Skip to main content
Tag

goals

The Secrets to Self-Awareness

By ThinkingNo Comments

The Secrets to:

self-awareness-image
Self-awareness.

Self-awareness is about understanding more about you. It’s about being aware of your thoughts, feelings, ego, knowledge, skills, experiences, relationships, communication, strengths & weaknesses, drives and behaviours in a situation. Self-awareness isn’t something you do just once or occasionally. It should be an on-going day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment task.

There are numerous benefits to being more self-aware. A good example is that you can use self-awareness to change how you respond to different discussions and events to get better outcomes. It is just about you being aware of yourself and how you influence others. Nobody can be self-aware at all times, but you can make yourself more self-aware.

So how do you become more self-aware? Here’s my suggestions, based on research online and my own experiences:

1. Observation
Observe everything going on around you. Including yourself and how you interact with others.

2. Reflection
Reflect on just about everything. It could be a past experience, or reflecting on something you’ve learned or read. Consider:

  • Who? What? Why? How? When?
  • What were your thought?
  • What were your feelings?
  • What were your behaviours? How did others behave?
  • What outcome did you want? Did you get it? If not, what could you do differently?
  • What did you learn? How can you use this learning in the future?

People have lots of different ways of reflecting. Some good ideas include: meditation, keeping a daily journal and counselling sessions (using the counsellor as a sort of sounding board).

Two important things about reflection:
1. You’ve got to practice reflection to get good at it.
2. It has to become a regular behavioural habit.

3. Balanced Thinking
When observing or reflecting ensure that your thinking is balanced. When it comes to ourselves we are often too critical and only see the negatives. Be fair and kind to yourself. Recognise both the positives and negatives.

4. Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is about being able to recognising how you are feeling and the emotions of others around you. A good way of developing emotional intelligence is to replay past situations in your mind and consider what emotions people in the situations (including yourself) were experiencing.

Emotional intelligence will enable you to have more control of your emotions, when/how you express them and being able to influence others on an emotional level.

It might also be worth learning more about body language as 80% of communication is non-verbal.

5. Honest Feedback
Honest feedback about yourself is important for self-awareness. Any feedback should come from a person that only wants to help you to improve yourself. If you suspect that feedback coming from a person is because of their own self-interest or because of another agenda, think carefully about its bias.

You can get feedback from family, friends, work colleagues, customers, practically anyone. Usually all you have to do is ask.

It’s good to know about the 5 to 1 ratio. The person giving you feedback should give you 5 authentic compliments to 1 piece of specific constructive criticism.

The person you ask for feedback may not of heard of the 5 to 1 ratio. So it might be worth discussing it with them prior to asking for feedback. It would also be good if you started using the 5 to 1 ratio when you give feedback to others.

6. List Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Celebrate your strengths and develop weaknesses.

mental-health-wisdom-banner

7. Encourage Open Questions
Encourage open questions that stimulate debate and discussion in all areas of your life. Debating and discussing opinions is a really good way to become more self-aware and develop awareness of others.

8. Know Your Story
The stories we tell ourselves, especially those about ourselves give insight to all things self-awareness. So know your story. Know how your past influences your now and how it could potentially impact on your future. Listen carefully to the narrative.

If there narrative is highly negative or too critical, you may want to sit down and rewrite your story on paper. Once you’ve done that start telling yourself and others your new story.

9. Life Goals
Write down your life goals. This exercise is brilliant for self-awareness, especially if you do the introspection as you develop your life goals.

10. Coaching
I’ve never had coaching. But there seems to be a widely held belief that good coaching encourages self-awareness. I can see how this would work. Like most things, the more you put into coaching in terms of self-awareness the more you’ll get out of it.

11. Our Own Version of the Truth
Two people can experience the same event, yet have completely different perspectives and views about it. We all have our own version of the truth. Remember this.

12. Psychometric tests
There are many psychometric tests available, each with its own Pros and Cons. Perhaps the most well-known is the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) based on the work of Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst. You can take a MBTI test for free and view your results here.

Useful Online Resources
5 Ways to Become More Self-Aware – Harvard Business Review
Ways to Improve Your Self-Awareness – Cleverim
Know Thyself: How to Develop Self-Awareness – Psychology Today

Write soon,

Antony

mental-health-wisdom-banner



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


Share on Social Media:

What are some of the most difficult questions in life?

By Life, ThinkingNo Comments

most-difficult-questions-in-life

Here are some of the most difficult questions in life, along with my current partial answers to them. None of these complex questions have simple answers. If you have a better answer than the one I have, or would like to share your answer to these questions, please leave a comment below.

Who am I?

Who I am is fluid rather than fixed and changes constantly. It encompasses my thoughts, feelings, intentions, actions, omissions, behaviours and my soul. Who I am changes as quickly as each encompassed element can change.

What is consciousness?

Consciousness is a result of billions of neurons in the brain firing electrical signals to other neurons. Our body allows us to sense the world (through taste, sight, touch, smell, sound and psychic intuition) and then create thoughts and feelings based on the now, memory and past experiences, dreams and hopes for the future.

What’s the meaning of life?

I have no idea what the meaning of life is. But I’ve got a feeling that it’s different for every life. I do know that you should decide on the purpose or ideally purposes of your life.

Purposes may include: dedication to family/friends, goals/achievements of your own, contribution to the wellbeing of others, learning/studying/growth, to create or destroy, to consume and enjoy, to travel, to adventure and experience, to improve humanity, to love, the list goes on and on.

Where does creativity come from?

Perhaps the question should read: what inspires creativity? A large number of things can inspire creativity, including: nature, research, other people’s creative works (art, music, literature, sculpture, etc.), curiosity, questions, past experiences, daily life, failures, logic/illogic, other people’s ideas, emotions, procrastination, through play, again the list goes on and on.

Does God exist?

Pagans are polytheistic, meaning that they worship many Gods and Goddesses. I personally believe that these Gods and Goddesses represent humanistic aspects of a Divine Energy.

This Divine Energy is infinitely complex and incomprehensible by the limited human mind. This Divine Energy is within everything that ever was, is and will ever be. It is timeless, interconnects everything and keeps the universe in balance through constant creation, change and destruction.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

We all have a sense of fair play. When we see bad things happen to good people, we notice it as it feels unfair. We notice it more because the person is a good person. But life events are simply what they are.

Sometimes bad things appear at random and sometimes they are methodological. They can be difficult to accept and it is normal to feel a sense of injustice and unfairness.

Reframing your thoughts to acknowledge that bad things happen regardless of whether a person is good or not is a way to balance your thinking. It is also useful in breaking the association between behaviours (being a good person) and negative life events (the bad things).

What happens after we die?

The cells, tissues and organs in your body die (necrosis). Your body decays until the point that only your skeleton is left (skeletonisation).

But when most people ask this question, they are referring to what happens to the soul after death. Well most believe in heaven or an afterlife of some sort. Others believe in reincarnation (being reborn as another person, animal or plant).

I personally believe in both an afterlife and reincarnation. I think that your soul is energy and is released from your body on your death. It travels to another plane of existence (the astral plane).

The astral plane is like an afterlife but not like a traditional version of heaven. You are reunited with other souls that you have known (possibly over several lifetimes and the times in-between). You have the choice of if and when (although there is no concept of time in this place) you want to be reincarnated.

The purpose of being reincarnated is so that you can grow as a soul, but also so you can do some of the things that only physical entities can do (such as enjoy food, music, dance, sex).

What is love?

Poets, Writers, Musicians and Artists have all been exploring what love is and how it is expressed since humans were first able to feel and think. I think any type of love starts with vulnerability, connection and intimacy. From there it grows into trust, warmth and attachment.

For me there are different types of love:

  • Love shared with friends. Familiarity, shared interests, shared values and loyalty.
  • Love shared with family. Familiarity, growing together, mutual respect and unconditional acceptance.
  • Love shared with a lover. Romance, possibility, comfort, sensuality and sex. (I should note here that I am single.)
  • Unexpressed love. Fantasy, a crush, desire and longing.

Have I met Mr/Mrs Right?

How the heck should I know? But I would ask yourself: Does he/she make you laugh? Can you tell them anything? Does he/she build you up and support you? Does he/she add something to your life? Does he/she have their own life, with their own friends, dreams and ambitions? What do your friends and family honestly think about them and you as a couple?

Hopefully answering these questions will give you more insight.

Can love last a lifetime?

Yes. As long as both partners continue to grow independently as well as growing together. And as long as they continue to love one another. I believe love can last, not just a lifetime, but into the afterlife and beyond.

Write soon,

Antony

mental-health-wisdom-banner



I aim for posts on this blog to be informative, educational and entertaining. If you have found this post useful or enjoyable, please consider making a contribution by Paypal:


Share on Social Media:

Some Plans for 2017

By Adventures, Friends & Family, Happiness & Joy, LifeNo Comments

I was ill for the first few weeks of January. At one point, I took to my bed for three days. As a result, I haven’t finished deciding on or writing up my goals and new experiences for 2017.

But I have started making plans. So far my plans include:

  • A Big Birthday Bash for Chrys. Still do most of the planning and organising for. Still to source of suitable present.
  • Finish my tour along Hadrian’s Wall (along with ancient sites of interest) with Simon. Date set. Still to plan in more detail.
  • My Birthday. Still to sort. My birthday is on a Sunday this year.
  • Kay & Alex’s Wedding. Hotel booked. Still to buy a new suit and source of suitable present.
  • An adventure to see Stonehenge, Glastonbury and Amesbury over two days with Simon. Dates set and hotel booked. Further planning needed.
  • A visit to Sheffield Botanical Gardens with Simon. Date set.
  • To see Despicable Me 3 with Steve or Neil, Rhianne & Ethan.
  • To see Sister Act with mum. I got tickets off mum for Christmas.
  • To Celebrate Samhain. Still to arrange.

Take care,

Antony

mental-health-wisdom-banner

Share on Social Media:

A Review of Goals & New Experiences for 2016

By Books & Authors, Happiness & Joy, Life, ThinkingNo Comments
goals-and-adventures-large Goals for throughout the year:
Unticked Box Read & Review at least 20 books.
I have read 19 books this year and reviewed 17 of them. The two books that I have not reviewed yet, will be reviewed in January 2017. See my Book List 2016 for a list books that I’ve read this year, along with links to reviews I’ve written for each book.

Unticked Box Watch & Review 6 films.
I can remember watching at least 5 films this year, they include: The Giver, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Good Dinosaur, Star Trek Beyond and Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie. However I’ve not done a review of a single film this year.

Tick Box Bullet Point To create more time for creative projects.
I am more than happy with my creative output this year. I’ve reduced my working hours, so that I can still afford to live, but so that I have more time for creative projects. I have also been careful about how I use the limited time and energy I have to get the most out of it. This combination of working less and using my time and energy better has significantly increased my creative output.

Tick Box Bullet Point To complete 2 creative projects.
I’ve completed 12 creative projects this year. This is a massive achievement when compared with my creative output in previous years. For more details of my creative projects see: 11 Creative Projects That I Never Intended To Do… This Year and The Finished Project (candle making project).

Tick Box Bullet Point To get up-to-date with my financial obligations and continue to reduce the balance on my debts.
I am up-to-date on my mortgage and other household bills. I have continued to reduce the balance on my debts. I have paid monies back to family that I owed monies to.

Unticked Box Save up for and buy a new rug and corner sofa for the living room.
I still need to do this. The sofa is getting in desperate need of replacement. Both of these will be goals for 2017.

Unticked Box To give up smoking.
I’m still working on this on a semi regular basis.

Monthly Goals

January
Tick Box Bullet Point Start a new creative project.
I published my latest short story Soulmates, here is an excerpt:
Soulmates-by-Antony-Simpson-Short-Story-Excerpt

I also wrote two blog posts that I’d been thinking about and planning to write for at least the last few years: 5 Wise Quotes from Albus Dumbledore and A Tale Of Overcoming Adversity.

Unticked Box Take it easy.
This didn’t really happen. This year has was exceptionally busy. Most of time due to circumstances beyond my control.

February
Tick Box Bullet Point See Mary Poppins with Mum, etc.
Done. I blogged about it here: Mary Poppins Live at The Palace Theatre, Manchester: Marvellous, Magical and Magnificent.

March
Unticked Box Treat yourself to a reiki treatment.
I haven’t had a single reiki treatment this year. At the start of the year it was due to lack of money. Towards the end of the year it has been due to my Reiki Pracitioner changing where she works.

April
Unticked Box See a sunrise.
This has been a goal for the last few years. I think I need to take a day of annual leave off work to experience this next year. So this will be a goal/new experience for 2017.

May
Tick Box Bullet Point Celebrate your 30th in style, including a night out in Newcastle and a family meal.
I didn’t manage the night out in Newcastle, but did do the family meal which was wonderful. I blogged about the family meal here: My Thirtieth Birthday.

June
Tick Box Bullet Point Visit Chester Zoo Islands Exhibit.
I actually did this in May, as part of my birthday celebrations. See A Day Trip to Chester Zoo.
Tick Box Bullet PointStart a new creative project.
One weekend in June I wrote, edited and then published an article on The History of the National Health Service (NHS). It was a creative project that I have been thinking about for sometime and I was proud of myself because I had finally done it.

July
Tick Box Bullet PointSpend time in nature. Go for walks in places of natural beauty.
I visited Astley Hall Park with my friend Simon. I would have liked to spend more time in nature during July, but the variable weather influenced what I was able to do.
Tick Box Bullet Point Visit a botanical gardens.
I visited Southport Botanic Gardens (Churchtown) with Simon in August.

August
Tick Box Bullet Point Visit a castle, one that you haven’t been to before.
Okay, technically I didn’t visit a new castle this year. But I did do a tour of acient sites along Hadrian’s Wall with Simon. See The Hadrian’s Wall Adventure (Part 1) and The Hadrian’s Wall Adventure (Part 2). A goal/new experience for 2017 will be the finishing off of The Hadrian’s Wall Adventure, meaning that Simon and I will have followed the wall from one end of the country to the other.

September
Tick Box Bullet Point Read in the horror genre. Maybe some Stephen King.
I read Under The Dome by Stephen King, which I reviewed here. I also read The Stand by Stephen King, which I reviewed here. Although I’m not sure that either of them was in the horror genre, I’ve ticked it off as completed.

October
Tick Box Bullet Point Celebrate Samhain.
Celebrated Samhain in style with my friends Simon & Chrys. Great food, drink, fire, music and company.

November
Tick Box Bullet Point Take it easy.
I tried to do the bare-minimum in November. This was probably why there were only a few blog posts in November.

December
Unticked Box Bring people together to celebrate Yule.
Yule fell on a Wednesday, which made it difficult to arrange a get together. Perhaps I will put this on future goals when it lands on a weekend.

This year I’ve completed 14 of 22 goals/new experiences for 2016. That’s over half and not at all bad when you consider the 12 creative projects I’ve completed this year, along with how busy the year has been otherwise.

Blog soon,

Antony

Share on Social Media:
×