I’m about eight or nine in this photo, it’s Christmas and I’m striking a pose in my Power Rangers pyjamas proudly showing off my new cross puppet. I remember loving to entertain others, being full of confidence and having no inhibitions. I remember being sensitive, caring and sometimes in a world of my own. My mum describes me as a child by saying I was “such a joy to have.”
If you’d have shown me this photo as a teenager I’d have cringed with embarrassment. By my teen years I’d realised that I was different to others; I became very self-conscious of what my peers thought about me and was hiding my sexuality out of fear of what they’d think, say or do. I also became extremely self-critical of seemingly everything about myself.
Today, I look at this photo and aspire to be like that younger version of myself. I am so thankful that as a child my mum instilled me with confidence to be myself and always made me feel loved. I am still learning and developing as I experience life, but there are many goals I’ve been successful in achieving and the others I’m working towards.
If there are any gay youth who are experiencing what I did in my teens I would encourage them to stay true to who they are, only listen to the opinions of people who truly love you – they will love you for who you are, seek out support (Google: lgbt support) and come out when you’re ready.
I look at this photo and think: how did my family not know I was gay? The answer is that they did! I was born gay and I wouldn’t be any other way.
Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 8th August 2014.
Born This Way shares one hundred stories of people growing up gay from the 1940’s to the present day. Each of the contributors have shared a photo of them as a child and then wrote about their experiences.
Celebrity contributors include: Perez Hilton (Celebrity Blogger), Patrick Bristow (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Andy Bell (lead singer Erasure), Clinton Leupp (Drag Artist), Matt Baume (LGBT Activist) to name a few.
The book is aimed at the US market which is evident through the use of language using words such as “mom” and celebrities that are US-based. It was easy to get over this and relate to the contributors experiences including the feeling of isolation I experienced when I was younger, as back then being gay was taboo and there were no openly out gay role models in society.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the longer stories in the book and indeed a few stick in my mind as emotionally touching. I felt grateful that the contributors choose to share their personal childhood experiences, to which anyone could relate too gay or straight. The shorter stories, with some contributors sharing a paragraph made them feel like anecdotes. I would of preferred the few shorter stories being removed and increasing the length of a few of the longer stories. There was no reference to bisexual or trans people, I’m not doubting that some of the contributors were bisexual and trans – just that some reference would have given me that unique context to their stories.
Vitagliano originally started the idea of sharing childhood experiences on the Born This Way Blog. The idea behind the blog and this book is to reach out too gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans youth with the message that they were born gay, they are not alone and that they are perfect exactly as they are. The book encourages parents to accept their child’s sexuality as part of who they are and to love them unconditionally. These messages to gay youth and their parents are wonderful, the book conveys and reinforces them well.
The Contributors of the stories come from Western Countries with most of the stories coming from the US. I can understand the lack of stories from Eastern Countries due to the legality and attitudes towards homosexuality, but a story or two would have highlighted the issues gay people face in that part of the world and give gay youth the message that they need to continue to fight for their rights on an international level.
Overall the book is fantastically presented with truly inspirational stories that will leave you with a sense of admiration for the strength and bravery of the contributors. The book will make a ideal gift for any of your gay friends or parents of children or young people who are gay. Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay by Paul Vitagliano is available to pre-order/order on Amazon.
I met a man recently. His attractiveness caught my eye. He has a young-looking face but his eyes give the distinct impression that he’s older than he looks. He can be masculine but equally effeminate dependant on the circumstances. What I had observed of him fascinated me and I wanted to know more, so I asked around…
I found out that he’s gay – which I’d sort of guessed. That he’s taken (in a relationship) and that he has foster children. I wasn’t sure if this was right so I asked him…
The brief conversation we had fascinated me even more. All of what I found out are true. But what was more fascinating was how intense our brief communication was. It felt as though through his tone of his voice I could sense what he felt about what he was talking about. This fascinated me even more…
So I steered the conversation towards one of the safer things that fascinated me about him and his life: his foster children. I told him that if I ever fostered children with a partner, that I worry that the children would get bullied because of my sexuality. It was a this point that our conversation was interrupted…
I said I’d like to continue the conversation sometime. Since this brief conversation I have thought about this man and his life. Especially in regards to the foster children. A long time ago I crossed things off a list I’d never be able to do…
First getting married. That couldn’t of happened at the time of this list as no legislation allowed it. That’s changed now, gay people can have a civil partnership and the government are looking into the prospect of calling it gay mariage. Second was children…
People always said to me “you can foster”. But I always said, I don’t think society has progressed enough in it’s views to accept two gay men raising children. Perhaps this has changed as well? Something to think about…
The Independent on Sunday do a yearly ‘Pink List’. For those of you who don’t know, a Pink List is the most influential gay people of the year. I won’t mention the fact that there’s still a quarter of the year to go, I wont. You can read their Pink List here: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/the-iiosi-pink-list-2010-2040472.html.
As I go down the list giving my thoughts please expect some people to be completely omitted because
I have no idea who they are. Sorry but your just not famous enough to have attracted me attention, yet. No hard feelings, eh?
The Independent on Sunday ‘Pink List’ 2010
1. Gareth Thomas the rugby player absolutely deserves at number one this year. The rugby world along with other sporting worlds remain homophobic and the way gay people have changed attitudes in this country is by coming out to their friends and family. We just need someone from the football world to come out now, my bets on Cristiano Ronaldo.
3. Stephen Fry the broadcaster and writer speaks up for gay rights more than most of the public realise. Recently the media have picked up about his recent relationship breakdown and his new partner aged 26. Come on, like at fifty some-thing if you could get a 26 year old you wouldn’t? Leave the man alone. He will always have my respects, unless of course he did something really bad – like – murder or something equally morally wrong.
6. Alan Carr the comedian known for his show Chatty Man on channel 4 is very funny. I didn’t realise that you could influence people with humor. It seems so, well done Alan. Perhaps I should give that saying about laughing people in to bed a try?
7. Peter Tatchell the human rights activist has been banging on about Marriage as apposed to Civil Partnerships and still campaigns for true equality for gay people. It seems like the job title of “Human Rights Activist” was becoming redundant with the strides forward we made with the Labour Government, but now the Conservatives are back in, you’ve got your work cut out for you Peter. Thanks for standing up for our rights.
10. Sue Perkins the comedian and writer, is she the one whose thin, tall, short hair and glasses? If so, I like her. She seems nice.
12. Scott Mills the Radio 1 DJ, I hadn’t realised was gay! Honestly, I think my gaydar needs some tweaking. Love his radio 1 show, I always listen on my way home from work in the car, it makes me smile and often laugh. Keep doing what you do Scott.
34. Matt Lucas, I haven’t seen him around much since Little Brittan. Oh wait I have heard his voice in Alice and Wonderland though, I think.
36. Simon Amstell, not seen much of him. He’s boring me now on Never Mind the Buzzcocks but that’s only because repeats are constantly on Dave.
47. Derren Brown bless his cotton socks. There’s something I like about this man. I dunno what it is but there’s also plenty I don’t like: his smug attitude. Luckily this year hasn’t been like the last were I was Unable to escape from Derren Brown.
52. Lord Mandelson a Labour party peer, just creeps me out every time I look at him.
55. Matthew Todd the Editor of Attitude magazine. Now I must confess Matthew I didn’t know who you were until recently. I picked up a copy of this months Attitude entitled “The ‘Issues’ Issue” because of the feature “We’ve found the secret to being gay and happy” and I’m really enjoying reading it. Blog post coming soon, when I’ve finished the reading. Attitude has always made refreshing reading when compared to the Gay Times, but well done on a well written and well put together issue this month. Big pat on the back for Matthew!
56. Gok Wan this year has made appearances on the TV Book Club, which isn’t as book-worm-ish as it sounds. I actually like how they tell you what a book is like and then you can sus out if it’s worth buying for yourself.
64. Russell T Davies the former writer Dr. Who seems to have gone back to life behind the lime light rather than in it as I haven’t heard much from him this year. No supprise really, those writter types prefer it there.
70. Julian Clary the entertainer seems to be making a come back to our TV screens recently following on from his former boyfriend going to Austrailia (I found that out in Attitude Magazine as well, a really informative issue). He has been writing books for a while, but I think he’s a gifted entertainer as well, so welcome back Julian, you’ve been missed, well by me anyway.
76. Will Young the former winner of Pop Idol (remember that show? God, that was a life time ago or so it seems) I haven’t seen doing anything. Get in the studio and write and sing a new album out, it’s been a while now.
100. Joe McElderry last years winner of X Factor seemed to have made it at the bottom of the list as a last minute addition. For what? I hear you ask. For coming out as gay. What made me laugh is that he sold his story to The Sun of all news papers. I remember being in ASDA the day the paper was released picking up some bits and bats and as I started to read the unorignal headline: “Joe: I’m gay” a chav said: “Like we didn’t know.” Made me smile.
Overall a lot of the people on the list I didn’t know seemed London based, which is to be expected isn’t it? Don’t you know? London is the centre of the world. Apparently.
Blog soon,
Antony
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Monday 6 September 2010
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Antony Simpson - Author, Blogger, Nurse & Witch.
Author of eight books.
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