The Gay UK – Page 5 – Antony Simpson – Author, Blogger, Nurse & Witch.

Import: 5 Pagan Origins of Christmas

By AntonyJournalism, PaganismNo Comments

Christmas is a Christian festival, but a lot of its traditions originate from the older pagan festival of Yule. Yule or the Winter Solstice is on 21st December; it is the shortest day and longest night in year. From this point on days will begin to get longer. Pagans come together celebrate the return of the sun or re-birth of the sun God.

Lets have a look at 5 Christmas traditions and discover their pagan origins:

1. The Christmas tree

The evergreen Christmas tree started with the pagans. They saw evergreen as symbolic of the eternal cycles of nature: birth, life, death and re-birth. The re-birth always being seen as a result of the sun’s return.

I remember decorating the Christmas tree when I was little. My mum would let me and my brothers decorate one side of the tree and then put that side against the wall. Or she’d let us decorate it and then strategically move all of the decorations to where she wanted them to be, before visitors began to arrive. As we got older, she simply refused to let us decorate the tree at all. Did anybody else’s mum do that, or was it just mine?

The decorations, like the round babuls in colours of red and yellow and the lights (before electricity candles were used) are all seen by pagans as representations of the sun God.

Christmas Presents

2. The Presents

Pagans gave presents long before Christian’s came along, but on New Years Day rather than at Yule. The presents were often small and symbolic of a blessing for the year ahead.

Christian’s didn’t start giving presents until relatively recently. In Britain due to poverty and culture, Christmas presents didn’t commonplace until around the Victorian Era. There are records of wealthy people giving presents before then, but it was only some people and these were the upper classes of society.

(Image Credit: Paula McManus @ Flickr)

3. Father Christmas

Father Christmas or Santa goes back to the Christian Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas had a reputation for secret gift giving to children and for valuing children greatly.

But what show his pagan roots are the colours of his archetypal dress. When I think of Father Christmas, I think of Miracle on 34th Street. I imagine the scene in which Kris is putting on his suit for the first time. His red suit with white trim, black belt with golden buckle, his black boots and of course his red hat. These colours: red, white and gold are all associated with the pagan sun god, who is believed to be re-born on Yule.

(Image Credit: Sandlewood19 @ Flickr)

4. Kissing Under The Mistletoe

This time of year, mistletoe always seems to find it’s way to the office Christmas party. Hung in some precarious doorway, it can lead to an awkward moment of avoiding eye contact and pretending you’ve not seen it or to a drunken Christmas snog with the hottie from the IT Department.

Mistletoe’s pagan origins are as a symbol of fertility. Yule was a festival of fertility, by the very nature of it being the festival were the life-giving sun God is re-born. Often pagan’s would give mistletoe to those wanting to conceive.

(Image Credit: Steve Bird @ Flickr)

5. The Humble Robin

Every year I receive at least one Christmas card with the humble robin on. His pagan associations come from his striking reddy orange chest, a symbol of the sun and also in his ability to fly. His ability to fly means that he can leave and then return, very much like the sun God.

There you have it, 5 Christmas Christian traditions that originated from paganism. It’s not just Christmas that has pagan roots, Christian festivals throughout the year have pagan traditions and elements integrated into them.

Have a great Christmas or Yule, whichever you choose to call it and whatever religious belief system (or not) is.

Published by: The Gay UK on Tuesday 24th December 2013.

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Tuesday 24 December 2013

Import: Stay Safe over Christmas with the iSurvive App

By AntonyCreativity, Journalism, TechnologyNo Comments

iSurvive App

The Christmas party season is upon us! We all want to have a good time; but we need to make sure that we’re safe to (and I don’t just mean condoms). Tom Hunt and his team have developed an App to help you out, appropriately named iSurvive.

iSurvive has two modes: Attack and Accident. It allows you to send a pre-written emergency text to up to three of your contacts in three quick taps, to let them know you’ve been attacked or had an accident with your GPS location and a Google Maps link.

iSurvive also has a one touch ‘call international Emergency Services’ (112) button, a quick and easy way to find your current location, the ability to turn a flashlight on, use the Flash as an SOS flashing signal and even convert text into a flashing custom Morse Coded signal.

If you move after sending the text, when your contacts click the link they get a real time update of your current location. These updates continue, until you deactivate the app at the end of the emergency situation.

The App was inspired by an event that happened two years ago in the UK, in which someone was reported missing. The Police eventually used the missing person’s mobile phone signal to track them down but it was too late. The victim had been abducted, murdered and left in a remote forest location.

If you’re being attacked and the attacker is trying to get you to cancel the alert in the App you can enter a fake code and it will appear to them that you’ve cancelled it. But in reality it will continue to transmit your location to your three contacts. How realistic it is that the attacker would try and force you to deactivate the alert, rather than smash up your mobile is questionable.

There are a lot of great customizable options on this App including: the pre-written messages, who they are sent to, the ability to type a detailed message to your chosen contacts and the deactivation texts.

If you or someone else kills the App the alert continues to be active, until you fully deactivate it yourself. iSurvive is FREE to download from 14th-28th December 2013, after this is reasonably priced at 99p.

Of course an App alone isn’t going to completely safe. You need to take some sensible steps yourself, such as: knowing your alcohol tolerance limit, staying with friends, not going home/off on your own, carrying emergency money, keep hold of your drink and in the event of an attack attracting as much attention as you can.

Have a great & safe Christmas.

Published by: The Gay UK on Friday 20th December 2013.

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Thursday 19 December 2013

Import: The History of Marriage in the UK

By AntonyCreativity, Gay, JournalismNo Comments

In this article we look at the history of marriage in the UK. Our history starts at 410AD, as before this time there were no written records of the history of marriage. Before written records, history was past down orally from the older generation to the younger one, unfortunately over time this oral history has been lost.

410AD – The Anglo-Saxons and Other Tribal Groups
For many people marriage is strongly associated with religion, but this wasn’t always the case. Straight marriages at this time were about peace and prosperity rather than religion. Marriages encouraged good diplomatic relations and the development of trade between two (or more) tribal groups.

It was the fathers who decided who their daughters married and the wishes of the couple were seen as irrelevant.

(Image Credit: Andrew Brooks @ Flickr)

12th Century – Consent
In 1140 Decretum Grantiani wrote a canon textbook were he introduced the concept of verbal consent to straight marriage and the requirement for a couple to consummate their union to validate their marriage.

In the 12th century the Roman Catholic Church made verbal consent and consummation necessary for the church to view the straight marriage as legitimate. Some Roman Catholic writers at the time also describe marriage as a spiritual experience tied to God’s presence. While this is not surprising, prior to this very little mention of marriage as a spiritual experience.

(Image Credit: Stuart Wrightson @ Flickr)

1549 – The Vows
The tradition of vows came from Thomas Cranmer’s Book of Common Prayer. Although the book was updated later on, many of Thomas Cranmer’s words are still used in religious ceremonies today.

These vows laid the foundation for how the Roman Catholic & Protestant churches viewed straight marriage at the time as: a partnership.

Thomas Cranmer must have reflected the views of the mainstream population about marriage at the time; otherwise it would have been unlikely that the church institutions would have accepted and taken on these views.

Roman Catholic Priests at this time were still delivering marriage ceremonies (as all other religious services) in Latin.

However, the Protestant’s began delivering their services in the English language. This is significant as English was the common language and this change made marriage ceremonies (as well as all other religious services) accessible to all.

Today, Protestantism is one the most popular religions practiced in the UK. Many historians believe that changing the ceremonies to English played a huge part in making Protestantism a dominant religion.

1563 – Sacramental Marriage
The Roman Catholic Church officially declared that straight marriage was one of the seven sacraments in this year; meaning that it was something undertaken in the presence of god. The other sacraments are: Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Communion, Confession, Ordination and Last Rites.

The Protestant Church didn’t see straight marriage as a sacrament at this time.

1753 – State Involvement
The Clandestine Marriage Act (1753) set out what the state expected in order for a straight marriage to be seen as legal. It required the couple to get married in a church by a minister and issue a formal marriage announcement or to obtain a marriage license.

1836 – Civil Marriages
In 1836 it became legal for straight couples to get civil marriages, which were generally held in Register Offices. This was to accommodate both the religious and nonreligious.

For the religious it meant that they could get married in a neutral place, if for some reason they couldn’t get married in their church. For the nonreligious it gave them a place void of religion. Prior to this, nonreligious straight couples had to go through a ceremony in a church and undertake practices & traditions that they didn’t believe in.

In 1837 the civil registration of straight marriages started.

1837 – It’s All About Straight Love
Between 1837-1901 it was the Victorian Era. It is said by contemporary historians that the Victorian Era is when marriage became about love, but still only the love between a man and a women. Gay people weren’t treated well in the Victorian Era in the UK, with laws against sexual acts.

(Image Credit: Nik Mortimer @ Flickr)

Oscar Wilde – widely regarded as one of the most talented writers of all time; was accused of sodomy by the father of his male lover. He lost the trial and was sent to prison. It was rumored that he could have escaped to France, but he didn’t. Once he’d served his sentence, he moved to France.

Left: Oscar Wilde’s grave in France, covered in Graffiti by gay people from across the world.

(Image Credit: melbelleinsc @ Flickr)

1858 – Divorce
Between the 17th – 19th Centuries there were 300 cases of people wanting to end their marriages. The only way to do this was for an Act of Parliament for each marriage, as there was no accommodation for divorce in marriage law. So in 1858 the government of the time finally made divorce a legal process.

The legal process that meant those who wanted or needed a divorce could have one. But it also signified a shift in the focus of marriage from being a lifetime commitment – for better or worse, to a commitment that could be changed if life’s circumstances changed.

19th Century – Birth Control
By the 19th Century, both the Roman Catholic and Protestant Church’s had promoted procreation as the main reason for straight marriage. But as more children survived childhood, families got bigger and there was a need to use some form of contraception.

In the 1930s the Protestant Church accepted contraception, viewing it as necessary and not a sin or something God would be unhappy with. But the Roman Catholic Church has remained against any form of contraception, as they continue to see the procreation of children as a fundamental aspect of straight marriage.

(Image Credit: Viviana Hurtado @ Flickr)

2005 – Civil Partnerships
In 2005 the first gay civil partnerships took place, a year after The Civil Partnership Act came into law.

It allowed gay people to have legally recognised relationships, which granted them the same rights, protections and benefits of a married straight couple. This included legal rights, such as being one another’s Next of Kin; rights related to their partner’s children and the benefits including those of taxation reductions.

In terms of the actual act, the gay couple could have a civil partnership ceremony that could consist of anything they wanted (within the law). This could be vows, the exchange of rings, their choice in music, etc.

The Civil Partnership Act included a legal process for those gay people who may want to end their civil partnership. It is called ‘dissolution’ and works on similar legal principles to divorce.

This was the first time that the state in the UK legally recognised gay relationships. In the first five there were 42,778 gay civil partnerships.

Peter Tatchell (Gay Rights Activist) as well as others criticised The Civil Partnership Act, saying that it wasn’t complete equality as it excluded straight people from being able to be civil partners.

(Image Credit: Gary Dunne @ Flickr)

2013 – Gay Marriage
This year The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act has been passed in England and Wales. The first gay marriages are expected in March 2014.

Stonewall said of The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act:

‘This is an historic moment for lesbian, gay and bisexual people, their families and their friends. This Act will mean that, for the first time, children growing up to be gay in England and Wales will have full equality in law. We can now proudly claim to be a beacon to the world for gay equality.’

In ancient history marriage had nothing to do with religion, but helped tribes to live and thrive together. Then Christian institutions (both Roman Catholic & Protestant Churches) influenced the definition and meaning of marriage. In the last century the state has got involved for marriage, allowing marriage to be more flexible and much more inclusive.

Marriage as a concept has evolved to meet the needs and desires of society. Currently there is some debate as to what role the churches and state play within marriage. It is likely that over the next century the Churches will continue to reside over the spiritual aspect of marriage, whereas the state will continue to be involved with the legal and administrative side of marriage.

Antony Simpson, Writer of this article would like to acknowledge the following sources that supported putting together this article based on fact:

BBC – Ten key moments in the history of marriage
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17351133

Office for National Statistics – Civil Partnerships Five Years On
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/…rd/…/ard-pt145-civil-partnerships.pdf‎

Office for National Statistics – Video Summary: What does the Census tell us about religion in 2011?
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/census/2011-census/detailed-characteristics-for-local-authorities-in-england-and-wales/video-summary-religion.html

Peter Tatchell – A setback for equality
http://www.petertatchell.net/lgbt_rights/partnerships/Straight-civil-partnerships-defeated.htm

Stonewall – Equal Marriage to become law – Thank You!
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/what_we_do/parliamentary/5714.asp

Stonewall – Get Hitched! A Guide to Civil Partnership
http://www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/get_hitched_a_guide_to_civil_partnership_english_3.pdf

Published by: The Gay UK Feb/March 2014 Magazine (priced £1.49)

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Sunday 15 December 2013

Import: 14 Tips to Beat Bullying

By AntonyLifeNo Comments

This month it’s been anti-bullying month here at The Gay UK. Bullying takes many forms: Name-calling, making negative comments on your work, making someone feel worthless, physical abuse are just some examples.

So we’ve put some tips together to help anyone out there who might be being bullied. It doesn’t matter if you’re being bullied at school, college, university, work or home.

Remember if you are being bullied remember it’s not your fault.

Write Everything Down
Keep a log of every incident; write down the date, time, location, what happened, what they said and any witnesses that were around.

Tell Someone
Tell someone in authority and ask them what they intend to do about it. Tell them any fears you have about reprisals from the bully.

Someone you trust, like a family member or friend can also be useful. It means that you’re not dealing with the problem on your own; a problem shared is a problem halved.

Get Support
Don’t try to deal with it and your feelings about it all on your own. Get some support. Consider counselling for some additional support around your feelings.

Know Your Rights
All educational settings have anti-bullying policies. Some employers have these as well. Even if your employer doesn’t they will have Equality & Diversity Policies as well as other relevant policies. Read them.

There will also be procedures for investigating and dealing with bullying – so have a look at these as well.

Know your rights. Nobody has a right to bully another. Make authority figures aware that you know you’re rights.

Don’t Let It Get To You
Try to not let the things the bully says or does get to you. Bullies bully for a variety of reasons, but it’s always about their issues, not yours.

Try Not To Show A Reaction or Smile
Don’t let the bully see that they are getting to you. To do this, try to give them no reaction or smile. You know that phrase: Smile – it confuses people.

Walk With Confidence
Use your body language to make you look larger. Stand with your legs apart, your back straight and your chest pushed out slightly. Have your arms slightly away from your body and loose by your sides. Head up as you walk looking straight ahead. This does take a bit of practice, but try practicing in front of a full-length mirror. Believe it or not, this is how most bullies walk.

When we see someone walk like this, especially a bully, we do the opposite with our body language. We make ourselves as small as possible including hunching our back, pulling our arms in close and looking down at the ground. Try to remember to keep this confident body language, even when you see the bully.

The only time to avoid using body language to make you look larger is in the event of a physical assault. In that case, have your side to the perpetrator, as this will give them less of a target. In the event of a physical assault, get yourself out of the situation as soon as you can and to a place of safety.

Remember nobody has the right to be violent towards you; likewise you don’t have the right to be violent towards anyone else. All physical assaults should be reported to the Police.

If It’s CyberBullying
If the bully is sending you messages, texts, images and videos, keep them all. Don’t respond to any messages and make good use of privacy settings. Block/Ignore the bully and report them to the social media provider. If the messages get particularly abusive report them to the Police (this is why you need to keep all the messages as evidence).

Take Sensible Steps To Keep Yourself Safe
Keep yourself safe by carrying a mobile phone, personal attack alarm and being aware of your surroundings. Never walk home on your own and always try to stay with someone when travelling around the setting were you come into contact with the bully.

Involve The Police
Any violence or physical assault should be reported to the Police.

If the bullying is homophobic or racist in nature you can report it to the Police as a hate crime. Hate crime also covers bullying that is related to disability religion, ethnicity or transgender identify. Find out more about hate crimes on the True Vision website.

Come up with Good Coping Strategies
We all have different coping strategies. Some good ones are: taking up sports or martial arts (these are particularly empowering and you learn to defend yourself as well), talking to people, expressing how you feel creatively (e.g. writing, music, drawing, making movies, etc.). All of these activities also raise your confidence and self esteem – something that bullies try to damage or destroy.

Avoid Drugs & Alcohol as a Coping Strategy
There is research that links drugs and alcohol misuse to bullying as a coping strategy. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to cope with the bullying. It might make you forget or feel happier in the very short term (for the night), but the next day the bullying often seems much bigger problem.

Know that It Gets Better
Bullying is a massive issue. Many people get bullied. Remember that the situation you’re in now wont last forever. There will be a time that the bullying will stop.

Avoid Becoming The Bully
There’s some research that shows that some people who have been bullied, later become bullies. Don’t let it happen, you’re better than that! Remember how it felt to be bullied. If you’re in a position to safely stand up to a bully that’s bullying someone else – do.

If you’re affected by bullying please check out our resources page for further help and support.

Published by: The Gay UK on Saturday 30th November 2013.

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Wednesday 20 November 2013

Import: 5 Pagan Origins of Christmas

Import: Stay Safe over Christmas with the iSurvive App

Import: 14 Tips to Beat Bullying

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