I’ve really struggled with my mental health in the last few days. The days and evenings have all been tough. So here’s a video and photo update from Nick, Dylan & Russell, my Bengal cats:
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Nick says Hello, with the cutest meow ever. Video taken a couple of months ago.
A photo of each of them, taken yesterday:
Nick, my black Bengal kitten, he wouldn’t take his eyes off me, I think I was being stalked :P.
Dylan always seems grumpy, well when one looks at his face anyway. He looks like an eternal pessimist.
Russell with the big eyes. He knows how to use those eyes to make all that see him give him attention and fall in love with him.
Despite what people say about cats being independent and not really caring about their owners, apart from for food; my cats have been a great comfort to me. Indeed Dylan, the grumpiest looking one of the bunch seems to be able to sense I’m struggling. He comes over to check on me and rubs up against me. Not his usual behaviour. I think it’s his version of a hug and saying he cares.
Dare To Lead is about leadership that is vulnerable, values-based, trusting and resilient. The book is split into four parts.
The first and biggest part is Rumbling with Vulnerability. In this section Brown discusses what vulnerability is, why it is important, myths about vulnerability, using courage to drop our armor as leaders, dealing with shame and empathy and curiosity grounded in confidence.
The second part is Living Into Our Values. Values are very important to me, so unsurprisingly this was my favorite part of the book. This section covers what our own values are, what organisational values can be and how to turn values into measurable
behaviours. The List of Values activity I completed with some of my colleagues at work and I found it an incredibly useful in terms of learning more about them and what they value. Since I have also contributed to a consultation at work around our organisational values.
The third part of the book is Braving Trust. This section of the book is all about building trust as a leader and recognising how trust is built up gradually over time and can be easily lost.
The fourth part of the book is Learning to Rise which is all about resilience. This part of the book is about recognising emotion within ourselves and others as a leader, being curious about emotions and being self-aware enough to recognise what is going on emotionally for ourselves and others.
Throughout Dare To Lead are many helpful strategies that if implemented would make you a better leader. Including strategies around: having difficult conversations, increasing self-awareness, being aware of the values of ourselves and of the people we lead, being aware of the stories we tell ourselves (that may or may not be true), how to build trust and courage in the people that you lead.
Dare To Lead is written in a way that feels like you’re having a conversation with Brown. She gives examples from her own experience and also asks open questions styled in a coaching method to encourage the reader to think about how these experiences relate to their own life.
About Brené Brown
Brené Brown is a Research Professor at the University of Huston, is a Social Worker and delivers talks and training on leadership around innovation, creativity and change. Brown has worked with Pixar (Disney) and Facebook around leadership. You can learn more about Brené Brown on her website here.
Madonna recently performed at the Eurovision Song Contest. Here’s a video of her performance:
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Edit: 20/05/19, 08:45 – I had to change the video as the user had removed the original. There was a Vevo video, uploaded to Madonna’s official YouTube channel however it appeared to have been altered to make her performance sound better than it was during the original broadcast. So I went for this video that is more reflective of the original performance.
Madonna has had criticism since, with many calling it a disastrous and possibly career ending performance. People have described her voice as flat or off key, her outfit and the Christian heavy iconography controversial and unappealing.
I must admit that cringed watching it. But I realised something from it: We’re all human. Even Madonna.
We’ve all had times when things have gone disastrously wrong for us. I don’t know much about Madonna to be honest, but I once did see an interview where she described herself as a perfectionist. So I imagine that Madonna is currently in a mental state of self-denial, or one of rumination with her critical inner voice in over drive.
So here’s some mental health advice to Madonna, from my book Mental Health Wisdom:
Rumination is thinking the same thoughts or replaying memories again, again and again in your mind. Nothing good ever comes from it. It’s like having a song that you hate on full ear-bleeding volume and stuck on repeat. Rumination makes you feel like you are losing your mind.
When it comes to replaying memories, they are usually memories that are emotionally traumatic. Our memory of events is never accurate and always has a negative bias. What you need to remember if you find yourself ruminating is that the event has happened. It’s in the past. It’s gone. You can’t change what’s happened, no matter how many times you replay the video. It’s time to accept what’s happened, how it made you feel, so that you can let it go and move on.
Rumination is a waste of time, energy and effort. Rumination and the Critical Inner Voice go together. The critical inner voice is that voice inside your head that says things like:
You’re not good enough.
You don’t know what you’re doing.
Just who do you think you are?
You’re worthless.
You screw everything up. You are a screw up.
Nobody cares about you.
The critical inner voice is abusive and says things that we wouldn’t dream of saying to our worst enemy. It never says anything useful, nice, good or kind. It tends to get louder and louder if we allow it to. Managing the critical inner voice starts with the choice not to put up with the things it says to you.
I manage my critical inner voice in two main ways. First by imagining a volume control knob. I imagine it being turned down and hear the voice go quieter and quieter until it is silent. Second, I repeat positive affirmations that I know are true. I say things to myself like:
I am good at my job. I have a lot of specialist knowledge and thirteen years of clinical experience.
I offer a lot to people around me, including humour, compassion and kindness.
People value my opinion. I know this because I am often asked for it by others.
I am doing the best that I can and learn every day.
Having difficulty coming up with positive affirmations about yourself that are true? Ask people who are close to you: What is positive about me? What do you like about me? Others often see things that we don’t spot in ourselves.
This week I have had a brilliant time celebrating my 33rd Birthday. I’ve seen my brother Shaun for coffee, had tea out with mum and papa, seen Jayne for coffee and cake, spent a wonderful day at Mother Shipton’s Cave and in Knaresborough with Simon and am seeing Kay tomorrow. I received some lovely cards and great gifts. The most brilliant thing has been catching up with people.
But a highlight has to be visiting Mother Shipton’s Cave. Here are some photos from the cave visit:
Simon and I, the famous Petrifying Well behind us.
This is Beech Ave. It has some of the oldest beech trees in Britain.
The stream that leads down to the Petrifying Well.
The top of the Petrifying Well.
The Petrifying Well. Normally the rock above would have worn away due to erosion, but because of the unique properties of the water, that turns things to stone, a layer of stone has built up and protected the rock underneath.
A side view of the Petrifying Well (1).
A side view of the Petrifying Well (2).
Ivy at the side of the well has began to crystalise from the water splash back from the Petrifying Well.
The entrance to Mother Shipton’s Cave.
A rock carving impression of Mother Shipton within her cave.
The naturally formed Wishing Well (1). Simon and I both made a wish.
The naturally formed Wishing Well (2).
A sculpture of Mother Shipton in the small museum/gift shop.
Just a silly photo of me.
A video I took at the Petrifying Well:
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Essential Info
Mother Shipton’s Cave includes: some of the oldest beech trees in Britain, a cave where Mother Shipton (a Witch in the 17th Century) was said to have lived. A Petrifying Well that turns things into stone (due to the unique make up of the water), a naturally formed wishing well, a park for children (with picnic benches) and a small shop/museum. It is located in Knaresborough, North Yorkshire, England. This attraction could be fully completed in about an hour.
Admission Price: £9-10 for an adult. This is on the expensive side for what is on offer, however it does include an all day come and go wristband. This means that you could leave the attraction to go into the market town of Knaresborough.
Useful to know: Wednesday’s are market day in Knaresborough, so worth visiting on a Wednesday if you can. That way you can do the cave, markets and get something to eat in the many pubs/restaurants in the town.
I’ve had a fantastic birthday, but the week of annual leave that I’ve taken for my birthday has gone far too quickly as always.
Are you a Doctor, Nurse, Healthcare Assistant or Other Healthcare Professional? Or a Student?
Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong covers every system of the body, what can go wrong when the body malfunctions or fails, symptoms (including why these happen) and cures/treatments available.
It includes knowledge around essential skills for Clinical Excellence such as Assessment, All Age Observational Norms, Models of Care, Communication/Handover Tips, the role of Specialities, Medication Tips, Dealing with Errors, Documentation Advice and a list of Useful Resources.
It is written in plain English, but highlights important medical terminology. It has been written at a level where someone from a non-medical background can pick it up and learn, but that it is still valuable to those with significant Clinical Experience.
My dear friend Roy decided to follow in his family’s footsteps and enlist in the Royal Navy.
I wanted to maintain our friendship, to continue to support Roy, to make him laugh and to entertain him. So I came up with the idea of sending him a weekly email on random topics.
These emails were on a variety of topics, always being entertaining, sometimes being interesting, sometimes funny and occasionally being serious.
Topics included: Jokes, Puzzles, Inspirational Quotes, Future Technology to Be Excited About, How to Fight A Shark, How to Woo A Turtle, Some of the Most Amazing Jobs in the World, Facts About Castles, Do Aliens Exist?, The Kindest Humans, A List of Cakes, 13 Weird Body Facts, 20 Super Space Facts, Ancient Egyptian Curses, 10 Weird Olympic Games, The Great Emu War of 1932, Quiz: Flags of the World, Legendary Characters from the UK and others.
My Royal Navy Friend is a copy of these emails. In total, there are 52 emails. Dispersed throughout the book are also Royal Navy facts and stories.
This workbook has been designed for anyone that is struggling with alcohol or has struggled with alcohol in the past.
It is written in a Motivational Interviewing style, one of the key therapies used to support people with alcohol issues. It has been designed using a trauma-informed approach and is strength–based.
What you will find in this book is more than just worksheets about alcohol. You’ll find all the tools someone needs to get into recovery from alcohol and stay there. It’s a therapy-based book, not an alcohol-based book.
SpellCast is a comprehensive compendium of spells, oils, charms and talismans. It is purely a book about magic, folk magic for the 21st century. The spells are ones that are tried and tested, with some that will stand the test of time.
In SpellCast you will read about the power of Instant Magic, of Banishment & Bindings, Blessings, Cleansing, Communication, Death, Employment, Finance & Money, Fertility, Friendship, Happiness & Joy, Health, Love & Relationships, Luck Magic, Protection, Transformative Magic and WishCraft.
This book will change your life. Your life will be abundant in all meanings of the word.
This book contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness. Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
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