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Book Review: If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN! by Whoopi Goldberg

By Amazon, Books & Authors, Gay, Love & Relationships, ReviewsNo Comments
whoopi-goldberg-run-book-cover Before I start this review, I want to say that I love the all-round good egg that is Whoopi Goldberg. I love the on screen Goldberg. I love the Goldberg I’ve watched on many interviews on YouTube where she has defended the rights of gay people, the homeless, children and people who have substance misuse issues. Goldberg has been fighting the battle against AIDS, since it came onto the scene in the 80s.

Goldberg gives her advice about love and relationships in If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN!. The book can be summarised in three sentences:
1. Be self aware. Know what you want from a relationship and be realistic about it.
2. Have your own life. Be comfortable alone. Have your own busy life and don’t make a new relationship your entire life. It’s good to have your own friends, social commitments, hobbies and leisure activities.
3. Communicate. Tell your potential partner what you want and don’t from the outset. Set the boundaries from the beginning and know what you’re willing to compromise on and what you’re not willing to compromise on.

At the start of a If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN! Goldberg describes herself as an Realist. But at intervals throughout the book she felt like more of a Cynic.

In If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN! Goldberg discusses friends with benefits or F*** buddies, mentioning that she has a few for booty calls herself. She emphasises the need to know the difference between physical and emotional needs, and for both sides to know what the deal is.

Goldberg is an inspirational icon, but there’s just nothing inspiring about this book, which is a real shame. It should be noted that she wrote this book during and after the recent death of her brother. So perhaps she was grief-stricken with a deadline looming.

There were some mildly entertaining Ask Whoopi sections throughout the book, where Goldberg responds to relationship dilemmas.

What Goldberg covers in If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN! could have been covered in a 500-1,000 word article. It felt like Goldberg had put tones of unnecessary words in, that said nothing, to make up the word count.

This is not the first time I’ve been disappointed by a book Goldberg has written. I read her Book, which I reviewed here and was disappointed. I think in future, I’ll steer clear of any written works by Goldberg.

Review soon,

Antony

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Wednesday 30 March 2016

All of your tick boxes

By Love & Relationships, Thinking6 Comments

When looking for a partner we all have tick boxes in our head. Qualities, traits or characteristics that we would like them to meet. Some we see as essential and others aren’t as important. Some of my tick boxes are:

  • Attractive – nice eyes, short, slim
  • Emotions – love, make me feel that certain way
  • Funny
  • Good sexual chemistry
  • Intimacy – not sex, but sensual experiences
  • Pagan – or at least interested in spirituality
  • Stimulating conversation -Pillow talk
  • Support when times are tough
  • Clear communicator
  • Romance – surprises and little efforts
  • The little things: Tea in the morning – in bed
  • Honesty
  • Knowing how to handle me, knowing how to give constructive critism or challenge me with out getting my back up
  • Keeps me in check – in terms of my little boundary pushes from time to time
  • Caring and Kindness – not just to me but to others
  • Buys good gifts
  • An optimistic
  • An creative
  • Recognise the importance of balance. The relationship VS my independent life
  • Gets on with my friends and my family
  • Can put up with my untidiness
  • Be open about Finances, share the expenses at dates (maybe I pay one time he pays the other)

    • Wow that’s a long list! What I’ve realised is that this comes from Disney. I was a Disney child brought up with stories of a princess finding her prince, who’s perfect in every way and ticked everyone of the princesses tick boxes. But that’s in an ideal and perfect world.

    Human beings by nature are imperfect and as such have created an imperfect world. So is it really realistic to expect one man to meet all of your tick boxes in your head? Human beings are also social creatures, so why can’t some of these boxes be ticked by family, friends and other loved ones?

    I think so. I am going to reflect on what I really want a man to tick and what others are currently being ticked by family, friends and others. If any are left over, I’ll have to find someone to tick them too.

    One person can’t meet all of our needs. We are social beings and as such need a number of people to meet our different needs. To expect on man to meet all of our needs is unrealistic.

    We as human beings are quite needy aren’t we? Or is it just me?

    Blog soon,

    Antony

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    Saturday 3 October 2009
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