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Antony

5 Years Ago Today

By Friends & Family, ThinkingNo Comments
coloured-helium-balloons

(Image From: Pinterest.)

 Five years ago today, at just eighteen years old my younger brother had a heart attack and died. Two weeks later he was laid to rest among a sea of bright colours. We wanted his funeral to be a celebration of life, particularly his life, rather than a dark recognition of his death. He loved bright colours – so we asked people to wear them to his funeral and they did.

He once said that he was popular, we didn’t realise just how true this was. People came in their numbers, many more than expected. The church pews filled and many people had to stand up at the back of the church.

We continue this celebration of his life today. Later we will send brightly coloured helium balloons into the night’s sky, complete with written messages to him tacked onto the ribbon of the balloons.

To me, sometimes it feels like an eternity since Alex’s death. Sometimes it feels as though it happened yesterday. Sometimes I forget that it’s happened at all, then something will trigger my memory and my heart is flooded with the pain caused by his death.

At one time I avoided any photos of Alex. I avoided anyone one who reminisced, sharing a memory of Alex. I found photos and shared memories uncomfortable, as they reminded me of the truth of his death.

But as the years have passed, I’ve started to deal with the loss. I’ve realised that death is death. But grief is disbelief, not understanding and pain. Grief is a mystical thing, one that is variable and changes everyday.

Now, today, I can look at a photo of Alex with a smile. I can remember a happy memory and even share it with others. It’s taken five years, and I’m still working on it. But maybe the passage of time has allowed some acceptance within my heart. So here is a photo of him:

My Darling Baby Brother

My Darling Baby Brother

Blog soon,

Antony

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Wednesday 13 January 2016

Book Review: Life And Other Near-Death Experiences by Camille Pagan

By Amazon, Books & Authors, ReviewsNo Comments
life-and-other-near-death-experiences-book-cover-camille-pagan Imagine that you go to the doctors and are told that you have a rare form of cancer, one that’s terminal. Then imagine going home to seek the solace of your husband, only for him to drop his own bombshell – that he’s been seeing a therapist and thinks that he might be gay. This is exactly what happens to Elizabeth (better known as Libby) Miller in Life And Other Near-Death Experiences by Camille Pagan.

Tom, Libby’s husband drops the I might be gay bombshell before she has chance to tell him about her cancer. So naturally her first reaction is to stab him with a fork. Libby encourages him to leave for his own safety and he obliges.

Then Libby makes some radical decisions: she quits her job working as a PA to nightmare boss Jackie, she puts the apartment up for sale and she speaks to Paul, her twin brother to get some advice about how much money she would need to live on for a year. Next she tells Tom of her intention to divorce him, knowing that she’ll probably not live long enough to go through the snail-paced legal process.

Libby knows cancer intimately. She watched it slowly take her mother from her, her brother and her father. Making her motherless at ten years old. So Libby decides not to tell anyone about her diagnosis.

After hearing about Tom and the divorce Libby’s father calls her. Libby talks about an idea she has to go to Mexico. Her father discourages her because that’s where Tom and she went on their honeymoon. Her father shares a memory he has of her mother and he going to Puerto Rico. He tells Libby that her mother loved it there. Libby decides to go there instead.

Libby has her first near-death experience getting to Puerto Rico on a small plane piloted by the sexy Shiloh. On the Island, Libby discovers what it is to live, fall in love and experience every moment fully.

Libby’s character is funny, feisty and fantastic. Pagan writes the story from Libby’s perspective and in doing so creates a character that oozes depth and realism. It’s not just Libby’s character that has depth and realism, so does love interest Shiloh, twin brother Paul (whom happens to be gay and is married to a man with two children) and all other characters.

Life And Other Near-Death Experiences is fast paced, has a fascinating plot, has beautiful description and is packed with dark humour. Pagan should be commended on this superb and captivating novel.

You can buy Life And Other Near-Death Experiences by Camille Pagan on Amazon and I highly recommend that you do. You’ll love this thoroughly entertaining read.

Review soon,

Antony

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Sunday 10 January 2016

Prison Architect: Alex’s Name in the Game

By Friends & Family, GamesNo Comments

I’ve been a supporter of Prison Architect since the pre-alpha. Prison Architect is a game in which you build, manage and maintain a prison. The Player manages every aspect of the prison including: the staff, the prisoners, the routine, the rehabilitation programmes etc. Here is a trailer for Prison Architect:

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The more I played Prison Architect, the more I thought of Alex, my deceased younger brother and that he would have loved the game. So I bought a pre-alpha package that allowed me to put his Name in the Game as a Prisoner. Here he is:

pa-name-in-the-game-alex-jc-simpson

Alex’s Name in the Game (Click image for full size)

I got to choose what the character looked like – I opted for brown spiky hair, the character’s date of birth – I put Alex’s in and option to write a short bio for the Prisoner Alex ‘JC’ Simpson. Here’s what I wrote, mainly intending to be funny:

“Alex ‘JC’ Simpson is a notorious criminal in his region of origin. Manipulative, clever and cunning. Never completely take your eyes off him. Has a long history of crime, dating back to when he was born. He says ‘The Feds have got nothing on me.'”

I like to think he would have liked to be Named in the Game. It’s coming up to five years since he passed away and I still think of him everyday.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Saturday 9 January 2016

Book Review: According to Yes by Dawn French

By Books & Authors, Reviews3 Comments
dawn-french-according-to-yes-book-cover According to Yes felt like experimental writing gone wrong. The plot was completely implausible and lead to an ending that felt impossible and unbelievable.

In According to Yes, Rosie Kitto joins the uber strict Wilder-Bingham household as Nanny to grandchildren Three, Red and Teddy. Kemble, their father is going through a difficult divorce, made more difficult by the custody demands of Glenn, his controlling and overbearing mother. Grandfather Thomas keeps quiet to keep the peace.

Rosie’s character is the opposite of what the family are used to. She’s unconventional, loves bright colours and has decided to live life according to Yes. Rosie inspires Three and Red. Unfortunately Rosie doesn’t stop there.

Rosie’s character is a complex mix of conflicting thoughts and feelings. This gave Rosie a feeling of realness and depth. It’s clear from the first page that Rosie is running away from something that has caused her great pain. To the reader Rosie is admirably flawed, but her actions are completely over-the-top and unrealistic. These over-the-top moments felt forced and for the benefit of a unbelievable and poorly thought out storyline. Most unbelievable in the storyline were Rosie’s sexual indiscretions.

French switches perspectives throughout According to Yes and it works really well. There are some wonderfully well written scenes. French describes scenes fantastically and got the pacing spot on. French did miss the opportunity write from the perspectives of Three and Red.

French has a gay character in this novel. It was just such a shame that the character had to be struggling with his sexuality and in being honest about it with himself and others. This particular character felt two-dimensional and his growth was neglected by French. This opinion might be slightly coloured by the fact that recently I’ve read quite a few stories with characters that are gay. All these characters have been tormented by their sexuality, rather than celebrating who they are. And all of these characters have seemed to follow the same pattern of destroying their life and the lives of those around them. Not great role models for people who are gay. Gay people finally get into mainstream fictional literature and all are portrayed as this tormented soul, with little else to offer.

Overall According to Yes is a mixed bag. Good description and use of perspective, but with fundamental problems with plot.

Review soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Friday 8 January 2016
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