soon,
Antony
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Friday 8 April 2016
About
Antony Simpson - Author, Blogger, Nurse & Witch.
Author of eight books.
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