Inspired by Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay by Paul Vitagliano, I’ve decided to share my own story of growing up gay.
I’m about eight or nine in this photo, it’s Christmas and I’m striking a pose in my Power Rangers pyjamas proudly showing off my new cross puppet. I remember loving to entertain others, being full of confidence and having no inhibitions. I remember being sensitive, caring and sometimes in a world of my own. My mum describes me as a child by saying I was “such a joy to have.”
If you’d have shown me this photo as a teenager I’d have cringed with embarrassment. By my teen years I’d realised that I was different to others; I became very self-conscious of what my peers thought about me and was hiding my sexuality out of fear of what they’d think, say or do. I also became extremely self-critical of seemingly everything about myself.
Today, I look at this photo and aspire to be like that younger version of myself. I am so thankful that as a child my mum instilled me with confidence to be myself and always made me feel loved. I am still learning and developing as I experience life, but there are many goals I’ve been successful in achieving and the others I’m working towards.
If there are any gay youth who are experiencing what I did in my teens I would encourage them to stay true to who they are, only listen to the opinions of people who truly love you – they will love you for who you are, seek out support (Google: lgbt support) and come out when you’re ready.
I look at this photo and think: how did my family not know I was gay? The answer is that they did! I was born gay and I wouldn’t be any other way.
Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 8th August 2014.
Blog soon,
Antony
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My dearest Antony,
Nobody will ever want you to be any other way! You are the sweetest kindest man that I know. You have so many positive attributes that shine out of every pore of your body and I am so proud and happy to be a part of your life.
Love you
J. XXXX
Hi Jayne,
Oh I don’t know about all that – but nonetheless thanks for the complements. I’m so proud of you too my dear and happy to have you in my life. I’ve told you we are friend soul mates, despite the fact that in a previous life you stabbed me and pushed me off a cliff for sleeping with your sister and you at the same time lol.
Love you loads and loads and loads,
A XXX
Hi Antony
Yes growing up living next door to you with my family I also knew you would be gay.Just a little disapointed in you though that you never did become a Butlins red coat.With all your shows you used to put on but you always had to be the stage manager as well telling Kate ,Emma Beth and Alex what to do .Happy lovely times xx
Hi Lynn,
Thanks for the comment. I’m glad I didn’t become a Butlins red coat as I couldn’t sing if my life depended up on it ha ha. But yes, happy, lovely times. I had a brilliant childhood and I was so lucky as not all people do.
A xx