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Unsafe Places to be a Gay Man

By Gay, ThinkingNo Comments

Imagine living with a secret that could get you killed. Imagine the lengths you would have to go to to keep this secret. Imagine growing up being told that people like you are unnatural and immoral. In these circumstances how would you cope? How would you protect your mental and emotional health?

What I’ve just described is the life of some gay men in some places. They aren’t able to choose who they love. They face being disowned by their family and friends, assaults, criminal prosecution and potentially even being sentenced to death. Just because of who they are and who they are attracted to/fall in love with.

In the UK, gay men have equal rights in law and attitudes are becoming more positive towards gay men. But this wasn’t always the case.

Just fifty years ago, being gay was illegal in the UK. Gay men weren’t out, they couldn’t marry their male partners, couldn’t adopt children as a gay couple and couldn’t give blood.

If fifty years ago a gay man had come out and told people of their sexuality they would face legal consequences (such as being locked up in a mental hospital or worse chemical castration). They would face being disowned by their community (if not driven out of it), become the repeated victim of crime, experience unsympathetic and homophobic Police, experience discrimination when buying goods or accessing services, be unable to get employment and many other negative consequences. All because they’d been honest about who they are and who they are romantically attracted to.

Given this history of prejudice and discrimination (both on individual and institutional levels), it’s not surprising that coming out is a big event for gay men. Gay men who do come out show emotional vulnerability, driven by a desire for loved ones to fully know them and a hope that they will accept them for who they are. It explains why some people gay men will never come out and take the secret of who they are to their grave.

It also explains why gay men often have mental health issues (including being at greater risk of suicide), low self-esteem, problems with addiction (self-medicating difficult emotions such as shame or fear) and generally worse health outcomes than heterosexual people. There’s a lot of shame, self-loathing and unhappiness in the gay community. It is currently getting better in the UK, with younger generations of gay men experiencing these issues to a lesser extent.

But around the world there are many places where it is extremely unsafe to be a gay man. Where gay men still have to hide who they are. I think it’s really sad that gay men have only got equal rights in some countries, but not others.

Here are some countries where it is unsafe to be a gay man and what the legal consequences could be for coming out. An out gay man in any of these countries would likely experience the same prejudice and discrimination that an out gay man would have experienced in the UK fifty years ago. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Just some of the main countries I found out about whilst doing research for this blog post.

CountryLegal Consequences
EgyptUp to 17 years in prison, with or without hard labour.
MoroccoUp to 6 years in prison, with hard labour.
Tunisia3 years in prison.
Ghana3 years in prison.
NigeriaUp to 14 years in prison. They have the death penalty in some parts, but it is apparently not used.
KenyaUp to 14 years in prison.
Saudi ArabiaVery barbaric. Death penalty, or prison. Fines and floggings.
United Arab EmiratesPrison time. Minimum 6 months, but no upper maximum amount of time (up to the Courts).
Bangladesh10 years to life prison sentence.
MaldivesUp to 8 years in prison.
Pakistan2 years to life in prison.
Sri LankaUp to 10 years in prison, plus fines.
Malaysia20 years in prison.

What struck me after I compiled the list above, is that for some people, their holiday destination might be listed. I wonder if the people going on holiday to these places realise how they treat gay men there? Just a thought.

If you enjoyed this blog post, you might enjoy my Influential UK Gay Men article which is available as a free download here.

Write soon,

Antony

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A List of Qualities in Good Friends

By Friends & Family, ThinkingNo Comments

Here is a list of Qualities I require in my friends. To me friends with these qualities are good friends and ones to treasure:

a-list-of-qualities-in-good-friends

A List of Qualities in Good Friends.

Blog soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Creative Writing: End

By Creativity, ThinkingNo Comments
writing-quill-ink-well-large

Inkwell & Quill. (Image Copyright: Sye Watts/Antony Simpson.)

This is the third and final part in a blog post series, where I’ll be sharing some of what I’ve learned about creative writing over the last few years. The first blog post in the series was Creative Writing: Beginning and the second blog post in the series was Creative Writing: Middle.

1. Carry a Notebook for Ideas
Ideas often come at the strangest of times and in the strangest of places. I’ve had ideas come to me in the bath and had to jump out, dripping wet, to write them down. So be prepared. Carry a notebook with you everywhere that you go. Keep one on your bedside table. Any ideas you get, good, bad or neither, just write them down. It might be a plot, or a character, or a location. The idea might not be fully formed. It doesn’t matter. Just write it down.

2. NEVER Delete Anything
Never delete anything that you write. Save everything. One day, you might want to go back to it. Even if you don’t continue where you left off, but instead start the creative work again with a completely different angle. You’re going to need the original beginnings.

3. Editing Checklist
Most writers spend more time editing than they do writing. It is advisable to click Save As… and save another version of your work with every edit, so that if you want to go back you can. Here’s my editing checklist:

Unticked Box First Read Aloud. Any sentences that you struggle to read or make sense of usually need further work.
Unticked Box Check for appropriate use of capitalisation, commas, semicolons, full stops and speech marks.
Unticked Box Check for typos.
Unticked Box Grammar and Spelling Check.
Unticked Box Cut Overwriting & Repetitions.
Unticked Box Re-write sentences that don’t make sense or are unclear.
Unticked Box Second Read Aloud. Any sentences that you struggle to read or make sense of usually need further work.
Unticked Box Consistency Checks: Tense, Perspective, Description, Characters and Plot.
Unticked Box Consider plot and pacing. Are there any plot holes? Is the pacing of scenes, chapters or even the whole work to slow, to fast or about right?
Unticked Box Third Read Aloud. Any sentences that you struggle to read or make sense of usually need further work.
Unticked Box Put the work away for a few weeks, then go back to it and start the editing checklist again. A break from a creative project gives you distance and allows you to spot mistakes or problems that you didn’t see in the original writing or editing stages because you were to close to the work.

Here is another more technical editing checklist: Grammar Girl’s Editing Checklist.

4. Reader Feedback
Reader feedback is great. But you have to be open to any constructive criticism about your creative work. If you ask friends or family to read your work, ensure that you have a relationship with them that allows complete honesty. Ensure that this honesty doesn’t damage your relationship. I read a good friend’s creative work on a regular basis, as he does mine, and we are completely honest in our feedback. We can do this because we both know that the feedback we give and receive is given with kindness, and is aimed at helping one another to create the best work that we can.

You should always appreciate and appraise reader feedback from any source. Appreciate that someone has taken the time to read your work and give feedback. People who give feedback are often working on their own creative projects. They have taken time out of their creative work to give you feedback on yours.

You don’t need to agree on all the points that they raise, or change everything that they suggest needs changing. You are the creator of your own work, so use your own judgement. But consider the feedback, especially if you are getting the same feedback from several different sources.

Some Writers come together in local Writers groups to get feedback on their creative work. These days there are probably some Writers groups online. Some Writers find these groups useful, others don’t. The best way to see if this works for you is to give it a try.

5. Publishing Options
You can send your work to agents and publishers. To the larger presses or smaller independent ones. You can self-publish on Amazon and even get your self-published printed on demand (POD). I don’t have loads of knowledge about publishing or the experience to advise. All I would say is people with little or no experience manage to get their work published all the time.

6. Promoting Your Work
Some great ways to promote your work include:

  • Get a good book cover designed. Book covers are the first thing people see about your work. A good book cover design can make the difference between people buying your creative work or not.
  • If you’re writing the blurb on the back cover, make sure it is written in a way that sells your creative work.
  • Use social media. Facebook, Twitter, goodreads and Instagram as a minimum.
  • Approach appropriate bloggers, vbloggers and ask them to read & review your creative work.
  • Send copies of your work to appropriate News Paper Entertainment Columnist, Magazine Writers, other Authors, etc. requesting they read & review your work.
  • Attend literacy events and be involved with the literacy community (both locally and online).
  • Do interviews with anyone that is willing to interview you.
  • Try and be in the Media: TV, Radio, News Papers & Magazines. Even if it isn’t directly about your creative work, you’d be surprised how many people will see, hear or read what you say/write and go on to seek out your creative works.
  • Do readings.
  • Contact local libraries, book stores, etc and arrange signings and/or readings.
  • Encourage people to write Amazon Reviews.
  • Have a book Giveaway – people love the opportunity to win something.
  • Hire a Marketing Company, there are many out there that specialise in the PR and marketing of books.

7. Some Great Books About Creative Writing & Publishing

Write soon,

Antony



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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A List of Qualities in People that INSPIRE Me

By Inspiration, Life, ThinkingNo Comments

According to Google inspiration is defined as:

inspiration-definition

Google’s Definition of Inspiration

Back in 2008, I wrote a blog post about People that inspire me. I could add so many people to that blog post.

But instead I decided to look at the qualities in people that inspire me. Here’s my list of qualities that those people display:

  • Accepting.
  • Authentic.
  • Balanced in their thinking.
  • Battle their inner demons.
  • Believe in fairness and equality.
  • Brings joy to others.
  • Can have a presence on entering a room or blend into the background in social situations.
  • Captivating Story Teller.
  • Careful in their actions.
  • Cares about others.
  • Comfortable with themselves.
  • Confident yet humble.
  • Connects emotionally with others.
  • Creative.
  • Describes their own thoughts & feelings through words well.
  • Determined.
  • Diplomatic.
  • Dislikes injustice.
  • Empathetic.
  • Enthusiastic.
  • Flawed.
  • Funny.
  • Generous.
  • Good communicator.
  • Has others following them.
  • Honesty.
  • Humorous.
  • Independent.
  • Influences others.
  • Intelligent.
  • Is a Collaborator.
  • Is a Doer.
  • Is a Dreamer.
  • Is Grateful.
  • Kindness.
  • Knows when, who and why to ask for help.
  • Makes others feel comfortable.
  • Makes others laugh.
  • Motivational.
  • Non-judgemental.
  • Occasional vulnerable.
  • One-step ahead of others.
  • Open minded.
  • Optimistic.
  • Passionate.
  • Patient.
  • Positive.
  • Relaxed in new situations.
  • Self-aware.
  • Sensitive.
  • Shares their Knowledge and wisdom.
  • Sincere.
  • Stands up for the rights of others.
  • Supports & helps others.
  • Unconventional.
  • Values community.
  • Vibrant.
  • Wants a better society for all.
  • Wants others to reach their potential.
  • Willing to fight for a cause.
  • Wise.
  • Works hard.

I’m sure there’s many other qualities that could be added to the list. I also know that as well as people, many other things inspire me. Things such as music, books, films, paintings, nature, animals and expressions of love to name but a few.

What qualities do you admire in the people that inspire you? Feel free to share by leaving a comment below.

Blog soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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