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What are some of the most difficult questions in life?

By Life, ThinkingNo Comments

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Here are some of the most difficult questions in life, along with my current partial answers to them. None of these complex questions have simple answers. If you have a better answer than the one I have, or would like to share your answer to these questions, please leave a comment below.

Who am I?

Who I am is fluid rather than fixed and changes constantly. It encompasses my thoughts, feelings, intentions, actions, omissions, behaviours and my soul. Who I am changes as quickly as each encompassed element can change.

What is consciousness?

Consciousness is a result of billions of neurons in the brain firing electrical signals to other neurons. Our body allows us to sense the world (through taste, sight, touch, smell, sound and psychic intuition) and then create thoughts and feelings based on the now, memory and past experiences, dreams and hopes for the future.

What’s the meaning of life?

I have no idea what the meaning of life is. But I’ve got a feeling that it’s different for every life. I do know that you should decide on the purpose or ideally purposes of your life.

Purposes may include: dedication to family/friends, goals/achievements of your own, contribution to the wellbeing of others, learning/studying/growth, to create or destroy, to consume and enjoy, to travel, to adventure and experience, to improve humanity, to love, the list goes on and on.

Where does creativity come from?

Perhaps the question should read: what inspires creativity? A large number of things can inspire creativity, including: nature, research, other people’s creative works (art, music, literature, sculpture, etc.), curiosity, questions, past experiences, daily life, failures, logic/illogic, other people’s ideas, emotions, procrastination, through play, again the list goes on and on.

Does God exist?

Pagans are polytheistic, meaning that they worship many Gods and Goddesses. I personally believe that these Gods and Goddesses represent humanistic aspects of a Divine Energy.

This Divine Energy is infinitely complex and incomprehensible by the limited human mind. This Divine Energy is within everything that ever was, is and will ever be. It is timeless, interconnects everything and keeps the universe in balance through constant creation, change and destruction.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

We all have a sense of fair play. When we see bad things happen to good people, we notice it as it feels unfair. We notice it more because the person is a good person. But life events are simply what they are.

Sometimes bad things appear at random and sometimes they are methodological. They can be difficult to accept and it is normal to feel a sense of injustice and unfairness.

Reframing your thoughts to acknowledge that bad things happen regardless of whether a person is good or not is a way to balance your thinking. It is also useful in breaking the association between behaviours (being a good person) and negative life events (the bad things).

What happens after we die?

The cells, tissues and organs in your body die (necrosis). Your body decays until the point that only your skeleton is left (skeletonisation).

But when most people ask this question, they are referring to what happens to the soul after death. Well most believe in heaven or an afterlife of some sort. Others believe in reincarnation (being reborn as another person, animal or plant).

I personally believe in both an afterlife and reincarnation. I think that your soul is energy and is released from your body on your death. It travels to another plane of existence (the astral plane).

The astral plane is like an afterlife but not like a traditional version of heaven. You are reunited with other souls that you have known (possibly over several lifetimes and the times in-between). You have the choice of if and when (although there is no concept of time in this place) you want to be reincarnated.

The purpose of being reincarnated is so that you can grow as a soul, but also so you can do some of the things that only physical entities can do (such as enjoy food, music, dance, sex).

What is love?

Poets, Writers, Musicians and Artists have all been exploring what love is and how it is expressed since humans were first able to feel and think. I think any type of love starts with vulnerability, connection and intimacy. From there it grows into trust, warmth and attachment.

For me there are different types of love:

  • Love shared with friends. Familiarity, shared interests, shared values and loyalty.
  • Love shared with family. Familiarity, growing together, mutual respect and unconditional acceptance.
  • Love shared with a lover. Romance, possibility, comfort, sensuality and sex. (I should note here that I am single.)
  • Unexpressed love. Fantasy, a crush, desire and longing.

Have I met Mr/Mrs Right?

How the heck should I know? But I would ask yourself: Does he/she make you laugh? Can you tell them anything? Does he/she build you up and support you? Does he/she add something to your life? Does he/she have their own life, with their own friends, dreams and ambitions? What do your friends and family honestly think about them and you as a couple?

Hopefully answering these questions will give you more insight.

Can love last a lifetime?

Yes. As long as both partners continue to grow independently as well as growing together. And as long as they continue to love one another. I believe love can last, not just a lifetime, but into the afterlife and beyond.

Write soon,

Antony

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Review: A Marvellous Massage by a Masseur found using GuysWay

By Gay, Happiness & Joy, Health, ReviewsNo Comments
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GuysWay – The Ultimate Male Masseur Directory in the UK

Being a Reviewer has its perks. Like being offered the opportunity to review the experience of finding a Masseur on GuysWay and having a massage. Naturally, I jumped at the chance.

Within two clicks on GuysWay I had found a professional, gay-friendly massage therapist local to where I live. It couldn’t have been easier.

On GuysWay my first click was to select my geographical area, which resulted in a list of local Masseurs. The second click to select a profile of a Masseur that took my fancy. I had the option to make a quick phone call, text or email to book.

I booked with a gorgeous Moroccan named Saeed via email. As well as having a profile on GuysWay he has his own website where he offers his massage services. Saeed happens to be the Owner of GuyWay. On my arrival at his house, I felt instantly at ease with Saeed. We spoke a little about GuysWay.

Saeed was quick to reassure me that the order Masseurs are displayed on local listing pages are always random, meaning that no Masseur gets preference over another. He explained that he had set up GuysWay because he had seen a gap in the market. There were directories that were slightly sleazy and seedy offering additional services to massage, but no gay-friendly Professional Masseur Directories out there. I had to agree with this, prior to GuysWay, I had always found it difficult to find a good Masseur.

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Saeed’s Massage Room

Saeed led me upstairs to his massage room. The room had an air of comfort to it. Candles, low-lighting and background music created a calming atmosphere. I undressed, leaving my underwear on to maintain my modesty and climbed on to the message table. I had opted for a deep tissue massage.

Saeed started on my shoulders, working his way down my body using massage oil liberally. His hands were like magic. They were warm, muscular, applied the perfect amount of pressure and moved in rhythm with the music. The feel on skin-on-skin contact was stimulating, sensual and very relaxing. I found myself being transformed into a blissfully calm and carefree state. Throughout the massage, I had the option to talk or just lie there and enjoy.

The message was just what I needed. It left me feeling both relaxed and energised. It was fantastic and left me wanting to take Saeed’s hands home with me.

Afterwards I thought about the experience. I decided that massage is essential for everyone’s wellbeing. Massage has so many benefits. For me this massage helped to reduce my stress levels, enabled me to unwind and get a goodnight of restful sleep.

I’ll definitely be booking another delightful and marvellous massage with Saeed in the future. Hopefully making massages with Saeed a regular thing.

Review soon,

Antony

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Finally…in Recovery and getting Back to Life

By Health, Life, ThinkingNo Comments
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Me Drinking Coffee. Slowly Getting Back to Life 🙂

In January, everything stopped. I stopped being able to function and was ill. The truth is that I had been ill for a long time before this, but that I had continued to solider on – hoping that I would start to feel better.

Here were some of my symptoms:
Tick Box Bullet Point No concentration span. I wasn’t able to watch TV or films, read or write. I didn’t feel safe to drive, so I didn’t.
Tick Box Bullet Point Short term memory loss.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling constantly exhausted despite sleeping for many, many hours.
Tick Box Bullet Point Some insomnia and night terrors.
Tick Box Bullet Point Back pain – despite resting and regularly completing physiotherapy exercises.
Tick Box Bullet Point Head aches.
Tick Box Bullet Point Stomach ache/constipation despite eating a reasonably good diet.
Tick Box Bullet Point Poor personal hygiene and not cleaning my home environment.
Tick Box Bullet Point Overeating or forcing myself to eat despite feeling that I didn’t want to.

Tick Box Bullet Point No motivation – I found it extremely difficult and tiring to do the smallest of tasks.
Tick Box Bullet Point Reckless spending of money – mostly through online shopping.
Tick Box Bullet Point Any extremely variable mood which changed throughout the day and night. From being void of any feelings to a tornado of fast swirling feelings including: guilt, inadequacy and feeling like a failure.
Tick Box Bullet Point Anxiety – resulting in becoming antisocial and finding it difficult to leave home.
Tick Box Bullet Point Worry and panic about what people would think of me.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling hopeless, which is the worst feeling in the world.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling like I was loosing my mind.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling like I was falling down a dark bottomless pit.
Tick Box Bullet Point Feeling frustrated at not being able to snap out of it and that nothing I did made a difference to how I felt or my ability to function.
Tick Box Bullet Point Overly self-critical thoughts and zero self esteem. A critical inner voice that was loud and repetitive.
Tick Box Bullet Point At two particularly bad points I suffered from compulsions to end my life.
Tick Box Bullet Point In short, feeling like my mind, body and soul were being devoured and destroyed by this illness.

So I went to see my GP who completed the PHQ depression test and diagnosed me with severe clinical depression. At several points throughout my treatment, this test was repeated to check on my progress. At one point, I was scoring 24 out of a possible 27. My GP started me on antidepressants and encouraged me to self-refer for counselling.

The first antidepressant didn’t work, despite gradually increasing the dose to the maximum. Apparently this is really common, happening to at least 50% of people. So my GP gradually withdrew the first antidepressant and then started me on another – which thankfully is working. I self-referred to counselling, had an assessment and to this date am still on the waiting list.

January to May has felt like a write-off in every sense of the word. But I feel extremely lucky to have made it through this dark and difficult time. What’s that phrase? Ah yes…I believe I made it through by the skin on my teeth.

Looking back, I’ve had depressive tendencies for at least the last few years. I’ve been rubbish at spotting the symptoms in myself, but am much more aware of signs, symptoms and triggers now.

I’m still in recovery and it is a gradual process. I’m still on the antidepressants and will be for sometime. I’ve started taking multivitamins to make sure my body and mind is getting what it needs. But now I’m feeling good, better than I have felt in years. I’ve even started laughing again, proper belly laughs, which I haven’t done for what feels like forever.

Now I’m getting back to life. I’ve thanked those close to me for their support, love, care and kindness. I’ve gone back to work and realised that I have the most brilliant, amazing and fantastic work colleagues. They’ve been so supportive and I feel so lucky to work with such wonderful people.

Blog soon,

Antony

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My Minds Willing

By Friends & Family, HealthNo Comments

Dear Family, Friends & People in General,

Thank you for all your invitations. To birthday celebrations, weddings, or for a brew and a chin wag. I love spending time with you all. My mind (and mouth) is always willing to attend a social occasion, but please don’t judge me too hard if sometimes I politely decline.

It’s my body you see. With my diabetes it gets tired. Someday’s I wake up and I feel like I’ve not slept for days. Then I’ve got to do my day, which sometimes leaves me exhausted. So please don’t make me feel guilty for the limitations of my body.

I want to see you and spend time with you, after all I care for you a great deal. I enjoy your company. But I have to accept what my body needs and sometimes that’s sleep.

So if I do decline a social invitation please consider the limitations of my body and don’t make me feel guilty.

My Love,

Antony

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