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emotional trauma

The Power of the Subconscious Mind

By Health, ThinkingNo Comments

The power of the subconscious mind should never be underestimated. The subconscious mind is responsible for automatic responses to stimuli including: physiological states/changes, storing & processing of experiences/memories, prompting thoughts into the conscious mind, determining emotional responses and morals/beliefs. The subconscious mind can influence our behaviour without our conscious mind being aware of it.

Some good examples of the subconscious mind in action are any behaviour that we do without consciously thinking about it (such as breathing or holding your breath, your heart beating, walking, body language) and learned behaviours (such as navigating a route, riding a bike, driving a car).

The role of your subconscious mind is to keep you safe and to make life a little easier for you. But unlike your conscious mind it isn’t driven by thoughts and logic, instead it is driven by emotions and intuition.

Think of the two parts of your mind as being like an iceberg. Your conscious mind being above the water level, whereas your subconscious mind is the much larger part of the iceberg hidden below the water.

If your subconscious mind is troubled or disturbed, you are likely to experience some of the following symptoms:

  • Difficulty sleeping – you may struggle getting to sleep or staying a sleep. You might have disturbing dreams or even night terrors. Waking up more tired than when you went to bed.
  • A lack of energy – including feeling exhausted. This in turn will impact on your motivation levels, as energy and motivation are intricately linked.
  • Muscle tension – throughout your body. You may experience unexplained aches and pains.
  • Difficulty relaxing and a lack of enjoyment in activities you used to find pleasurable.
  • Increased anxiety levels – along with all the symptoms that anxiety brings with it.
  • A reduced ability to concentrate, including difficulties in making both small and large decisions.
  • Feeling overwhelmed.
  • Becoming easily irritated or annoyed.

So how do you heal a troubled or disturbed mind? It’s a difficult one. It’s not easy. It takes work.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t operate the way your conscious mind does. Your conscious mind is made up of thoughts. You can reason and use logic with it.

Your subconscious mind on the other hand, it communicates in emotions, symbolism in dreams and random and often irrational thoughts. But there are things you can do to help your subconscious mind heal from being troubled, disturbed or traumatised. They include:

  1. Create a safe and positive environment – Your subconscious mind craves safety and a sense of security. So having an environment where you feel safe and positive is essential.
  2. Explore your emotions, lean into all of them and fully experience them. No more suppressing or ignoring hoe you feel. Process your emotions logically and thank your subconscious for sharing information through emotions.
  3. Pay close attention to you conscious thoughts. Look out for rumination, a critical inner voice and repetitive thoughts of self-doubt.
  4. Keep a journal. Express your thoughts and feelings on paper (or computer). Doing this allows your brain to properly process, rather than pushing thoughts and feelings down into the subconscious.
  5. Meditate. Meditation builds self-awareness and quietens your mind so you can better hear the messages from your subconscious.
  6. Practice self-care. Try to eat well, take regular exercise and have a good sleep routine. These actions not only help you physically but are an important signals to your subconscious. By practising self-care you are giving/repeating a message to your subconscious: That you matter enough to be kept safe and taken care of.
  7. Create new experiences – Focus on activities that bring you pleasure, enjoyment and happiness.
  8. Stop harmful behaviours – If you use alcohol, substances, disordered eating, excessive work or other behaviours that you are harming you whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally try to stop these. You may need professional help and it may take time. But do it. It is worth it, I promise.
  9. Evaluate your relationships. Make sure all your relationships are healthy and not in anyway abusive or neglectful. If you are in a toxic relationship, run, get out. You deserve to have relationships that are healthy, loving, kind and respectful.
  10. Get professional support. Get counselling or other talking therapies. The process of counselling (or other talking therapies) can help you to identify how you can change your life to make you healthier and happier. I will warn you that counselling or other talking therapies require active participation, reflection and a desire to deal with problems and make changes.
  11. Check in with how you are feeling regularly. Set a time each day to check in with how you feel. Try to choose a time when you are not busy – like first thing in the morning, lunchtime or before bed.
  12. Deal with any past traumatic experiences – This may include acknowledging what trauma you’ve experienced, dealing with difficult emotions and learning to forgive and let go.

Before I finish, I will say just one more thing: That healing the subconscious takes time. Don’t expect instant results. Just keep working on it and keep focused. Always ask yourself: Will my thinking/behaviour lead to a happier and healthier me? If the answer isn’t an instant yes, then change your thoughts or behaviour until the answer is a distinctive and strong YES!

Write soon,

Antony

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Fear

By Thinking2 Comments

Following on from my last post Listening to my Heart through Mediation, I wanted to write about fear. I remember as a child I had confidence (albeit at little too much at times) to attempt anything, I had no fear of failure. It was one of the most precious gifts my mum had instilled me and my brothers. But since I’ve been listening to my heart I have felt more fear than ever before.

Perhaps it’s worried about more emotional trauma. Which is completely understandable. But recently I’ve had to go into situations that my fear has made me dredd beforehand, imaging what’s going to be said by people, how they will respond to me, etc. And you know what?

Facing my fear has been good. It’s never been as bad as I’ve imagined, in fact in some situations quite the opposite. So my advice to anyone feeling fear – think about how positive the situation could go (to give a balanced view), then go and face the situation – it’s never as bad as your fear makes out. And if it was, simply do what you have to do and then walk away.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Listening to my Heart through Meditation

By Paganism, ThinkingNo Comments

In the past I always followed my heart, trusting it to take me where I needed to go. But I have recently discovered that my brain and heart have been acting completely separate of one another.

It’s weird that two parts of myself can be operating completely separately and with no communication, but perhaps it was essential, so that my heart could take some time-out to deal with the emotional trauma I have experienced in the last twelve months (see Grief, My Darling Baby Brother & The Annual Christmas Card Letter). Meanwhile my brain stepped in and took over the task of day-to-day living.

When I was following my heart I was living, whereas from the point when my brain stepped in I’ve been existing. I want to follow my heart again and live, so how to do it? How to reconnect my brain and heart – like it used to be?

Well I’ve started to mediate. I clear my brain of all the tasks of day-to-day living, quietening my mind. Then focus on one thought – my heart and what it’s saying. It’s difficult but I’m starting to hear what my heart is saying and starting to feel at an emotional level like I used too. First listen to my heart, then learn to respond to what it says.

Write soon,

Antony



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The Annual Christmas Card Letter

By Education, Friends & Family, Happiness & Joy, Life, Love & Relationships, Paganism, Pets, Thinking2 Comments

Every year I write to my family and friends and include a Christmas card letter – letting them know what’s happened in my life in the last twelve months. This year has been no different, below is my letter tweaked slightly for you, the readers.


Get in touch, contact me

Monday 21st November 2011

Dear Reader,

How fast this year has flown! I hope you find that yours has been a positive one, that’s been filled with joy. My year has been a tough one, more so than I could have ever expected. In January Alex my younger brother (18 year old) suddenly and unexpectedly died (see My Darling Baby Brother & Grief). I lost my enthusiasm for life, and still have times when I am incredibly sad. (Right: photo of Alex.) It was around this time that I also got a letter from work stating that I was ‘at risk’ of redundancy due to the government budget cuts.

In February I continued to work on my final two university modules to complete my Nursing Degree (elearning). However due to the strict fortnightly deadlines on one module and the emotional trauma I was experiencing at the time, I was forced to put the module back. This means that instead of graduating with honours this year it will be next year.

My Darling Baby Brother

My Darling Baby Brother

25th Birthday Blackpool

In May family and friends joined me to celebrate my 25th Birthday in Blackpool (Left: a photo of family and friends, see My Blackpool Birthday). A good time was had by all and I feel very fortunate to have such wonderful friends and family. Simon and I also visited Anglesey to see some of the ancient pagan monuments. (Right: a stone circle, see Visiting: Ancient Angelsey.)

Pagan Stone Circle in Anglesey

Dylan & Russell

June brought the arrival of new additions to my immediate family, two gorgeous Bengal kittens named Dylan and Russell. I have had hours of laughter from them, lots of cuddles and intermittent mischievous behaviour (Left: Dylan and Rus saying hello to the camera, see Kittens at home and spending time with Family and Friends.) In July I had the privilege to attend Shaun (my long lost brother) and Sarah’s (his now-wife) Wedding. It was a very emotional and touching ceremony, followed by a big reception and evening party (see The Wedding of the Year).

Shaun & Sarah's Wedding

September brought new career prospects as I got interviewed for and offered a new job. I accepted and started a three year post. I am enjoying the challenge and making the most of the opportunity to learn.

John Barrowman LIVE

In October I finally got to see John Barrowman Live. I have wanted to see him perform for the last four years. The first two years I couldn’t manage to get tickets (as he only plays at more intimate venues), last year I got tickets but was too ill to go, so I was pleased to finally make it. I went with Simon and we had a fantastic time. (Left: John Barrowman before the curtain dropped, see An evening see John Barrowman LIVE.)

Now as the winter starts to signal the years end I find myself in a reflective mood. My love life this year has been barren, but I haven’t minded as I haven’t been at my best. Most of my goals for this year have not been met, and my spiritual beliefs have been challenged. Still despite all that has happened this year, there have been moments of joy and positivity.

My hopes next year are for more positivity for me and those I care about. In the New Year I hope to make more progress in whatever goals I set and hope those around me make progress in their lives too. Most of all, I hope for happiness for all.

My love always,

Antony xxx

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