Madonna recently performed at the Eurovision Song Contest. Here’s a video of her performance:
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Edit: 20/05/19, 08:45 – I had to change the video as the user had removed the original. There was a Vevo video, uploaded to Madonna’s official YouTube channel however it appeared to have been altered to make her performance sound better than it was during the original broadcast. So I went for this video that is more reflective of the original performance.
Madonna has had criticism since, with many calling it a disastrous and possibly career ending performance. People have described her voice as flat or off key, her outfit and the Christian heavy iconography controversial and unappealing.
I must admit that cringed watching it. But I realised something from it: We’re all human. Even Madonna.
We’ve all had times when things have gone disastrously wrong for us. I don’t know much about Madonna to be honest, but I once did see an interview where she described herself as a perfectionist. So I imagine that Madonna is currently in a mental state of self-denial, or one of rumination with her critical inner voice in over drive.
So here’s some mental health advice to Madonna, from my book Mental Health Wisdom:
Rumination is thinking the same thoughts or replaying memories again, again and again in your mind. Nothing good ever comes from it. It’s like having a song that you hate on full ear-bleeding volume and stuck on repeat. Rumination makes you feel like you are losing your mind.
When it comes to replaying memories, they are usually memories that are emotionally traumatic. Our memory of events is never accurate and always has a negative bias. What you need to remember if you find yourself ruminating is that the event has happened. It’s in the past. It’s gone. You can’t change what’s happened, no matter how many times you replay the video. It’s time to accept what’s happened, how it made you feel, so that you can let it go and move on.
Rumination is a waste of time, energy and effort. Rumination and the Critical Inner Voice go together. The critical inner voice is that voice inside your head that says things like:
You’re not good enough.
You don’t know what you’re doing.
Just who do you think you are?
You’re worthless.
You screw everything up. You are a screw up.
Nobody cares about you.
The critical inner voice is abusive and says things that we wouldn’t dream of saying to our worst enemy. It never says anything useful, nice, good or kind. It tends to get louder and louder if we allow it to. Managing the critical inner voice starts with the choice not to put up with the things it says to you.
I manage my critical inner voice in two main ways. First by imagining a volume control knob. I imagine it being turned down and hear the voice go quieter and quieter until it is silent. Second, I repeat positive affirmations that I know are true. I say things to myself like:
I am good at my job. I have a lot of specialist knowledge and thirteen years of clinical experience.
I offer a lot to people around me, including humour, compassion and kindness.
People value my opinion. I know this because I am often asked for it by others.
I am doing the best that I can and learn every day.
Having difficulty coming up with positive affirmations about yourself that are true? Ask people who are close to you: What is positive about me? What do you like about me? Others often see things that we don’t spot in ourselves.
After reading the unique and brilliant novel The Humans by Matt Haig, I decided to Google him to learn more about this extradorinaiy Author.
I discovered that he had suffered with poor mental health in the past and was releasing Reasons To Stay Alive on the topic of mental health. So I immediately ordered Reasons To Stay Alive to see what he had to say on the subject.
In Reasons To Stay Alive, Haig shares his own experience of anxiety and depression, starting with a note to the reader explaining that these are his experiences and that other people might experience anxiety and depression in differing ways.
His book is split into five sections. His first is Falling where he writes about symptoms, suicide (including some of the reasons why men are more at risk of suicide) and the facts about depression and anxiety.
Throughout Reasons To Stay Alive there are little gems of good advice. In Falling for example, Haig writes about The Bank of Bad Days (see below). I have found having a Bank of Bad Days extremely useful.
Bank of Bad Days
WHEN YOU ARE very depressed or anxious – unable to leave the house, or the sofa, or to think of anything but the depression – it can be unbearably hard. Bad days come in degrees. They are not all equally bad. And the really bad ones, though horrible to live through, are useful for later. You store them up. A bank of bad days. The day you had to run out of the supermarket. The day you were so depressed your tongue wouldn’t move. The day you made your parents cry. The day you nearly threw yourself off a cliff. So you are having another bad day you can say, Well, this feels bad, but there have been worse. And even when you can think of no worse day – when you are living in the very worst there has ever been – you at least know the bank exists and that you have made a deposit.
The second section is Landing where he writes a lot about some of his key experiences, as well as the warning signs of depression and anxiety.
The third section is Rising where Haig covers panic attacks, the importance of love, how to be there for someone with depression or anxiety and famous people that have suffered from depression and anxiety. This entire section aims to tell someone experiencing poor mental health that they are not alone.
Living is the fourth section of the book and focuses on recovery from depression and anxiety. This section covers the importance of slowing down, lists reasons to live, lists things that make Haig’s mental health worse and sometimes better.
Being is the last section of the book and gives forty pieces of advice that Haig feels are helpful.
The presentation of the book is good. It’s a small white hardback book, with small chapters (some only a page long), which because of his writing style as easy-to-read and engaging.
Reasons To Stay Alive is one of the better books written about poor mental health on the market. It is a quick and easy-to-read book that is well worth a read.
Dylan & Russell my Bengal cats have been meowing excessively; it has been enough to drive me mad. But after reading some cat behaviour books and forums on the Internet I managed to deal with the problem. So I thought I’d share the advice for others who maybe struggling with cats that meow excessively.
1. Identify the Cause of the Meowing
The first thing to do with cats that meow excessively is to identify the cause of their meowing. Cats meow for a number of reasons including: hunger, thirsty, wants the cat litter changing, illness, attention seeking, wants to play, loneliness, stress and horniness.
I made a list: Hungry? No. Food always in bowl. Thirsty? No. They always have fresh clean water in their bowl. Wants the cat litter changing? No. clean and emptied regularly. Illness? No signs or symptoms of illness. They are eating, drinking, using the cat litter as usual and no other change in their behaviour. Attention Seeking? Possibly. They meow excessively when they here me come through the front door and as soon as they see me. They usually stop meowing when I give them attention. Wants to play? Possibly sometimes. I can tell as their tail is up high with the tip swishing from side to side. Loneliness? Unlikely. There’s two of them, so they always have one another for company. Stress? Unlikely. Nothings changed that would cause them to be stressed. Horniness? Nope. Both of my boys have been neutered.
2. Address the Cause of the Meowing
Next you need to address the cause of their excessive meowing. Work your way down the list like I have. Hunger, thirsty and cat litter changes should be top of your list to check and sort. If you’re worried about illness a trip to the Vet might be in order.
I don’t mind a vocal greeting from my cats when I come home, but their excessive meowing was like a baby.
I decided it must be attention seeking, as giving them attention shut them up. But the more attention I gave them, the worse their meowing would be the next time.
I started ignoring my cats when they were meowing and showering them with attention when they were quiet. It was a bit of trial and error and it took them a while to get the message, but they eventually did. It seems to be working as they have really calmed down on their excessive meowing.
3. Things to Note
All cats are individuals and as such some will naturally be more vocal than others. Your cat may just like the sound of his/her own voice. Still there are strategies you can put in place to modify his/her behaviour.
It is worth noting that some breeds of cats are known to be very vocal. However bengals (my cats breed) are not particularly known for being vocal.
Are you a Doctor, Nurse, Healthcare Assistant or Other Healthcare Professional? Or a Student?
Ways The Human Body Can Go Wrong covers every system of the body, what can go wrong when the body malfunctions or fails, symptoms (including why these happen) and cures/treatments available.
It includes knowledge around essential skills for Clinical Excellence such as Assessment, All Age Observational Norms, Models of Care, Communication/Handover Tips, the role of Specialities, Medication Tips, Dealing with Errors, Documentation Advice and a list of Useful Resources.
It is written in plain English, but highlights important medical terminology. It has been written at a level where someone from a non-medical background can pick it up and learn, but that it is still valuable to those with significant Clinical Experience.
My dear friend Roy decided to follow in his family’s footsteps and enlist in the Royal Navy.
I wanted to maintain our friendship, to continue to support Roy, to make him laugh and to entertain him. So I came up with the idea of sending him a weekly email on random topics.
These emails were on a variety of topics, always being entertaining, sometimes being interesting, sometimes funny and occasionally being serious.
Topics included: Jokes, Puzzles, Inspirational Quotes, Future Technology to Be Excited About, How to Fight A Shark, How to Woo A Turtle, Some of the Most Amazing Jobs in the World, Facts About Castles, Do Aliens Exist?, The Kindest Humans, A List of Cakes, 13 Weird Body Facts, 20 Super Space Facts, Ancient Egyptian Curses, 10 Weird Olympic Games, The Great Emu War of 1932, Quiz: Flags of the World, Legendary Characters from the UK and others.
My Royal Navy Friend is a copy of these emails. In total, there are 52 emails. Dispersed throughout the book are also Royal Navy facts and stories.
This workbook has been designed for anyone that is struggling with alcohol or has struggled with alcohol in the past.
It is written in a Motivational Interviewing style, one of the key therapies used to support people with alcohol issues. It has been designed using a trauma-informed approach and is strength–based.
What you will find in this book is more than just worksheets about alcohol. You’ll find all the tools someone needs to get into recovery from alcohol and stay there. It’s a therapy-based book, not an alcohol-based book.
SpellCast is a comprehensive compendium of spells, oils, charms and talismans. It is purely a book about magic, folk magic for the 21st century. The spells are ones that are tried and tested, with some that will stand the test of time.
In SpellCast you will read about the power of Instant Magic, of Banishment & Bindings, Blessings, Cleansing, Communication, Death, Employment, Finance & Money, Fertility, Friendship, Happiness & Joy, Health, Love & Relationships, Luck Magic, Protection, Transformative Magic and WishCraft.
This book will change your life. Your life will be abundant in all meanings of the word.
This book contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness. Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom contains everything that you need to know about mental health and mental illness.
Mental Health Wisdom is divided into three sections.
Understanding is section one and is all about the facts of mental health.
In section two, Empathy Through Lived Experience, the author shares his personal experience of mental illness.
Life Hacks is section three. It’s all about self-care and quick and easy ways to improve your mental health, prevent mental illness or relapse of mental illness.
If you find my blog educational or entertaining, please consider making a purchase or donation on Ko-Fi.
Hi Sofia, Thanks for the comment. I bought that in Glastonbury and he was a real find. I bought him…
Hi! I know this was posted ages ago and so a response may be rare but my dad has been…
Hi Ruth, Thanks for the comment. He might well have been. A x
Hi! Watching video and interviews with Charlie Watt, it had me wondering if he might have had Aspergers/ been on…
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Hungry? No. Food always in bowl.
Attention Seeking? Possibly. They meow excessively when they here me come through the front door and as soon as they see me. They usually stop meowing when I give them attention. 
A great introductory article on candle magic :)
Hi Sofia, Thanks for the comment. I bought that in Glastonbury and he was a real find. I bought him…
Hi! I know this was posted ages ago and so a response may be rare but my dad has been…
Hi Ruth, Thanks for the comment. He might well have been. A x
Hi! Watching video and interviews with Charlie Watt, it had me wondering if he might have had Aspergers/ been on…