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The Cycle of Life

By Life, ThinkingNo Comments

Life is a cycle. It has stages or distinct periods, associated with age and these ages are also associated with key events. Everyone who lives a full life cycle will goes through each of these stages. They are:

cycle-of-life-diagram-by-Antony-Simpson

The Cycle of Life Diagram by myself.

Prebirth
There is some debate between Scientists, Doctors, Religious Leaders and Philosophers about when human life actually begins. Some say it begins at conception or fertilisation (generally most Religious Leaders), whereas Scientists and Doctors in the UK state that human life begins once a fertilised egg has implanted its self into the uterus wall, based on medical research and legal judgements.

Whichever you believe to be correct, this stage of life goes from 0-40 weeks. In this time you grow from a single cell into an embryo (from day four of fertilisation to week eight of pregnancy) and then into a foetus (from week eight of pregnancy till birth). Your mother will go through the three trimesters of pregnancy. You will be called a baby from birth.

Birth
You come into this world as a baby that is fully dependent on your mother, father and/or other carers to meet your needs for: milk, hygiene, warmth, sleep, safety, stimulation and love (emotional attachment and bonding). This is a period of rapid physical growth.

By 3-6 months old you will need to be weaned on to solid foods to satisfy your hunger and to give you enough nutrients to continue this rapid period of growth. Between 6-9 months old you will begin exploring your environment by crawling.

By 1 year old you begin to walk and enter into the infancy stage of your life cycle.

Infancy
In this stage you learn through exploration and play. This stage is usually between the ages of 1 to 5.You develop in all sorts of ways including:

  • Physically – you continue to grow, develop gross and fine motor skills.
  • Cognitively – you develop your ability to solve basic problems and begin to develop your imagination.
  • Language – You learn to communicate verbally through speech. You will go from knowing a handful of words to hundreds.
  • Socially – You learn to parallel play, share and social rules.
  • Emotionally – You learn to identify what you feel and eventually to emotionally regulate yourself.
  • Moral – You begin to notice what is perceive as right and wrong.

In infancy, a significant phase for most parents or carers is the terrible twos. To call it the terrible twos is a bit deceptive though, as it starts from around 18 months and can carry on until the infant is 2 and a half years old.

You say ‘No’ often and temper tantrum if you don’t get your way. In the terrible twos you are learning what the boundaries are, what you can get away with and how to regulate your feelings of frustration and anger when you don’t get what you want.

Childhood
Personality begins to develop in childhood, including likes and dislikes. Childhood starts at around 5 years old and ends around 12 years old (its ending being marked by the beginning of puberty – see Adolescence below).

As well as your personality developing, you become much less dependent on your parents or carers for your basic needs. You start structured learning at school, which leads to a more structured way of thinking. But conversely you are able to think abstractly.

You increase the number social relationships you have by making friends. You continue to grow – both physically and intellectually and continue to develop new skills. You may master some of these new skills. You have thing that pique your curiosity and things that don’t. You have passions and interests.

Adolescence
The stage of adolescence or the teenage years starts around 12-13 years old and lasts until around 18-20 years old. The end of childhood and beginning of adolescence is marked by the start of puberty.

In adolescence your body and brain are going through massive changes. These changes mean that you need more sleep and may well be found sleeping in till midday or later.

In the body, high levels of hormones rage creating physical changes, increasing emotional intensity and a fierce need for independence. The emotional intensity explains why you are more likely to be rebellious in your thinking and actions as an adolescent.

If you’re a male physical changes include: body hair grows (public, underarm, facial & legs), voice breaks – becoming deeper, Adam’s apple becomes prominent, acne, penis growth, lowering of testis lower, growing taller and broader.

If you’re female physical changes include: growth of breasts, menstrual cycle, body hair grows (public, underarm & legs), acne, weight gain, change of body shape and growing taller.

In the brain, hormones make you more likely to act on impulse and take risks. This explains why you are more likely to try alcohol and/or drugs in adolescence.

Both the body and brain make you aware of those you feel sexually attracted to. You notice them. You want to get to know them and ultimately you want to have sex with them. You may start to have sexual and/or romantic relationships.

Your thinking is egocentric – you are only or mostly concerned about you. This egocentric thinking explains a lot of your thinking and behaviour including why you are so concerned about how you look.

Puberty takes around 4 years from the early signs to completion. As well as all the puberty changes, you have the pressures of high school including peer groups and exams.

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Early Adulthood
18-40 years old is the Early Adulthood stage of the cycle of life. Adults are physically fully grown and must use the life skills that they acquired in earlier stages to fend for themselves. In these few short years a lot happens in life.

You may move out of home, you may go to college and/or university, you may learn to drive a car, you go out into the world of work and start your career, you may make a commitment to a partner through marriage, you may end a relationship through divorce, you may buy your own home, you may have children of your own, you may travel, you may become more involved in community activities.

You feel enthusiastic about making your mark on the world. You continue to develop your passions and interests. Days, months and years pass quickly by at this stage of your life. You have little time to contemplate your life and the past choices you have made that have lead you to where you are.

Middle Age
Contemplation is the keyword in middle age, which starts around 45 years old till around 65 years old. Physical signs of ageing are present and women will have gone through menopause by the end of this stage. People talk about having a midlife crisis in this stage.

You think about your life and if you are happy with it or not. You may feel that your life is stale and stagnant. This contemplation can cause you to make major changes in your life. However you may be perfectly content with your life and choose to continue on without making any major changes.

In this stage of your life you may need to care for your now elderly parents. You will have attended christenings, birthdays, weddings and funerals. You will have met and know people at all stages of the cycle of life.

Late Adulthood
Retirement from work will have occurred by the time a person reaches late adulthood. Late adulthood is a stage for people aged 65-75 years old. By this point they have got a wealth of wisdom as a result of life experiences.

You physically and mentally begin to slow down. You have great wisdom from a lifetime of experience and regularly replay memories from your past.

End of Life
At the end of life the reflection continues. Most people will be 76+ years old. If people are happy with their life, they will feel satisfaction. However some people may have regrets.

People regret things like: not spending enough time with family and friends, not being the best parent/grandparent that they could have been, not having taken enough risks and playing it safe.

You will think about your life. You will ask yourself if you spent enough time with loved ones, if you did good enough, if you’re happy with your life up to now.

Death
According to The Office of National Statistics the average life expectancy for a man is 79 years old and for a woman 83 years old, so death comes between 79-83 years old for most.

Your family and friends will grief for the loss of you in their lives. Hopefully they will celebrate your life as well.

Rebirth
Rebirth hasn’t been scientifically proven at this point. But several religions and spiritual paths believe in reincarnation or rebirth. This is where you would be reborn either as another human or as an animal after death.

Even more fascinating is that some religions and spiritual paths even believe that it is your choice to be reincarnated or remain on an astral/spiritual/energy-based plane of existence.

The Future
A healthier lifestyle including: a good diet, regular exercise, not smoking, not drinking alcohol, not misusing substances, working/living in better environments with conditions that promote good health; along with ever-improving healthcare and technology will extend the life cycles of current and future people.

This extended life cycle will mean that some of the ages people enter the stated stages in this article will be incorrect in the future.

Blog soon,

Antony

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Book Review: Carrie by Stephen King

By Amazon, Books & Authors, ReviewsNo Comments
carrie-stephen-king-book-cover
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Carrie was Stephen King’s first jaunt into novel writing, originally published in 1974.

Carrie is a brilliant thriller, featuring an essentially damaged teenage girl with telekinetic (the ability to move objects with the mind) abilities.

Carrie White is the outsider at school. She’s always the butt of the joke.

Carrie’s home life isn’t much better with her Christian Fundamentalist mother. Her mother is physically and emotionally abusive, she thinks practically everything is sin. She regularly locks Carrie in a closet, the closet is designed to terrify and torment with effigies of sinners. To encourage Carrie to recognise her many sins and repent.

One day things change for Carrie. She is sixteen, in the communal showers at school after Physical Education, when she begins to bleed. She stands there, thinking that she must be dying.

Nobody has ever told her about menstruation. Unfortunately the other girls are less than sympathetic, in fact they are the polar opposite. They are cruel. They taunt her. They throw sanitary towels and tampons at her, telling her to plug it up. This traumatic event during puberty triggers something within Carrie and she starts to slowly realise that she can move and manipulate objects with her mind.

But what will she do with the power? Then popular boy Tommy Ross invites Carrie to The Spring Ball. What somebody intends as a kindness to Carrie leads to devastating consequences.

In Carrie the description is good, but some of it has become dated over time – including references to things. This is something that King recognises in the introduction to the story. However the reader can still mostly imagine what’s happening.

The story is told from various perspectives and using various formats (including quotes from imaginary books published about The White incident, interview Q&A from The White Commission, articles from News Papers, AP tickers and direct first person accounts). This variety in formatting made a refreshing change, although it did give some of the plot away at times. However it did add an retrospective analysis to events.

Carrie was a character that the reader quickly develops empathy for. All the other characters were strong and a few words of dialogue or internal thinking was all that was needed for them to come to life.

The plot was captivating and the pacing moved along at an appropriate speed. As Carrie was King’s first book, it is much shorter than some of his other books. This shortness actually made the book more enjoyable than some of King’s tomb-sized books.

Carrie is available to buy on Amazon and at all good book shops.

Review soon,

Antony

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I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


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Book Review: Speaking Out – Queer Youth in Focus photography by Rachelle Lee Smith

By Books & Authors, Gay, ReviewsNo Comments
speaking-out-book-cover-rachelle-lee-smith Speaking Out is a collection of photographic portraits of LBGT young people (aged 14-24 years old). 65+ young people, mostly from the USA are photographed. On each portrait young people have shared their thoughts, feelings or an experience. The young people have been honest in sharing their joys and tribulations of being an LGBT youth in a heterosexual world.

In Speaking Out photographer Rachelle Lee Smith took the portraits, handed young people a sharpie pen and left them to write what they wanted. Among other topics, young people wrote about: stereotypes, identity, homophobia, self-love and romantic love. Young people identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered. It was great to see transgendered young people represented, however the vast majority of the young people identified as lesbian.

Years later, some young people reconsidered their portrait. They wrote about how their lives had changed and what they would write now. It was enjoyable to read these reflections from young people and the book would have benefited from having more of these. Several pages of the book felt wasted as they contained quotes that either praised the photographer or the book its self. Never was there any praise for the young people who were actually brave enough to share their stories.

Speaking Out is presented well, it’s a large book with 127 glossy pages in full colour. There is the odd page where a young person’s hand writing makes it difficult to read what they’ve written, but at no point is it unreadable.

Speaking Out is an enlightening book that shows how we are all the same, rather than how we are different. It should be available in every school, college, library and youth club.

Review soon,

Antony

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Import: My ‘Naked’ Confession

By Creativity, JournalismNo Comments

I’ve got a confession to make, but first let me tell you a bit about myself. I’m a gay man, twenty-seven year old and a professional. I’ve been single for the last 3 years following a bad breakup.

Here’s my confession: I don’t like to be naked.

Let me explain, it’s not that I mind being naked per se, just being naked in front of other gay men. A boyfriend is different – as long as he gives me the time to get comfortable being naked with him. But it hasn’t always been this way.

Like most teenagers I was body conscious, although it is probably better described as body paranoia. I remember hating PE at school, not just because of the sports but because of the changing rooms as well. I felt awkwardly self-conscious as I changed and had to be careful that the other boys didn’t catch my wondering eyes.

By the time I was in my late teens, I’d left school and attitude to my body and being naked had completely changed. At this time you could have almost described me as an exhibitionist. I enjoyed being naked, especially with other gay men.

As an adult I got into relationships with men, all of which for various reasons didn’t work out. I began to associate being naked with the feelings of emotional pain, heartbreak and vulnerability that inevitably followed. And I don’t handle vulnerability well – insert copious amounts of crying alone in private.

I’ve worked hard to get over these feelings and I thought I’d had some success. But I recently realised that I’ve regressed. I’m body conscious again and to make matters worse am still fearful of being naked because of my own associated feelings of vulnerability.

I’ve decided its time to take drastic action. I need to get naked around other gay men. I had a think about where it was going to be socially acceptable to get naked and where other gay men would be suitably naked. It won’t surprise you, when I tell you I struggled to think of a place. Most of the gay places I thought of are pubs or clubs and these tend to have a dress code that requires some form of clothing.

Until one day I had a eureka moment – how about a gay sauna? Yes, they may require towels but it is as close as I’m going to get. It’s certainly naked enough to bring those uncomfortable feelings to the surface. I’ve never been to a sauna of any description. So I’ve read up on other people’s experiences and sauna etiquette, but haven’t been brave enough to go into one yet.

However over the next month I’ve set myself the challenge to go into a gay sauna and will write about the experience in next month’s column entitled: ‘Getting Over Being Naked: My Sauna Experience.’ Wish me luck.

Published by: The Gay UK on Tuesday 27th August 2013.

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