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All of your tick boxes

By Saturday 3 October 2009Love & Relationships, Thinking

When looking for a partner we all have tick boxes in our head. Qualities, traits or characteristics that we would like them to meet. Some we see as essential and others aren’t as important. Some of my tick boxes are:

  • Attractive – nice eyes, short, slim
  • Emotions – love, make me feel that certain way
  • Funny
  • Good sexual chemistry
  • Intimacy – not sex, but sensual experiences
  • Pagan – or at least interested in spirituality
  • Stimulating conversation -Pillow talk
  • Support when times are tough
  • Clear communicator
  • Romance – surprises and little efforts
  • The little things: Tea in the morning – in bed
  • Honesty
  • Knowing how to handle me, knowing how to give constructive critism or challenge me with out getting my back up
  • Keeps me in check – in terms of my little boundary pushes from time to time
  • Caring and Kindness – not just to me but to others
  • Buys good gifts
  • An optimistic
  • An creative
  • Recognise the importance of balance. The relationship VS my independent life
  • Gets on with my friends and my family
  • Can put up with my untidiness
  • Be open about Finances, share the expenses at dates (maybe I pay one time he pays the other)
  • Wow that’s a long list! What I’ve realised is that this comes from Disney. I was a Disney child brought up with stories of a princess finding her prince, who’s perfect in every way and ticked everyone of the princesses tick boxes. But that’s in an ideal and perfect world.

    Human beings by nature are imperfect and as such have created an imperfect world. So is it really realistic to expect one man to meet all of your tick boxes in your head? Human beings are also social creatures, so why can’t some of these boxes be ticked by family, friends and other loved ones?

    I think so. I am going to reflect on what I really want a man to tick and what others are currently being ticked by family, friends and others. If any are left over, I’ll have to find someone to tick them too.

    One person can’t meet all of our needs. We are social beings and as such need a number of people to meet our different needs. To expect on man to meet all of our needs is unrealistic.

    We as human beings are quite needy aren’t we? Or is it just me?

    Blog soon,


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    • Sye says:

      I wouldn’t say needy, needy I would identify as a charactersistic or personality trait not always held from one person to the next, but maybe another term to use for the list would be ‘standards’. the longer the list, the higher your standards (the more perticular about a person,) The shorter the list, the less standards you seem to have.

      I wonder why people consider having low (or high?) standards a bad thing, who decides?

    • Antony says:

      I wouldn’t say they are standards because they all meet one of my needs or desires.

      A x

    • Mike says:

      I think that’s a great list. Sye’s right – it’s not neediness; it’s standards. And having standards means you have self-worth. A HUGELY attractive trait. You should definitely hold out for someone who meets most if not all your exopectations; you have a lot to offer too 🙂



    • Antony says:

      Maybe they are standards lol. But I don’t think it is realistic for one man to meet them all.

      Thank you for saying I have a lot to offer, lol, not sure about that though.


      A x

    • Sye says:

      For the record, someone would be lucky to land you Ant, you tick a lot of the boxes people would consider ‘special’.

      Not me though, because it has to be all about ME 😛

    • Antony says:

      Ha ha….ok.

      Stop stealing my saying ‘It’s all about me’ lol even though I stole it off someone else!

      A x

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