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The ‘Recently, I’ve Been A Bad Blogger’ Update

By Amazon, Life, Music & Radio, TV, Online Streaming & FilmsNo Comments
imac-contact-me-large Recently, I’ve been a bad blogger. I’ve had so many things on that I’ve felt like I’m plate spinning. My daily creative play has stopped. My blogging and book reviews have stopped. But now I hope to get back to normal – whatever that is.

While I have been exceptionally busy, I have managed to listen to some new music, watch some good TV, re-watch some old films and do a bit of reading.

Musically, I’ve been enjoying Ed Sheeran’s new album X. I’m particularly fond of the first track, One. It’s sentimental and mellow. Perfect chill out music and believe me, I’ve needed to relax. I’ve had Sam Smith’s album In The Lonely Hour on repeat, appreciating the sound of his voice.

I bought Matt Fishel’s new album Cover Boy, but have to say that it was a disappointment. It was nowhere near as good as his first album Not Thinking Straight. I did like his cover of Finally, but I’m afraid that was all I liked.



I’ve watched season 2 of Under The Dome, well all but the final episode. It’s a brilliant show based on a short story by Stephen King. In Under The Dome the people of an American town are trapped under a giant dome. The plot is intricate, ever twisting and full of intrigue.

I’ve been watching the new series of Dr Who and have very mixed feelings about it. Peter Capaldi isn’t a convincing as The Doctor. Clara’s character feels a bit conflicted, not because of Mr. Pink (Danny) but because of the writing.

The Walking Dead has started again and I’m super-excited, thrilled and ecstatic during every episode. We’re only a few episodes in and it’s already my TV highlight of the week.

I’ve watched some old films like Jurassic Park 1, 2 & 3 as I love dinosaurs. In my mind, there just aren’t enough dinosaur films out there. The Adams Family 90s film has made me laugh, especially Cousin IT and thing who never fail to make me chuckle.

I’ve watched good triumph over evil through working my way through the complete collection of Harry Potter films. Mum and I are going to Harry Potter World (London) in November, so I wanted to be adequately prepared.

I got my essential hit of zombie versus kids by reading The Hunted by Charlie Higson. You can read the review I’ve wrote for The Hunted here. I felt elated reading Shopaholic to the Stars by Sophie Kinsella, which I will review soon. I’m currently reading the ridiculously funny Good Omens by legends Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman and the love story Us by David Nicholls.



I was organised enough to write two articles for The Gay UK. One for National Coming Out Day and The Gay UK‘s digital magazine entitled My Come Out Reactions. It’s people’s responses when I’ve come out as a gay to them. The other article I’ve just finished is 14 Reasons It’s Great To Be In A Relationship.

What music, TV and films are you enjoying? What literature are you reading? Anything I’d like? Leave a comment below and let me know.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Monday 27 October 2014

The Gay UK Article – My Come Out Reactions

By Creativity, Friends & Family, Gay, Journalism, LifeNo Comments
gay-world-large Some of you know that I regularly write for The Gay UK. I recently wrote an article under the theme of coming out for their Tridigital magazine (available to buy on iTunes App Store and Google Play Store) about people’s reactions when I came out gay. I enjoyed writing the article and thought you might enjoy reading it. So here it is:

I’m out to everybody. These days I rarely need to come out and say that I’m gay, but it wasn’t always like that. Over the years I’ve come out to family, friends, work colleagues and even my GP. There’s been mixed reactions from people when I’ve told them that I’m gay, but most have been positive. In this article I’ll share some of the most memorable with you.

Family
Coming out to my mum was one of the best things I ever did. I knew she would be supportive, as one of her best friend’s is gay. She acted as a proxy, telling other members of the family and family friends that I was gay so I didn’t have to. Some years later she did tell me that she was worried that I would have a more difficult life as a gay man as ‘people can be so cruel.’

The funniest reaction from a family member was when my mum told my Granddad. He told her that I ‘just haven’t met the right girl yet.’ This wasn’t homophobic, just a lack of understanding and naivety of the gay world. This naivety is wonderful and one of the many reasons I love him immensely. He used to work on the tills at what has been dubbed The Gay Sainsbury’s in Manchester. He never realised (and still hasn’t!) that all the gay couples are actually together.

When I came out to my older Brother, a sporty lads lad, he said: ‘You’re still my brother. And I still love you.’ This acceptance from him meant the world to me and it still does.

Friends
My friends and I don’t really remember me coming out. That means that it wasn’t really a big deal. It was said, accepted and then we moved on. But there’s always that one friend isn’t there? When I came out to him, he said: ‘Me too.’ We’re still friends today and our same sexuality helped to build the bonds of a lifelong friendship.

Work Colleagues
I’ve had many work colleagues over the years, all in different settings and the vast majority coming out has been done by answering the questions: ‘So how was your weekend? What did you get up to?’

However I did have one Born Again Christian work colleague who said: ‘I accept that this is how you feel, but it’s not part of gods plan. It says so in the bible.’ This was a face palm moment and I rarely spoke to him after that.

At one workplace a closeted lesbian work colleague saw the overwhelmingly positive reaction to me as an out gay man and this gave her the courage to talk about her life and her partner openly. Prior to me arriving she had avoided conversations about anything personal, but after seeing how our work colleagues reacted to my talk of gay pride and my relationships she became more open at work and seemed happier for it.

GP
I had gone to see my family GP, an older Asian man, about something and decided to disclose my sexuality to him. I think I was at the stage in coming out where you want to tell the world that you’re gay. He said: ‘it’s unnatural.’ And then resumed talking about what I had gone to see him about. This hurt. Said by a supposed non-judgemental professional. Whenever I hear someone say ‘unnatural’ it takes me right back to that consultation room and makes me feel really uncomfortable.

My coming out reactions have been in the vast majority positive. I have been accepted for who I am. But that’s not always the case. Gay people coming out face the fear of rejection, actual rejection and in some cases abuse or violence. If someone can’t accept you for who you are and recognise that your sexuality is an important part of who you are, you have to ask yourself a serious question: do you really want this person to be a part of your life? I know what my answer would be.

Blog soon,

Antony



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Thursday 2 October 2014

Import: My Come Out Reactions

By Creativity, JournalismNo Comments

I’m out to everybody. These days I rarely need to come out and say that I’m gay, but it wasn’t always like that. Over the years I’ve come out to family, friends, work colleagues and even my GP. There’s been mixed reactions from people when I’ve told them that I’m gay, but most have been positive. In this article I’ll share some of the most memorable with you.

Family
Coming out to my mum was one of the best things I ever did. I knew she would be supportive, as one of her best friend’s is gay. She acted as a proxy, telling other members of the family and family friends that I was gay so I didn’t have to. Some years later she did tell me that she was worried that I would have a more difficult life as a gay man as ‘people can be so cruel.’

The funniest reaction from a family member was when my mum told my Granddad. He told her that I ‘just haven’t met the right girl yet.’ This wasn’t homophobic, just a lack of understanding and naivety of the gay world. This naivety is wonderful and one of the many reasons I love him immensely. He used to work on the tills at what has been dubbed The Gay Sainsbury’s in Manchester. He never realised (and still hasn’t!) that all the gay couples are actually together.

When I came out to my older Brother, a sporty lads lad, he said: ‘You’re still my brother. And I still love you.’ This acceptance from him meant the world to me and it still does.

Friends
My friends and I don’t really remember me coming out. That means that it wasn’t really a big deal. It was said, accepted and then we moved on. But there’s always that one friend isn’t there? When I came out to him, he said: ‘Me too.’ We’re still friends today and our same sexuality helped to build the bonds of a lifelong friendship.

Work Colleagues
I’ve had many work colleagues over the years, all in different settings and the vast majority coming out has been done by answering the questions: ‘So how was your weekend? What did you get up to?’

However I did have one Born Again Christian work colleague who said: ‘I accept that this is how you feel, but it’s not part of gods plan. It says so in the bible.’ This was a face palm moment and I rarely spoke to him after that.

At one workplace a closeted lesbian work colleague saw the overwhelmingly positive reaction to me as an out gay man and this gave her the courage to talk about her life and her partner openly. Prior to me arriving she had avoided conversations about anything personal, but after seeing how our work colleagues reacted to my talk of gay pride and my relationships she became more open at work and seemed happier for it.

GP
I had gone to see my family GP, an older Asian man, about something and decided to disclose my sexuality to him. I think I was at the stage in coming out where you want to tell the world that you’re gay. He said: ‘it’s unnatural.’ And then resumed talking about what I had gone to see him about. This hurt. Said by a supposed non-judgemental professional. Whenever I hear someone say ‘unnatural’ it takes me right back to that consultation room and makes me feel really uncomfortable.

My coming out reactions have been in the vast majority positive. I have been accepted for who I am. But that’s not always the case. Gay people coming out face the fear of rejection, actual rejection and in some cases abuse or violence. If someone can’t accept you for who you are and recognise that your sexuality is an important part of who you are, you have to ask yourself a serious question: do you really want this person to be a part of your life? I know what my answer would be.

Published by: The Gay UK on Sunday 16th December 2014.

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Wednesday 1 October 2014

Book Review: Family Pride by Michael Shelton

By Amazon, Books & Authors, Gigs & Shows, ReviewsNo Comments
Family Pride Michael Shelton Book Cover Family Pride by Michael Shelton is written like a research article and has an extensive list reference list. Shelton highlights early on that there is a lack of representation of ethic minorities and economically disadvantaged LGBT families in the research. The book is clearly structured and styled as an educational textbook. No definition of an LGBT family is made or attempted; probably because LGBT families are so diverse in their make up and scope. Just like ‘straight’ families.

Shelton interviewed some LGBT parents and even some of their children from across America for this book. I would have enjoyed reading more of these interviews; particularly around their coping strategies for dealing with homophobia, perceived hertrosexism and subtle prejudices. I would have enjoyed reading about these LGBT families hopes for the future.

Family Pride starts with an introduction, explaining the history of gay rights movement and the extreme rightwing (anti-gay) response to this agenda. How the progress of gay rights movement has had an unintended backlash on LGBT families and put many of them in the spotlight in their communities.

I should point out, at this point, that this book is completely Americanised and lacks any international perspective. However many of the issues faced by LGBT families in America will apply to LGBT families in the UK.

Then Family Pride gives a comprehensive review of the issues LGBT families face including:

  • Internalised homophobia.
  • Stages of coming out as an LGBT to children, families and the community.
  • The facade of the perfect family.
  • Issues in schools such as the other same-sex parent not being recognised and bullying of the children by other children (and potentially some of the school staff).
  • Access and engagement with physical and mental health services.
  • The ability to access and enjoy leisure activities (including the all American Summer Camps).
  • Religious Institutions.
  • and the Police & Legal System.

In the conclusion there’s a small section dedicated to how to improve attitudes and acceptance of LGBT families, which will enable better community integration and to give LGBT families a sense of belonging.

Overall Family Pride has good, evidenced-based content. The writing style could have been more engaging and I felt that Shelton over-explained his point at times. This book is ideal for Students or Practitioners in the disciplines of Social Work, Nursing, Mental Health, Youth Work, Housing, the Police, Prison Officers and other public service institutions. It will give Students and Practitioners an awareness of the issues LGBT families face with accessing and engaging with institutions in a way that is dignified, respected and valued.

Family Pride by Michael Shelton is available to buy on Amazon.

I recently interviewed two LGBT parents for The Gay UK; so you might like to read FEATURE: Coming Out to The Kids – Paul’s Story and FEATURE: Coming Out to The Kids – Linda’s Story.

Review soon,

Antony

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Sunday 12 January 2014
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