Skip to main content
Category

Love & Relationships

All of your tick boxes

By Love & Relationships, Thinking6 Comments

When looking for a partner we all have tick boxes in our head. Qualities, traits or characteristics that we would like them to meet. Some we see as essential and others aren’t as important. Some of my tick boxes are:

  • Attractive – nice eyes, short, slim
  • Emotions – love, make me feel that certain way
  • Funny
  • Good sexual chemistry
  • Intimacy – not sex, but sensual experiences
  • Pagan – or at least interested in spirituality
  • Stimulating conversation -Pillow talk
  • Support when times are tough
  • Clear communicator
  • Romance – surprises and little efforts
  • The little things: Tea in the morning – in bed
  • Honesty
  • Knowing how to handle me, knowing how to give constructive critism or challenge me with out getting my back up
  • Keeps me in check – in terms of my little boundary pushes from time to time
  • Caring and Kindness – not just to me but to others
  • Buys good gifts
  • An optimistic
  • An creative
  • Recognise the importance of balance. The relationship VS my independent life
  • Gets on with my friends and my family
  • Can put up with my untidiness
  • Be open about Finances, share the expenses at dates (maybe I pay one time he pays the other)

    • Wow that’s a long list! What I’ve realised is that this comes from Disney. I was a Disney child brought up with stories of a princess finding her prince, who’s perfect in every way and ticked everyone of the princesses tick boxes. But that’s in an ideal and perfect world.

    Human beings by nature are imperfect and as such have created an imperfect world. So is it really realistic to expect one man to meet all of your tick boxes in your head? Human beings are also social creatures, so why can’t some of these boxes be ticked by family, friends and other loved ones?

    I think so. I am going to reflect on what I really want a man to tick and what others are currently being ticked by family, friends and others. If any are left over, I’ll have to find someone to tick them too.

    One person can’t meet all of our needs. We are social beings and as such need a number of people to meet our different needs. To expect on man to meet all of our needs is unrealistic.

    We as human beings are quite needy aren’t we? Or is it just me?

    Blog soon,

    Antony

    Share on Social Media:
    Saturday 3 October 2009

    Gravey

    By Friends & Family, Love & RelationshipsNo Comments

    The other Sunday JB and I arranged to go for Sunday dinner. He wanted pizza (or some pasta thingy) and I wanted a traditional Sunday carvery. I stated over text that we could negotiate (meaning I wanted my own way). JB being clever and diplomatic that he is, let me have my own way! So off we went for a drive and found a nice carvery in the countryside (at least it had green things sprouting out of the ground anyway).

    We had a lovely dinner although I did have an overspill of the gravy as I’d put too much on lol. It was a lovely day and on our return I had a brew at his before setting off home. I think I have started to breakdown some of the internal barriers towards him and started to become quite open about exploring what could develop between us.

    That’s all for now,

    Antony

    Share on Social Media:
    Monday 28 September 2009

    Out of Ink

    By Friends & Family, Love & RelationshipsOne Comment

    During the day before we went watching District 9 (see District 9 Film Review). GJ and I had gone shopping for a new printer he needed. At the till he was asked: “Would you like to buy any ink cartridges?” To which I answered:
    “No, it comes with them.”
    (Obiously thinking that he could get the cartidges cheaper than the £18 they were in the shop, trying to save him money!)
    “They are only starter ones. They only do about 50 pages.”
    “We’ll be fine.” I answered for him again.
    (Goddess, I’m quite very bad at that at times, when I think I’m right!)

    So I had grand plans the other night: Jaquizi bath, a good meal and chill. Then GJ texted me, stating his printer had run out of ink! I felt really bad, so offered to pick him up and take him back to mine to complete the printing for him. He kept saying it wasn’t my fault but I felt guilty. He needed the work the following morning and it was too late for him to go anywhere and buy any.

    I scoffed a quick tea down and picked him up. It was lovely to see him. I don’t quite know why, but I have a lot of positive regard for him. We have previously been out (see An update on men and Men, he was called the friendly ex in these posts). I guess I still have some feelings for him, especially after our recent conversation (see District 9 Film Review).

    My love life seems to be getting more and more confusing and more and more complicated. Yet, I have had the honest conversation about staying friends with them both. What’s going on?

    Blog soon (hopefully less confused),

    Antony

    Share on Social Media:
    Saturday 19 September 2009

    Tastilious Food with a BUT…

    By Friends & Family, Love & RelationshipsOne Comment

    JB came round the other night and cooked me an absoluately delious, tastilious meal. We had Chicken, Potatoes, Veg, nicely covered with gravey. The meal was great as was the conversation. After the meal we sat on the couch with a brew chatting, he put his hand on my leg. I felt uncomfortable, but tried not to show it.

    We had a good time reading to one another off the internet and exchanging views on a variety of topics. (You know what I’m like, I’ll share my views to anyone that’ll listen!)

    He left late, but before he departed he leaned in to kiss me. I responded by leaning it towards his cheek, but he moved his lips to mine. Another uncomfortable moment. I can not explain where this uncomfortableness came from, all I know is that’s how I felt.

    Sigh. I know I am lucky to have the attention of a man especially one that’s good looking, has a good dress sense and can hold a conversation.

    But, I dunno. You can’t help how you feel can you? If only we could control our feelings.

    What makes it worse is that he’s been texting me loads and quite some future orintated stuff. As if we were a couple. Something boy friends would text to one another. I don’t feel we are that close. Sigh. I have text him back telling to slow down, but as Mike commented on Cards on the table I do feel pressured. I’ve told him this too.

    What to do? I guess, let it flow for a while.

    Write soon,

    Antony x

    Share on Social Media:
    Sunday 13 September 2009
    ×