Read the full FREE article here.
Blog soon,
Antony
I have found my next future husband, the gorgeous Jonathan Bailey:
Write soon,
Antony
Tuesday 28 January 2025
Loss leads to a grieving process. I feel like my vasculitis diagnosis and accompanying symptoms have led to a loss of a quality of life, as well as a shorter life expectancy than I had expected. So I’m currently grieving.
I’ve done the denial and shock stages of grief, but am currently struggling with the anger and depression stages.
Anger is a weird one. I’m not angry at a person or God, but I’m angry with the whole way this universe works. It feels unfair and even though I know logically that life isn’t always fair, I’m still angry about it. Anger isn’t something I experience often and it is one of those feelings that for me is uncomfortable. I’m rarely ever angry so my resilence to tolerating this emotion is quite low, as are my coping strategies for dealing with it.
Depression on the other hand is bunch of feelings that I’m far too familiar with due to having bipolar. Hoplessness, a lack of joy, physical/mental exhaustion, I could go on, but I won’t.
These feelings of anger and depression are a normal part of the grieving process. I know that. But it doesn’t make them any easier to deal with. I’m struggling to cope, so I’ve referred myself for some counselling. I know there’s really no solution to these feelings, they are not a problem or a puzzle to be solved, they have to be experienced, in order to move on to the acceptance stage.
Right now I’m focusing on being patient and kind to everyone – including myself, so that I don’t inflict any harm on anyone because of how I am feeling.
I am acutely aware that my last few blog posts haven’t been positive. But I suppose that’s to be expected when you’re grieving.
Write soon,
Antony
Saturday 29 June 2024
On Tuesday of this week, I was invited down to the hospital where I was having Nasal Surgery for a CT Scan. The CT Scan was successfully undertaken.
Two weeks before the surgery they did a blood test that indicates if vasculitis is a possibility and it was positive.
Today, after a sleepless night, filled with worry and which resulting in me writing a very short For The Unlikely Event of My Death letter, I had nasal surgery.
You may be pleased to read that I survived the general anesthetic. I’m counting this as just about the only win of the day.
They completed a nasal wash out and took several biopsies. They are 99% sure the damage has vasculitis, which is a rare and particularly aggressive autoimmune disease.
The nasal damage, vasculitis, the worry and stress are all having a negative impact on my diabetes.
So the current plan is:
- An urgent referral to a vasculitis Consultant that will see me with 2 weeks.
- A Chest X-Ray completed today to check for signs of vasculitis in my lungs.
- A review by ENT Consultant in 3-4 weeks, to look at biopsy results and with a view to repairing the damage once the vasculitis is well managed.
- Long term steroids (Prednisolone) to help manage the vasculitis.
- An urgent referral to Dieticians to go through Carb Counting, in preparation for looking at getting an insulin pump to better manage my diabetes. Vasculitis, steroids, nasal damage, stress and anxiety will make managing my diabetes more difficult as they all increase blood sugar levels. So an insulin pump linked to a blood sugar sensor seems the way to go with this.
- To have a telephone review by the Diabetes Specialist Nurse in 2 weeks and to look at getting a preparation for pump appointment.
- A review by the Mental Health Team in a few weeks to look at the possibility of starting lithium as my bipolar symptoms are getting worse and other medications I’ve tried have too severe side effects.
- Anything else I may have missed off this list.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the influx of very kind messages, wishing me well and enquiring how surgery went. I have been overwhelmed from the responses on both social media and private messages. Please forgive me if I have not replied to you individually yet.
I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted right now and there’s obviously a lot of information to process, a lot going on and a lot to do.
Write soon,
Antony
Friday 3 May 2024
About
Antony Simpson - Author, Blogger, Nurse & Witch.
Author of eight books.
Categories
Amazon
Antony Simpson is a participant in the Amazon EU Associates Programme, an affiliate advertising programme designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.co.uk.